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Total Members Voted: 11

[Squill]

I poofed for awhile, but then I heard about an update for DF and I was like, "Oh yeah, that game exists." So now I'm back

[FallacyofUrist]

MISSING SOMEBODY.
Not literally.
I am missing...
WAIT A MINUTE.

In the mean time I'll pursue Somebody.

this, people, is why we bold our actions- so that GMs who think that he/she is missing an action can see said action and not prolong the wait till next turn.
GRAGH.

[FallacyofUrist]

Turn Eight: Of Eggs and Murder
((Sorry about the wait. I had a math test. A large and important one. I passed.))

0. Eat another peppermint.
1. Kiss the cannon. This phallus symbol is working wonderfully.
2. Flex.
3. Caress the egg carefully. Can't believe I'm going to be father so soon.
4. Protect my baby from wimpy aggressors.

Ira pops a peppermint into his mouth, flexes some more... abruptly realizes that if he tried to caress the egg, it would most likely smash it due to ridiculously high strength and ridiculously low dexterity... he doesn't mind standing guard, though. (The Egg will hatch at the end of this turn.)

Stab Somebody, then run away.

CONVINCE TERRAHEX TO BECOME MY SLAVE! OFFER THEM A COMBAT KNIFE FOR THEIR 20 YEAR SERVICE. IF THEY KILL MAGE GUY.
Also, get on all fours.

In the mean time I'll pursue Somebody.

((Terrahex, as noted, use bolding on your actions, for my sake. If you use a phone, you can manually type out the bolding by doing [ b ]text[ /b ] without the spaces in the tags.))

INIT:
Mage Guy(3-2=1)
Somebody(5-6-2(AGH)=-3)
Terrahex(1+3=4)

Terrahex stops for a moment, flexes her muscles, and charges at Somebody once again. Brutalize! (2+1(TRG)=3 vs. 2+2(DEX)-2(AGH)=2) (2+3(STR)=5 vs. 4-2(AGH)-1(MORE AGH)=1) ((... ouch. Whether or not to kill... whether or not to kill...)) (Somebody hang on to life: 1) Somebody explodes into gore. He's dead.

(2+1(Somebody: one item)=3) (tier: -1) Behold, a lightsaber! With no place for the blade to come out! It's also somewhat longer than you would expect.

Mage Guy makes a flourish with his combat knife, then considers his options.

Go and pester Ira. Whack at Ira's egg.

(2+6(SPD)=8) The Roach accelerates to a ridiculous speed, and enters the center once again, warned by his developing psychic powers to destroy a certain egg. (3-6(TRG)=-3 vs. 0(egg)) The Roach demonstrates the proper technique for caressing an egg. Ira is jealous. Accordingly, punch. (5 vs. 1+6(DEX)-3(FATE)=4) (6+6(STR)=12 vs. 3+6(TGH)-3(FATE)=6) The Roach suddenly feels pain. And bam. Across the center he goes, crashing into a tree at the edge of the forest. (stunned, must roll MND to act next turn) (3, Ira fails to poison Roach)... OH AGH NO. (MORE SMASHED CHEST, -2 all physical rolls.)

((... well, at least it wasn't an instakill. Like it could have been on a one for TGH.))
D'aww! The chick! It's so cute! And it's growing at an astounding pace!

The Exterminator gets out of his time travel pod, just in time to watch the Roach get punted into a tree, astoundingly, just in time to see a baby bird hatch from Ira's egg, and just in time to watch Null Nevermore smash his pod to bits. WAIT WHAT NO!!! (3+100(STR)=103 vs. 4+10(TGH)=14) Poof. No more pod. It just disintegrated. "KAPOW, as it is said in Universe Sector 928484839183, Universe 2348208585!" Accurse it.

(1)(Tier: -3) Oh look, a superhero cape! Red!

[FallacyofUrist]

Spoiler: Ira (click to show/hide)

Status: Healthy as a stone. MOAR KAPOW!

Stats:
Strength: 6
Dexterity: -6
Targeting: 0
Toughness: 6
Speed: -6
Mind: 0
Fate Points: 0
Loot Luck: 0

Stuff:
A gold goblet, covered/full of/coated in slime. It looks as though it was smashed with 8 damage into someone's head.
A small plastic bag full of peppermints.
A Star Wars battle droid. Fully functional. Has a laser rifle.
A somewhat large baby bird.
(not loot) Slightly handheld auto cannon. If he wasn't so strong, it might be a pain to use. (damage: 1d8+2) Heaviness(3).

Spoiler: The Roach (click to show/hide)

Status: Healthy, sure he'll survive. Not as much, though. WAIT AGH.
AGH(-2 all physical rolls)
Stunned(roll mind to act next turn)

Stats:
Strength:-6
Dexterity:6
Targeting:-6
Toughness:6
Speed:6
Mind:6
Fate Points:-6
Loot Luck:-6

Stuff:
Nothing.

Spoiler: Mage Guy (click to show/hide)

Status: Somewhat healthy. Has realized the benefits of stabbing defenseless enemies. Irritated at Terrahex's speed... and brutality.

Stats:
Strength: -6
Dexterity: 0
Targeting: 0
Toughness: -2
Speed: -2
Mind: 4
Fate Points: 0
Loot Luck: 6

Stuff:
A combat knife.

Spoiler: Terrahex (click to show/hide)

Status: Healthy, attacking prey in the hills/forest border... SMASH! KAPOW! MOAR DEATH!

Strength: +3
Dexterity: +5
Targeting: +1
Toughness: -6
Speed: +3
Mind: -6
Fate Points: 0
Loot Luck: 0

Stuff:
A lockpick. May be used as an improvised melee stabbing weapon(-2 to DEX damage, then)
A lightsaber with no place for the blade to come out of.
(not loot) A metal bludgeon(uses STR for damage).

Spoiler: The Exterminator (click to show/hide)

Status: Healthy. Pod, not so much.

Stats:
Strength: -2
Dexterity: 6
Targeting: 6
Toughness: -6
Speed: 6
Mind: -6
Fate Points: -4
Loot Luck: 0

Stuff:
A red superhero cape. Not worn.

As always, yell at me if you see anything wrong.

[AoshimaMichio]

Shoot The Roach for daring to caress by baby better than I can! And the baby needs food. Roaches are bird food.

((I notice my droid didn't shoot anyone.))

[Salsacookies]

Run back and whack at the bird again.

((Props on passing the test.))

[ATHATH]

Convince Terrahex that his life is meaningless and that he should just give up, then stab him.

[Coolrune206]

((Been poking around a bit but.... where IS the wait list?))

[FallacyofUrist]

((Page 2. On standard posts per page, anyway. Unless I managed to change my posts per page without even realizing it.))

((I notice my droid didn't shoot anyone.))

((He'll(it'll) certainly do so next turn. In any case... that might have been a mistake on my part.))

((Props on passing the test.))

((Thank you.))

((wait, why doesn't the Exterminator have loot?))

((Because I'm lazy.))
((Now I've got turn edits to do.))

[Person]

So, Null has 100 strength eh? Say, how ridiculously broken would an item have to be to be capable of killing Null. No real reason, just curious. Would a big red button that destroys the universe when pressed do the trick?

[FallacyofUrist]

((100 strength? Ha, no. The man collects gods. Literally. That was merely all the strength he wanted to use at the moment.))

So, Null has 100 strength eh? Say, how ridiculously broken would an item have to be to be capable of killing Null. No real reason, just curious. Would a big red button that destroys the universe when pressed do the trick?

((... it would have to be very, very, broken. Maybe a universe destroying button would do the trick. Assuming you surprised him with it and he didn't Nullify it in time. Of course, then one of his contingency plans would activate... and he would promptly murderize your entire bloodline. Time traveling to do so if necessary.))

[heydude6]

Upon recovering from the shock of having his time machine smashed, the Exterminator sees his archnemesis in a disadvantageous position. Unfortunately his own weapons were destroyed with the pod so things aren't much better for him either, but The Exterminator is resourceful and comes up with an idea.

Climb to the top of the tree and crush the Roach by jumping on him and breaking him with his fall

((Exactly what rolls get a -2 for the roach? Strength, dexterity and toughness, or is there more?))

[FallacyofUrist]

((Strength... dexterity... toughness... speed... targeting... basically everything but mind and luck.))

[FallacyofUrist]

Missing Terrahex. And since she's moving... and her last action was "pursue Somebody"... I think I might send her on a murder spree...

[FallacyofUrist]

Turn Nine: New Ninjas

EXTERMINATE

Convince Terrahex that his life is meaningless and that he should just give up, then stab him.

INIT:
Terrahex(6+3(SPD)=9)
Mage Guy(1-2(SPD)=-1)

Terrahex stretches, then demonstrates her minor skill in the "Flash Step" technique. MORE BRUTALIZE! Oh look, Mage Guy is closest to her! (3+1(TRG)=4 vs. 4) Mage Guy notices a small cut on his robes. Caused by a nick from that metallic thing Terrahex is carrying around.

Mage Guy attempts a logic attack! (4+4(MND)=8 vs. 2-6(MND)=-4) ((I'm going to point out that a difference of 8 for physical damage was enough for instakill. This is a difference of 12. Guess what's about to happen.)) Terrahex just stares. Then she stops moving, just standing in place. (will not take any action, including dodging, until Terrahex actually gives a command(Terrahex the player))

Time for stabbing! (5 vs. FAIL)(damage boost: 2 for good targeting against a non-moving enemy) (2+2(high difference in dodge versus targeting)=4 vs. 2-6(TGH)=-4)((Quote me: "I'm going to point out that a difference of 8 for physical damage was enough for instakill." Welp.))

Terrahex staggers, then falls to the ground, dead of a broken heart. Literally. DYWYPI? Her bludgeon falls to the ground, but her lock pick and lightsaber thing vanish into motes of light, swirling around a central point... (4+2(LOOT LUCK)+2(Terrahex had two items)=8)(tier: 4(4 for a roll is zero, 5 is one, 6 is two, 7 is three, 8 is four))

Mage Guy feels himself tackled. Not once, not twice, but three times. Many face licks promptly happen. Oh look, war dogs! Three of them!
((Think "rather large German Shepherd".))

Upon recovering from the shock of having his time machine smashed, the Exterminator sees his archnemesis in a disadvantageous position. Unfortunately his own weapons were destroyed with the pod so things aren't much better for him either, but The Exterminator is resourceful and comes up with an idea.
Climb to the top of the tree and crush the Roach by jumping on him and breaking him with his fall

Shoot The Roach for daring to caress my baby better than I can! And the baby needs food. Roaches are bird food.

Run back and whack at the bird again.

INIT:
Ira(6-6(SPD)=0)
The Roach(3+6(SPD)-2(AGH)=7)
The Exterminator(6+6(SPD)=12)
Battle Droid(4)

For once in his life, The Roach sees someone move faster than him. The Exterminator pulls off a flash step, then begins his PLAN! (3+6(DEX)=9) The Exterminator jumps onto the side of the tree, then runs up it, to the top. Then he uses himself as a cannonball. Target: the Roach. (5+6(TRG)=11 vs. 5+6(DEX)-2(AGH)=9) The Roach attempts to dodge, but he's not nearly fast enough. Impact. (Luck: 1) Fortunately for the Roach, and unfortunately for the Exterminator, it was a somewhat small tree. (1+1(TREE)=2 vs. 2+6(TGH)-2(AGH)=6) The Roach just looks the Exterminator in the eye. Then he shrugs.

The Roach (1+6(MND)=7) easily shakes off the fact that he's stunned. Then he's off, trying to whack the baby bird. (4-6(TRG)=-2 vs. 6-2(DEX)=4) The Roach promptly reaches the baby bird and caresses it lovingly.

Battle Droid knew that Master Ira wouldn't like that. So he shot first. "Die, Republic scum!" (1+1(TRG)=2 vs. 4+6(DEX)-2(AGH)=8) The Roach casually leaned backwards an inch. Miss.

Ira didn't like that. AUTO CANNON AHOY. (5 vs. 3+6(DEX)-2(AGH)=7) The Roach leaned backwards again, letting the oversized projectile go past him again. There goes another tree.
~~~
Two people descended from the sky.

One was named Ferdinando Alino. The other was named Johnathan the Invincible.

Ferdinando Alino (4+2(LUCK)=6)(tier: 2) felt a spear, tipped with crystal, appear in his hands.

Johnathan the Invincible (6+1(LUCK)=7)(tier: 3) noticed someone(a little girl) was standing next to him. She's wearing some sort of padded gloves...