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[King Zultan]

You'll never know weather or not peeing on the cat will work if you don't try!

[dragdeler]

It's trying to claim territory and you're conveying everything inside is your property. It doesn't hurt the cat, just it's pride. But if you wanna be a frickin human about it  ....

[Grim Portent]

I hate my brain. Can be having a more or less decent day, fatigued for various reasons but not angry or sad in any sense, then one sentence can spin me off into deep melancholy or seething anger and ruin the delicate balance in my brain.

I might need to start thinking of things in terms of spoon theory.

[Magmacube_tr]

I often look at my post history for establishing a reference. It's a self-grounding thing. I am a wee bit queer in mind, just as in other areas.

And the darned "Add a word to the text" game is everywhere inside my history. All throught the pages, there is this occasional wall'o text that spans a ridiculous length of an already crumped up UI (i am in mobile). It is mildly upsetting, truly.

[BlackFlyme]

Bought a new little shelf unit so I can get stuff off my desk and floor. After I built it, my mom pushed me out of my room and filled it with decorations.

I am not allowed to touch her shit on my shelf.

[Eric Blank]

Have you made an effort to explain to her that you bought it for your own use? Asked her to get her own shelf?

[BlackFlyme]

She doesn't care. Everything has to be decorated her way, and if I don't like it, I should find my own place. We have so many decorations that some of the doors can't even open more than half-way because of the crap stuffed right next to them.

I've brought up moving out, but I've been told I don't have permission to. Not that I'd be able to afford my own place with the rental markets the way they are now.

[Vector]

I've brought up moving out, but I've been told I don't have permission to. Not that I'd be able to afford my own place with the rental markets the way they are now.

Bruh, you're 29 ... fuck her permission.

[heydude6]

BlackFlyme could have phrased it better, but he made it clear that money is the real issue here. Did not know he was 29 though. To not be able to make a living wage at that age…

Edit: As for the shelf. Since you bought it with presumably your money, you have every right to tear it down and throw it out. If you can’t have it neither should your mom.

I recommend doing the same to any other items of yours that she’s stolen. It will give your mother a rude awakening.

[King Zultan]

Why not take her shit off your shelf throw it into the trash then put all your stuff on the shelf?

[McTraveller]

Sounds like a terrible situation, but I wouldn't recommend the advice given either.

I'd start with trying to understand why your mother thought it was fine to appropriate your space; there must be some unstated assumption there.  Then say that you had put that shelf up to help clean your area, and you're now disappointed that you can't do that because your assumption was violated.  Rather than just dump her stuff around or be hostile, "destroy your enemy with kindness."  Maybe set some expectations ahead of time.

Also, set a goal for alternate living arrangements.  I know it can be daunting to try and find a place in a high-rent environment, but it still should be feasible.  I don't know what your income situation nor local rent is (I don't need the details, unless you really want budgeting advice I'd be open to help via PM) but there's likely a way to budget so it works.  Before you take the plunge, perhaps make a "game" out of it where you track it month to month on paper, to see what it would look like.  Gain confidence that it's not unattainable.

[Great Order]

Honestly from the description of how stuffed with random crap the house is, I'd suspect either hoarding or hoarder-like tendencies.

[BlackFlyme]

Spoiler: house cleanliness (click to show/hide)

The house is clean, it’s mostly just my room that’s messy, but there is a lot of useless junk that I think should be tossed. The landlady doesn’t take care of her half of the house at all though. Our half is over-decorated, with vases and fake plants behind most of the doors like some impromptu doorstops. Appearances are very important to my mom, so for the most part the place looks as nice as possible, and she smokes outside to keep smells and stains out. It’s also why I’m not supposed to tell anyone I’m on antidepressants, since it would embarrass her.

Spoiler: finance situation (click to show/hide)

I make more than minimum wage, just not really enough to live alone. Cheapest rent I could find so far is 1500 for a one bedroom apartment. As is, I pay a bit less than half that for rent right now, plus I pay for all my other expenses like my phone, car payments and insurance, and the dentist. I try not to spend money on other things if I can help it.

Spoiler: trying to speak to my mom (click to show/hide)

I’ve managed to get some concessions though. My mom doesn’t barge into my room to accuse me of looking at shit online, and sometimes she remembers to let me know before coming into my room, but I’ve still been catching her trying to spy on me. I’ve also got her to let me start doing more of my own chores, rather than her doing them for me. She also says she stopped smoking in my car, but she probably still does, from the smell of it.

I’ve tried talking to my mom about my anxiety, but she doesn’t really understand. I explained how I don’t feel I’ve earned anything or how I feel I don’t deserve some things, and she just says I’m being stupid because no-one feels like that. I know she cares, and she’s trying, but our family really isn’t one that’s used to showing kindness to one another.

Sorry for the long vent post. Though in lighter news, my mom broke up with her asshole boyfriend a bit ago. There should be a lot less stress around now.

[Loud Whispers]

The people on the r/Fuckcars subreddit call this mental condition "Carbrain", a special kind of entitlement centered around the irrational love of cars and the belief that one should never be impeded while driving, and anyone who does impede them simply deserves whatever happens to them.

It's also the reason why there's a rich vocabulary for all kinds of vehicle traffic and vehicle traffic law, but then the vocabulary shrinks for users of public transit, pedestrians and cyclists. E.g. you have pedestrian roads and cycling roads, but you don't ever call them car roads because the assumption is all roads belong to cars and you're just living in a car world

[MrRoboto75]

I've lost about 20 pounds since August or so.  Like anything else I do about how I look, nobody notices or cares.

I don't know why I bother anymore, I'll never be desirable.