I went to my Ping Pong Club today, and I'm still just getting my ass beat by everyone. I've been taking it in stride, but it really is feeling like I've been playing this game every Sunday for months, maybe a year or more, and I'm still just fucking shit and making rudimentary mistakes all the time, my stamina is so shit that I have to take a 10 minute breather on the bench after just warming up. I'm just so frustrated with my utterly shit physical ability and my complete dedication to being a half-assed loser. I'm starting to feel like someone that lives in their head all the time like I do just can't get good at any sport or physical activity.
Even though everyone there is really positive and nice, it just felt like there was a heckler in my head for my entire time at the club. I had to leave early cause I was seriously starting to lose my cool, and I didn't want to look like a sore loser asshole in front of the guys I've been slowly building up a friendship with for what feels like years now.
I can sympathize. When I started my job here, people were big into Ping Pong. I'd barely played. But they were so hard up for opponents they were willing to play anyone and be patient.
It took me a solid year of playing a few hours a week before I started to develop actual skills. And don't let anyone shame you on the physicality; an intense match of ping pong is demanding, ESPECIALLY when you're always on the defensive. Competent players understand the conservation of energy. If you're moving to each side of the table on every return, you're working 2x as hard as they are. It's just like Tennis in that regard. If they have to sprint to each side of the court on every exchange, they're going to be winded in a minute or less. Playing from the middle, positioning yourself where it's going to be ahead of time, all these things save you energy.
Bottomline though, you do have a heckler in your head: your ego. You've got this desire for competence and your heckler doesn't let you forget even a single mistake.
Just a suggestion: play for fun. Don't play to get better, don't play to win, don't play to fit in. Have fun with it! Do silly shit. Play 3 feet back from the table. Go for the ones that you maybe should just let go. That's when I stopped being so hard on myself is when I just started enjoying it, whiffs, nets and all. And when you do well.....study. Think about why it worked. How the paddle sat in your hand when it went right. How the ping pong ball felt on the paddle when your slice came out just right or it had just the right tilt to get it where you wanted it to go.