Yes, I am autistic. It’s ok to ask something like that.
No offense but it's rather evident. I mean there are a lot of telltale signs in your writing
I’m curious what they are
Many questions about neurotypical behaviorisms, mostly. Neurotypical people tend to already either straight up know, or more frequently-- never care to know in the first place, why they do or do not do certain things at the fundamental, intellectual level. The only time such questions get asked, are either from people who are genuinely baffled by it (which are typically people on the autistic spectrum at some location on said spectrum), or are career clinical psychologists. The career clinical psychologists will likely already have some basis for a theory as to the behavior, and will ask questions in a fashion that in some way, gives away those prior suspicions. The people who are truly baffled, and are looking for any clue at all, due to an extant need to interact with such behavior, will not ask in such a leading fashion.
Humans are very adept at detecting patterns; People that interact with people with autistic spectrum disorder, of some caliber or other, will notice such trends in language and inquiry.
This is what Poo is most likely alluding to. Neurotypical people tend to approach unknown or unfamiliar things within the context of a pre-existing emotional-reactive framework. People with high functioning autism tend to have blunted affect, and thus approach it from a more intellectual derived framework, which attempts to systematize, rather than emotionally empathize, the unknown subject matter.
Things that are "Just blatantly freaking obvious" to neurotypical people, are often 'Profoundly baffling, and obtuse, if not outright contradictory' to the high functioning autist. As such, the neurotypical will never ask serious questions about "such obvious" subjects of "ordinary behavior", unless they have a very specific theory about it that they are seeking to test out (and their language will thus give away that intent to the astute.) The fact that you are genuinely baffled by such "Obvious" things, is a very clear and poignant "Tell."
There is nothing wrong about asking such questions, like there is nothing fundamentally wrong with being an autist. There is simply a reliable pattern in the kinds of questions, and the language used in such questions, that give autists away.
If you ask me, society NEEDS autists, *BECAUSE* the neurotypical inclination is to never ask such questions, and then rigidly attempt to define and answer them in a comprehensive and internally self-consistent manner that is free of conceptual biases. (The objective of the autist is just to understand, and thus correctly react to the baffling behavior-- Not to reinforce some preconcieved notion, as most neurotypicals approach things.) The insights of such inquiries, likely lead down roads that would not otherwise be trodden-- They are thus of considerable value to humanity as a whole.