*snip*
Sex is a lot more emotionally involved than modern media would make you believe. It might work out that way when you’re doing it with an attractive stranger, but this was a woman who meant something to you. Don’t think of yourself as someone who was too sensitive to enjoy something fun, cause this was more than that.
You wanted to get closer with her, and though she might not admit it, that’s what the two of you ended up doing together. It’s not one-sided either. If your description is accurate, then she has been opening up to you, even if she does shut herself away again.
Unfortunately, I can say from experience that the heart isn’t interested in compromise. Having a small portion of what you want is often worse than having nothing at all. Your only mistake was not knowing that piece of wisdom. But since you are in this now, you have to either resolve your issues and become a proper couple, or end this half-measure of a relationship.
If you want my advice on the matter, I can tell you that a lot of conflicting feelings are going through her head and she’s trying to figure herself out. The reason why she’s not accepting your easy outs is because she’s unsure of herself and is afraid to act until she is certain of what to do. There definitely are some things she likes about this relationship that she wants to hold on to.
Which is why you have to act instead. She’s trapped in her comfort zone and doesn’t want to lose what’s familiar, but venturing into the unknown is the only way you will ever make progress towards some kind of conclusion. You were kind and considerate by asking her what she wants, but now it’s time to move forward. You’ve heard everything she has to say. No matter what outcome you get, in the long-run you will be better off than where you are now, so don’t be be afraid.
What exactly you should do should be your decision. You know the most about this relationship and there may be some important details that we’re missing. The decision I made about a relationship I had in the past ran contrary to everyone’s advice yet it was the only thing I tried that finally made me happy. The advice I’m about to give you should be treated as just one opinion that you can accept and discard at will:
I think you need to put the sex on hold for a while. It’s clearly something you both enjoy, but it’s giving you a way to avoid the real problems the two of you have. In a lot of relationships intimacy is built before sex happens, so it should be possible for you to do that with her. If that doesn’t seem to be happening, then it probably isn’t meant to be. No sex can make up for this.
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Topic: Things that made you mildly upset today thread (Read 1225690 times)