You know, I think I have a problem of feeling animosity towards people that had a better, easier life than me. I got loaned a book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch, about a man that has terminal, inoperable pancreatic cancer that is set to kill him in a few months, and the book recounts his life and the things he learned. By the end of the book I hated this man, his life was fucking fantastic from beginning to end: Awesome parents, healthily moneyed middle class suburbanite, actual real friends and role models, cool relatives that are well-connected that can get him an interview with the head of a college he wants to go to, gets to go to that college, has no problems in his social life, just has a natural magnetic romance with his wife that he wins over easily and has no problems with, has awesome kids, gets to work at Disney Land as an Imagineer making rides, and is just loved by everyone as an amazing guy.
So yeah, from my perspective, this man might as well have won every single lottery he ever participated in; he won so many lotteries he even won the negative lottery of getting super lethal cancer that cut his awesome life short. You'd think that'd balance it out in my mind, as all his bad luck was apparently backloaded to when he was almost 50, but even that was kinda lucky! His death was certain, but he got enough time to put all his affairs in order, say goodbye to everyone, make this book, and then meet death with a smile on his face. He got to go out on top! There wasn't the tragic, certain descent into decrepitude with the withering of one's faculties, seeing one's loved ones pass away, getting shelved away by your children into a nursing home, and then dying in a feeble, barely-human state of semi-consciousness; it was on his own terms, with all his happiness intact and uncorrupted.
It's shameful to say, but I was so angry and hateful reading this book, I couldn't contain myself at all. I just can't stop the feeling of hostility towards people that got a deal in life that was so much easier and better than anything I'll ever even be able to dream about. I'm not trying to be an asshole, that's just how I felt: like an asshole that wanted to tear someone down just for being happy. Can't say I like that about myself.