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[Egan_BW]

I'm really bothered by this train of thought today. I don't want to acknowledge it, and I want to distract myself from it, but I can't concentrate on anything else. I can't get rid of it, it's just in the back of my head bothering me:

Spoiler: nope, don't read, weirdly overly dramatic feelings about above feelings (click to show/hide)

Well, either I have to angry because you're directly insulting my lifestyle and sexuality, or I have to be angry because you're irrationally applying different logic to yourself than to me. You can't just do that! We are the same creature. A human is an animal, is a machine, and we're nearly the exact same type of machine, and both of the machines that we are are parts in a single, larger machine.

Gods, what horrible memes have infected you? I want to destroy them. I want to make those living ideas feel what it's like to be a thing of flesh and suffer. Your bad and wrong ideas about the value of sexuality are a parasite which harms you, and though that parasite has never touched me it harms my identity, my soul regardless. I feel an urge to retaliate, to harm that idea back, to wage bloody warfare on anything which harms me in that way. That meme is my enemy. Whoever taught you to think that way thinks wrongly. I don't want that infection on the same planet as me.

I vehemently disagree! with your logic, and dearly hope that you're somehow able to escape it. I'm sorry that I can't help any more than that. Remember that it doesn't matter who you are, you're a valuable, unique human soul, and that you don't have to quash who you are inside to fit with society's standard. Nobody is standard, and if they manage to look like they are the effort is probably killing them inside. Furthermore, there's no objective right way to be, or good or bad traits necessarily. The ideas of "inferior" and "superior" and just vague handwaves applied by incomprehensibly tiny and short-lived ape creatures to a world that fundamentally doesn't really care about us. No matter what, we're all really in the same bag there.


Edit: also, not a Mildly Upset topic, bad.

[dragdeler]

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[Dostoevsky]

Ruminations

I was debating whether or not to post some longer counter-thoughts, but realized it may not be very helpful (they'd be coming from an asexual person who finds sex rather disgusting, and so perhaps lack shared core assumptions/beliefs).

[Before posting I also noticed that it basically ended up being quite similar to Egan_BW's, but doesn't hurt to post this sort of thing more than once.]

What I can say, at least, is that normalcy is both overrated and pretty illusory. Everybody's got abnormalities, to the point that 'true' normality is abnormally bland upon extended exposure. I'm not closely familiar with that many people, admittedly, but for those people I do know I can say many/most engage in some level of mimicry to hide their own abnormalities. (Myself included.) It stinks that it seems that people have to feel they need to fit in to certain norms, but we're arguably a lot better on that front than we've been for the past... couple of millennia (depending on where in the world one is in).

Spoiler: One more thought (click to show/hide)

To the extent viable, I'd also suggest considering talking to a therapist. Doesn't work for everybody, but helped me with my depression. Not at all a magic bullet, but it can help.

More people do it than you may think; while the stigma is fading most do still hide it.

Getting meds can help too (helped me a lot), but I'd suggest talking to a therapist first. Psychiatrists can be pill-pushers.

[Rolan7]

Latest episode (on Youtube) of the Magnus Archives, #159.  Not linking it because it wouldn't make sense out of context.

But I've always had a hound's ear for truth, to mix metaphors.  A painful need to know things, even if they hurt.  Perhaps especially.

"I suppose to call myself an only child is technically untrue."
And even so- "to be cut off from one's family is it's own very special sort of Loneliness, isn't it?  And so we all serve, in our own way."

Departing from the episode which I haven't even finished- there's a freedom in having been cut off.  Even once connections are reformed, the power dynamic will never be the same.  There will always be the fact that you survived without them.

[Yoink]

Looks like there have been some interesting discussions going on in here, but right now I just woke up and all I can think of is how completely and utterly I have forgotten whatever interesting dreams I was having just a short time ago. Had to get up to pee before I could concentrate on trying to remember them, and by the time I was done they'd disappeared entirely, even the vague themes I still had an inkling of.   
Like tears in rain, etcetera etcetera.   

[Kagus]

While I am somewhat disturbed by this instance, it's kind of a funny mild upset so I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place for it...

So, I have had some--let's say "curious"--dating experiences. Normally I can slap a decent enough moniker on the girl involved so as to be able to tell the story without necessarily compromising her identity. Things like Kitty, and Alien Lady.

I have however added to these stories over the past year, and there's one in particular which is a wild ride of a story but that I couldn't quite get a good nickname for... And "Insane Narcissist" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

To cut some details short, I was recently inspired towards an epiphany. It fit in so many ways, so many truly disturbing ways that I absolutely did not need the accompanying mental images for. I had dated Trump.


So yeah... Trumpette can go toot her own horn.

[Yoink]

Hey fam mind giving her my number   

[scriver]

I don't know whether to make trumpet puns or strumpet puns

[wierd]

He's just dating SoCal Karen, but she seems to love trump's twitter feed more.

That's the image I see in my head anyway.

[wierd]

So, my own "Mild upset" for today.


The Director of Nursing instituted aggressive vital signs monitoring in order to effectively catch nascent COVID. A perfectly good thing to do.  She stated she would be in charge of managing the extra administrative burdens.

Well-- Guess what-- She says she cant do her normal work now, because of the extra administration overhead, so she delegated down.  The problem? *ALL THE ACTUAL NURSES ARE EQUALLY OVERBURDENED WITH ADMIN TASKS*.

What does that mean?

Poor 3rd shift-- We have to put in THE OTHER TWO SHIFTS' DATA for them now, because people cant manage their time resources effectively.

[dragdeler]

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[Egan_BW]

Ah, so demanding. You get a body all made out of microscopic machines, self-repairing, rated to last 70 years or more with minimal maintenance, and yet still you want more!

[Rolan7]

Sadly it's a timeshare and gets *real* uncomfortable if you use it for too long at a time.  Or if you're unlucky in any number of ways, really.
Also insomnia suuuucks

[Egan_BW]

Body may not be perfect, but it's the best system we've got~

[dragdeler]

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