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[wierd]

Try some directed meditation along with your medication regimen.

[lemon10]

Hmmm, sounds like it could work! Worth a shot, anyhow.   

You can put a math alarm on your phone that requires you to do math to turn it off with the idea that you have to put enough effort into disabling it that you are wide awake.
You might just decide to stay in bed of course because waking up is terrible, but it should ensure you wake up initially.

[wierd]

Such a thing exists? Shit-- That plus the evil j=pop should either transform him into a math whiz, make him tolerant of horrible jpop, or drive him batshit insane and cause him to smash the phone in rage.  Not sure which!

[Reelya]

That's not really fair. J-pop is pretty good stuff, it's k-pop which is crap. You're probably mixing them up and just assuming J-pop is typically similar to k-pop. It is not. (the reason K-pop took off and J-pop didn't is ... because k-pop is crap. It's the same demographic who turned Justin Bieber into star, think about that).

This is listed as J-Pop on Japanese Wikipedia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2uqpqrYmMY
https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/SAVIOR_OF_SONG
as is this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M3JKOgKew4
https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrival_of_Tears

This stuff is heavier and punchier than most of what passes for punk now in the USA, and probably has better lyrics. the Japanese wikipedia pages for both songs list the genre as J-POP and the same is true for a zillion other similar songs. In the west, we might say these songs don't count as "pop" however, it's the Japanese that decide what the definition of "J-POP" is, and it's not the same as our definition of "pop" at all. J-Pop frequently uses metal-style guitars, operatic vocals, guitar solos, violins and the like. It's a whole different thing of it's own. I kinda assume you're thinking it's all that bubblegum pop like AKB48? it really isn't.

K-Pop meanwhile is stuff that sounds like american rap/rnb/girl-group/boy-band stuff almost universally, whereas J-Pop is a term which includes that stuff, it isn't just that stuff, J-Pop includes a ton of stuff verging right up to near metal-level heaviness. A ton of J-Pop stuff is actually heavier than stuff considered J-Rock.

[JoshuaFH]

My supervisor chewed me out angrily, over some small mistakes that had accrued over the last couple weeks. One was actually what I'd call a medium-sized mistake, but I couldn't drum up any kind of reason for why I had done that, just that my concentration is just totally fucked from wheeling my sleep schedule around the clock every week. I'm losing focus and just making tons of shitty stupid mistakes all the time. I honestly just wanted to get fucking pissed and quit right then and there, but I just couldn't find it in me to get angry. Instead I just sat there silently and thought about it, but, again, I can't think clearly, so I just played the part of bitch again.

So I slept it off, and today I ventured out today to get some shit done! Gonna do stuff to get my life put on the right track ... wind up getting stonewalled by circumstances out of my control, feel discouraged and mill around, mood deteriorates, try to have a conversation with an acquaintance I feel is very friendly, realize I don't bring shit to the table I'm just feeling needy and I need to exit the interaction before I humiliate myself, mood deteriorates further, and I have to retreat back home before I start crying in public for feeling stupid and worthless.

God, can my life not be trapped in stasis? All my feelings of desperation are just fully surfaced today. Really craving whatever chemicals in your brain that allow you to function normally. Since I was in the neighborhood, I thought I might buy a weighted blanket since it promised that was like being hugged while you slept or something like that, but those things are 100-150+ dollars at where I was, so I decided against it for fear of buyer's remorse, maybe I should have picked one up though.

(In the middle of typing this, my computer crash for no reason again, and I got mad and hammer fisted my keyboard.)

I've been trying to avoid Bay12 for the most part recently, I think disconnecting myself from digital contact has helped me considerably. I'm just feeling too fucking weak and awful to give a shit today. I'm sorry.

[Yoink]

Just burnt the shit out of my saucepan after forgetting I'd put water on to boil. Again.
This is the second time I can remember this ever happening to me, and both are fairly recent. My brain is fucking failing me.   

[wierd]

burnt the shit as in, "Now the coating is totally flubared"  or as in "Now there's a pretty rainbow pattern on the bottom, and stuck on white shit."

For the latter, you can put cold vinegar in and wait 24 hours. It should wash right off. (OR-- get coffee caraffe descaler. That will work too.)  For the former, just do your best not to ruin any more pans, mkay?

[Yoink]

Uh well, it's kinda blackened but not nearly as bad as the last time this happened - and it's the same pot, which I managed to revive to a usable state using Ajax and boiling water, so I guess it's not too bad. Just really mad at myself, though.
Also embarrassed. Mostly embarrassed. My housemate probably smelled the burning smell and knows I fucked something up.   

[Kagus]

A friend of mine is trans, she's had the primary reassignment surgery, but she's also lined up for a secondary operation to complete the procedure and do some cosmetic stuff.

She's also got a drug problem. A problem that leads to her having tested positive to narcotics when they were originally going to do the secondary op, and getting it rescheduled because they can't put her under when she has other things in her system that could potentially interact with the anesthetics. This has happened a couple times already, and the currently-set date for the operation is almost a year after the initial date because it's been pushed back so much.

She had a pretty spiked night on Saturday, which was her "last hurrah" before going clean... And her time "clean" didn't even last a single day. She's surrounded by enablers who keep pulling her back in, and she's not exactly putting up the biggest of fights, despite how much this operation means to her and how crushed she was the first time it got cancelled.


It's just... I dunno man. Shit's fucked.

[TD1]

Messing with brain chemicals is generally ill-advised.

[Yoink]

Sounds like their brain chemicals are pretty messed up to begin with.   

[Rolan7]

A sad amount of LGBTQ+ suffer from addictions.  I don't know what could possibly drive us to that.
I hope she summons up enough strength to stay clean for the work, because she might have an easier time afterward.  It's good that she's got a reason to get clean, but it sounds like she might be giving up.

Just remember that you're not responsible for her choices.  The best you can do is offer your help and advice, it's not your fault if she doesn't accept it.

[Kagus]

She's supposed to be spotless for three months preceding the operation, which doesn't have an exact date yet but should be scheduled somewhere around... 2-4 months from now.

Saturday was the end of her time doing drugs, and the beginning of her time being absolutely clean. If we ignore the fact that she still was getting buzzed on Sunday from coke remnants in her nostrils, she lasted... Well, about 18 hours. It's not entirely confirmed, but she did head to her best friend's place after work and he smokes weed every goddamn day, especially when she's around, so it's not a huge stretch.

And now an "old friend" of an egotistical asshole painter is in town again after a merciful absence, and has contacted her. He's the kind to start the evening with cocaine and then move on to more inspiring substances, and it is of course essential that his model be adequately doped for the various visions he has in store. She was there yesterday, and has left very little doubt of what's been going on.


She is absolutely not going to summon up the strength on her own, because there's a whole fucking lot of people working together to pull in the other direction.

As for help and advice, from what I hear, she has been resolutely unappreciative of any attempts in the past; to the point of getting even worse out of spite.

[Khan Boyzitbig]

Just lost an entire bag of skittles .

[Hanslanda]

My limbs hurt. My back hurts. My neck and spine hurt. My feet hurt. My abdomen hurts.

But goddamn it, I am unbroken. Better than ever. I fuckin want this and by all the means i possess, its gonna happen.  I just gotta suffer first.

It does hurt though. I am suffering. I'm just so exhausted and sore. I'm not disheartened but I am physically strained beyond belief.