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[Schmaven]

Jim Gaffigan has a good bit about colonoscopies.  The best news you can get after getting a camera shoved up there, is that you didn't have to shove a camera up there.  Chalk it up to 1 just for fun.

[Great Order]

Red Mars had something in it along the lines of "When it comes to check ups, any news is bad news", so I'm happy knowing it's nothing serious.

Just again, not fun.

[Loud Whispers]

My neighbour is a top lad. Ex-black cab driver, proper East Londoner born just in time to miss the second world war. Fantastic health even in his venerable age; but he still has to get screenings for prostate cancer every now and then just to be safe. One of these screenings he gets asked if he'd be ok with some med students observing. He says yeah nah sure, having one man look up your bum isn't that much difference from having 3. Only, it turns out it was a whole damn flock of students. The lecturer had to sternly reprimand him for constantly joking and making the whole class of med students laugh

[None]

Reminds me of when I had my hernia repaired back in my college days. It was about five minutes before I was due to go under, they'd pushed a bit of that whatever to calm the nerves, I'm seated in the bed in my flimsy hospital gown, and some medical expert pipes in "Hey, do you mind if some medical students observe the procedure?" as like four or five students peer from behind them.

Like, sure, fine, I'm all for firsthand education, but once I'm out cold, please? I was uneasy enough about the whole 'incision near my genitals' thing, but I wasn't ready to have an audience of attractive medical students peering along at the surgeon's work (and mine) while I was still conscious to think about.

[King Zultan]

I don't think I'd be to keen on having med students watch me getting a finger shoved up my bum.

[scriver]

Sure, but if you say that when they spring a bundle of medical students on you then you come off as it's something else than medical to you 😉

[Akura]

If it's any consolation, there's a decent chance I may have to go through the same in the near future.

Right now trying to get that ball rolling. I haven't seen a doctor in years, and never made an appointment myself. I think I found a general doctor, which upon my mom's otherwise useless/unrelated advice is affiliated with a decent hospital. I just don't know exactly if they take my insurance. And then I have to get over my severe phone anxiety to actually make the call.

EDIT: Frick. I just realized I very probably need a valid ID... except mine expired literally 3 days ago. And my mom seems to have lost my birth certificate(or I did), which I need to get an updated ID due to new federal laws.

[MaximumZero]

Mild upset: Been waiting on doctors to read some xrays since last thursday. I was told they'd be ready by friday. The xray tech complained to me that they were coded as "stat" from the requesting doctor.

I've had to call and pester them three times now to get back to me, hopefully tomorrow. If not, I may be putting on my door kicking boots tomorrow.

[Schmaven]

...have lost my birth certificate(or I did), which I need to get an updated ID due to new federal laws.

I had to get a new birth certificate a few years ago with an "official raised seal".  It was like $10 at the town hall, they just need your name and D.o.B. to look it up.  I was surprised to learn that you can access anyone's birth certificate... I suppose getting to the right town hall is the tricky part.

Still a hassle.  Likely a line.  Plus short open hours, and the speed of bureaucracy is never fast.

[dragdeler]

Yeah I didn't know consumer grade film and negatives contains silver, who still has these anyway.

Why would you ask me for affirmation if you know better where they go, then follow up with some obvious stuff, when I answer ask as if you don't hear, then I go "k I'll go ask" and and then be extra insistive with those super nice "wha? huh? wuh?" like my mom loves to do when I convey with my voicetone that the answer is pointless because I can't tell you what you wanna hear and you're not listening anyway... just want bullshit affirmation

that alone makes me want to act like people don't exist for the rest of the day, have somebody more numbly social manage this bullshit, for me you can eat your garabage, I don't care about your grimace nor sillage, I got other shit on my plate, actually no don't have anybody else manage it, I got it, I got nothing at all, fucking throw it on a pile and burn it who gives a fuck, eat your garbage

[Great Order]

Coop's Irresistible own-brand vanilla custard is fucking lovely. Why does this upset me? ~1000 calories in a tub and it's nearly £3 per tub too. I'd eat shitloads of it if my belly and wallet would survive it.

[pisskop]

I have an issue sitting on public toilet seats without a wax paper, but I'll stand and pee no problem....

So I get into the restroom.  It's like 10^of colder than the rest of the store.  It's damp, and the tile floor is .... moist and has tracks of dirt on it.  A guy comes in and takes the urinal next to me.  He starts pissing really bloody loudly, and then starts breathing heavy.  Some people will, like, pee on the ceramic to muffle the sound, and this guy was playing the plastic cake guard like it was the drums, all while breathing like he was in a snuff film.

0/10 would not recommend the experience.

[Loud Whispers]

Something's awry with that one I tell you what

[Frumple]

I've seen folks note that sometimes that kind of behavior is due largely just to hearing problems (something like a fifth of the global population has some degree of them); they literally can't tell how bad a racket they're making, and so it doesn't occur to them to try to mitigate it. If the issue can be dealt with, it's not unknown for them to change how they act.

... sometimes folks are just weird, though.

[King Zultan]

Maybe he was trying for the world record of loudest piss in a public bathroom?