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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1101951 times)

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11385 on: January 25, 2022, 05:35:22 am »

Hmmm. If Boris is brought down over Partygate, I am going to lose my bet that the UK would see the creation of a Ministry of Extramarital Affairs before his rule ended.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11386 on: January 25, 2022, 04:30:38 pm »

It’s being investigated by the police now.

It would be slightly silly the number of other much more horrible things he’s had happen in his tenure (allegations of cabinet ministers bullying staff, said staff suing the government, the housing secretary taking money for something, a senior adviser driving hundreds of miles for childcare when he had Covid, his inability to answer whether or not he paid for renovations to his flat, etc.)  that he’d be taken down by half an hour at a party, and now apparently a surprise party for his birthday.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11387 on: January 28, 2022, 09:34:15 am »

It doesnt even need to be a backchannel deal, though there certainly could be one. Central Europe is utterly dependent on Russian gas, especially and obviously in winter, and especially this year with a huge energy crisis and with alternative gas sources having their own international ruckus going on (see: the crisis between Morocco and Algeria).

There doesn't need to be a literal deal, they just need to be terrified of a potential gas embargo to act as if there was one.
There's probably more to it, since Germany is also siding with China despite not being dependent on Chinese energy resources. Germany is doing something odd

Latvian defence minister slams Germany's immoral relationship with Russia and China

   Germany’s “immoral and hypocritical” relationship with Russia and China has driven a wedge between western and eastern Europe, Latvia’s defence minister has said in comments that highlight cracks in the west’s unity.

Artis Pabriks told the Financial Times that western Europe’s “wishful thinking” about security was evident in its response to Russia amassing more than 100,000 troops on its border with Ukraine.

In strongly worded remarks that lay bare the tensions within Nato over how to handle Russia, Pabriks said Berlin had an “immoral inability” to allow howitzer guns once stationed in Germany to be shipped from Estonia to Ukraine to help its defence against a possible invasion.

German companies were also threatening to quit Lithuania in relation to its dispute with China over the de facto Taiwanese embassy in the Baltic country, even as Germany invoked “values” when seeking to punish Poland over its rule of law violations, he added.

“How are you acting yourself when it comes to Lithuania, Russia, China?” Pabriks asked. “It’s immoral and hypocritical. It’s driving a division line between west and east in Europe.

“Germans forgot already that Americans were granting their security in the cold war. But they should [remember]. It’s their moral duty,” he added.
Which sums things up pretty nicely. Loads of harsh words for Hungary and Poland, and even Ukraine and Lithuania, all in exchange for what exactly? Clearly the Germans think the Chinese and Russians have something more to offer in exchange for throwing Eastern Europe to the wolves, and it's a lot more than just natural gas

dragdeler

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11388 on: January 28, 2022, 10:23:59 am »

a
« Last Edit: August 21, 2024, 06:58:29 am by dragdeler »
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11389 on: January 31, 2022, 11:41:53 am »

Aw, crap. Rough seas and a storm called Corrie sent a Maltese container vessel adrift into the new Dutch offshore windmill park near Noordwijk aan Zee, that is being built by Swedish energy company Vattenfall.
This afternoon it collided with the foundation of a transformer platform under construction and is drifting ever since right in the middle of the other construction sites and already finished windmills.
All crew have been rescued from the leaking ship by 3 coastguard helicopters, two tow ships are underway for a salvage mission.
The damages to our new green power supply are yet unclear.
Let's hope it will not be too much of a setback for reaching our climate targets.

It also raises the important question of how are we going to prevent drifting megatankers from colliding with our future windmill parks?
I suppose naval mines are off the table.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2022, 11:45:32 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11391 on: January 31, 2022, 11:59:18 am »

Hah indeed.

Oh, it's a German ship, not Maltese.
This morning, it's anchor was ripped loose by the storm while it waited in queue for the docks at Ijmuiden. It then rammed into a Maltese chemical tanker ship, which luckily remained stable and is still anchored.
Then it started drifting towards the windmill park.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

dragdeler

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11392 on: January 31, 2022, 12:56:10 pm »

a
« Last Edit: August 21, 2024, 06:57:21 am by dragdeler »
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11393 on: January 31, 2022, 12:57:16 pm »

Hah indeed.

Oh, it's a German ship, not Maltese.

It's a conspiracy to hinder renewable energy sources to benefit Grosse Kol
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11394 on: February 03, 2022, 12:42:40 pm »

Various European oil-infrastructure companies have been hit by a large cyberattack.
The German companies Oiltanking and Mabanaft brought the news themselves, that their terminals were severely hampered by cyberattacks. Shell had to turn to other companies to restock fuel stations across Germany.
British market researcher Argus and de Belgian newspaper De Tijd report that the oil terminals in the harbors of Antwerp, Rotterdam, Terneuzen and Gent were also incapactitated.

Most companies refuse to comment on the attack, out of fear of reputation damage, and because they need their time to resolve the issue, instead of speaking to journalists.

The German newspaper Handelsblatt reports that, based on an internal report from the German cybersecurity centre, that the attack was made using the BlackCat ransomware.


If WW3 ever starts, it will be over before it started, because our tanks and planes have no fuel.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11395 on: February 03, 2022, 06:25:07 pm »

Our government sent a top secret covert operation to Syria, to retrieve 5 Dutch IS women and their 11 children from a prison camp.
They are to stand trial in the Netherlands for the crimes of being a member of a terrorist organisation and actively supporting terrorist attacks (the women that is, ofcourse not the children).
We had to bring them to the Netherlands, or the trial would be declared void. It is a defendant's right to be physically present at their trial. So we picked them up from Syria to ensure them their human right of being locked up in a terrorist prison for a decade or two.
The children will probably have to be put in locked institutions and deradicalized, if that is even possible.

(The women we brought back are not of the 'I have so much regrets' type. They are of the 'we enforce sharia laws in this prison camp' type. Their children have been trained to help enforce sharia laws since they were 4 or 5. Can't place them in foster care, they will slit the foster mom's throat for not wearing a niqab first chance they get.)
« Last Edit: February 03, 2022, 06:35:59 pm by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11396 on: February 04, 2022, 09:17:47 am »

(The women we brought back are not of the 'I have so much regrets' type. They are of the 'we enforce sharia laws in this prison camp' type. Their children have been trained to help enforce sharia laws since they were 4 or 5. Can't place them in foster care, they will slit the foster mom's throat for not wearing a niqab first chance they get.)
Lol we had one such case as well. It became a very high profile human rights case with great public sympathy until she decided to speak to a journalist without her lawyer present. Sans laywer she admitted in front of a camera she had no remorse for getting innocent Syrians killed because they were apostates or non-believers. Public sympathy dropped to 0 overnight

The kids are pretty screwed. They're either going to be rejected by their parents or rejected by their country. No matter what they choose, they prove they are loyal; hope they can get a good teacher

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11397 on: February 04, 2022, 09:21:52 am »

Being rejected by their parents is irrelevant. Their mothers will never be allowed to see them again probably, and their fathers have been killed years ago by the allies. I hope the young ones that were born in the prison camp or still very young when they got there can be deradicalized. The older ones... Before they were in the prison camp, they have decapitated and killed many, 7 year was conscription age in IS territory, the young recruits starting their training with decapitation duty. For them, killing a women because she doesn't wear a niqab is just as normal and pious as it is for a catholic child to say prayers before dinner.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2022, 09:25:42 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11398 on: February 04, 2022, 09:31:14 am »

What I mean is, you don't get to choose if your parents are killers. What you're born into is what is normal for you. I'm sure we can all think of a few things that were pretty fucked up that we never knew were fucked up until we gained a proper frame of reference for it. The problem is these kids likely don't have the frame of reference that differing beliefs aren't something you should kill someone over

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11399 on: February 04, 2022, 09:42:19 am »

Yeah that's kinda what I mean.

It is heartbreaking. But I wouldn't know how else to deal with that other than to put the kids in a closed ward for deradicalization.
At least they'll be 1000x better off in a dutch psychiatric closed ward then they were in a prison camp in North-Syria. They'll get Playstation, education, relaxation, proper food.. They'll most likely will be free to join society at some point, but they can be sure they'll have the anti-terrorists services watching their every breath for the rest of their lives.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2022, 09:47:13 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479
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