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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1068529 times)

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11070 on: January 29, 2021, 08:09:59 pm »

You mean EXPORTED THE VIRUS TO MURRICA TO DO ARGALBARGL
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11071 on: January 31, 2021, 02:36:08 pm »

Starting from today, Hongkongese citizens with a British National Overseas passport can apply for a British visum.
About 5 million people can apply for this offer of the British government.
It is expected that about 300000 Hongkongese will make use of this exit strategy in the coming 5 years.
Since the new law came into effect in Hongkong in june last year, at least 7000 Hongkongese have fled to the UK.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11072 on: February 01, 2021, 07:40:10 am »

Starting from today, Hongkongese citizens with a British National Overseas passport can apply for a British visum.
About 5 million people can apply for this offer of the British government.
It is expected that about 300000 Hongkongese will make use of this exit strategy in the coming 5 years.
Since the new law came into effect in Hongkong in june last year, at least 7000 Hongkongese have fled to the UK.
'Look Sam! Wood-Elves! They're going to the harbour beyond the White Towers. To the Grey Havens.'
'They're leaving Middle-earth,' Sam said.
'Never to return,' Frodo said.
'I don't know why but it makes me feel sad.'

Meanwhile in Gottingen, Germany, huge unexploded WWII ordannce has been discovered. Hopefully these ones get disposed of safely

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11073 on: February 04, 2021, 06:44:22 pm »

The British telecom watchdog Ofcom has revoked the license of Chinese state broadcasting service CGTN, because the Chinese Communist Party controls it's content.
They are no longer allowed to broadcast in and from the UK.

With this punitive measure, the British government strikes right into the heart of the Chinese State broadcasting service's European endeavour; they had set up office in London in 2019 with the intention of it being their HQ.


Ofcom's decision to ban came in response to a complaint by human rights organisation Safeguard Defenders.
They based their complaint on the testimonies of 2 foreigners, who both claim to have made a false confession through torture in Chinese prisons. Their confessions were broadcasted repeatedly on CGTN, which according to CGTN, 'served common interest'.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2021, 06:48:24 pm by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11074 on: February 05, 2021, 05:58:12 am »

Oh damn. Back when I still owned a TV I used to watch dialogue with Yang Rui all the time. Even met one of the CGTN producers in China once. It's pretty blatantly CCP controlled so I'm surprised it took Ofcom this long to do something about its license though. Hard to say if there's any enterprise from PRC that is free from CCP machinations

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11075 on: February 05, 2021, 07:16:50 am »

China is furious at the UK now. Damn hypocrites. Maybe they should first allow the BBC to broadcast in China before starting to whine.

I suggest the UK deploys their navy to bombard Hongkong with BBC sitcoms 24/7
« Last Edit: February 05, 2021, 07:18:31 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11076 on: February 05, 2021, 10:55:25 am »

Oh no, now they'll double ban BBC

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11077 on: February 10, 2021, 08:34:14 am »

EU was late to approve vaccines, von der Leyen admits
European Commission president acknowledges failures in the fight against the coronavirus pandemic.


Quote
The European Union was too late to approve COVID-19 vaccines and overly optimistic regarding production, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen acknowledged, as she faces mounting criticism over vaccination drives on the continent.
Addressing politicians in the European Parliament in Brussels on Wednesday, von der Leyen said 26 million vaccine doses had been delivered and that by the end of the summer, 70 percent of adults in the 27-nation bloc should have been inoculated.
The EU has so far approved three vaccines – those produced by BioNTech/Pfizer, Moderna and Oxford-AstraZeneca, but roll-outs have been hampered by delivery delays, production bottlenecks and political blunders.
“We were late with the approval. We were too optimistic on mass production. And perhaps we were also too certain that the orders would actually be delivered on time,” she said. “In a way, science surpassed industry.”

Von der Leyen also admitted mistakes made in a bitter row last month over vaccines between the EU and the UK.
The bloc had intended to use emergency Brexit measures to restrict shipments of COVID-19 vaccines from crossing the Irish border into the UK but eventually retired the plan after it sent shockwaves through Northern Ireland, London and Dublin.
“I deeply regret that,” she said, adding that the European Commission would do its utmost to protect peace in Northern Ireland.
I am so surprised how she didn't expect that reaction from ROI, NI and UK

I never settle for at least but an apology is an apology, always welcome

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11078 on: February 11, 2021, 01:24:07 pm »

The Financial Times has proclaimed Amsterdam to be the winner of Brexit.
Since the Brexit, a lot of stock trading has moved from London to Amsterdam, which is now the new major stock hub of Europe.
In january, the Amsterdam stock markets traded for 9.2 billion euros in stocks per day, where the London stock markets dropped to 8.6 billion euros.

Since the Brexit, the amount of stock trade in Amsterdam quadrupled. Per day, 6.5 billion euros worth of stock trades moved from the UK to the Netherlands.

This is because of the Brexit, which forbids brokers based in the UK from trading any stocks from European companies, at least for now.

The EU and UK are still negotiating on this matter.  Stock analists however are already predicting that even when a deal is struck between the EU and the UK, the move of the financial sector to Amsterdam (and Paris) is most likely permanent.

Our country will profit greatly from this, for stock trades will need to pay tax in the Netherlands now.

Last year, the british government made 76 billion euros from taxing stock trade.  A large part of that sum will no longer go to UK coffers, but to dutch coffers.

Next to the stock market, swap contract traders and the market for state obligations have also left London and moved to Amsterdam.
The US Intercontinental Exhange has also announced it will move it's trade for CO2 emission rights (good for trades worth 1 billion euros per day) to Amsterdam as well.

It's quite fitting though. Amsterdam has the oldest stock exchange in the world (built 1606)
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11079 on: February 11, 2021, 01:26:55 pm »

Tulips
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Love, scriver~

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11081 on: February 11, 2021, 01:42:24 pm »

Tulips are nice. Our real big seller is food though.

I still can't wrap my head around how we, a very tiny country is square meters, manage to be the 2nd largest food exporter in the world. We literally feed half of the world. We produce enough milk to supply whole frigging China.

I don't know if I am more baffled by how we manage to cram that many pigs, cows and crops on such a small area, or by how on earth other countries in the world don't manage to produce more food on their vast expanses of land.

I mean sure, we live on a fertile river delta with a nice mild climate. But still, we only have 41543 m2 of land available, of which over 2/3ds is covered by cities, villages and non-food industry. We are 237 times smaller than the US.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2021, 01:48:40 pm by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Maximum Spin

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11082 on: February 11, 2021, 01:54:32 pm »

I don't know if I am more baffled by how we manage to cram that many pigs, cows and crops on such a small area, or by how on earth other countries in the world don't manage to produce more food on their vast expanses of land.
Simply, because as long as you've got the milk situation covered, they'd rather do their own thing instead of worrying about things they can easily get from you.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11083 on: February 11, 2021, 01:56:42 pm »

I guess that's part of it yes.

Just found a reasonably informative video on Dutch farming

https://youtu.be/5EkglVH6GM0
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #11084 on: February 11, 2021, 02:13:53 pm »

I was mostly mentioning tulips in relevance to it being the oldest stock market, wasn't that when the great tulip debacle happened?

I still can't wrap my head around how we, a very tiny country is square meters, manage to be the 2nd largest food exporter in the world.

The reason is, unfortunately, animal abuse
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Love, scriver~
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