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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1107265 times)

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9375 on: December 31, 2018, 10:39:09 am »

I don't get the 'General Who Pacifies The North' reference as nobodys actually named in the article.

As for Poland and Romania worrying about military brain drain, wouldn't that be their problem in the first place because it's their nationals who have already left their country in the first place? Though the article cites military pay as the reason.

Also, the mention about Germany recruiting foriegners made me think of the multiethnic army that the Austrian-Hungary empire had rather than the French Foriegn Legion. Not sure if the connection to colonialism/imperialism is warranted though as foriegners working for militaries not of their own nation is as old as the first kingdoms, whether they're conscripts or mercenaries/sellswords.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2018, 10:47:03 am by smjjames »
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9376 on: December 31, 2018, 11:05:31 am »

I don't get the 'General Who Pacifies The North' reference as nobodys actually named in the article.
Usually the go-to reference for the yellow jackets has been the Yellow Turban Rebellion and its appearances in popular culture, such as the Dynasty Warriors series of games.

"Protectorate General to Pacify the North" was also a military position in ancient Chinese government, but that title apparently only popped up several hundred years after the rebellion was over, so... I'unno. Probably from Dynasty Warriors, and I'm just too much of a scrub to recognize the particular anachronistic scene where someone mentioned it.

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9377 on: December 31, 2018, 11:29:04 am »

They seem to want to recruit immigrants... which is not unusual in itself.
I don't know to what extent that will be a successful drive tbh. What are they offering that would make a recruit post in the German army attractive to someone from Poland, Italy or France?
I think there are some gross misunderstandings nd misperceptions about intraeuropean migrations TNH
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9378 on: December 31, 2018, 01:56:36 pm »

I don't get the 'General Who Pacifies The North' reference as nobodys actually named in the article.
As Kagus said, it's a reference to the start of the Romance of Three Kingdoms, where the yellow turban rebellion kickstarts the Han dynasty's downfall to regional warlords. The yellow jackets being dispersed by honest to god cavalry makes it so much more apt

As for Poland and Romania worrying about military brain drain, wouldn't that be their problem in the first place because it's their nationals who have already left their country in the first place? Though the article cites military pay as the reason.
Their fears centre more around the incentive that the German army would cause to pull further young men, specialists & veterans away from Romania & Poland, and into Germany's armed forces for higher pay, though I'm sure they're also hoping their expats will come home with German training, language skills & capital

Also, the mention about Germany recruiting foriegners made me think of the multiethnic army that the Austrian-Hungary empire had rather than the French Foriegn Legion. Not sure if the connection to colonialism/imperialism is warranted though as foriegners working for militaries not of their own nation is as old as the first kingdoms, whether they're conscripts or mercenaries/sellswords.
Definitely has more in common with the Hapsburg army than the FFL, though if you go back further it wasn't all that uncommon to have Monarchical armies and navies staffed with a vast diaspora of foreign nationals, sometimes large enough to comprise their own armies

They seem to want to recruit immigrants... which is not unusual in itself.
I don't know to what extent that will be a successful drive tbh. What are they offering that would make a recruit post in the German army attractive to someone from Poland, Italy or France?
I think there are some gross misunderstandings nd misperceptions about intraeuropean migrations TNH
Money, social-advancement and experience. Doubt they'll reach the 10% target but it should nab some people

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9379 on: December 31, 2018, 02:31:24 pm »


Money, social-advancement and experience. Doubt they'll reach the 10% target but it should nab some people
Dunno, is the money that good? A quick google search suggests that it's not really much better than entry level military jobs in their home countries... or civilian jobs, for that matter. Likewise: *what* social advancement are they getting out of it? What experience that they wouldn't be getting elsewhere?

I just don't see any of this as likely. And I tend to think tjat if people are reluctant to work abroad they'll be twice as reluctant to work for a foreign military
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9380 on: December 31, 2018, 07:04:42 pm »

I and my only intelligent roommate in the army once nearly managed to convince one of our other, less-intelligent roommates that joining the French Foreign Legion was a really good idea.

He was at the "register for an application" page when he realized that they were based in France, and that being able to speak French was probably a plus.

And that he'd need to, y'know, do work.


We were so close.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9381 on: January 02, 2019, 07:00:04 am »

Dunno, is the money that good? A quick google search suggests that it's not really much better than entry level military jobs in their home countries... or civilian jobs, for that matter. Likewise: *what* social advancement are they getting out of it? What experience that they wouldn't be getting elsewhere?

I just don't see any of this as likely. And I tend to think tjat if people are reluctant to work abroad they'll be twice as reluctant to work for a foreign military

Basic German serviceman gets €23,000 annually
Basic Polish serviceman gets zł30,000 annually, equivalent to €7,000 annually

Once you start factoring in Officers, Specialists and bonuses, the disparity in pays increases exponentially. Regarding social advancement, it will depend on the military and the service, but for most in modern services has offered potential for advancement - giving families a foot into technical vocations like medicine, engineering, command of ships or planes, or a leadership post. Regarding experience, military experience is gained in the military. It is not an invalid concern, as Poland for example has a history of significant brain drain in recent years, with loads of their Uni-qualified young workers moving to countries like Germany or the UK to take up unskilled labour despite their able qualifications. Military-orientated Poles may still prefer to serve in a foreign Western military than their own based upon historical experience:

He added that it was important for the Polish armed forces to tell expatriates that the services were no longer the cash-strapped and conscript-based institutions that some Poles, he joked, may have left Poland to avoid.
At the start of the year Poland abandoned conscription and started to pour money into converting its army into a 120,000-strong modern, professional force.
The starting salary for a private now comes to around £472 a month, 13 times more than a conscript received, while specialist skills and combat experience could further increase the monthly pay-packet.
Poland's move away from conscription is in line with a massive overhaul of its armed forces. The country plans to spend some £17 billion by 2018 on modernising its military, which is still burdened by Soviet-era equipment.
Overseas deployment has also put wear and tear on equipment. Poland has 1,200 troops involved in combat operations in Afghanistan: a mission that has stretched the army's resources to the limit.

I and my only intelligent roommate in the army once nearly managed to convince one of our other, less-intelligent roommates that joining the French Foreign Legion was a really good idea.
He was at the "register for an application" page when he realized that they were based in France, and that being able to speak French was probably a plus.
And that he'd need to, y'know, do work.
We were so close.
How tremendously devilish

Il Palazzo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9382 on: January 02, 2019, 07:25:50 am »

Do note, that article is 10 years old. A lot has changed since then with regard to the quality and desirability both of the army and living in Poland in general. You'll still be earning less than the equivalent pay in Western countries, but the living costs are also proportionally lower, so much of the difference is only on paper.
Besides, the Germans want to recruit expats who are long term residents, and are at least partially naturalised, not some random secondary school graduates from a village outside Warsaw.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9383 on: January 09, 2019, 11:31:50 am »

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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9384 on: January 09, 2019, 12:33:02 pm »

Well, actually, there was just a press release in Norway about how the wife of one of the country's richest men got kidnapped on Halloween and is currently being held ransom for 9 million euros, deliverable in cryptocurrency.

The police just now decided to go public with the statement. Apparently hoping the kidnappers were bluffing when they said that contacting the media or authorities would end with the lady getting whacked.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9385 on: January 09, 2019, 02:26:50 pm »

Also in Germany an AFD MEP just got jumped by some unknown lads
UK media is just showing him with a black eye or else just not showing the wounds at all, which is all unsurprising tbqhfamalam. The unedited one shows the extent to which the dude got whacked, the image is spoilered on twitter so the link is sfw, but the spoilered image is graphic. It is suspected to be a politically motivated attack to the same extent I suspect the US government was behind the moon landings

Meanwhile in the UK Anna Soubry got called a nazi & a fascist by protestors, so she called the police to arrest the protestors, calling them fascist misogynist racists
You can attack pro-Brexit MPs or campaigners as nazis 24/7 but the moment the shoe is on the other foot "public order is breaking down" lol, bloody nazi naziing nazis "no u'ing" nazis. Top lels at the beeb getting their knickers in a twist about protestors calling Westminster a pedophile infested institution, really gets the noggin joggin

TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9387 on: January 10, 2019, 05:03:28 am »

Could my confidence in government get any lower?
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Il Palazzo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9388 on: January 10, 2019, 05:23:29 am »

Could my confidence in government get any lower?
Challenge accepted.
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Loud Whispers

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