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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1101905 times)

Cathar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9255 on: December 09, 2018, 02:42:30 pm »

I agree those grenades should be banned and it's indeed not normal to launch them at protestors. Tho picking up a grenade, as I believe is what happened, is probably the single most stupid thing you can do in that situation.

Jopax

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9256 on: December 09, 2018, 02:45:08 pm »

Well, having a grenade shot at you isn't really conducive to calm and collected thinking trough of a stiuation. It was probably a reflex, hell, if the situation was confusing enough they might've not even realised what it was until it was too late.
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Cathar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9257 on: December 09, 2018, 02:56:06 pm »

I mean we'll see how it develops, for now all we can do is speculate, even tho that scenario makes sense to me. Police shoots to disperse crowd, 20 years old kid thinks he's rambo and reality happens. This is plausible but still speculation at this point.

(Edit : I do not condone the use of violence especially by police force, and I say "don't try to pick up a anti riot grenade" like I would say "don't try to wrestle a mugger with a knife")

Don't think we don't punish people who do harm to others even in the situation of a violent demonstration, especially when that event and the actors are clearly identifiable. A motion by lawyers are calling for the ban of explosive devices for crowd control forces, I hope it will be carried through.
« Last Edit: December 09, 2018, 03:03:33 pm by Cathar »
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9258 on: December 09, 2018, 03:15:21 pm »

Meanwhile, Poland is experiencing the greatest corruption scandal the country has ever seen. Over 5 billion PLN have been lost or stolen in the SKOKs (essentially, credit unions). Seeing as the PiS party is heavily involved in the fraudulent operations of the SKOKs and seeing as they have been consistently covering up for the affair for the last ten or fifteen years nothing will be done to punish the men responsible. In fact, the men responsible for revealing the fraudulent operations of the SKOKs have been arrested for "not doing enough", even after one of them, Wojciech Kwaśniak, was beaten to an inch of his life in plain daylight by a hired thug with a telescopic baton.

If I have time, I might write up a larger post about the whole affair. Good night and good luck.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9259 on: December 09, 2018, 03:32:10 pm »

Well, having a grenade shot at you isn't really conducive to calm and collected thinking trough of a stiuation. It was probably a reflex, hell, if the situation was confusing enough they might've not even realised what it was until it was too late.

Heeeeey batter batter batter!

Teneb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9260 on: December 09, 2018, 04:59:00 pm »

I agree those grenades should be banned and it's indeed not normal to launch them at protestors. Tho picking up a grenade, as I believe is what happened, is probably the single most stupid thing you can do in that situation.
It happens extensively in riots, especially ones with tear gas grenades. So it can happen.
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Cathar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9262 on: December 10, 2018, 07:32:45 am »

Alright, so I could talk to a friend whose close to the movement. I mentionned the hand blew off incident, and he told me exactly what you would expect. Paraphrasing and roughly translating : "we had two last week, kids pick up tear gas grenades bare hand. If you want to send them back, you have to hit them with a pole"

So here you go, mistery solved. Illuminati are innocent this time

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9263 on: December 10, 2018, 08:29:21 am »

Tonight on 10 Downing street...
Hamwise Cameron: What are you up to? Sneaking off, are we?
Smaygol: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat Tory is always so polite. Smaygol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find and they say "Sneak!", "Sneak!". Very nice friends, oh yes, my Precious, very nice.
Hamwise Cameron: Alright, alright - you just startled me is all.
(peering over the cliff's edge)
What were you doing?
Smaygol: (sly) Sneaking!
Too exhausted to argue, HAM turns away.
Hamwise Cameron: Fine, have it your own way.

HAM gently shakes BOJO'S shoulder.

Hamwise (cont'd): Sorry to wake you, Mr Frodo. We have to be moving on.
HAM rummages through his COUNTRY, looking for an electorate to eat.
BOJO sits up slowly.
Bojo Baggins: We're unpopular still.
Ham: We're always unpopular here.

CLOSE ON: HAM stops rummaging . . . SHOCK on his face.

HAM (cont'd): It's gone . . . the Tory mandate!
Bojo Baggins: (alarmed) What? That's all we have left!
Hamwise slowly turns to Smaygol...
HAM (dawning realisation): She took it! She must have!
Smaygol: (shocked) Smaygol? No, no, not poor Smaygol. Smaygol hates nasty Tory mandates
HAM: You're a lying wretch! What did you do with it?
BOJO: She doesn't want it . . . She can't have taken it.

CLOSE ON: Smaygol slaps his hand against HAM'S JACKET . . . sending TORY MANDATE CRUMBS RAINING DOWN!

SMAYGOL: What's this? Tory leadership votes on his jacketses! (fake outrage) He took it! He took it! I seen him, he's always campaigning himself when Master's not looking!
HAM: (angry) That's a filthy lie!
HAM is ENRAGED . . . he throws himself at Smaygol.. punching her!
HAM (cont'd) (yelling) You stinking two-faced sneak! Call me a cheat!
BOJO: (yelling) Ham! Stop it!
BOJO pulls HAM off Smaygol ...
HAM: (yelling) I'll unseat her! I'll unseat her!
BOJO: No, Sam!
BOJO COLLAPSES on the GROUND!

CLOSE ON: HAM'S horrified face!

HAM: Arlight, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for Brexit to go so far, I was so angry . . . Here, let's rest up a bit.
HAM attempts to fuss around BOJO...
BOJO: (exhausted) I'm alright.
HAM: No, no, you're not alright! You're exhausted! It's that Smaygol; it's this place; it's that Tory leadership. I could help a bit . . . I could carry it for a while longer - share the load.

CLOSE ON: A terrible light comes into BOJO'S eyes as he
STARES into the EARNEST eyes of HAM.

BOJO: Get away!
BOJO pushes HAM away, clutching at the LEADERSHIP BID beneath his shirt
HAM: (confused) I don't want to keep it . . . I just want to help!
BOJO rises to his FEET, as if empowered with a frightening intense RHUBARB.
SMAYGOL: See! See! He wants it all for himself.
HAM: (beside himself) Shut up, you! Go away. Get out of here.
CLOSE ON: BOJO...
BOJO: (quietly) No, Ham . . . it's you.
HAM stares at BOJO with DISBELIEF.
BOJO (cont'd) I'm sorry, Ham ...
CLOSE ON: TEARS WELL in HAM'S eyes . . .
HAM: (hopelessly) But . . . she's a liar . . . she's poisoned you against me.
BOJO: You can't help me anymore.
HAM: You don't mean that.
BOJO: (eerie calm) Brexit means Brexit.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2018, 08:35:27 am by Loud Whispers »
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9264 on: December 10, 2018, 08:39:35 am »

Did you just cast Cameron in the role of the hero
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9265 on: December 10, 2018, 08:48:10 am »

Did you just cast Cameron in the role of the hero
I would make everyone going as far back to Blair a member of the Coalition Government of the Ring

Jopax

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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9267 on: December 10, 2018, 09:29:29 am »

Vote’s been cancelled.

Also, European Court of Justice agrees with the dude from last week, UK can unilaterally cancel Brexit.

Labour planning to table no confidence vote instead.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9268 on: December 10, 2018, 09:34:58 am »

Vote’s been cancelled.
A little ways down on that page there was a mid-article link titled Reality Check: Does Brussels blink?.

Only thing is, I blinked, and so I read it instead as Reality Check: Does Brussels exist?

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #9269 on: December 10, 2018, 11:05:34 am »

Vote’s been cancelled.

Also, European Court of Justice agrees with the dude from last week, UK can unilaterally cancel Brexit.

Labour planning to table no confidence vote instead.
Can't wait until the no confidence is won by a significant margin instead. This May be spicy
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