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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1069613 times)

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8475 on: August 14, 2018, 05:15:38 am »

The NHS is beginning to get worried. They are offering relocation bonuses on the order of 30.000GBP to entice people to move.
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8476 on: August 14, 2018, 05:20:49 am »

Norwegian fishing ministry: "Right, so, this law says that you're not allowed to dump your delousing chemicals within 500 meters of natural spawning grounds."

Norwegian fish farming: "Well, I disagree with your interpretation of the law."

Norwegian fishing ministry: "Oh, okay."


So apparently, fish farms have been dumping their chemicals, predominantly hydrogen peroxide, either in close proximity to or in some cases directly inside of wild spawning grounds, resulting in lots of fuckery including large numbers of shrimp, lobster and krill washing up dead on the shore. This has been going on quite some time, and some of the excuses from this (Norwegian) article are pretty hilarious... When asked about some of the dumping, one of the largest fish farming companies, Marine Harvest, simply said "We disagree with the fishing ministry's interpretation of fishing laws", saying that "Spawning grounds" and "Spawning areas" are completely different terms, and that the law only covers grounds specifically. So dumping within spawning areas is fine, until such a time as the law gets changed.

Now, there's a nugget of truth in there, as "Spawning ground" is a specific term used within the scientific field responsible for defining these boundaries... But it's still pretty sleazy to just say "Yeah, you caught us, but we're not changing until you push a new law with different semantics through".

Other excuses from illegal dumpers include: "The law is too confusing to read" and "Well I told the boat not to dump in that area, but they just wouldn't listen! What can ya do?"


No fines or legal actions have been leveled against the dumpers despite in some cases very clearly breaking the law, but apparently there have been a few internal procedure changes that just coincidentally happened to be enacted right after the news agency came snooping around and asking questions.

In a completely unrelated aside, the spokesperson for one of the companies that directly admitted to dumping in illegal zones has recently been elected to the position of Minister of Fisheries.

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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8477 on: August 14, 2018, 05:23:54 am »

Go to a bricklayer for advice on building houses, go to a jeweler on advice on appraising jewels.
And go to a conman for advice on politics?
Only if the conman is also blind

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8478 on: August 14, 2018, 06:15:07 am »

I also do not understand what you mean by "compartmentalise,"

"To make into smaller categories". Does it mean something else?
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8479 on: August 14, 2018, 06:24:55 am »

I also do not understand what you mean by "compartmentalise,"
"To make into smaller categories". Does it mean something else?
I am not confused by the literal meaning, rather by your point

*EDIT
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says British Opposition Leader Jeremy Corbyn deserves unequivocal condemnation for Palestinian wreath laying
*double EDIT
Corbyn hits back, saying Netanyahu deserves unequivocal condemnation for killing dozens of Palestinian kids

Rarely do you see spicy diplomatic crises form between a world leader and an opposition leader of another country
« Last Edit: August 14, 2018, 07:01:50 am by Loud Whispers »
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Rowanas

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8480 on: August 14, 2018, 08:59:09 am »

I have a few significant issues with the IHRA guidelines
- no claiming that any Jew holds Israel or the global jewish diaspora as more important than their home nation.  Apparently you're not allowed to call Jews racist.
- no comparing Jewish actions in Palestine to Nazi actions.  Ok, well if they start gassing the Palestinians or organising death squads, I'ma start comparing them to Nazis.
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Reelya

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8481 on: August 16, 2018, 07:32:10 am »

A more relevant comparison would be between Gaza and the Warsaw Ghetto situation.

Remember, that the main plan was the plan to relocate Jews to Madagascar, and that plan was only shelved by the Nazi high command in 1942 after it was clear they'd lost North Africa. This "let's gas them all" stuff was never pushed forward as the original plan, it creeps up in stages, with earlier poor treatment like the Warsaw Ghetto and the Madagascar Plan eventually escalating into the Final Solution. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madagascar_Plan

So, when someone says (not necessarily about Israel but in general) "but what they're saying/planning/doing isn't as bad as the Nazis", just remember what anybody is saying/planning/doing is never as bad as the Nazis - but "anybody" includes the actual Nazis, who weren't actually "as bad as the Nazis" - until they were. This shit creeps up in stages, so the earlier stages cannot be just dismissed as "not as bad as the Nazis" ... yet.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2018, 07:43:49 am by Reelya »
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8482 on: August 16, 2018, 06:41:30 pm »

Norwegian Fishery Minister (coincidence, eh?) just had a slight whoopsie when he got caught going to Iran on a "spontaneous vacation" along with his Ms. Iran girlfriend and his government work cell phone. The gov't was not notified that he was going to be going to a foreign country.

He's done the usual "Everyone is against me" and "It's a witch hunt" speeches, then stepped down as minister. His girlfriend has announced that he'll be going to work for her company. But before that, he'll have to be put through a quarantine procedure because, y'know... National security breach and all that.


They've also apparently officially announced a book deal about "This whole ordeal we've been through".

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8483 on: August 16, 2018, 06:51:17 pm »

Why is  it relevant that a fishery ministerb(of all things) went to Iran.  Esp if his SO is Iranian

Edit:  apparently the guy was a convicted felon and quite controversial beforehand.  The Iran affair was likely the last drop
« Last Edit: August 16, 2018, 06:55:28 pm by ChairmanPoo »
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Kagus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8484 on: August 16, 2018, 07:10:21 pm »

Basically, he fucked off to a foreign country with not-stellar relations to Norway without informing anyone, while being a person with classified access (he's also basically the second in command for his party), and carrying a phone with a contact list full of other people with classified access, and there's not a whole lot we can do to even figure out if he did sell state secrets to anyone or not.

It's not so much that he specifically did something, as nothing's been proven yet and the investigative department says that it's "Unlikely" he actually did anything particularly nasty... The issue is that he was completely reckless and created a major security risk by just giving zero fucks about anything.


There are also some conspiracy theories surrounding Ms. Iran 2013 Bahareh Letnes, who notably has been very politically active working on Iran-Norway relations and who for some reason owns an import/export company that exports fish and imports "Various things" including natural gas and natural gas accessories, despite being educated as a dental technician... And whether or not she's maybe manipulating the ol' Fishy Minister Per "Looks like a particularly itchy scab" Sandberg for political/economic gain, possibly alongside the Iranian government. But, y'know, nothing proven.

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8485 on: August 16, 2018, 07:12:40 pm »

The gov't was not notified that he was going to be going to a foreign country.

This, presumably

edit: Apparently Kagus snuck in an answer there without me noticing
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8486 on: August 18, 2018, 11:08:49 am »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-45203576

Hatred runs deep, but nevertheless I have repeatedly failed to understand the Irish Catholic hatred and detestation for the poppy.
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Rowanas

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8487 on: August 18, 2018, 11:13:03 am »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-45203576

Hatred runs deep, but nevertheless I have repeatedly failed to understand the Irish Catholic hatred and detestation for the poppy.

The continuing dickery of certain Irish elements brings shame on Britain.
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8488 on: August 18, 2018, 12:41:18 pm »

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-45203576

Hatred runs deep, but nevertheless I have repeatedly failed to understand the Irish Catholic hatred and detestation for the poppy.

While I’m loathe to use irony to address a point, it couldn’t possibly be that it’s a symbol celebrating the British military, and they don’t particularly like the British military as a result of things like the Military Reaction Force or the Falls Curfew.

Nah, nothing as simple as thinking that people that were supposed to protect you treat you like shit and loot your house or anything like that.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #8489 on: August 18, 2018, 12:51:30 pm »

This line of discusion is going to get ugly fast. Just saying.
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