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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1106913 times)

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7500 on: January 23, 2018, 11:35:06 pm »

The Dutch Financial Market Authority (AFM) presented it's 2018 report today. In it, it advises the government to forbid risky foreign investment products, like cryptovaluta.
They further compare bitcoins and other modern means of investment to gambling and gaming, and say this is an unwanted development.

I guess bitcoins will be banned soon here. Or at least, fall under gambling laws, meaning you'll have to pay 50% tax over transactions where you turn bitcoins into real valuta.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2018, 11:37:16 pm by martinuzz »
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7501 on: January 24, 2018, 03:06:57 am »

Will that applies to the tokens issued in ICOs?
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7502 on: January 24, 2018, 04:31:46 am »

Probably, yes, since ICOs use cryptocurrencies as well.

What's interesting is that they would like a ban on binary options as well, because they resemble gambling too much, and a ban on mobile phone investment apps, because they make investing look like a game, while it should be serious business.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2018, 04:37:10 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7503 on: January 24, 2018, 05:42:37 am »

I can see the rationale behind banning binary options or treating them as gambling, in the sense that they're not really investments at all. It's a shame for ICOs though, they seems like a financial innovation that could play a real role, even if the entire ICO market is kinda bubbly right now.
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Imic

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7504 on: January 24, 2018, 06:59:40 am »

I'm in Munster.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7505 on: January 24, 2018, 07:57:26 am »

I can see the rationale behind banning binary options or treating them as gambling, in the sense that they're not really investments at all.
Because binary trading is in fact gambling. Unless inside inormation is used, in which case it is a crime to begin with.
It's widely compared to the roulette of the investment world, even before the AFM report, because of it's all or nothing character.
You basically gamble on a stock rising or falling. If you guessed right, you win say, +80% of you investment, if you guessed wrong, you lose 100%.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Silverthrone

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7506 on: January 24, 2018, 09:45:25 am »

Meanwhile, in Denmark, the trial of Peter Madsen is about to begin, on the 8th of March. The charges have been announced, as pre-mediated and prepared murder, improper handling of a corpse and sexual assault. The case has become a quite horrifying affair.

Sit-Rep:
Peter Madsen is (well, was) an engineer-entrepeneur. One of his creations is the private submarine UC3 Nautilus. Last summer, on the 10th of August, journalist Kim Wall boarded this submarine on an intended interview of Madsen, and a tour of the Öresund. They embarked 19:00 in the evening, and would disembark at Bornholm island, at about 14:00 the following day. That was the last time she was seen alive.
The vessel later sunk of the Danish coast, at eleven in the following morning. Madsen was rescued by a nearby vessel, but Ms. Wall was nowhere to be seen. He claimed that she had disembarked in Copenhagen at 22:30 the night before. The Danish police, however, thought that something was decidedly off, and detained him. Ms. Wall could not be found.
Then, on August the 23rd, a torso washed ashore. It was identified as belonging to Ms. Wall. It had been weighted down, and punctured. Madsen is thus held on suspicion of improper treatment of human remains, and suspicion of murder. Navy divers searches the area and recovers further body-parts, Ms. Wall's clothes and a knife and a saw.

What he has claimed:
After the assertion that she disembarked in Copenhagen proved false, he later claimed that an accident had occured while at sea; at one point, a heavy hatch had fallen down on her head while she was ascending a ladder. It does not hold when examined against the evidence. He claims to have, once he discovered that she had been killed, 'buried her at sea' (as he put it), and later, the vessel sank due to a technical malfunction.
There was also, briefly, a report out that Madsen had claimed that Ms. Wall had died due to suffocation when carbon monoxied gas exhaust entered the vessel while he was on deck. However, his legal defence denies this, and maintains now that he does not know how she died.

The physical evidence:
The sunken submarine was later discovered, salvaged and analysed. Foremost, it disproves that it sunk by technical fault, but was scuttled intentionally. Further, it contained blood and hair samples, and a pair of women's underwear. The bodyparts has further disproved Madsen's claims. Ms. Wall's remains shows no injuries that would correspond with deadly head trauma, which makes the hatch cover fairy-tale impossible. There are stab wounds, either connected to her death or (if regarded generously towards Madsen) inflicted shorty afterwards.
There are also details of evidence that has currently not been released for public knowledge, but one can infer that they strengthen the prosecution greatly. Some, I imagine, are simply too frightening to release lightly. There is, of course, another over-arching inference one can make, and that is simply that dismembering and dumping the body at sea is a very peculiar way to react to the accidental death of a passenger.

However, on further investigation, the case turns horrifying.
An earlier line of inquiry, once his claims of accidental death had proven shaky, was that he may had lost his temper and gone violent after an inopportune question during the interview. However, while it is quite possible to murder someone in an act of fury, it is very unusual to then be able to dismember the corpse. In most cases, dismemberment and dumping of bodies suggest pre-planning, and a certain state of mind. It is not the common reaction of someone distraught at an accidental death.
Further, some of the stab wounds from the recovered body are of a violent, sexual nature, and that is further re-inforced when compared to some of the material seized from Madsen's computer, which concerns violent pornography, beheadings, and other depictions of brutality for enjoyment. He has further been witnessed consuming such things before. It paints a dark picture of his personality.
In brief, the prosecution claims that Madsen spirited Ms. Wall away, with the intention of torturing, killing and dumping her at sea, and that he did so, somewhere between 19:00 on the 10th of August, and 10:30 the following day.
The main question for the court, at present, is effectively if Madsen had invited Ms. Wall with the intention to play at Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea meets Girl With the Dragon Tattoo from the beginning, or if that idea developed during the trip. The prosecution is leaning towards the former, and appears to believe itself sufficiently equipped to prove it. From it, one can infer that they have likely secured equipment Madsen brought to that end.

Good Lord... This is a time when one sets aside the findings, and must take a deep breath. I cannot even begin to imagine how it must have been for the investigators, disentangling this horrid event, and trying to build a picture of this terrifying man. The perspectives that unfold when one imagines the case are beyond all nightmares in the world. Indeed, I can understand why specific details are withheld from the public, for merely cataloguing this summary has been a frightful business.
Luckily for justice, Madsen's schemes to escape has been frustrated at every turn. The body and the submarine have been recovered, and can be analysed to disprove his claims, and taken with the circumstantial evidence, helps build a very strong case against him. Indeed, it is quite difficult to believe how he could possibly have invisioned himself getting away with it.

At present, it seems that life imprisonment is the only possible outcome of the case for Madsen. Since the gallows are out of the question, that is the best possible conclusion one could hope for. That man appears to be a very nasty piece of work, indeed, and one can only hope that he will be in safe containment, far away from the public, for the rest of his life.
Naturally, since the trial is yet to begin, and Madsen is yet to be proven guilty in court, he must be afforded a chance of innocence. But I must say that if, by some extra-ordinary co-incidence, he is indeed innocent, then I shall eat my keyboard.

(Why the EU thread? Well, it has developed into a general Western Europe news area, and this particular case has had some international interest before.)
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7507 on: January 24, 2018, 10:29:01 am »

Better start looking to see if anyone else has gone missing in the vicinity of the Submariner Murderer

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7508 on: January 24, 2018, 10:34:47 am »

Hey, Danemark is still in the EU, no matter how hard they try to impose blockades on the hordes of german motorists. :p
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TD1

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7509 on: January 24, 2018, 10:50:03 am »

So, the idea is that he raped her (I'm guessing it was more than a hand on the knee, such as some celebrities have been villified for) in a sexual fantasy situation, then tore her body apart and dumped it in the sea? And it was probably premeditated?

Did he just assume money and renown would just make it all go away? Wth.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7510 on: January 24, 2018, 11:01:29 am »

So, the idea is that he raped her (I'm guessing it was more than a hand on the knee, such as some celebrities have been villified for) in a sexual fantasy situation, then tore her body apart and dumped it in the sea? And it was probably premeditated?

Did he just assume money and renown would just make it all go away? Wth.

Or that the body parts wouldn't be found...
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7511 on: January 24, 2018, 11:08:03 am »

So, the idea is that he raped her (I'm guessing it was more than a hand on the knee, such as some celebrities have been villified for) in a sexual fantasy situation, then tore her body apart and dumped it in the sea? And it was probably premeditated?

Did he just assume money and renown would just make it all go away? Wth.

Or that the body parts wouldn't be found...

Maybe he thought they'd be eaten by sealife before they got found.

Anyways, a bit of interesting German politics news from another forum that I thought interesting to share:
"In other news Arthur Wagner one of the leaders of the AfD ( Alternative for Germany) party has made news by converting to Islam. AfD is the group that said "Islam doesn’t belong in Germany. We see the ideology of multiculturalism as a serious threat to societal peace and cultural unity.” and Wagner himself accused Merkel of "mutating" the country by allowing in Muslim refugees. https://www.thelocal.de/20180124/leading-member-of-far-right-afd-in-brandenburg-converts-to-islam


I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. [:lol:] "
« Last Edit: January 24, 2018, 11:11:13 am by smjjames »
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Silverthrone

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7512 on: January 24, 2018, 11:36:55 am »

So, the idea is that he raped her (I'm guessing it was more than a hand on the knee, such as some celebrities have been villified for) in a sexual fantasy situation, then tore her body apart and dumped it in the sea? And it was probably premeditated?

Did he just assume money and renown would just make it all go away? Wth.

Yes, that is the prosecution's line of inquiry, and they appear well equipped to prove it to the court. But indeed, one wonders how he had thought he would escape.

It could be that his opinion of the victim and of the police were simply that low that he could not envisage an investigation of this depth leveled against him. That they would accept his account and not investigate the case any futher. Perhaps there were a more elaborate plan in the works that failed to fire properly, and he had to lie together a plan B. As noted, he have most likely counted on the remains not being recovered, nor that they would bother to salvage the submarine.
That is odd, however, since the applicable area of the Öresund is not a difficult place to search. It is a large area, but it is mostly shallow and fairly calm during the summer. It is not very difficult, not with the very capable frogman corps of the Royal Danish Navy involved. Of course, the case was very much helped by the fact that the police smelled the proverbial rat at once, and detained him and began with a commendable piece of policework from the very start of the investigation.

Better start looking to see if anyone else has gone missing in the vicinity of the Submariner Murderer

I believe that they have done so. Nothing conclusive as of yet, and one hopes that he has not killed any more. Of course, the trial continues.

As for the... Frankly, quite baffling news from Germany and Mr. Wagner, well, one wonders. Very peculiar...
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7513 on: January 24, 2018, 12:17:38 pm »

Öresund

Fun fact: Öresund means Earsound

And yes the whole crime is a very horrible, weird and interesting history. i have absolutely no idea how he though any of this or his ridiculous excuses would work. There was literally a period of time when he had admitted that she had died aboard and that he had sunk her into the sea, but not that she had been dismembered by him, as if she somehow could've spontaneously de-limbed at some point in the water.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #7514 on: January 24, 2018, 12:18:59 pm »

So do they think he sunk the submarine intentionally?
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