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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1006733 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6630 on: September 02, 2017, 12:30:06 pm »

You had fairly strong political support for a political federation ("united state of Europe") from day one. In some ways, it seems those ideas were more poular then than now, a Federal Europe was very much in the post-war Zeitgeist. I mean, even during the War there was an official proposal to merge France and the UK into a single country.
And you talk of historical revisionism. The proposed Franco-British Union was proposed under the auspices of France entering the Commonwealth, not a European Union, and needless to say the French would have put their Prime Minister under the chopping block if they knew what their PM was proposing ;]

In addition, the "ever closer union" has been a thing since the 1983 Solemn Declaration of the European Union, 10 years even before the Single Market. Pretending the political union was snuck in is historical revisionism.
Because having one narrative for the elites and one for the people is a clear display of honest intent. inb4 holding repeated referendums until the people stop voting against integration is fake history because EU says so

Now, to make things clearer to our Americans reader, we actually have something approaching a "Upper House" in the European Council (not to be mixed with the Council of the European Union, or worse, the Council of Europe. Isn't  Europe fun? :p ).
I once tried explaining to someone the differences between the counties, boroughs, cities within cities and countries within countries within the UK, and they said such a system sounded like it was designed deliberately to confuse anyone so only dickhead politicians knew how things operated. I agreed in so far as that was probably how things were done, but it was more a result of a long continuous history, rather than intelligent design over the milennia. The EU is young though, it is obtuse by design

The European Council is made of the relevant minister from each of the government (so if it's an agricultural rule, it'll be the agriculture ministers and so on) and they also vote on EU law. In addition, for a lot of matter (migration, EU taxation, new country joining the  EU, EU citizenship and some others) the council vote need to be unanimous, so every country got a veto.
Nah qualified majority is all that is needed, they changed it to stop the eastern europeans and britons vetoing anything

In addition to that, seats in the European Parliament are also skewed so that smaller states get a higher share than their population alone would warrant, with a mimum of 6 seats each (out of 750). So Malta acount for 0.8% of seats but 0.08% of the population, while Germany account for 15.97 percent of the population but 12.8% of seats. (The cutting point is between Poland (38 millions inhabitants) and Romania (19 millions inhabitant): the bigger six countries are underrepresented, the bottom 22 are overrepresented). Now, here I disagree with Helgoland in that I think that when looking at the raw "number of votes per seat", he ignores other aspect of the power dynamic. Basically, no one is going to ignore the Germans, even if their vote is individually worth less than that of the Maltese. In that sense, the German electorate is more powerful than the number alone suggest. On the other hand, if seat were attributed proportionally, would EU party even bother to campaign in Malta?
Here I disagree with both of you because the European Parliament is entirely meaningless except for funding MEPs with recieptless expenses and dank holidays at European expense; it proposes fuck all laws and cannot propose laws, that being done by the Commissioners who are sworn to represent the EU and not the nation states they belong to. Hence why the EU's real power does not lie in Malta, but in the big 5 of France, Germany, Italy, UK & Spain who together contributed over half of the EU budget and so subsequently were far more influential than any other European nation within the EU.

I find it funny that Scriver keeps complaining about the discrimination of Sweden when northern and centroEuropean countries consistently act in block in their own interest, regardless of size.
And they never gib eurovision votes

As a south European I very much feel like a second class citizen, and that's without even getting into the Greek mess and the attitude from people (even here!) In the north. I've often seen posts here in which people express the feeling that 'suits them right'.  Even though in no small measure this mess was cooked by the same supranational actors that are imposing austerity across Europe. Even though austerity measures are clearly not working (did you know that they needed another bailout recently? Turns out shaking them down for cash is not ideal for economic growth).   Nevermind that Greek citizens are actually dying because the cuts are crushing the Greek healthcare system. And you talk to me about sheeps and wolves?
I loved it when people were saying the Greeks deserved it because they were lazy, it really showed the true colours of those speaking it. European solidarity in the Union at its finest

Seriously, Sweeden doesn't have the short end of the stick by any measure.
Ignoring the material collapse of its state, rule of law, defence via leaks and so on, Sweden is kill. Once your people are fucked in the head and demographics that hard, you can't really unfuck that lol. And in terms of numbers sure Sweden doesn't have it worse, but in terms of relative proportion - oh boy, they dug that grave deep
Quote
Had a transparent and dynamic public discussion been taking place in Sweden during the past months — a discussion that acknowledged both the need for human solidarity and the limitations of the country’s infrastructure — a more sustainable immigration policy might have emerged. Instead, it seems ill-fated policies will not be altered until the country brings itself to the brink of collapse.
Peak leftism
I thought the UK was bad with our leftists still covering up the whole rape gangs but imagine a whole nation of those, not just one party. The mind recoils at the reality Sweden forged

You don't have the short end of the stick with immigration, either. Mass waves of immigrants from Africa have been arriving at Southern European countries for decades, now all of a sudden everyone are losing their minds about this, one way or the other. It seems to me that it's just that up there you didn't care as long as it was someone else's problem.
Sweden does not have the Navy needed to actually curtail any such migration and the Swedish mindset was that Southern Europe was not dealing with a problem; but were in fact dealing with a positive force of cultural enrichment and thus migration should've been encouraged more. So it's an unfair criticism to say Sweden was uncaring, their actions were motivated by altruism

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6631 on: September 02, 2017, 12:39:55 pm »

You don't have the short end of the stick with immigration, either. Mass waves of immigrants from Africa have been arriving at Southern European countries for decades, now all of a sudden everyone are losing their minds about this, one way or the other. It seems to me that it's just that up there you didn't care as long as it was someone else's problem.
Sweden does not have the Navy needed to actually curtail any such migration and the Swedish mindset was that Southern Europe was not dealing with a problem; but were in fact dealing with a positive force of cultural enrichment and thus migration should've been encouraged more. So it's an unfair criticism to say Sweden was uncaring, their actions were motivated by altruism

Comparing the UK and Swedish navy and saying that Sweden doesn't have the navy to prevent migration isn't a very fair comparison. After all, Sweden isn't an island.

Unless you meant Spain, but the same argument of 'not an island' still applies. A navy oesn't stop migrants from coming on on planes either.
« Last Edit: September 02, 2017, 12:48:26 pm by smjjames »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6632 on: September 02, 2017, 12:56:37 pm »

Comparing the UK and Swedish navy and saying that Sweden doesn't have the navy to prevent migration isn't a very fair comparison. After all, Sweden isn't an island.
I agree, it isn't a very fair comparison - I was just saying that it's unfair to say Sweden didn't care about southern European states dealing with mass migration when Sweden didn't have the capacity to stop it nor saw it negatively. I will say this though, Sweden may not be an island but with exception of its Scandinavian neighbours, most of all Sweden's interactions with the rest of Europe is by sea - Sweden has tons of pressure into developing its neighbour (even without Russian naval presence Sweden would have a lot to protect by sea), and while its Navy is not what it once was, it still has the potential to build a bretty nice Baltic fleet if it wants. Norway and Sweden are like honorary islands, in that they can reach Europe by land but it's a bit of a hassle

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6633 on: September 03, 2017, 11:49:29 am »

A member of French president Macron's party has been charged with causing grieveous injury.
Last week he assaulted a socialist politician with his bike helmet. The victim was taken to hospital in a coma, had brain surgery, and is still having trouble speaking.

According to M'jid el Guerrab, who is the chosen representative for French living in the Magreb and in Africa, Boris Faure, the secretary for French living abroad for the Parti Socialiste, grabbed his wrist and called him "sale Arabe de merde" (= dirty arab of shit). He also claims that Faure had already been harassing them for a year, and even threatened him with death.

Faure's lawyer says this is not true. Faure would only have talked with him about his 'political death', and has filed libel charges next to the grieveous assault charges.

El Guerrab has put down all his public functions, and will have to appear at the office of the president's party to account for his actions there as well.
It is expected that at the very least, this will be the end of his political career.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6634 on: September 03, 2017, 11:54:59 am »

Grievous injury.... palpable fear....
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6635 on: September 03, 2017, 11:57:56 am »

Guerrab = Guerra Arab?
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6636 on: September 04, 2017, 01:02:54 pm »

You had fairly strong political support for a political federation ("united state of Europe") from day one. In some ways, it seems those ideas were more poular then than now, a Federal Europe was very much in the post-war Zeitgeist. I mean, even during the War there was an official proposal to merge France and the UK into a single country.
And you talk of historical revisionism. The proposed Franco-British Union was proposed under the auspices of France entering the Commonwealth, not a European Union, and needless to say the French would have put their Prime Minister under the chopping block if they knew what their PM was proposing ;]

Agreed that the Franco-British union was a special case, as most agree it was mostly a way to shore up French morale, but it was even more integrated than the EU and not just French joining the Commowealth. Even so, it does speak volume that such a move was even considered (And it also speaks volume that several French minister opposed it, preferring to capitulate to the Nazis :p ).


Quote
In addition, the "ever closer union" has been a thing since the 1983 Solemn Declaration of the European Union, 10 years even before the Single Market. Pretending the political union was snuck in is historical revisionism.
Because having one narrative for the elites and one for the people is a clear display of honest intent. inb4 holding repeated referendums until the people stop voting against integration is fake history because EU says so

I don't really see how the shenanigans around the Lisbon treaty have anything to do with the fact that the political goal of "ever closer union" was always clearly announced, and not something snuck in.

Quote
Now, to make things clearer to our Americans reader, we actually have something approaching a "Upper House" in the European Council (not to be mixed with the Council of the European Union, or worse, the Council of Europe. Isn't  Europe fun? :p ).
I once tried explaining to someone the differences between the counties, boroughs, cities within cities and countries within countries within the UK, and they said such a system sounded like it was designed deliberately to confuse anyone so only dickhead politicians knew how things operated. I agreed in so far as that was probably how things were done, but it was more a result of a long continuous history, rather than intelligent design over the milennia. The EU is young though, it is obtuse by design

TBF, the council of Europe isn't the EU's fault. Also, hilariously, I did mess up the European Council and the Council of the European union in my explanation.

Quote
The European Council is made of the relevant minister from each of the government (so if it's an agricultural rule, it'll be the agriculture ministers and so on) and they also vote on EU law. In addition, for a lot of matter (migration, EU taxation, new country joining the  EU, EU citizenship and some others) the council vote need to be unanimous, so every country got a veto.
Nah qualified majority is all that is needed, they changed it to stop the eastern europeans and britons vetoing anything

It's QMV for a lot of things (Usually 55% of countries), but it has to be unanimous for the matter I cited. It should also noted that even though unanimity isn't required, the culture of the council means it is achieved in virtually all decisions: all realize that the entire project would collapse quickly otherwise.

Quote
]Here I disagree with both of you because the European Parliament is entirely meaningless except for funding MEPs with recieptless expenses and dank holidays at European expense; it proposes fuck all laws and cannot propose laws, that being done by the Commissioners who are sworn to represent the EU and not the nation states they belong to. Hence why the EU's real power does not lie in Malta, but in the big 5 of France, Germany, Italy, UK & Spain who together contributed over half of the EU budget and so subsequently were far more influential than any other European nation within the EU.

Well, mate, why bother talking in a discussion which was about the proposal of creating a EU-wide EP circonscription then?
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6637 on: September 04, 2017, 04:00:38 pm »

Agreed that the Franco-British union was a special case, as most agree it was mostly a way to shore up French morale, but it was even more integrated than the EU and not just French joining the Commowealth. Even so, it does speak volume that such a move was even considered (And it also speaks volume that several French minister opposed it, preferring to capitulate to the Nazis :p ).
One of the funnier things I read was that were it not for WWI, a proto-European Union might've been in the making owing to the USA soon to go omfgwtfbbq in economic terms. That, or WWI would've looked a lot weirder

I don't really see how the shenanigans around the Lisbon treaty have anything to do with the fact that the political goal of "ever closer union" was always clearly announced, and not something snuck in.
For the very simple reason that the in achieving the goal, the functions with which to complete it are snuck in whenever anyone opposes ;P

TBF, the council of Europe isn't the EU's fault. Also, hilariously, I did mess up the European Council and the Council of the European union in my explanation.
I was gonna comment about how it is their fault but this is all just proves how the EU needs to spend millions on a minister of appropriate naming and a sheriff of laconic effectiveness

Well, mate, why bother talking in a discussion which was about the proposal of creating a EU-wide EP circonscription then?
Just like the UK I'd like to join the discussion with none of the obligations. Besides top bants

Also seriously who attacks someone with such ironic weapons? Dick move putting someone in a coma with a helmet

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6638 on: September 04, 2017, 04:06:42 pm »

As a citizen of Europe's dick, I would like it if we could please keep European circumcision to a minimum.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6639 on: September 05, 2017, 01:41:55 am »

As a citizen of Europe's dick, I would like it if we could please keep European circumcision to a minimum.

Would that mean removing Norway?
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Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6640 on: September 05, 2017, 10:50:23 am »

I will advise all pregnant Jewish ladies to stay far, far away from you.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6641 on: September 07, 2017, 03:39:50 pm »

As a citizen of Europe's dick, I would like it if we could please keep European circumcision to a minimum.
Would that mean removing Norway?
Nah, just the tip of Denmark

Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6642 on: September 07, 2017, 07:19:45 pm »

Naah, the tip of Sweden. Denmark's the cum.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6643 on: September 08, 2017, 04:27:53 am »

Naah, the tip of Sweden. Denmark's the cum.

And what's Germany? Sasha Grey's face?
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Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6644 on: September 08, 2017, 04:37:29 am »

That would make Belgium her pimple. Are you sure you have thought this through?
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.
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