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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1006700 times)

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5550 on: April 24, 2017, 02:17:27 am »

"Its over Jean Marie! I have the high ground!"
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5551 on: April 24, 2017, 05:14:50 am »

Macron-Le Pen second round. It's good to know that Europe Continental still is sane. Macron will win the second round - he has a 20+ percent lead on Le Pen. This spells very good news for the EU, and could possibly be the start on a road to proper federalization of the Union, which will produce the economically strongest entity on the planet.

I can't wait to see the glorious new age of Europe to shine upon us.

He probably will, but I wouldn't feel super confident either. A 90% chance to win is a 10% chance to see the Union die.

Also of note is the question of what will happen in five years. Will Macron manage to stem the feeling of pessimism in France enough to avoid a potential Frontist victory in 2022?
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5552 on: April 24, 2017, 05:42:08 am »

If Macron wins, that may do the hard work. It's hard to say how the new, improved, less holocaust denial National Front would handle a major loss. It could be seen as having always been a likelihood and just one more unpleasant step on their inevitable permanent takeover of France, or proof to the political disaffected that the Front really are unelectable kooks and that they should just go back to pretending to be ardent communists now.

Alternatively, the Front could win and fail to govern, again prompting this crisis.

Guess we'll see what the data brings on election day.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5553 on: April 24, 2017, 06:07:57 am »

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/ukip-candidate-gisela-allen-glasgow-council-bring-back-death-penalty-abolish-lgbt-communities-a7696651.html
UKIP chose someone for Glasgow that seems to be a little bit... I hesitate to use the term unhinged, but...
Apparently she also said that gorillas make her hormones go crazy (in an attempt to say "Gay people shouldn't talk about their sex lives), so either she's using some insane hyperbole there, or she's into bestiality.
Shabani has a big fanbase for being the world's most handsome gorilla

Macron-Le Pen second round. It's good to know that Europe Continental still is sane. Macron will win the second round - he has a 20+ percent lead on Le Pen. This spells very good news for the EU, and could possibly be the start on a road to proper federalization of the Union, which will produce the economically strongest entity on the planet.
I can't wait to see the glorious new age of Europe to shine upon us.
Tbh what is the difference between the last two big surprises when the side that was "supposed to win" found out it didn't? Complacency kills you, being in of itself a form of arrogance - "Your armies are like grains of sand, ours like the ocean, why would we fear you?" Said the Emperor, to the Mongols

I'm not confident in calling it until Kingmaker Mélenchon moves one way or another

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5554 on: April 24, 2017, 06:23:34 am »

Melenchon voters wont vote le pen
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5555 on: April 24, 2017, 06:39:52 am »

Melenchon voters wont vote le pen
That is one possibility

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5556 on: April 24, 2017, 06:40:49 am »

Tbh what is the difference between the last two big surprises when the side that was "supposed to win" found out it didn't? Complacency kills you, being in of itself a form of arrogance - "Your armies are like grains of sand, ours like the ocean, why would we fear you?" Said the Emperor, to the Mongols

I'm not confident in calling it until Kingmaker Mélenchon moves one way or another

Well, the polls predicted the popular vote for Clinton to within a fraction of a percentage point, and showed Brexit and Brenotretarded (I kid) as head-to-head. On the other hand, they're giving a 20% win to Macron. (And in case you think French pollsters sucks exceptionnaly, they predicted the first round pretty accurately).


If Macron wins, that may do the hard work. It's hard to say how the new, improved, less holocaust denial National Front would handle a major loss. It could be seen as having always been a likelihood and just one more unpleasant step on their inevitable permanent takeover of France, or proof to the political disaffected that the Front really are unelectable kooks and that they should just go back to pretending to be ardent communists now.

Alternatively, the Front could win and fail to govern, again prompting this crisis.

Guess we'll see what the data brings on election day.

Well, the "reformed" Front is not new either. Marine has been doing that for a while, and her voters didn't just give up in 2012. Granted, the process has been going on (notably how she kicked her dad out of the party in 2015) but the FN is still making progress: Le Pen picked up 1.2 millions more voters. That and the fact that pretty much all the others parties are in various stage of implosion help (It's worth keeping in mind that both Le Pen and Macron did worse than the two front-runners of 2012).

Maybe more interesting than what's happening to Le Pen is what's happening on the Left. The PS imploded, going from 10 millions votes to 2.2 millions now. In the meantime, Mélenchon doubled his votes, to above 7 millions. I think there is a real possibility of a rearrangement on the left and of the death of the PS.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2017, 09:01:12 am by Sheb »
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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5557 on: April 24, 2017, 07:31:21 am »

Macron-Le Pen second round. It's good to know that Europe Continental still is sane. Macron will win the second round - he has a 20+ percent lead on Le Pen. This spells very good news for the EU, and could possibly be the start on a road to proper federalization of the Union, which will produce the economically strongest entity on the planet.

I can't wait to see the glorious new age of Europe to shine upon us.

He probably will, but I wouldn't feel super confident either. A 90% chance to win is a 10% chance to see the Union die.
It's 100% all but guaranteed at this point. 20% disparity in votes cannot be nullified by a random error or fluke, and there's really nothing Le Pen can do to bridge that gap even to 10%, which is still more than twice the maximum possible polling error.

This is not USA, where you can win the election while losing the popular votes and where 10 000 people can decide who lead the country by being in the right place. And neither is it 1930s Germany, where a candidate winning ~30% of the votes won the overall election in the highly divided field.

France is a proper, actual, real democracy, where all votes are equal, and where you absolutely cannot win unless you convince more than half of voting population that you're the one who should lead their country.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5558 on: April 24, 2017, 07:38:49 am »

Well, the polls predicted the popular vote for Clinton to within a fraction of a percentage point, and showed Brexit and Brenotretarded (I kid) as head-to-head.
They showed Remain having a victory 52-48 and Clinton painting the USA blue, when in reality Leave won 52-48 and Clinton lost the swing states and even Democrat strongholds.

On the other hand, they're giving a 20% win to Macron. (And in case you think French pollsters sucks exceptionnaly, they predicted the first round pretty accurately).
I don't think French pollsters suck exceptionally, I just find it foolish to buy into the sort of strategizing that ignores their own eyes and reason in favour of the assumptions predicated on polls. Analyzing data and identifying key demographics, targeting demographics with online ads likely to motivate the desired voters to mobilize at the ballots, demoralizing opposing demographics into believing their situation is hopeless - if there is an argument to be made that is is a very insincere way to conduct a democracy, I won't make it, as I don't know what makes an authentic democracy. I do know however that to be successful one must accommodate for and prepare for all outcomes, rejecting the most obvious ways your candidate can lose as even being possible on account of polling is absurdly risky, especially since pollsters only have access to one piece of information: How their respondents claim they intend to vote. Issues of voters being embarrassed to endorse a position upper-society looks down upon, issues of pollsters inflating or deflating genuine support on the belief that it should be more or less to accommodate for this, issues of pollsters not polling a representative audience - all these affect accuracy. Nevertheless, if polls were 100% accurate and 100% reliable for each moment in time they were taken, times change, and with it people's intentions. What is more surprising is that knowing this, people learned from Trump or Brexit not that one should act on the assumption that polls are not always 100% precise truth, but instead continued on course as normal. While David Cameron was talking about how he intended to heal a divided country upon his victory, his opponents were busy campaigning. While Clinton was talking about how Trump should not respond to his defeat violently, he was busy campaigning in states her campaign believed were safe Democrat seats. In the UK, in 2015, our parties ran into the exact same issue - they assumed that certain seats were "safe seats" because the people "always" voted for them, therefore they would again - only to be surprised, finding the polls were not entirely accurate.

Tl;dr, "because something hasn't ever happened, it won't happen" - is flawed thinking. We see today not just in past "surprises," but even today, wherein France will either have its youngest or first female President, both political outsiders from a system designed to keep them out. The unthinkable is subjective and personal, for others it is being planned for everyday. There is danger in simply assuming Macron has won because he's favoured to win, when Marine Le Pen has previous experience in Presidential campaigning and is capable of mobilizing her supporters in the lower-class areas of France in which her opponents cannot, hence why Macron should be trying to get the endorsement of Melenchon. Never say you have finished your job until you have finished it, and God knows people are asking what happens if Marine wins. If Macron has already won, I think it is more interesting to ask what happens after his victory. French concerns with mass migration taking away their identity, exposing them to the security risks of Nice and Paris, the death of their industries at the hands of wealthy financiers imposing free trade and open borders, all concerns that will have to be handled by an anti-nationalist Rothschild Investment banker who is pro-open borders, pro-EU and says France has no culture, whose support is based around a fear of Le Pen more than a love for Macron, especially given Macron's history in Hollande's government spent reducing corporate tax rates and Union rights.
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In the queue to see Macron were lawyers, PR consultants, graphic designers; students, gay couples and middle-class Parisians of multiple ethnicities. These are the representatives of a cosmopolitan, successful France. It was hard not to be reminded of the “metropolitan elite” who voted against Brexit.
Macron has called for investment in poorer communities, and his campaign staff pointedly invited onstage a struggling single mother as a warm-up act that night.
Yet his Socialist rival, Benoit Hamon, accuses him of representing only those who are doing pretty well already. It is hard for some to disassociate Macron from his education at the Ecole Nationale d’Administration – university of choice for the political elite – and his career at Rothschild. One infamous incident from early in the campaign sticks in the memory, when he told a pair of workers on strike: “You don’t scare me with your t-shirts. The best way to pay for a suit is to work.” For Macron, work has usually involved wearing a tie.
IFOP figures show him beating Le Pen soundly in when it comes to the voting intentions of executives and managers – 37 per cent to her 18 per cent. But when it comes to manual workers, she takes a hefty 44 per cent to his 17. He would take Paris; she fares better in rural areas and among the unemployed.
If Frédéric Dabi is to be believed, Macron’s bid for the centre-ground could pay off handsomely. But not everyone is convinced.
“He’s the perfect representative of the electorate in the big globalised cities,” the geographer Christophe Guilluy told Le Point magazine in January.
“But it’s the peripheries of France that will decide this presidential election.”
Marx and Machiavelli were right, in that the powerful ultimately derive their power from their people. I'm intrigued by what spiciness shall ensue post-victory of whoever, and am somewhat saddened by my poor grasp of French.

It's 100% all but guaranteed at this point.
The complacency sets in

France is a proper, actual, real democracy, where all votes are equal, and where you absolutely cannot win unless you convince more than half of voting population that you're the one who should lead their country.
This is what makes an authentic democracy?

*EDIT
An EU related joke:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 24, 2017, 07:52:16 am by Loud Whispers »
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5559 on: April 24, 2017, 08:01:58 am »

That sure was a lot of words to say "if brexit can do it with 4%, Le Pen is basically guaranteed  to get the extra  16% down pat."
 I don't think an upset for France five times the size of brexit is likely this time, and her internet meme magic isn't nearly as strong as trumps'.

On the other hand, 2017 might still only be warming up the kek machines
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5560 on: April 24, 2017, 08:09:47 am »

Didn't all the losers from the first round endorse Macron?
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TempAcc

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5561 on: April 24, 2017, 08:11:49 am »

This election will finally decide if France is really only an extention of Paris, or if there's more to France than just fancy frivolous things, postcards and somalian hobos.

There is magic in the air, ladies.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5562 on: April 24, 2017, 08:16:50 am »

Didn't all the losers from the first round endorse Macron?

The two from the establishment parties, yeah, don't know if the rest of them did.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5563 on: April 24, 2017, 08:19:25 am »

That sure was a lot of words to say "if brexit can do it with 4%, Le Pen is basically guaranteed  to get the extra  16% down pat."
Are you trying to start a quarrel? I've not known you to be one who places b8

I don't think an upset for France five times the size of brexit is likely this time
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Tl;dr, "because something hasn't ever happened, it won't happen" - is flawed thinking.
Before declaring victory, win. How many times will people need to get upset before they learn to stop being complacent and actually win first? Who are we to claim absolute destiny, to claim 100% guaranteed victory? None of us are prophets or seers who can say that, which if you did the courtesy of reading my post before criticizing it, would have been nice. That may be too much to ask for you, thus I leave you with a tl;dr, it was a lot of words to say "don't count your chickens before they have hatched."

TempAcc

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5564 on: April 24, 2017, 08:21:05 am »

I'd very surprised if both Fillon and Mechelon bases endorsed Macron, given Fillon's voterbase is composed largerly of older christian people who believe in family values and are very disgruntled at all the islamic terrorism going on and Mechelon's base being made up largely of euroskeptics (Macron is the most pro-EU of all the candidates, with Mechelon following Le Pen closely on euroskepticism), and a Macron France is a France that will never see a Frexit referendum, plus Mechelon's base doesnt seem very fond of globalism, which Macron is the poster boy for. If Le Pen's campaigners can reach out of these voterbases, then she will have a serious chance of winning.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2017, 08:27:48 am by TempAcc »
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