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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1006658 times)

Frumple

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5430 on: April 12, 2017, 12:20:22 am »

No, no, or pretty sure there can be, even if you're throwing out the common usage of the term. Probably involve some sort of hallucination or memory modification, though.
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Shub-Nullgurath

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5431 on: April 12, 2017, 02:35:12 am »

Links? You ranted over and over about being raised in the streets and therefore being the one and only entitled to have an opinion on goverment  benefits and immigration. Seriously.

Did you read my last post or did you just want to shout for no reason?

I mean, you're miles away from anything i'm saying but have fun!

Though you must've had quite the Spartan upbringing if you think toys and a TV were a luxury.

If you must know, McDonalds was a couple of times a year treat.

Yes, they are a luxury. You don't need them to survive. Understand that is the definition of a luxury: Something inessential that you want.

No, I didn't live that barebones of an upbringing because we were able to afford luxuries, even in a house where my only parent was a single Mum working as a cleaner who got a bunch of the child care benefits. We had internet, a computer, toys, games, consoles etc etc. Because we were able to afford luxuries at the lowest level of wage possible.

Or I was being told for what the healthy start vouchers were to be used, so I knew how to ring it up on the till. It speaks well of your position that you need to resort to twisting arguments to suit it.

I didn't twist anything and we both know it. Just because I pointed the flaw in what you were saying doesn't mean I twisted it.

What's your point?

It's called establishing points. I set out facts I feel will be relevant later on. You don't see how rent benefits being paid to the tenant instead of the landlord is relevant?

Not really; the banks lending them money to buy their renting properties set out in the conditions for those loans that they can't rent to someone they know is on housing benefits. Banks don't give a shit for the average person.

The fact that the way the benefits were changing not being very clear so they were unsure what was going on also had a pretty significant impact on their decision.

Even then: Why should the banks risk not getting a return on their money? You know that's how the housing market crashed last time, right? What do you want banks to do "Oh, you HAVE to rent to people on benefits even if you don't end up getting enough money to pay your mortgage and go into hardship yourself"?

And? We were discussing LHA. Are you trying to gaslight?

LHA has been rolled into UC since like October of 2015. UC's rules are different to LHA's (it's a mixed benefits income so that it's supposedly harder to cheat the system). From what I understand of it, UC can't be paid to the landlord because it's mixed benefits, so there's dole, sickpay etc etc.

What's wrong wi..! How is it not wrong to make someone homeless purely on the basis that they're less profitable than some other Joe on the street?

I think if you've already agreed a contract with someone, regardless whether it's month-to-month you shouldn't be allowed to tear it up just because you can't charge them as much as someone else.

Because that's how the world works.

You think that but:
1. It's not the case.
2. You only think that because you don't own a property.
3. You don't have a right to live in someone else's house.

Then they should've done their due diligence then, eh? It's not hard to find out if someone has the ability to pay. Like I said, there can be a guarantor, which I had to get for my first rental.

OR they could just not rent to welfare tenants and have a much lower chance of getting a problem, huh?

There was also a credit check, an employment check, and making sure you have a bank account mentioned.

I shudder to think what kinds of places you were living in if you didn't get anything like that.

Oh, sure, credit checks etc are pretty standard. This is all besides the point, though.

No, you're not. Yet you seem to think that someone growing up in a workless household will become workless when they reach adulthood.

From my experience, pretty much the case. Still, you're not born it, you're raised it. Why should you work when you've seen your parents live comfortably for years without working?

Oh, and this study confirms it that you're twice as likely to end up workless if you're in a workless household.

You get the money once they've processed your claim. Which takes 6 weeks.

I mean if you're applying for UC, chances are you don't have much cash in the first place, otherwise why would you claim it?

What are they supposed to do in the mean time?

You get backpay on it. So you'll end up with that 6 weeks back and able to pay your landlord the difference.

You say: "Landlord I've gone onto benefits but it'll take up to 6 weeks can I pay it to you then?"
And because your landlord likes money he says: "Yes."

Miscellaneous expenses like having a place to live, you mean?

To what miscellaneous expenses do you refer? Are all benefit recipients incapable of basic accounting?

Miscellaneous expenses like brand new phones, brand new TVs, games consoles etc etc.

And, yeah, they are.

Where does it say that?

Did you not pass your maths GCSE?

If 65% of people who were hit with a benefits cap (as in, cap on maximum benefits claimable) had three or more kids and only 10% of the British population has three or more kids then we can say it's statistically significant and that high benefits households have a high amount of children.

Oh, of course.

Then again, if wages are so low that working families are the new poor, it doesn't rightly matter if you work or not.

Record numbers of working families with children, and two out of three of them are living in poverty. Those Tory policies are a godsend.

This is the result of the government paying for housing. Landlords set the base rent on ANY house to £400 due to the fact they can claim that off the government at any point by allowing a benefits tenant in. This has priced working class people out.

(Nevermind that working class people have the same luxuries problem as benefits scroungers, but that's beside the point.)

Of course.

Never mind that there was a recession a few years back, causing unemployment levels not seen for decades, that wages for the lower classes are just now getting back to pre-recession levels. Never mind that the government for the past 7 years has been cutting spending like it's going out of fashion, that they think being in the black is going to fix all the problems that exist in Britain, in doing so reducing that social safety net that exists precisely to help people out when the world goes tits up, like after a financial crash. Never mind that they increased tuition fees so that it's even more expensive for a poor person to get an education to improve their life chances, and the chances of any sprogs they generate.

These people are in the situation they're in because they don't work hard enough. Righto.

Yeah, that is the case. Get a STEM degree ("OH THEY'RE RAISING TUITION" - Yeah but you'll never pay it back anyway) or a trade and you can be comfortable by the time you're 30 and relatively rich by the time you're 40. Just don't do an "apprenticeship" in a call centre or a degree in feminist dance theory and you'll be fine.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2017, 02:37:27 am by Shub-Nullgurath »
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5432 on: April 12, 2017, 03:49:13 am »

All my mum's friends from university did STEM degrees and they all work low-paid jobs unrelated to their fields because there were no openings.

Except the rocket scientist. I guess he did pretty well.
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Shub-Nullgurath

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5433 on: April 12, 2017, 04:21:15 am »

All my mum's friends from university did STEM degrees and they all work low-paid jobs unrelated to their fields because there were no openings.

Except the rocket scientist. I guess he did pretty well.

I guess it depends on STEM. If you do something hyperspecialised that no one actually wants (ie. forensic science) then you're not gonna get a job. Equally, you can do a hyperspecialised art degree (CAD art) and get a lot of work.

Frumple

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5434 on: April 12, 2017, 05:55:59 am »

... or you can not, because sometimes the jobs just aren't there. Oddly enough, a STEM degree, even a relatively high value one, is not a guarantee of work.
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Shub-Nullgurath

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5435 on: April 12, 2017, 06:11:03 am »

... or you can not, because sometimes the jobs just aren't there. Oddly enough, a STEM degree, even a relatively high value one, is not a guarantee of work.

I have my doubts regarding that. If you're a programmer in the UK who can't find work then you're just not looking hard enough or you're not willing to make concessions.

Frumple

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5436 on: April 12, 2017, 06:19:13 am »

I mean... you can doubt all you like. That doesn't make that doubt accurate. Fact of the matter it's been a good few years now since STEM training meant a roughly 100% chance you were going to find work. It's still one of the most valuable areas regarding work availability, but some people get fucked all the same.
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Shub-Nullgurath

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5437 on: April 12, 2017, 06:26:52 am »

I mean... you can doubt all you like. That doesn't make that doubt accurate. Fact of the matter it's been a good few years now since STEM training meant a roughly 100% chance you were going to find work. It's still one of the most valuable areas regarding work availability, but some people get fucked all the same.

I go to a pretty second rate university and on Software Engineering there's a 100% employment rate after leaving university:

Quote
100% of our graduates from this course go on to work and/or further study within six months of graduating (DLHE survey).

Previous graduates from courses in this subject area have gone on to work in a variety of roles such as analyst programmer, computing support manager, technical account manager, software engineer, channel networking specialist, technologist, IT manager, solution consultant, business development executive and account technical lead in organisations including Microsoft, Hewlett-Packard, IBM, Vodafone, Oracle and HSBC.

Additionally, you may gain skills that are transferable to other industries and may be able to pursue any career that requires a good honours degree. You could go on to further study and the University has many options available for postgraduate study (including postgraduate teacher training) and research which may interest you.

So don't give me that.

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5438 on: April 12, 2017, 06:45:17 am »

So you're the rule then? Everyone's experience is going to be exactly the same as your own? Even people who are doing vastly different things?
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Frumple

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5439 on: April 12, 2017, 06:46:36 am »

Yeeaaaah, you're actually trusting a university's self-reported employment rate, shub. If you paid a single iota of attention to anything regarding that over the last decade or so, you'd know that's not trust well placed. You can bet yourself a nice drink that 100% does not mean 100% employment in a STEM field (in fact, precisely what you quoted gave a nice bit of fluffery lying about exactly what that can entail), or 100% lack of underemployment (i.e.  what doris was talking about), or 100% consistent employment, either. Assuming the 100% isn't a straight up lie, anyway.
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Shub-Nullgurath

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5440 on: April 12, 2017, 07:15:25 am »

So you're the rule then? Everyone's experience is going to be exactly the same as your own? Even people who are doing vastly different things?

 ::)

Maybe people should work on solving their problems instead of complaining about them.

Yeeaaaah, you're actually trusting a university's self-reported employment rate, shub. If you paid a single iota of attention to anything regarding that over the last decade or so, you'd know that's not trust well placed. You can bet yourself a nice drink that 100% does not mean 100% employment in a STEM field (in fact, precisely what you quoted gave a nice bit of fluffery lying about exactly what that can entail), or 100% lack of underemployment (i.e.  what doris was talking about), or 100% consistent employment, either. Assuming the 100% isn't a straight up lie, anyway.

DLHE isn't self reported, it's reported on the Unistats website by an independent third party.

As an example of a random Software Engineering course:

Quote
Most common jobs
These are the most common job types students do six months after finishing the course.
Information technology and telecommunications professionals   80%
Business, research and administrative professionals   10%
Science, engineering and technology associate professionals   10%

So that's 80% of people have gone into a topic that is directly related to their field, whereas the other 20% have gone into professional roles in other related fields.

From a second rate university.

Frumple

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5441 on: April 12, 2017, 07:32:56 am »

... and you're still insistently showing you have little to no idea how the workforce operates, these days. Notice how conspicuously exactly what positions were involved is lacking, or hours, various benefit etc. related stuff, so on, so forth.

Also, did you happen to check what those figures were measuring? I'll save you a little time: That was the data from 10 students, over two years. In the statistics field that's what you call "complete bullshit".
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5442 on: April 12, 2017, 07:34:10 am »

I'm not really interested in what those students do 6 months after their studies. We live in a world of cheap, replacable temporary workforce. All hail outsourced labour.

It's a well known trick all kinds of commercial suppliers of education (let's just call them that) pull off. They have a deal with employment agencies. They supply freshly graduated students, and as a reward they can juggle numbers about 'all our students get a job after graduation'. While in reality, a large part of those students are out of a job a few months later, because there's fresh students to replace them that are cheaper, and in most EU countries, law forbids companies from hiring someone on a temporary basis for longer than (x) months. Over here in the Netherlands, I think it's 18 months, not sure, could be 30 as well. Either one and a half, or two and a half years.

I'd be much more interested to see how many of those students have a job, and in which profession, after say, 5 or 10 years.

It's easy for you to say that people should work on fixing their problems instead of complaining. Sometimes there's just jack shit you can do about your situation. Full employment / no unemployment is a myth, has been unattainable for a while now, and will only become more unattainable over time, due to automatization and outsourcing production.
Or how about partially disabled people (for lack of a better term)? You think there's a queue of employers fussing about who gets to hire them first?
Any politician who promises full employment is either a liar, or a sadist planning on creating North Korea style work camps for the unemployed.
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Shub-Nullgurath

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5443 on: April 12, 2017, 07:52:12 am »

... and you're still insistently showing you have little to no idea how the workforce operates, these days. Notice how conspicuously exactly what positions were involved is lacking, or hours, various benefit etc. related stuff, so on, so forth.

Also, did you happen to check what those figures were measuring? I'll save you a little time: That was the data from 10 students, over two years. In the statistics field that's what you call "complete bullshit".

How about you find statistics to prove me wrong then? :)

Frumple

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #5444 on: April 12, 2017, 08:06:32 am »

Sho', man. Not on a spreadsheet capable device right now (and other places to be besides) so I can't dig through and point out the specific bits you'd want to be looking at, but you can scrum around and check the breakdowns and more nuanced stuff yourself. You'll be happy to find unemployment rates cheerfully existing in the fields you're talking about and underemployment loitering around, too, and a larger range of data (both over time and in regards to students checked) than the useless crap that independent third party was pandering.
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