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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1099600 times)

hops

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3915 on: November 05, 2016, 05:57:14 am »

I think a lot of  buildings in germany still double for bomb shelters.
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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3916 on: November 05, 2016, 03:12:12 pm »

You could always try to run out of town and into the fields. Nobody's gonna bomb a couple beets just because they might hit a civilian.

Well, except the Russians maybe.
You can't make that assumption

See WWII bombing for example, total war rules apply, fuck your beets

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3917 on: November 07, 2016, 01:33:20 am »

Montenegro accuses Russia of staging a coup and trying to assasinate the prime minister.
Public prosecutor Milivoje Katnic says that Russian nationalists and Serbs were working together to stage a violent coup to overthrow and kill PM Milo Djukanovic, who has been prime minister for 25 years.

The 'criminal gang' wanted to occupy the parliament on election day (16th of actober) and install a pro-Russian government.
The night before elections, 20 Serbs were arrested under suspicion of terrorism. In Serbia itself, arrests took place as well.
Next to that, Montenegro deported multiple Russian citizens out of it's country.

The group had over 50 automatic weapons, and just as many handguns, according to the prosecutor.
He does add that even though Russian citizens were involved in the organisation, there is no evidence that the Russian government was involved.

It is expected that Montenegro will join NATO next year. It is assumed that Pro-Russian forces wanted to prevent this with the coup.
http://www.volkskrant.nl/buitenland/montenegro-beschuldigt-russen-van-moordcomplot-tegen-premier~a4410092/
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3918 on: November 09, 2016, 08:30:35 am »

Back to the topic of bomb shelters, being the funny joker I am, I wrote an email to our city council asking them where I could find bombshelters in my city.
They replied me in less than 6h.
Apparently our government in the mid 1980s decided to completely abandon and scrap all bomb shelters as the Cold War had ended, and either tore them down to make room for construction projects, and/or sold them to private parties. Most of these are now being used as server farms and storage areas.

So we still have an air raid alarm, but no bomb shelters at all. Good to know.

* martinuzz strikes the earth and digs deeper
« Last Edit: November 09, 2016, 08:34:40 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Grim Portent

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3919 on: November 09, 2016, 11:39:54 am »

Makes sense really. In the absence of immediate risk of bombings it's more practical to replace or repurpose unneeded bomb shelters into things with more present or practical value.
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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3920 on: November 09, 2016, 12:48:39 pm »

Makes sense really. In the absence of immediate risk of bombings it's more practical to replace or repurpose unneeded bomb shelters into things with more present or practical value.

This is a really dangerous way of thinking. The global political climate could change unexpectedly rapidly, it takes years to build up shelters in sufficient numbers.

It is not being prepared in any way whatsoever for the single greatest threat to our survival, which is nuclear war.
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miauw62

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3921 on: November 09, 2016, 12:54:11 pm »

nukes arent going to wipe out humanity lmao

amount of warheads has been declining for years and its not like nukes make areas uninhabitable

but i guess it makes more sense to nuke all the huge lightly populated areas instead of focusing on military targets and population centers :^]

also, martinuzz mentioned that these are ww2 bomb shelters, those arent gonna protect you from nuclear weapons.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2016, 12:56:05 pm by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Innsmothe

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3922 on: November 09, 2016, 12:58:43 pm »

Plus most warheads are set up for a mid-air explosion, limiting the tons of irradiated earth spreading out over miles of realestate.
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Kot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3923 on: November 09, 2016, 01:04:43 pm »

nukes arent going to wipe out humanity lmao
Nukes are still going to kill a good lot of people in case of a war, to the point of global recession to some sort of crazy techno-barbarian medieval ages. Metro Universe without mutants, basically.

I belive the problem here is that they have literal drills for this kind of events, all the manuals and handbooks and whatnot tells people to head to the nearest bunker and that they should know by asking their city and...
...when they actually do, they say the bunkers don't exist anymore.

We should have the bunkers in any case, because REASONS. If you cry that they're useless, make them useful - like Moscow Metro or most Metros in the world, for that matter. I dunno, really, map the underground rainwater tanks (or whatever they are) and mount some heavy duty doors, other stuff.
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Arx

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3924 on: November 09, 2016, 01:14:42 pm »

I personally abide by the wonderful principle of living somewhere no-one cares about enough to nuke. :P
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Innsmothe

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3925 on: November 09, 2016, 01:15:54 pm »

I personally abide by the wonderful principle of living somewhere no-one cares about enough to nuke. :P
Sealand?
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iceball3

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3926 on: November 09, 2016, 01:19:36 pm »

I personally abide by the wonderful principle of living somewhere no-one cares about enough to nuke. :P
Sealand?
Sealand has been invaded though, before. By mercenaries on jet skis.
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Kot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3927 on: November 09, 2016, 01:21:52 pm »

/K/ has been dreaming about invading Sealand for years to set up 4chanland, with Trump in power they could get away.
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miauw62

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3928 on: November 09, 2016, 01:22:55 pm »

nukes arent going to wipe out humanity lmao
Nukes are still going to kill a good lot of people in case of a war, to the point of global recession to some sort of crazy techno-barbarian medieval ages. Metro Universe without mutants, basically.

I belive the problem here is that they have literal drills for this kind of events, all the manuals and handbooks and whatnot tells people to head to the nearest bunker and that they should know by asking their city and...
...when they actually do, they say the bunkers don't exist anymore.

We should have the bunkers in any case, because REASONS. If you cry that they're useless, make them useful - like Moscow Metro or most Metros in the world, for that matter. I dunno, really, map the underground rainwater tanks (or whatever they are) and mount some heavy duty doors, other stuff.
I mean yeah actual nuking would probably cause hundreds of millions of deaths, but it's not going to literally end humanity.

And still, one has to question if nukes would actually be used against major population centers instead of military targets.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Arx

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3929 on: November 09, 2016, 01:27:01 pm »

I personally abide by the wonderful principle of living somewhere no-one cares about enough to nuke. :P
Sealand?

The glorious Republic of South Africa (is Republic still in our name? I forget). Sealand would be good too, though...
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