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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1107528 times)

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2685 on: July 04, 2016, 02:18:14 am »

Since we had a lot of discussion about fishes, the EU is reaching a deal to ban bottom trawler. Not perfect by far (it still allows it in some zone it was done in previously), but definitely a step forward. Yay for marine ecosystems!
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2686 on: July 04, 2016, 02:54:38 am »

Now if only UK would also comply with this...
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._.

Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2687 on: July 04, 2016, 03:05:40 am »

But fishing industry
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2688 on: July 04, 2016, 03:17:48 am »

But fishing industry
...can go fuck itself
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Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2689 on: July 04, 2016, 03:34:49 am »

You're not thinking like a right-winger. Economy>all
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2690 on: July 04, 2016, 03:42:17 am »

Actually, I'm not sure it matters if the UK respect if or not. Bottom trawlers are only a few ships in the EU, most of them Spanish, I don't think anyone operate under a British flag atm.

Of note is that Spanish lobbying manage to limit the ban to European waters, so they'll be free to keep fucking up the internaitonal waters.

Edit: Actually mostly French. At least in 2013, there were 11 bottom trawlers in the EU, 9 of them French, 6 of them belonging to one supermarket chain. Probably explain why it's a French MEP that led the fight in the Parliament to accept all the restrictions proposed by Spain. Still, big step forward.
« Last Edit: July 04, 2016, 03:48:41 am by Sheb »
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2691 on: July 04, 2016, 06:11:10 am »

Bidet, pfff, they should embrace the future and learn how to use the three seashells.

But fishing industry
...can go fuck itself
No jokes, they really need to, otherwise they're just climbing to greater heights to further impale themselves in the future. Unlike with conservation fucking them over, overfishing will permanently fuck them over. Somalian pirates were created by overfishing, never 5get

Rolepgeek

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2692 on: July 04, 2016, 05:19:04 pm »

Nah, pan-Turkism, remember?  It's turkey bacon, all the way.
From what I remember of ther website, the proposal wasn't about spreading Islam everywhere (they actually said no one would have to worry about extremists and instability, basically). The main goal for them seemed to be controlling huge amounts of oil and minerals, so that their economy could flourish via that trade and exporting.
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Optimize anyway.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2695 on: July 07, 2016, 08:56:34 am »

Quote
READ MORE: Migrants involved in 70,000 potential & actual crimes in 1st quarter of 2016 – German police

In most of the crimes, men were unable to “handle the alcohol,” simply felt “horny,” having “ignorance of the consequences for the girls" or “misplaced feelings,”“expressing anger in this way” or acting due to “peer pressure.”

Recent migrants are blamed for some of the crimes: migrant sex gangs were attacking girls from 12 to 17 years old over the past two summers at the Stockholm music festival. In a leaked police memo, security forces noted that “unaccompanied youth” from the Middle East were behind the crimes, Breitbart reported.

More attacks were reported at Swedish music festivals Arvika in 2006 and 2010, Emmaboda in 2014 and Bråvalla in 2015, with police accused of covering up the assaults and not disclosing details on the 36 reports of sexual assault and two rape allegations filed after the festivals in 2014 and 2015, the Local reported.

Last month, a Swedish police report said that the country has the worst rates of sexual violence against women in entire Europe, according to a survey carried out by the EU’s rights agency.

“Sweden tops the new EU Statistics on physical and sexual violence against women, sexual harassment and stalking. The conclusion is that the results are a consequence of Nordic alcohol culture, but also of non-traditional gender roles,” the report said.
t. Putin news,  ‘Don’t touch me’: Swedish police offer anti-sexual assault wristband

Whilst concluding the sexual assaults were a result of Nordic alcohol culture and non-traditional gender roles, whilst handing out do not grope wristbands written in Swedish:
Quote
“We are in the process of reviewing them,” he said in a speech at a political seminar. “It’s also important that we continue to ensure that police, prosecutors and other officials are better equipped to investigate such crimes and actually catch the perpetrators.”

Nyström declined to give details of the suspects or comment on reports that the offences in Karlstad were committed by migrants or foreigners, pending the outcome of the investigation.

“We want to catch the suspects because we need to talk to them,” he said. “The number of such cases has increased slightly since last year, but I’m really not sure if this is a common problem at festivals.”

In January, Swedish police faced allegations of a cover-up for failing to inform the public of widespread sexual assaults against teenage girls at a music festival a year ago, which came to light when the Swedish daily Dagens Nyheter reported them following a string of sexual assaults and robberies on New Year’s Eve in Cologne, Germany.
t. progresiv news
Why

In related news Mumford and Sons boycott Swedish festival amid sex attack reports
Quote
The band said they were "gutted" to hear of reports of five rapes and more than a dozen suspected sexual assaults at the Bravalla Festival in Norrkoping, south-west of Stockholm, that took place from June 29 to July 2.

In a post on their official Facebook page which was signed by all band members, they vowed not to play it again until security had improved.
t. torygraph

Quote
More than 40 cases of rape and sexual assault were reported after two festivals in Sweden at the weekend.
Five incidents of rape and 12 sexual assaults were reported at Bravalla Festival and 35 sexual assaults reported at Putte I Parken.
The youngest reported victim at Putte I Parken is 12 years old.
A friend of one victim claims reports were not taken seriously at Putte I Parken when security staff were alerted.
"A guy ran his hand between the legs of one of my friends," said the unnamed youth to Sweden's AftonBladet newspaper.
"When she went to a bouncer, she was asked if she was drunk.
 don't know what the bouncers are doing there if they can't help when people do this."
Another victim claims she was held down by a young male while he "started humping against my body".
Swedish police are now looking for a number of males in connection with the attacks.
"We have five counts of suspicious rape," police at Bravalla festival told Newsbeat.
"In three [cases] we have interrogated three suspects. We've decided to release them. There may be an investigation into sexual offences that are not rape," they said.
Mumford & Sons, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Hardwell, Bastille, Craig David and Zara Larsson were among the performers at Bravalla, with Zara tweeting her disgust at the attacks.
"For those shamelessly raping a girl in the audience, you deserve to burn in hell," she said, translated from Swedish.
t. beeblebub news

Stockholm police were warned not to give descriptions of the perpetrators lest they were accused of being racist

Ahahaha, now you know my despair

MarcAFK

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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2697 on: July 08, 2016, 08:02:26 am »

Hunary isn't going to leave, they get mad amount of EU cash. Like, the highest ratio of incoming cash to GDP in the whole EU, on the order of 5% IIRC.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

MarcAFK

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2698 on: July 08, 2016, 08:09:51 am »

Hunary isn't going to leave, they get mad amount of EU cash. Like, the highest ratio of incoming cash to GDP in the whole EU, on the order of 5% IIRC.
You could say they're hungry for funding.   
..... I'll see myself out.
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #2699 on: July 13, 2016, 04:51:10 am »

The German government is considering a proposal by the German minister of Defense, to expand the German army with a German version of the French Foreign Legion. If the proposal is approved, non-German EU citizens will be able to join the German army.

It is not certain it will pass though. the SPD, which is in the government together with the CDU, has already expressed worries about the costs, in the light of years of budget cuts on defense.

The Bundeswehrverband, the largest interest group for military personell, also has objections.
In a statement, they say that "German citizenship is fundamental, since joining the army requires a special, reciprocal loyalty between soldier and state"
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