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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1109086 times)

Sinistar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1500 on: March 30, 2016, 03:21:47 pm »

Erdogan mildly sad, politely asks evil Germany to stop being mean to him.


But seriously, while Erdogan trying to strongarm his political ego is always troublesome, I find relief there's still some sensible people among EU leaders who be all like "now listen old boy, why don't you take it down a notch, hm?"

If only that happened more often.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1501 on: March 30, 2016, 10:12:07 pm »

So, I just stumbled on this article about the murder of an Ahmadi Muslim shopkeeper in Glasgow. I was wondering if LW knows anything about it, since well, I had never heard anything of Ahamadi muslims before , probably before they seems to be mostly a South Asian movement and muslims in Belgium are mostly of North African descent.
Popping back to say the storm's not killed me but it's left me with digging to do and timber to replace and yeah this was headline but it's died down rather quickly, with everyone showing sympathy and hashtags but no one addressing the elephant in the room. Business as usual basically, I mean the Guardian's more preoccupied with lambasting Thomas the Tank engine as being a sexist, anti-environmental colonial classist vehicle (no pun intended) for indoctrinating children to be evil straight white men. Presumably the movie coming out (called 'The Great Race') will be a warning on how being respectful to your friends will lead to a slippery railway line down to occupying Alsace-Lorraine.
Best part is of course, who bloody writes the Guardian? Who wrote this? Who started it all, picking a fight with me engines?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
YOU'RE A FUCKING WHITE MALE of course!
Good Lord, there are too many influential international institutions run by self-hating whites and their pandering handlers, I feel someone has to take the knives from their wrists before they cut everyone around them too much or else learn Thomas the tank engine runs down the engine line number 9, not derail across the street ;-;

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CUT THE MENTAL HEALTH BUDGET OSBORNE

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, WHOLE GENERATIONS OF THESE MADCATS RUNNING THE WORLD

NOW WE DON'T EVEN HAVE FICTIONAL TRAINS TO CONSOLE OUR CURRENT TRAINS BEING well, controversial.

This is far more important than being religion of peace'd.
Spoiler: religionthread stuff (click to show/hide)

Erdogan mildly sad, politely asks evil Germany to stop being mean to him.
But seriously, while Erdogan trying to strongarm his political ego is always troublesome, I find relief there's still some sensible people among EU leaders who be all like "now listen old boy, why don't you take it down a notch, hm?"
If only that happened more often.
Quote
"freedom of the press and freedom of expression... are values the EU cherishes".
Are they serious? Are they gigglin? JUST

Also anyone here think they didn't do this just to piss Erdogan off and make him act rashly?

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1502 on: March 30, 2016, 10:22:29 pm »

Erdogan mildly sad, politely asks evil Germany to stop being mean to him.
But seriously, while Erdogan trying to strongarm his political ego is always troublesome, I find relief there's still some sensible people among EU leaders who be all like "now listen old boy, why don't you take it down a notch, hm?"
If only that happened more often.
Quote
"freedom of the press and freedom of expression... are values the EU cherishes".
Are they serious? Are they gigglin? JUST

Also anyone here think they didn't do this just to piss Erdogan off and make him act rashly?

He's just angry that he can't strangle whoever wrote the song and the people singing it.
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Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1503 on: March 31, 2016, 04:46:44 am »

It's not even that great a song - it's just funny because Erdogan reacted like he did.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1504 on: March 31, 2016, 07:17:12 am »

Ahah, good old LW's is back, writing a post which contains some nuggets of informations in the midst of a bant where you don't know what to address and what not, what is shitposting and what's not.
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Sheb

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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

smjjames

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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1507 on: March 31, 2016, 08:39:10 am »

Well, that certainly seems like an, ahem, solution, to the problem of refugees in Europe.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1508 on: March 31, 2016, 08:42:06 am »

Not an ethical solution of course.
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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1509 on: March 31, 2016, 08:57:25 am »

But is is certainly a solution that Europe wants, given how much benefits Turkey is to get in return for "dealing with the refugee problem".

Either that, or European leadership has become extremely dumb, for not realizing the simplest of consequences that actions have.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1510 on: March 31, 2016, 09:05:05 am »

Ahah, good old LW's is back, writing a post which contains some nuggets of informations in the midst of a bant where you don't know what to address and what not, what is shitposting and what's not.
That kid doesn't stand a chance, here's hoping he's at the very least culturally mixed as fuck so he doesn't carry his what you might say, straight white dictator Heritage

The Guardian

Mein sides

Turkish border guards apparently "shoot to kill" on refugees. Be nice to have some more info on that if anyone has some.
With the Kurds building their anti-suicide bomber trench and the Turks having not done so getting suicide bombed by Syrians this seemed inevitable. Should've built their barrier whilst they still could've, instead of trying to project power into Syria.
Anyways I can't see the Times article because paywall but it sounds like they've been given a shoot to kill policy, when that's not what's happening.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/turkey-shooting-dead-syrian-refugees-flee-civil-war-a6960971.html

Quote
UK-based monitoring group the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights alleged 16 people seeking sanctuary in Turkey have been shot over the past four months.
They said those killed included three children.
Other examples compiled by the Syrian Observatory include the alleged killings of a man and his child at Ras al-Ain, at the eastern end of the Turkish-Syrian border.
In the west of the country, two refugees were reportedly shot dead at Guvveci on 5 March.
“It’s in all areas. It happens to people coming from Idlib, Aleppo, Isis areas, Kurdish areas,” a  spokesman for the Syrian Observatory told The Independent.
By contrast Turkey has let in 2 million refugees and have been putting up with newEurope everyday.

Well, that certainly seems like an, ahem, solution, to the problem of refugees in Europe.
It will not. The numbers are simply far too low. Unless the Times is secretly misrepresenting this on purpose to make it seem like they have a shoot to kill policy which will cause people walking to Turkey fear.

But is is certainly a solution that Europe wants, given how much benefits Turkey is to get in return for "dealing with the refugee problem".
Either that, or European leadership has become extremely dumb, for not realizing the simplest of consequences that actions have.
European leadership is not stupid, and is highly educated. They merely defer their thinking to others whose agendas do not require them to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1511 on: March 31, 2016, 09:32:15 am »

There was that thing in your version of the article LW:

For every migrant deported to Turkey, the EU will take in a Syrian refugee from Turkey, but this number will be capped at 72,000

Should surely calm the nativists around here.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1512 on: March 31, 2016, 09:56:36 am »

72,000 - in total, or per some unspecified period of time? European officials have been known to manipulate the information in that way before, you know, with "tell them the number of migrants arriving per day instead or per year, to quell the stupid unwashed masses public".

Besides, a number like seems like an extremely easy thing to amend in further provisions. Raise the debt ceiling, so to speak.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1513 on: March 31, 2016, 09:58:58 am »

There was that thing in your version of the article LW:
For every migrant deported to Turkey, the EU will take in a Syrian refugee from Turkey, but this number will be capped at 72,000
Should surely calm the nativists around here.
It will, because they are narrow minded, forgetting the immediate past and future exist. 72,000 is a meaningless number if it is enforced, if the cap does not also create a deportation limit of 72,000, will not address the migration rate of millions or the West African, Central African or Black Sea routes, or just the simple fact that if the millions rate was magically turned into 72,000 it would still be too much, too little and too late, or the fact that this deal opens the door to Turkish migrants or "Turkish" migrants in such a way that they could not be stopped by Schengen nations unless those nations actively defied Brussels. And I could still appreciate late damage control as there's no such thing as damage control, but this is not that. This is damage control against opposition.

Quote
First, readmission. Even if Turkey agrees to accept the rapid return of those crossing from Turkey into Greece, the single biggest practical problem remains one which the EU was familiar with for a long time, but did not address yet seriously: the state of the Greek asylum system.
It is crucial to stress, again and again, that any readmission must happen in accordance with EU and international law on the rights of refugees. As Kenneth Roth from Human Rights Watch put it, each claim should be "given careful consideration."
The problem with this is that this is in fact a meaningless commitment unless it is accompanied by a dramatic strengthening of the ability of the Greek Asylum Service to implement it. In a recent paper (published by Forced Migration Review) in January 2016 Maria Stavropoulou, its director, wrote that:
    "case workers can reasonably be expected to issue no more than a few dozen decisions a month … in a situation, however, where thousands of people arrive every day in a country … these requirements are simply impossible to meet. For instance, the Greek Asylum Service can currently process at most 1,500 applications a month if it wishes to respect all of these requirements – which is less than half of the average daily inflow of refugees on the Greek islands at the time of writing this article."
Some human rights organisations argued that the impossibility of conducting a full review of all individual applications makes any deal with Turkey impossible. In fact, the situation for individual asylum seekers in Greece is even worse if there is no deal at all.
http://www.esiweb.org/index.php?lang=en&id=67&newsletter_ID=105

A pointless endeavor in futility? No.
Quote
First, the EU and Greek authorities should focus on building up the administrative capacity for determining asylum cases and readmission in accordance with applicable European law. As recently as 24 February the executive director of the European Asylum Support Office, Jose Carreira, stated that "supporting the EU Relocation Scheme is the key priority for EASO operations in Greece." And as late as 10 March, he told EU interior ministers about the need for more personnel to be sent to Greece to work on relocation.
The EU relocation scheme has seen less than 100 people relocated from Greece to the EU per month since last autumn. It should be suspended without further delay. Greece currently has some 260 employees in its Asylum Service. As ESI learned in Athens recently, one quarter of them work on relocation, busy with a program that at best resettles a few hundred people a month. This is, in fact, an irresponsible waste of scarce administrative resources.
The European Commission should put all of its energy into devising ways how Greece can be helped by integrating asylum case workers from other EU member states into its system without delay.
Just the next vehicle which mass immigration can continue amongst European states irregardless of their constituent's wishes. And the deal promises relocation of refugees directly from Turkey, to where again?

Yuropoors do not think about the consequences of their leaders' actions. The Forced Migration Review should change its name back to the Refugee Participation Network. Sounds friendlier.

72,000 - in total, or per some unspecified period of time? European officials have been known to manipulate the information in that way before, you know, with "tell them the number of migrants arriving per day instead or per year, to quell the stupid unwashed masses public".
Besides, a number like seems like an extremely easy thing to amend in further provisions. Raise the debt ceiling, so to speak.
Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany has steadfastly refused to cap the number of legitimate asylum seekers who can enter.
The cap is ultimately meaningless and you can keep applying even if you have been deported from Europe. Priority will be given to those who haven't tried reaching Europe yet. That's irregardless of whether it's 72,000 a day or year.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1514 on: March 31, 2016, 10:07:57 am »

Yeah, my though reading that number exactly. Reading this Guardian piece, it's not clear if it per year or overall.

Quote
But a cap of 72,000 places has been put on Syrians who will be given asylum in Europe, far short of the 108,000 a year recommended by international aid agencies, if the EU is to do its fair share. The scheme will be stopped once more than 72,000 people have been settled in Europe, amid concerns among some countries of an “open-ended commitment”.

Yeah, I also don't really see Erdogan sticking to his part of the deal once he pocket the euromonies for some reasons. Although from another point of view, if Turkey is deemed a safe country in the process, any asylum seeker whose application is rejected who came via Turkey can then be dumped back there.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.
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