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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1098574 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1425 on: March 25, 2016, 10:56:55 pm »

Nah, but the sexual deviancy/degeneration bit showed up in the talks I had to exit from when we were discussing incest&co. laws previously.
You speak like a conservative preacher, even if you don't hold the views of one, Loud Whispers. A very meme-positive conservative preacher, but one nonetheless. Just need more Jeebus and/or Reagan references. :P
Are conservative preachers literally the only people saying necrophilia and incest are bad in the states? Nah I don't believe that
Unless US progresiv really has degenerated alongside Stockholm, Frankfurt, Paris and London... I do recall actually trying to imitate evangelical megapreachers as a joke but that shit is hard or else everyone would do it, it's top ham
I think I'll just stick with top haram, I am a firm believer in progress, not regress and certainly not degeneration generation after generation. We lack charismatic, high energy figures that ham it up on TV, preferring to keep things controlled yet not necessarily calm, despite what that bloody propaganda poster commands. It might just have to do with how little sunlight we get, or the culture of temperateness still stubbornly refuses to die, even in the capital of excess. Can't PRAISE THE SUN when you got no sun

I know what is guacamole... I know about Latin America culture... I even speak Spanish...
* Magistrum goes away to a corner complain about never being understood
Communicating is hard...
I was asking what you meant to say by guac. Is that some kind of offense?
Well it calls upon cross-pond meming from Jeb Bush's politics and dismal campaign which has had a lot of global "input," that and guac obviously rhymes with black and I wanted to picture Johnny Cash singing about a suit of guac, imagine Brendon just guacing my shit up fam, it also half rhymes with fuck and half rhymes with cuck so that also makes it sound more offensive, and of course guac is guac, it's one of those words where the more you say it the less it sounds like it exists. That's about as deep as you can read into the meanings of guac

It's the one word equivalent of "your mother stacks shelves in Morrisons." Nothing about it is offensive but it sounds incredibly edgy because it flows so well and sounds accusatory of something bad
So I'd say it falls into the line of things that are euphemistically offensive but it's in this guac area of ambiguity, to me it is just the epitome of globalist politics holding hands with people forced into the chopping block just to walk into dismal failure

Might be looking too far into this as guac is guac but those are all the possible influences, and language is nothing but a series of meanings justifying meaning with itself in an endless guac mixer of eternity
How can you understand guac if you have not become the guac

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1426 on: March 25, 2016, 11:28:30 pm »

Nah I'm not Cockney, I'm of the Estuary variety and I can't speak Cockney rhyming slang with any skill sadly and it's something you can only learn from speaking it, as the English language is convoluted enough without more convoluted arbitrary rhyme rules. Cockney culture, people and slang are pretty much gone, though I think it will live on a bit in financial cliques since a lot of Cockney brokers use it to talk about stuff that is *probably* compliant with law in front of others without them knowing
The rhyming slang would also force a clearer definition of guac's usage in what guac bowl would have to rhyme with, and you'd have to use it as a proper noun but only as guac
The only thing we share in common is that most of the slang is made on the fly by and by

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Anyways these are the market stalls outside whitechapel, one of the few places in the world where you'll find someone selling burkas next door to the lingerie merchant and the fruit merchant
Not a lick of cockney at all
Its influences will not disappear though, the slang might be kept up by people interested in it and its certainly left its mark on Estuary just as Estuary's doing what the SE does and blob through the UK just as Parisians Parisified France. Only we do it slower for some reason, must be all the hills everywhere

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1427 on: March 26, 2016, 03:02:27 am »

I don't see the EU "getting control" of the French security bureau. Just doesn't make sense when you look at the way other security-related EU stuff are managed, the EU just doesn't randomly grab institutions from member states. Realistically, we can probably expect a Frontex-like agency which mostly helps various security services cooperate but doesn't do field work. Maybe maintain database of known terror suspects, that kind of things. And I'd love to see Loud Whisper explain to me how that can be anything but a positive step. :)

As much as I'd love to get a real EU-wide intelligence agency, there is nothing in the current treaties that would allow giving police power to the EU.

Also, when on Earth did the Commission hush the drowning of Christian in the med? That thing was all over the news, and it's not like the Commission got a censorship bureau. Same for all the other things the Commission was supposedly hushing.
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Rolepgeek

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1428 on: March 26, 2016, 04:00:59 am »

I don't see the EU "getting control" of the French security bureau. Just doesn't make sense when you look at the way other security-related EU stuff are managed, the EU just doesn't randomly grab institutions from member states. Realistically, we can probably expect a Frontex-like agency which mostly helps various security services cooperate but doesn't do field work. Maybe maintain database of known terror suspects, that kind of things. And I'd love to see Loud Whisper explain to me how that can be anything but a positive step. :)

As much as I'd love to get a real EU-wide intelligence agency, there is nothing in the current treaties that would allow giving police power to the EU.

Also, when on Earth did the Commission hush the drowning of Christian in the med? That thing was all over the news, and it's not like the Commission got a censorship bureau. Same for all the other things the Commission was supposedly hushing.
Hushing=not promoting. If something's not being covered by a place that's supposedly meant to cover based on whatever expectations, real or imagined, it's considered hushing. If you go with that attitude, then a lot of what LW is saying becomes a lot more coherent. Insufficient support=negligent opposition, no matter what side you're talking about. Even dank memes. Vice versa, too; insufficient opposition=tacit support, obviously.

Nah, but the sexual deviancy/degeneration bit showed up in the talks I had to exit from when we were discussing incest&co. laws previously.
You speak like a conservative preacher, even if you don't hold the views of one, Loud Whispers. A very meme-positive conservative preacher, but one nonetheless. Just need more Jeebus and/or Reagan references. :P
Are conservative preachers literally the only people saying necrophilia and incest are bad in the states? Nah I don't believe that
Unless US progresiv really has degenerated alongside Stockholm, Frankfurt, Paris and London... I do recall actually trying to imitate evangelical megapreachers as a joke but that shit is hard or else everyone would do it, it's top ham
I think I'll just stick with top haram, I am a firm believer in progress, not regress and certainly not degeneration generation after generation. We lack charismatic, high energy figures that ham it up on TV, preferring to keep things controlled yet not necessarily calm, despite what that bloody propaganda poster commands. It might just have to do with how little sunlight we get, or the culture of temperateness still stubbornly refuses to die, even in the capital of excess. Can't PRAISE THE SUN when you got no sun
No but they're the only ones talking about moral degeneracy while they're doing it, and about the scandalous youth and how good it was back when everyone was a proper, patriotic, commie-hating god-fearing Reagan-loving American, while chastising the modern state for considering making sexual deviancy (in this case, teh gay) legal. That is why you sound like 'em. Complain about political incorrectness of using homosexuality in this context all you want, it's still true.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2016, 04:05:50 am by Rolepgeek »
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1429 on: March 26, 2016, 04:18:25 am »

Yeah, except LW never explained why the Commission was supposed to cover it, which is why his point is so strange to me.
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Shadowlord

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1430 on: March 26, 2016, 04:53:05 am »

Quote from: LW
Guac obviously rhymes with black
Whitechapel

In the original accent? Also, aha, evidence of your true identity: Jack the Ripper!

P.S. I live in North Amiga America, and you're the only person I've ever seen say "guac," mate.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1431 on: March 26, 2016, 05:26:14 am »

Two days after the Brussels attack, late thursday evening, a security guard working at a nuclear power plant was killed in Charleroi, while walking his dog. His security access badge is missing.
Belgian authorities have said that the Brussels terrorists were originally planning to attack nuclear power plants, but that the arrest of Abdeslam rushed them into preliminary action. One of the dead perpetrators was the same guy that used video surveillence to spy on the director of the Belgian nuclear research program.
Hours of video tape were confiscated when police raided the hideout of Mohammed Bakkali, another member of the same terror cell.

But with this security guard's death, it looks like they didn't catch all the terrorists planning a nuclear strike yet. Nuclear power plants will continue to be minimally staffed, and guarded with heavy military prescence.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2016, 05:33:32 am by martinuzz »
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1432 on: March 26, 2016, 05:29:45 am »

Belgium is set to vote to allow house search between 21h and 5h in terrorist cases. They were previously not allowed except for drug cases, leading suspects to set their alarm at 4:00 and change hideouts before the police could come in. I'm not even kidding.

Edit: I'd wait for confirmation for that security guard stuff. The only source is the Dernière Heure, which is our local rag, somewhere between the Daily Mail and News of the World as far as reliability go. I can't find anything on the reputable news outlet yet, but then they tend to await confirmation before rushing a piece of "news".
« Last Edit: March 26, 2016, 05:34:48 am by Sheb »
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Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Dorsidwarf

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1433 on: March 26, 2016, 05:45:41 am »

I know what is guacamole... I know about Latin America culture... I even speak Spanish...
* Magistrum goes away to a corner complain about never being understood
Communicating is hard...

I was asking what you meant to say by guac. Is that some kind of offense?

It also seems to be a borrowed NA thing ( Mexicans = immigrants guacamole = Mexican , US up takes guacamole  = cultural integration = immigrant takeover )
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Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1434 on: March 26, 2016, 06:36:31 am »

Two days after the Brussels attack, late thursday evening, a security guard working at a nuclear power plant was killed in Charleroi, while walking his dog. His security access badge is missing.
Belgian authorities have said that the Brussels terrorists were originally planning to attack nuclear power plants, but that the arrest of Abdeslam rushed them into preliminary action. One of the dead perpetrators was the same guy that used video surveillence to spy on the director of the Belgian nuclear research program.
Hours of video tape were confiscated when police raided the hideout of Mohammed Bakkali, another member of the same terror cell.

But with this security guard's death, it looks like they didn't catch all the terrorists planning a nuclear strike yet. Nuclear power plants will continue to be minimally staffed, and guarded with heavy military prescence.

I have no idea if they could even pull off an attack on a nuclear power plant. Those are pretty heavily guarded and messing with the controls of the plant or causing damage severely enough to cause the plant to meltdown requires expert knowledge.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1435 on: March 26, 2016, 06:51:46 am »

I still don't see any mention of that dead security guard on other websites, but reading the DH's own article they do mention that security services apparently tried to hush things up, so it's possible the other website are just better at respecting instructions than the DH. And before you go about the Lügenpresse protecting muslims or whatever, keep in mind that if the info in that article is true, they suspect the badge was stolen, but they deactivated it. So now they just have to wait for the killer to show up at the plant with a non-working badge and catch him there, so it make sense not to publicize the fact that they're aware it was stolen and planned for it.

Thanks for ruining everything again DH.
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Shadowlord

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1436 on: March 26, 2016, 09:32:26 am »

It reached reuters, and got shot down:

Two days after bomb attacks at Brussels airport and on a packed metro killed 31 people and injured hundreds, a security guard who worked at a Belgian nuclear site was killed but the local prosecutor on Saturday ruled out any militant link.

The Charleroi prosecutor's office also denied media reports that his security pass had been stolen and been de-activated as soon as investigators raised the alarm, public broadcaster VTM said.

The office declined to comment when contacted by Reuters.
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sprinkled chariot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1437 on: March 26, 2016, 09:35:59 am »

Why would anyone attack Belgium?  the only evil thing about Belgium is that their chockolate  tastes like it is made from mix of poo, dead roaches and urine.
After this attack this is the first time Belgium even appears in news. Belgium is so insignificant, that you can just leave it as blank space on europe map.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1438 on: March 26, 2016, 09:41:08 am »

Because they were on the run, wanting to go out with a boom and couldn't exactly go to France for that, Schengen or not. Also we are part of the coalition bombing Daesh.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1439 on: March 26, 2016, 11:25:06 am »

Charlie Hebdo got a cartoon on the Brussels attack. I lol'd. :p (So yeah, it's not just you Russians friends)

"After the shock, the complaints of the Belgian commuters"
"Always late!"
"Anyone saw my suitcase?"
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.
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