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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1104841 times)

TheBiggerFish

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1125 on: March 16, 2016, 06:25:32 pm »

Nobody expects the invisible Poles
Theres one fixing your boiler right now LW.
Like, Mythbusters 'fixing' his boiler?  Uh-oh.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1126 on: March 16, 2016, 06:27:06 pm »

In other news the Balkanites have been pretty successful with their deportation and fences, even the Serbs are joining in now. One thing that interests me is that in the latest photos of sad children:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Many signs written in good English and good English handwriting have been appearing loads and loads and loads, messages not directed at Greeks, Germans or Arabic interpreters - but American photographers, and given out by unknown Western activists. Pure coincidence.
In welcoming refugees, Mrs Merkel encouraged a movement of people into Europe that her own country did not want, trying to solve the problem by increasing the rate of migration and pressuring other member states, who had no choice in the matter, into accept immigrants they also don’t want. Sabotaging their borders to ensure the integrity of the Schengen area has now led to that most amazing situation where any country that has wanted to remain independent of this displacement has had to act in opposition of Berlin and pushed them further to de facto independence, moreso than the Eurozone crisis and the 08 crash already had. When this all began I thought it wise to give the German politicians the benefit of the doubt and just chalk it up to them being inept and incompetent, but the more I looked into Merkel blocking the designation of the Balkans as safe or the push for resettling of African migrants before Merkel's official open door policy was brought upon Europe the more it became increasingly clear this was purposeful design whose purpose was ideological enrichment for the sake of enrichment, as they valued enrichment as an objective good to be sought, much as our left-wing ruling party and even our right-wing ruling party all determined that enrichment for enrichment's sake was necessary for its own sake.

Most prudent is there is rather nice illustration of this at work. Hundreds of migrants marched out of a Greek camp to cross to Macedonia, hoping to reach Sweden or Germany. German activists were spotted helping them cross by photographers. They even handed out maps and guides on how to reach Germany and how to bypass Macedonian border controls, by passing through a river. Their guide falsely claimed the river was dry, resulting in deaths by drowning. The Macedonian border control caught some of them, is searching for and deporting the rest. And again, unsurprising given this is not the first time in the last decade, whilst Merkel gives lip service to stopping migration and boosting deportation of convicted criminals she stops any attempt at stopping the migration. Also a German minister is taking the fall for a lot of coincidences surrounding the guides, though I wouldn't stop searching for more links on the chain. Especially prudent in light of leftist agitators in Calais doing much the same.

Quote
commando Norbert Blüm' orchestrates this action and 'only by chance' is the actual Norbert Blüm at the place where it happens - weird right?
top kek
The Macedonians are fuming.
Quote
Macedonian President Gjorge Ivanov on Friday angrily charged that his country had been forced to "pay for the mistakes" of the EU amid the record migrant influx.
"In the refugee crisis there is the humanitarian aspect and the security aspect," he told Bild newspaper. "In terms of humanity, Germany acted very well. But in terms of security, your country has completely failed."
He added that Chancellor Angela Merkel, with her liberal migrant policy, "has shown courage".
"But no one has the courage to say what still lies ahead. Between Sudan and Egypt alone, 20 million migrants are waiting to come to Europe. The refugee flow won't end, because everyone knows everything via Twitter and Facebook."
His country's border closure with EU member Greece has, along with similar moves by other Balkan states, effectively stopped the refugee influx to northern Europe but left tens of thousands stranded in Greece.
Ivanov accused the 28-member EU of failing to anticipate the massive influx via Turkey and then dithering in the face of the historic refugee wave.
"In the refugee crisis, we are now paying for the EU's mistakes, we have already spent 25 million euros ($28 million) of our taxpayers' money and had to declare a national crisis," he said.
"And what did we get from Europe in return? Nothing! Not a cent! Instead, we, as a non-EU country, are now forced to protect Europe from an EU country, namely Greece," which he charged had been simply waving through refugees arriving from Turkey.
He bitterly accused the bloc of foiling its membership hopes for the past 25 years and added that, in Europe's view, "we're nothing, not an EU country, not in the (visa-free) Schengen zone, not in NATO. No one wants us."
Story continues below…
Ivanov also charged that the EU had "completely lost sight" of security concerns as refugees arrive from war-torn Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan and other countries.
"If we had relied on Brussels rather than react ourselves, we would have been flooded with jihadists," he said.
Ivanov said his country had confiscated some 9,000 forged or stolen passports, but that EU countries including Germany had declined to share information on jihadist militants or biometric identification technology.
At this point where the amount of aid the UK has given has broken the billion mark, the European Union has sent €390 million. The largest economy in the world lacks heart or wisdom, or else uses its wisdom to pursue the fancies of a heart of iron. We've given more than Sweden, Germany, France and Belgium combined. We did not fuck up the Balkans, did not take over anyone's borders or take their sovereignty, we tried closing the smuggling rings whilst the EU did everything in its power to obstruct the European nations from defending their countries, even threatening them with sanctions. Yet it always goes down English signs written for American broadcasters, she who selfies with migrants gets progressive cred than he who helps those without electricity, and with progressive cred comes international financing - not for aid, but for open border activism. When all chekibreki is said and done there is no point in addressing external borders being compromised when the people who compromised everything internally remain in power, control the media and so can cover up enriching crime as usual and take all the depressing photos to stack search engine results with and label all opposition as violent extremism and violent extremism as isolated incidents to be forgotten, control academia and so can raise the next generation and dictate future political discourse and taboo. People have been greatly convinced by the failure of Brussels to protect the nations it made dependent, forcing them into independence. I always said you do not prove an Empire by destroying all internal dissidents, you prove it by proving it is worthy of being upheld. It has failed every trial.

There are issues with people pushing too far forward at a breakneck pace without having their roll slowed by conservative elements(which is the entire point of their existence, as far as I'm concerned; progressive elements push society forward, conservative ones keep them from tripping over themselves in their haste to improve. Idealists and pragmatists, basically, is what I want.), but the appropriate reaction is not to decide that the whole thing might as well be destroyed. You're starting to sound almost more reactionary than conservative or moderate, with the 'tear it down and start anew' stuff.
Well the whole issue here is that the progressives degenerate, not progress, the conservatives sellout, not conserve, and the reactionaries are only reacting and will clearly always be fighting only after they've long since already lost. No reaction is appropriate, as reaction is pushing back instead of pulling in a new direction, something actually required. Hence why the reset by cultural enrichment needs to happen as smoothly and quickly as possible, to pull Europe in a new direction.
I recall this tidbit just earlier and I'm definitely sticking by it, as it does seem to be the only way to finally stop northern Europeans from dragging everyone down with them. Even earlier I said the balkan fences would work, but they would be insufficient, they would need border patrol to be reinforced. They did reinforce it. Even that is insufficient, for as long as progressive statesmen, media group executives and multinational globalists can continue throwing toleran money and information at the weakest link in the European Union's armour. That's the thing about countries, or weird bastard federal-state-corporate-fiefdoms, they can survive war, economic collapse, natural catastrophe and population collapse, replacement or colonization, but they can't survive infighting and they certainly can't survive so many people who are ideologically predisposed to self-destruction of nation states they do not at all identify with.
I fully believe that excepting the nations that fully reject the big three deconstructionist and marxist movements the West has spawned (and truly, congratulations to those that did), the only way forward is massive cultural enrichment, stopping now would only mean not enough in the current year will have learned anything and we would merely be setting ourselves up for an even larger mass migration event of tens of millions or hundreds of millions a year, which is beyond the point of survival, or simply build a society that is not even worth surviving. A few more million now and for the next five years, the dissolution of the European Union or just most of Turkey moving to Stockholm and Berlin, any one of the three should be sufficient as long as the border situation outside of southern and central Europe is stabilized until the future current year of 2036, as after 20 years everyone should've gotten a native wife or brought their family over by then. And seeing as how Merkel still has her hold on the helm and is keeping on course all stellar, it will be ugly, but it should go over after a while and will help the newSwed learn. There is the question of what new direction they'll pull as they'll need to get over their ethnic differences and language barriers, which might take more than 20 years and might nonetheless result in them adopting marxist narratives as their descendants run amok through Central Europe everytime someone dies in Judea or Aleppo, so we might just end up back at square one for Germany and Sweden + enrichment but at the very least everyone else will be on their guard and have no success to cause complacency.

Eh fuck it, no matter what as long as I outlive Merkel and can keep making dank memes I'll consider it a victory

Theres one fixing your boiler right now LW.
I only have British identifying Vietnamese or Afro-Caribbeans fix my boilers, not a lot of Poles in my area (who fix boilers)
Also Poles have been here long enough that they see boiler work as beneath them and want immigrants to take their jobs for them

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1127 on: March 16, 2016, 06:28:02 pm »

Pax Americana's been eroded for quite some time really, and was pretty much nail-in-coffin from the end of the Iraq war being financed through debt bubbles that led to 2008 and the USA sorta just sitting around doing nothing in the Crimea whilst blundering around the ME

They'll still be the foremost power of the world for quite some time (short of Yellowstone erupting or civil war there is very little that can ever be done to change this) but we multipolar world now
But who are the other poles? Other than the Poles, of course.
The north pole and the south pole, obviously.

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Kot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1129 on: March 16, 2016, 06:55:14 pm »

The north pole and the south pole, obviously.
Not sure where scrdest lives but I can be the south-western Pole, which proably makes me not a Pole in eyes of many other Poles. Damn Poles, they ruined Poland.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1130 on: March 16, 2016, 07:08:54 pm »

Southwestern poles are a minor faction. Most important poles are north pole, south pole, polecat, and aspoles.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1131 on: March 16, 2016, 07:11:10 pm »

Jesus, it gets funnier and funnier. And more promising, too. I'm actually starting to hope.
Though if it's a No, I imagine the 2011 riots are going to look like a Saturday night in Cardiff compared to the what we'll see after the referendum.
Never place your faith in man, only Robot :D
But yeah, we might actually have won over enough MPs and shekel wizards to balance out international shekelists and Euroshills, we've definitely already gone past the part where we have a fighting chance. Have we crossed the crucial psychological point of fear? Who knows, that is the final hurdle. WE NEED ONLY FEAR FEAR ITSELF

Also stunning projections form Washington of what a post-EU Europe will look like

Rolepgeek

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1132 on: March 16, 2016, 07:20:59 pm »

Jesus, it gets funnier and funnier. And more promising, too. I'm actually starting to hope.
Though if it's a No, I imagine the 2011 riots are going to look like a Saturday night in Cardiff compared to the what we'll see after the referendum.
Never place your faith in man, only ME, GRIMLOCK :D
Fixed that for you
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1133 on: March 16, 2016, 07:25:35 pm »

Poland rules the universe cause all planets have poles.
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Kot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1134 on: March 16, 2016, 07:31:24 pm »

Twopoles. Poles are literally everywhere.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1135 on: March 16, 2016, 07:37:11 pm »

Twopoles. Poles are literally everywhere.
Less Pole is more Pole, we must Monopole

scrdest

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1136 on: March 16, 2016, 08:15:30 pm »

Too much polemics.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1137 on: March 16, 2016, 08:26:17 pm »

And not enough poleitical.

/badpolishjoke.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1138 on: March 16, 2016, 09:36:24 pm »

God I loved SMAC.

We're about due for a remake with all the faction leaders replaced with contemporary political figures, and all the technologies replaced with DANK MEMES.

EuroSpace Union - Commissioner Merkel Lel
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sputnik Federation - Comrade Vladimir Vladivimorich Vladin the Implyer
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sweden's Stepdaughters - Captain Sweden Ja
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
University of Super Tokyo - Senpai Shinzo Abarov
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The Lord's Eagles - Sister Donna Trump
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The People's House - Chairman Xi-Jin Ping
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Londonistan Finance - Bogolord Boris Johnson
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They would make a good base mod before jumping to the expansion pack with Italy, France, Israel, Turkey, Syria, space ISIS, space Al Qaeda e.t.c.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1139 on: March 16, 2016, 09:47:02 pm »

Space Bernie Sanders?

I mean you did Space Trump...
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