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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1104953 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1080 on: March 15, 2016, 01:16:53 pm »

I don't know whether he got the money or not and I don't even care, because he already did that stuff before the migrant crisis even started. But for some reason people here in Europe seem to think that ensuring he stays in power longer will mean less refugees. Which is idiotic. Erdogan is just one more tyrant, how should he lessen the crisis?
"People" who? Also quite obviously he's sheltering 3 million Syrians who aren't enriching Germany, regime changing him turns his country unsafe and moves the borders to Greece. The whole idea is once you reach Turkey you're supposed to stop but lol it doesn't matter either way, Merkel gives no fucks whatever happens whatever the weather

Hey Ant, how many people in the East would be down with de-unifying Germany? The idea appears more and more appealing to me...
Aw yeah rebuild the walls

Turkey is about to start a full out war with the PKK. Europe can expect many Kurdish refugees.
Also, Erdogan has proposed to change the law, so that journalist can also be labelled as 'terrorists'
Start?

It never stopped

Start war with Poland. Let them occupy East Germany. Job is done.
I, for once, agree with you, though I wouldn't mind if Ukraine started a war with Poland and let us occupy western Ukraine.
Poland calm the fuck down you can't take back all your clay yet

SaberToothTiger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1081 on: March 15, 2016, 01:20:48 pm »

polan wil get bak cuckgermun adn ukreni klai
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RedKing

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1082 on: March 15, 2016, 01:23:37 pm »

REMOVE PIEROGI
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1083 on: March 15, 2016, 01:27:22 pm »

There is no process for kicking dictators out of NATO, because NATO was about fighting commies, not defending democracy. Greece, Turkey, joined as military dictatorship.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1084 on: March 15, 2016, 01:28:38 pm »

I thought Poland already got back all of it's German occupied clay after WWII?

You Europeans need to get over those territorial disputes dating back upwards of a thousand years ago.

Of course, this is coming from an American and we've never lost territory over a war. edit: Well, I mean permanently lost.

There is no process for kicking dictators out of NATO, because NATO was about fighting commies, not defending democracy. Greece, Turkey, joined as military dictatorship.

Oh, didn't know they joined as military dictatorships at the time.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2016, 01:37:34 pm by smjjames »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1085 on: March 15, 2016, 01:51:10 pm »

I thought Poland already got back all of it's German occupied clay after WWII?
You Europeans need to get over those territorial disputes dating back up to a thousand years ago.
Of course, this is coming from an American and we've never lost territory over a war. edit: Well, I mean permanently lost.
Do you shill for free, Judas was paid (in hotpockets)! In seriousness though it does very much disgruntle me how enthusiastic certain Americans are to preach destruction of borders and sovereignty whilst they themselves are utterly without challenge on both fronts :P

Quote
The chairman of the Action Council Education, Hamburg University President Professor Dieter Lenzen sees because the level of education of many refugees to come considerable integration problems in Germany. The proportion of graduates about in Syria is within an age group with 15 percent, although approximately the same as in Germany with 19 percent, Lenzen said. "The problem is the 65 per cent of an age group that can operate only on reading comprehension level one by the PISA test." They were illiterate and basically could not read a bus schedule.

Lenzen drew attention also to a study by the National Economy Professor Ludger Woessmann. He also announced in May a report by the Special Council on "Integration through Education" in. The actual level of education who came to Germany refugees is still largely unknown. However, would result hints from various sources a fairly uniform picture, according to the post of the Head of the Centre for Economics of Education at the Munich Ifo Institute, Wößmann, for higher education and science policy journal "Academic".

Merkel's plan to convert them into good little progresiv: borken

Yo gonna culturally enriched son

Also why don't Germans let refugees vote in your elections yet? It's pretty racist m8 you need to be more civic nationalist, you can even balance out your german cons with shariah cons, it will be legit banter all day
I mean this is one way to crush intellectual elite, just fill your country with peeps who don't give a fuck about deconstructing why carbon nano-fibres oppress wolfkin and just want to work and get some

GOOD FUTURES AHEAD

Oh yeah and in Berlin a Turkish car driver exploded previously investigated for dealing drugs, forgery and illegal gambling. Berlin police has said he probably wasn't a terrorist, and whilst in the current year they're less believable than Hitler's resurrected ghost, I think that bomb was for him and not bystanders - that last bit a matter of opinion. More likely than not it's just one of your returned fighters setting an example to the local drug dealers to pay up or explode. I still remember back when we were shitposting about this in old European thread and people were spouting guardian memes surrounding ISIS's infiltration of refugee routes, genuinely puzzled a to why they would want to :P
Is this related in any way to Jihadists? Fuck knows, but it's a good as excuse as any to look back into old claims and see how they hold up. There is a dark side to cultural enrichment sadly, but there's no stopping this wild ride

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1086 on: March 15, 2016, 02:02:09 pm »

Oh yeah and in Berlin a Turkish car driver exploded previously investigated for dealing drugs, forgery and illegal gambling. Berlin police has said he probably wasn't a terrorist, and whilst in the current year they're less believable than Hitler's resurrected ghost, I think that bomb was for him and not bystanders - that last bit a matter of opinion. More likely than not it's just one of your returned fighters setting an example to the local drug dealers to pay up or explode. I still remember back when we were shitposting about this in old European thread and people were spouting guardian memes surrounding ISIS's infiltration of refugee routes, genuinely puzzled a to why they would want to :P
Is this related in any way to Jihadists? Fuck knows, but it's a good as excuse as any to look back into old claims and see how they hold up. There is a dark side to cultural enrichment sadly, but there's no stopping this wild ride

The article also says that they suspect a link to organized crime, which wouldn't surprise me since the description of what he was being investigated for sounds like Mob territory.
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1087 on: March 15, 2016, 02:09:17 pm »

berlin created by sexy swankydank polabian serbs
it gon be werle nao

all hail north serbia
the polan protectorate
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1088 on: March 15, 2016, 02:15:46 pm »

http://www.n24.de/n24/Nachrichten/Politik/d/8215406/zwei-drittel-sind--im-grunde-analphabeten-.html
Oh yeah, forgot this is the source for enrichment

Quote
He spent his first night with Lena in bed with his clothes on. "We woke up, and she wanted to kiss me, but I told her I can't,” he says. "In Iraq, we don't go out with women unless we are going to marry them.”
http://www.dw.com/en/finding-love-in-germany-a-road-to-integration-for-refugees/a-19113974
Absolutely moral cultural enrichment blanda up all in one

Cute story for all you topsweds <3

Also totally called it, man will always risk his life and will literally cross half the world in the pursuit of family
« Last Edit: March 15, 2016, 03:02:46 pm by Loud Whispers »
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Kot

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Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1090 on: March 15, 2016, 03:17:56 pm »

I thought Poland already got back all of it's German occupied clay after WWII?
Yeah, they did. They even got quite a lot of German-occupied German clay. In exchange the red fascists Soviet brothers of the Polish People just sort of swiped western Poland, effectively shoving the whole country a couple kilometers to the west gratefully accepted the gift of territory that gratefulness for their liberation compelled Poland to make.



We're pretty much over all that shit though. For example, why would Germany want back Königsberg these days? It's a Russian city now, there's no denying that.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1091 on: March 15, 2016, 03:34:39 pm »

I thought Poland already got back all of it's German occupied clay after WWII?
Yeah, they did. They even got quite a lot of German-occupied German clay. In exchange the red fascists Soviet brothers of the Polish People just sort of swiped western Poland, effectively shoving the whole country a couple kilometers to the west gratefully accepted the gift of territory that gratefulness for their liberation compelled Poland to make.
We're pretty much over all that shit though. For example, why would Germany want back Königsberg these days? It's a Russian city now, there's no denying that.
Why did Germany want Ukraine even though it was full of slavs or Turkey even though it was full of Turks? Simple, more clay, everyday
Spoiler: top kek (click to show/hide)
UR TERRITORIAL AMBITION PUTS US IN THIS POSITION MR AMBASSADOR PLS REVISE

Kot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1092 on: March 15, 2016, 04:13:18 pm »

I thought Poland already got back all of it's German occupied clay after WWII?
Yeah, they did. They even got quite a lot of German-occupied German clay. In exchange the red fascists Soviet brothers of the Polish People just sort of swiped western Poland, effectively shoving the whole country a couple kilometers to the west gratefully accepted the gift of territory that gratefulness for their liberation compelled Poland to make.
"couple kilometers"
We lost like 50% of the territory (go choke on Atlantic Charter Allies), including Lwów and Wilno, one of the two most important cities in Polish culture and history... I mean, if this was a game those would be marked as Victory Points, that's how important they were, and the fact that we fought for them so damn hard before was real salt on the wounds. We have really bad time giving up clay, possibly because OUR ANCESTORS LOOK UPON US WITH SHAME. We could theoretically agree that we don't have shit on Vilnius or Lwiw anymore, sadly, but that won't stop us from secretly wanting to make a glorious comeback, become superpower, kick Russia's ass (we hate Russians more than Germans these days, funilly enough, even if so slightly) and go into space or something.

Arguably, we came out of the whole thing better off, since the "Recovered Territories" were way much more industrialized and stuff, but still... why not both?

We're pretty much over all that shit though. For example, why would Germany want back Königsberg these days? It's a Russian city now, there's no denying that.
Well, the whole reasoning behind the postwar Poland were Polish borders from ~1000 AD, so yeah. Also, I was actually pretty damn suprised how Russian the whole Królewiec/Königsberg is. I mean, we don't really think about it a lot (maybe except the whole Strait of Baltiysk bullshit), but when we do we don't think of it as... Russia, but then it turns out it's hardcore Russia.

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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1093 on: March 15, 2016, 04:36:13 pm »

You should see China's clay magic, every day their history grows more claims to clay and water

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1094 on: March 15, 2016, 04:44:21 pm »

"couple kilometers"
We lost like 50% of the territory (go choke on Atlantic Charter Allies), including Lwów and Wilno, one of the two most important cities in Polish culture and history... I mean, if this was a game those would be marked as Victory Points,

Don't be salty. After the war it's not like you had the population to fill those territories anyway.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.
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