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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1099290 times)

RedKing

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #810 on: February 23, 2016, 05:26:01 pm »

So the UK is the EU's lifeboat?  :P
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #811 on: February 23, 2016, 07:36:07 pm »

Regarding Boris BoGo McRhubarb Toff...
I think... I think I finally get him. Politics is a game to him. It is a hobby. It is fun and games and banter. He loves it. He is a Tory as he was born a Tory and had Tory drummed into him via posh schooling.
It's worth point out that all of our MPs come from the same schools, except UKIP who are mostly people who never went to higher education. If this were the case then every MP would be BOGO BORIS and the world would be a better place

Fuck knows he is entertaining and likeable, and for some people, that is enough, regardless of his politics as people just don't give a shit about politics when Boris is RAHRAHRAHing about the place.
Also he gets infrastructure spending, and manages to make infrastructure spending sexy

"The nations, not so blest as thee,
Must in their turn, to tyrants fall,
Must in their turn, to tyrants fall,
While thou shalt flourish, shalt flourish great and free,
The dread and envy of them all.
Rule Britannia!
Britannia rule the waves.
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves."

I suppose that song explains the British mindset quite clearly. Nowadays things have changed and Google and CocaCola rule the seas, and I am certain in the future to come we'll have to fight for our liberties that have been eroded through sheer complacency once more, but while other nations must in their turn to tyrants fall by backdoor and sneaky minister all, our little ditch flooded as it is into its channel lets us do what we wish - Britons never, never, never shall be slaves. There is also a little verse on the end about how every time we are struck by foreign strokes we somehow have always managed to rise stronger and higher, which I just chalk down to Britons needing projects to rally around as the Germans do. Give me the choice between being the passenger of a cruise liner or command of a ship of the line, I will sacrifice comfort and luxury for my own steering wheel and charter. Amusingly due to a quirk in assignment rules in regards to having to have all Navy personnel assigned to a ship, Navy personnel assigned to Naval bases are assigned to "concrete frigates" and those sent away from Navy establishments are assigned to HMS Victory, the oldest warship in commission in the world - having served under Admiral Nelson in crushing Napoleon Bonaparte's fleet at the battle of Trafalgar.

Spoiler: obligatory (click to show/hide)
The lifeboat is fleeing the Titanic
Women and syrian children first

Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #812 on: February 23, 2016, 07:45:32 pm »

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
Except to, y'know, Normans.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #813 on: February 23, 2016, 07:52:12 pm »

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
Except to, y'know, Normans.
Before the Norman conquest the Church decreed that slavery be abolished and when the Normans arrived the Norman aristocracy abided by this starting with William the Conqueror, placing more and more restrictions on slavery until the practice was only done by Welsh and Scottish raiders or Corsairs, which was a pretty cool move by William. Good job Normans

Helgoland

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #814 on: February 23, 2016, 08:26:24 pm »

Y'know, on second thought I should've done the 'Brits will become slavs by immigration of Polish plumbers' joke.
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Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #815 on: February 24, 2016, 02:27:36 am »

Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
Except to, y'know, Normans.

And the English! It's pretty funny in hindsight since all the Brythons were either enslaved, killed off, or driven out of the country. Excepting the Welsh and Cornwelsh, of course, but they git the Anglic yoke on them too.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #816 on: February 24, 2016, 04:06:27 am »

Thanks LW that edit of the cartoon made me giggle
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #817 on: February 24, 2016, 11:41:32 am »

Belgium re-establish border controls with France ahead of planned removal of the migrant camps in Calais.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

MonkeyHead

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #818 on: February 24, 2016, 01:46:35 pm »

Spoiler: EuroBall (click to show/hide)

ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #819 on: February 24, 2016, 01:54:30 pm »

what is the small black ball?
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #820 on: February 24, 2016, 02:17:48 pm »

Cornwall?
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

miljan

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #822 on: February 24, 2016, 05:18:06 pm »

Hostage situation at Bella Italia restaurant in London’s Leicester Square
http://bnonews.com/news/index.php/news/id3688
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WealthyRadish

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #823 on: February 24, 2016, 05:35:27 pm »

Hostage situation at Bella Italia restaurant in London’s Leicester Square
http://bnonews.com/news/index.php/news/id3688

Looks pretty tame. It's one guy with a knife and one hostage, as well as two other people who are apparently really keen to finish dinner on their one night out, and probably some very frightened vats of ravioli. Is this kind of thing uncommon enough in Europe for it to go beyond local news?
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #824 on: February 24, 2016, 05:36:47 pm »

Kinda sorta. In yurop violent deaths are relatively rare.
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There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.
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