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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1103194 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #735 on: February 17, 2016, 08:44:30 pm »

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #736 on: February 17, 2016, 08:45:08 pm »


*Unspoilered, this is the ultimate takehome. Where all other arguments have been that the UK cannot be harmed - this is what happens if it is.*


This is what I wrote before in defence of the UK's large foreign aid budget. I am actually not spouting a popular belief in the UK, as most in the UK think we have spent too much, and not many agree with me on this at all, left-wing or right-wing, progressive or conservative. It is getting increasingly harder to justify increasing our foreign aid budget whilst we cut our own healthcare spending or defence spending for example.
In the event of Germany trying to damage the British economy the first thing that goes is the foreign aid budget as it is the only multibillion pound area of state spending that can be cut without affecting any Brits at all.
Migrants from Pakistan, Ethiopia, Nigeria, China, Syria, Afghanistan and Bangladesh have all been coming to Europe. Pakistan, Ethiopia, Nigeria, India and Bangladesh have been the top five beneficiaries of bilateral British aid. China (£27M), Syria (£1.1B) and Afghanistan (£182M) have all been massive recipients of British aid, with the addition that the UK has trained 350,000 soldiers and police in Afghanistan to help the country stop getting taliban'd.
And that's not even taking into account that whilst we gave aid for the Syrians being kept alive in Jordan and Turkey, the EU failed to deliver the billions of Euros it promised Erdogan.
All the people Britain helps, all the refugees and countries Britain is developing - they would get left on their own. Their people would have only one place to go: Europe. Britain would still control the channel, whereas Germany has already destroyed all of Europe's barriers and are already lost under the millions of annual migrants. To paraphrase Erdogan:
“We do not have the word ‘idiot’ written on our foreheads." Neither do the German people. The likes of Gunther? Unsurprisingly, it is the mind of the short sighted that brought us into one mess, it will be the minds of the short sighted bringing us potentially to another.

Just by British inaction would the EU be destroyed. We as Europol forumites have been surprised as the humanitarian crisis for Germany scaled from tens of thousands, to hundreds of thousands to millions by the year, currently the UK are all that's keeping millions on Europe's doorstep from either dying or desperately trying to make it to Germany, and hundreds of millions all across the world including in some of the most popular origins for European illegal migrants, Pakistan just being one example. No British aid = no home future = off to Germany in numbers that would be culturally enriching on a scale never before seen.
This is not even taking into consideration a British withdrawal from Eastern Europe and Germany, letting Russia do as they wish in the East. This is not even taking into consideration what would happen if the UK were to treat Germany the same way her ministers treat us (seriously why haven't you replaced them yet). Britain does not threaten Germany with existential destruction because Britain considers Germany as friends, and through a foreign policy which costs the UK a lot of money Germany is not broken by biblical migration and powerful neighbours. Hostility goes on a two way street, now you can safely bankrupt Greece and repossess her assets but you don't try to take on the UK like that. I don't even need to go into the past in how every time Germany went up in hostility to the UK the UK won, I'm talking today. Some people seem to be mistaken ITT when I argue for a path of Anglo-German cooperation, friendship and business, thinking that means the UK is in a position of weakness or supplication and that Germany has already won Britain. That is why I posted the earlier article about the difference between German Realpolitik and British politik, showing the difference between how Germany acted without caring for public or international opinion whilst Britain did for example. And today we see things like Germany forcing lesser nations to act in line via economic domination and regulation whilst the UK pursues a path of economic cooperation with as many nations as it possibly can, or in how Germany tried to solve its demographic problem with a humanitarian problem and just created two demographic and humanitarian problems whilst the UK took on more successfully by simply being honest and keeping its mission objectives well-defined and achievable.

In short Sheb, it is not a question of who will let us rule ourselves, it is a question of who will stop us. If Germany makes a move to crush the UK's economy and succeeds she will guarantee her own destruction, independent of whether the UK even makes any move to strike Germany financially or otherwise. And when it comes to power, there is no mistaking that Germany traded her power for wealth. The UK did no such thing, and still has her wealth. That is perhaps why I share my country's MP in his confusion as to why Gunther would actually dare to threaten the UK with crippling tariffs. It's like he's trying to make a powerful enemy out of a powerful friend, and this saddens me because I hate to see what German leadership is doing to Germany.

Speaking of, I am worried there is a real possibility that German statesmen and women either do not know or do not care about their economic relationship with the UK and the UK's relationship with refugees, or indeed Germany's ability to cope. Consider that I had to search many government statistics and such to get good numbers, there was not a single news source that posted everything in plain sight. Ha! Germany could actually commit to a trade war. Let's hope ignorance does not prevail, and let's hope my government does not stop their humanitarian aid.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #737 on: February 17, 2016, 08:46:14 pm »

Oh, and because I stumbled upon this whilst recollating my stats, this one's for you Vilanat:
Is the break-up of the EU good for Israel?
Quote
A more integrated EU would not bode well for Israel. There is by now ample evidence to support the prediction that the more power Brussels has, the more it will abuse it against Israel. This may be seen, for example, from the discriminatory labeling of settlement products and the financial support for extremist so-called humanitarian Israeli NGOs – in reality humanitarian racist bodies – which remain silent about the genocidal intentions of Hamas, the largest Palestinian party. The EU also interferes in the in the Israel-controlled Area C in opposition to Israel’s declared wishes, including financing housing for Palestinians there.

Double standards are at the core of anti-Semitism through the centuries. The EU has frequently applied these against Israel. The requirement to label goods from Israeli settlements – something not demanded for areas elsewhere which are similarly in dispute – made the EU bias against Israel so explicit that the Simon Wiesenthal Center gave the EU pride of place in its annual 2015 list of major anti-Semitic slurs.
I've made my opinion clear enough on crazy lefties who sort of surprised everyone by being the first to attack Jews alongside domestic Jihadists, I am trying for peace in my time but I walk the tightrope of multikultur where everyone wants to kill everyone

Also our government banned boycotting Israeli goods. Coincidence? I think not!
"Labour has criticised the new anti-boycotts policy as an “attack on democracy"
Well that's why our Jews went Tory lol
Also context on the boycott, the British government is not going to hunt you down and force you to buy Israeli goods, its forcing its own departments into not using state money to enforce their own political agendas. It's a very reasonable request, it's not the job of the NHS or transport or council to have a foreign policy, that's why we have the Foreign Office and Diplomats. God, it's days like these that supporting Israel becomes easy again. And fucks sakes, why do they want to boycott Israel in particular? Saudis are rolling all over from Yemen to Syria, beheading people on their streets and all, but they're cool? Cooouuuh, sure pays to have oil lel

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #738 on: February 17, 2016, 09:00:41 pm »

And for the love of all that is good and just, I forgot to add a single cheeki breeki to any of my posts!

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #739 on: February 17, 2016, 09:29:04 pm »

A quintuple post has entered your dungeon
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Baffler

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #740 on: February 17, 2016, 10:32:52 pm »

-holyfucksnip-

А ну, чики-брики и в дамки.

Seriously though;

Spoiler: Gas (click to show/hide)

I don't have the cojones to write a gigantic reply to this, but alternatives exist to Russian gas. This isn't completed yet, to my knowledge, but the European Union isn't stupid. They've mostly been content to let the Nigerian government work at it until now, but if it becomes a strategic interest I can definitely see this moving forward at a slightly less anemic pace. Recent drops in petrol prices have greatly damaged the ecomonies of the nations this pipeline would connect to Europe as well, and the much improved access to the European market this project would provide is a very attractive prospect to them.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2016, 10:35:29 pm by Baffler »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #741 on: February 18, 2016, 01:23:24 am »

А ну, чики-брики и в дамки.
CHEKI BREKI :D
In case you're wondering where LW got his numbers.
Only some of them sadly, a lot of them are all over the fucking place, takes more time to find them. But the sources for my numbers are all in the same sentence or just at the end so no worries

Seriously though;
-snop-
-stuff about gas-
I don't have the cojones to write a gigantic reply to this, but alternatives exist to Russian gas. This isn't completed yet, to my knowledge, but the European Union isn't stupid. They've mostly been content to let the Nigerian government work at it until now, but if it becomes a strategic interest I can definitely see this moving forward at a slightly less anemic pace. Recent drops in petrol prices have greatly damaged the ecomonies of the nations this pipeline would connect to Europe as well, and the much improved access to the European market this project would provide is a very attractive prospect to them.

Well, more complex than that. You get the idea, when it comes to gas-pipelines the UK and the EU would both benefit greatly from additional pipelines. Convince people that democracy is pointless and enlightened bureaucracies are the future by making the EU actually enriching, not just culturally enriching! Europe has already had thousands of years of that before the Commission!
But tying this all to the first, first point - the pipelines are not completed and so are still just... PIPE DREAMS


YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH


In other news:
Quote
"No one," he said on Feb. 9, "should forget how the Soviet forces, which were a mighty, super force during the Cold War and entered Afghanistan, then left Afghanistan in a servile situation. Those who entered Syria today will also leave Syria in a servile way." In other words, Davutoglu was telling the Russians: Get out of Syria; we are coming in. The Russians did not even reply. They just kept on bombing.
Top kek
I hope Obama really stops this madness. Turkish military is not actually that bad, and Saudi's air force is decent, but their ground forces are too reliant on American mercenaries because they don't trust their soldiers to not mutiny, which is a big problem when today's militaries work off of highly-skilled individuals operating heavy equipment that requires a lot of trust to operate and hold the knowledge of its maintenance. I feel like Mohammed bin Salman is going to learn one of those new adages like 'don't invade Russia in winter' or 'if you're the USA never start a land war in Asia' in that you should 'never ever take the sectarian b8.' Again, for those that don't know, Mohammed bin Salman is the youngest defence minister in the world with no experience or education in defence and is pretty much only in that position to give him legitimacy as crown prince.

At this point I don't think anyone has enough shekels and shillings in the world to fix the fuckup it has become.
Crossposting from the religion thread:
I find it odd that they acknowledge the Christian faiths broke each other but then also think warring with the Shia won't end up with the same fate for them ???
Well no that's different because that was infidels fighting each other but this is The One True Faith™ fighting infidels so it's totally different.
Never take sectarian b8
Obama bruh don't fuck this up
bruh

Saudi and Turk military closing ranks on Syria
BRUH

SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #742 on: February 18, 2016, 09:05:34 am »

currently the UK are all that's keeping millions on Europe's doorstep from either dying or desperately trying to make it to Germany, and hundreds of millions all across the world including in some of the most popular origins for European illegal migrants, Pakistan just being one example. No British aid = no home future = off to Germany in numbers that would be culturally enriching on a scale never before seen.
wut wut WUT

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As you can see, UK's foreign aid has amounted to a whopping ~14% of the total from all DAC countries in recent years, but you're claiming that your country is single-handedly supporting the world?

Speaking of, I am worried there is a real possibility that German statesmen and women either do not know or do not care about their economic relationship with the UK and the UK's relationship with refugees, or indeed Germany's ability to cope. Consider that I had to search many government statistics and such to get good numbers, there was not a single news source that posted everything in plain sight. Ha! Germany could actually commit to a trade war. Let's hope ignorance does not prevail, and let's hope my government does not stop their humanitarian aid.
lelelel, is this blackmail?

You sure know how to be checkki brecckki even when you're being totes srs: based UK is Atlas and Cuckgermans are going "NO ATLAS, PLS NO SHRUG"?

maximum kek
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #743 on: February 18, 2016, 12:36:14 pm »

You sure know how to be checkki brecckki even when you're being totes srs: based UK is Atlas and Cuckgermans are going "NO ATLAS, PLS NO SHRUG"?
maximum kek
Zero kek

As you can see, UK's foreign aid has amounted to a whopping ~14% of the total from all DAC countries in recent years, but you're claiming that your country is single-handedly supporting the world?
No, where did I claim that?
No really, where?
I'm fine with banter but lying me gets zero toleran from me. The United Kingdoms is not holding up the world and I never claimed it was, it's helping hundreds of millions of people out of a global population of billions.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This was the world population around 1900
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is the world population in the current century
The reason why the UK -> US path works is that the great influx of aid provides a cushion for drought/war induced famine and the evolution into foreign investment creates a self-sustaining, powerful and stable country that provides for its own people. They can turn their large population into power, to master their own future.
I've even already planned as much knowing that the UK path of development alone would be insufficient in the long run out of a population of billions, there's not enough foreign aid in the world that can feed, cloth, heal and provide for so many billions. They have to be given the infrastructure and education to build a future for themselves. That whopping 14% is just that, whopping. The second largest in the world where we're giving an Iceland's worth of aid away every year. If it gets cut that's 4 million Syrians no one else is providing for whilst Erdogan is pissed off that the EU failed to give him any money and hundreds of millions of people from the countries providing most of the illegal immigration to Europe already. It is ludicrous to expect that the UK can still afford the second largest aid budget in the world during a trade war with Brussels, as again, in Britain people like me are already having trouble justifying such a large foreign aid budget whilst we cut our own healthcare or defence. The impact to so many countries would be terrible; the cumulative effects of all the education, medicine, food and water going caput - Germany cannot afford nor handle millions, she would not survive hundreds of millions.

lelelel, is this blackmail?
Do you know what blackmail means? It is the use of threats or embarrassing information to force someone to do something. If you can explain to me how the UK would be able to commit to military operations and the second largest humanitarian mission in the world whilst at a trade war against Brussels then be my guest; this whole thing started off with German ministers trying to blackmail Britain into giving up the fight for independence on threat of crippling tariffs. Do you understand how consequences work? I understand the UK has powerful shekel magic but in the worst possible scenario where Germany finds the mechanisms to implement crippling tariffs, overcome their dependency upon the UK, force China, Turkey, Indonesia, Zambia, Nigeria, South Africa, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Mexico, the USA, Israel, Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, Japan into giving up their ties and trade deals with the UK - we are not an island, and what our shekel magic would fail to conjure would be cut first from our foreign aid budget. Pensions, debt repayment, defence, the national health service - these cannot be cut, so the foreign aid budget is cut. Which as a country like Germany who is losing her tax base to old age and cultural enrichment and no borders, would have no hopes in heaven of coping. We would have no choice but to cut our foreign aid budget, whereas Germany has a very clear choice to just stop employing ministers who try to blackmail my country.

SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #744 on: February 18, 2016, 03:21:08 pm »

I'm fine with banter but lying me gets zero toleran from me. The United Kingdoms is not holding up the world and I never claimed it was, it's helping hundreds of millions of people out of a global population of billions.
sry m8, I shouldn't have responded to hyperbole with more hyperbole.

That whopping 14% is just that, whopping. The second largest in the world where we're giving an Iceland's worth of aid away every year. If it gets cut that's 4 million Syrians no one else is providing for whilst Erdogan is pissed off that the EU failed to give him any money and hundreds of millions of people from the countries providing most of the illegal immigration to Europe already.
See what I mean? You are apparently implying – correct me if I'm wrong – that the UK is the only country in the world helping Syrians on the spot. And I say [citation needed].

Here's some citations for you:
This thing says that the UK's direct humanitarian funding into Syria was exactly 14.9% of the grand total in 2015, whereas this thing for the current year is mysteriously lacking any mention of your country (is this eurocuck propaganda or what?). You could also take a look at the statistics from UNHCR's Syria response program, where the UK's contribution is right behind USA and Kuwait in 2015, and again, strangely absent from the data for 2016.

No-one can deny that the United Kingdoms are shovelling imperial fucktons of money into Syria, but it's kinda hard to argue that you're the only ones doing anything.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #745 on: February 18, 2016, 04:20:45 pm »

sry m8, I shouldn't have responded to hyperbole with more hyperbole.
You didn't you cheeki monki

See what I mean? You are apparently implying – correct me if I'm wrong – that the UK is the only country in the world helping Syrians on the spot.
That implication is wrong

Sorted

I write 6,000 words stating exactly what I mean and explicitly tell people to stop trying to think or assume what I think instead of what I am clearly saying and people do it anyways

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wobbly

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #746 on: February 18, 2016, 04:22:17 pm »

As you can see, UK's foreign aid has amounted to a whopping ~14% of the total from all DAC countries in recent years, but you're claiming that your country is single-handedly supporting the world?
No, where did I claim that?
Claiming it as in literally claiming it? no. But seeing as you've decided to play dumb even though he quoted you inches above your response. Even though neither me or you think your dumb & you actually know what he's refering to, I decided to quote it again.

currently the UK are all that's keeping millions on Europe's doorstep from either dying or desperately trying to make it to Germany, and hundreds of millions all across the world including in some of the most popular origins for European illegal migrants, Pakistan just being one example. No British aid = no home future = off to Germany in numbers that would be culturally enriching on a scale never before seen.
P.S. You raise so many interesting points. You back your opinion with your sources. Why the need or desire for BS games?
« Last Edit: February 18, 2016, 04:25:21 pm by wobbly »
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Flying Dice

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #747 on: February 18, 2016, 05:03:42 pm »

Probably because being continually argued around is annoying when you're trying to argue in good faith. Much easier to weave in bants to get some satisfaction if people are going to misrepresent your points anyways.
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Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #748 on: February 18, 2016, 05:29:13 pm »

P.S. You raise so many interesting points. You back your opinion with your sources. Why the need or desire for BS games?
Because people have preferred to answer his posts in the past (before LW went full-banter mode) with "you're wrong, but I won't explain precisely why or post any actual sources that prove you wrong, instead I'll refer to basic principles of an ideology I believe in and "common knowledge" related to said ideology". Or find one single "weakest" point in his post and argue against it (usually without sources, as well, just on pure ideological principles), while ignoring the rest of it.

The banter has proven to be extremely successful at shutting down these kinds of responses, which undoubtedly has made it more fun for LW to post.
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wobbly

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #749 on: February 18, 2016, 05:37:34 pm »

Also makes it incredibly annoying to read for people who bother to take the time (such as me). You know, I was going to post something longer here, but I think I'll just wait for LWs answer.

Actually I will write something more. When your outspoken (LW is) & have a controversial opinion (in terms of Bay 12 LW does) & are happy to be insulting to people who disagree with your opinions (re read his post if you don't think he slings insults left, right & centre at groups of people with the opposing view point) then you're gotta expect to cop some flak back. Fair is fair after all.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2016, 05:40:33 pm by wobbly »
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