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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1070094 times)

da_nang

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6765 on: September 26, 2017, 04:22:41 pm »

Macron had his little speech on his plans for the EU.

As expected, he went full FURSSE. I don't expect the Nordics to be terribly enthusiastic about his plans.

Quote
European sovereignty

    A common European Prosecutor office, to fight terrorism
    To share cross files about Police and terrorism
    A European police Strike Force
    creating a European Civil Security/Search & Rescue force
    To get a European market of Energy
    To create a European Intelligence Academy to fight terrorism
    European military cooperation, France will open its bases, structures and corps to every other European Nation who'd like to contribute to the foundation of a common miltary construction
    Europe needs the industries, the military capabilities and all the equipment necessary to protect its sovereignty.
    Carbon tax on importations at European borders
    European program to support clean vehicles.

Better collaboration with Africa

    Migrations are the result of Globalization, and will continue, it's our challenge to accept it.

Reset of the European Agriculture subsidies policy

    In the other hand: a kind of common "Food and Drugs Administration" Task Force able to control industries and products (refereing to the egg scandal)
    Better fundings and transparency for research, and results of products security, like Glyphosate

Cyber economy

    founding a European 'DARPA' like agency to create new technologies
    a EU fund to invest in future European Google, Facebook and Co...
    More privacy protection, better protection for corporations infrastructures against (hacking and spying)
    Taxation of foreign corporations (GAFA) as much as the European corporations
    Copyright policy: being able to protect the authors and creators, not the service providers.

EU Economy

    Consolidation of European Industries capable to compete world wide against foreign companies
    Consolidation of the € and the €urozone
    Harmonization of Corporation taxes in the EU.
    a common EU budget, filled with the new common taxes, the existing High Frequency Trading Tax, and, why not, with Corporation taxes of members
    Create the grammar of the future European Social rules: a common minimum wage, a common Social Security system
    Social taxes must be based at the maximum of every EU country (context of detached workers).
    a common European school program, with programs shared and harmonized as soon as the secondary school, and common/interoperable diplomae

MORE DEMOCRACY, and let the European people choose what's good for them.

    Some governments don't want to do anything for the european community, they pretend that doing nothing will pay on for their own. They're lying to their people.
    Stop pretending that a European Elite knows what's good for the people, let the people chose what's good for them.
    German boogeyman is Budget transfers; the French boogeyman is imposed Treaties: both will come sooner or later. But it's up to the people to debate about it and to choose what's on it. Trying to stay on our own is a waste of time and armfull for European democracy.
    Elections with Transnational lists
    Transparency on commercial deals, having a European prosecutor to inspect that deals are loyal and fair.
    A commission of 30 members is not possible anymore. Everyone protect is country: 15 members would be more than enough.
    Someday: the UK might find its way back to the EU
    No country must be capable to block every other countries who want to go ahead. It's a fact: Europe is already multispeed, those who want to go ahead ought to be able to go ahead.
    New Cooperation Treaty, based on the Elysée Treaty, with Germany, Italy, and every other country ready to restart a Sovereign European Cooperation, next january in Paris.

Summary grabbed from reddit.

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Ceterum censeo Unionem Europaeam esse delendam.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6766 on: September 26, 2017, 04:30:31 pm »

What is FURSSE? I thought it might be a Finnish political party, but the abbreviation doesn't show up on the wiki page for Finnish political parties and attempting a wiki search for FURSSE shows nothing relevant.

You could say that's pretty Napoleonic in ambition.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6767 on: September 26, 2017, 04:41:29 pm »

What's a FURRSE?
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

da_nang

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6768 on: September 26, 2017, 04:42:15 pm »

FURSSE - Fourth United Reich of Socialist States of Europe.

Basically EU Federalism on steroids.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6769 on: September 26, 2017, 04:43:51 pm »

Is that a term used in extreme-right circles or somesuch? Never heard of it.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6770 on: September 26, 2017, 04:46:15 pm »

I think he just made it up. Just made it up and expected us to ask so he could draw us in, just like a budding godhead.
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da_nang

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6771 on: September 26, 2017, 04:51:13 pm »

I think he just made it up. Just made it up and expected us to ask so he could draw us in, just like a budding godhead.
You ever tried to coin something as an anonymous user on the internet? It's hopeless, nobody ever listens to you. :-\

I've used it a couple of times to describe the extreme pro-EU stance on /r/europe. It hasn't really caught on yet.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6772 on: September 26, 2017, 09:54:41 pm »

I feel your pain. I've been trying to push BEPHPB myself to refers to people who have extreme anti-EU stance, but I couldn't get it to catch on.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6773 on: September 29, 2017, 03:52:25 am »

Double post, but I found this midly intersting. If Germany had a FPTP system like the UK, that's what the Bundestag would look like and we'd be talking of a Merkel landslide:




(Legend is "first vote majority in the 299 constituencies).
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6774 on: September 29, 2017, 05:18:54 am »

Double post, but I found this midly intersting. If Germany had a FPTP system like the UK, that's what the Bundestag would look like and we'd be talking of a Merkel landslide:




(Legend is "first vote majority in the 299 constituencies).
Quote
Even if Germany had Britain’s first-past-the-post electoral system, Angela Merkel would be struggling this morning to form a government. With 33 per cent of the vote, her Christian Democrat and Christian Social alliance has suffered its weakest showing in 68 years – tempered only by the equal failure of the socialists.
Dunno m8

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6775 on: September 29, 2017, 07:32:33 am »

Well no, with FPTP and the same voting tallies, she'd have a huge majority (77% of seats). Of course, the voting pattern probably wouldn't be the same under FPTP (you'd see more tactical voting, less smaller parties), so it's at best midly interesting.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

SaberToothTiger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6776 on: September 29, 2017, 01:19:11 pm »

That's how FPTP works, LW. You can win with a ludicrously low amount of votes using gerrimandering and only the largest party gets seats. Merkelboiis could win with much less than 33% of the vote if that was the case, as it would be enough to simply get largest opponent vote % + 1 vote in every district and you'd have every seat in the Parliament. That is an extremely unlikely scenario, but much more likely than with using D'Hondt method or proportional representation.
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6777 on: September 29, 2017, 01:29:16 pm »

He knows how it works, his own country does it.

The last two elections from GB also kinda show how FPTP is not really that great.

In 2015, Tories get 11m-ish votes, or 36% of the vote, and get a (slight) majority.

Two years later, Tories get 13m-ish votes, or 40% of the vote, and have to bribe some fundamentalist terrorists to remain in power.
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Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6778 on: September 29, 2017, 02:53:34 pm »

I've said it before:

Proportional representation with a vote threshold and single transferable vote.

A vote threshold to prevent splintering of the political landscape and to prevent small parties from having disproportionate amount of power for the amount of seats they have (yes that is the case for small parties) and transferable vote to prevent strategic voting when it comes to parties that may or may not reach the threshold.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6779 on: September 29, 2017, 05:05:10 pm »

Pretty much what hector said
I love it when getting more popular causes you to lose. Top banter

I will say this, the one advantage is that having MPs tied to constituencies allows you to get rid of shit MPs. On the flip side it's also cancer, and I think it'd be more sensible just to split local representatives from national representatives, so you'd vote for a local MP and a national MP
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