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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1109358 times)

Loud Whispers

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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4651 on: January 08, 2017, 09:21:41 am »

That retired British general is forgetting one thing, the wildcard that is Trump.
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BorkBorkGoesTheCode

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4652 on: January 09, 2017, 06:32:18 pm »

"it was the year when they finally immanentized the Eschaton" Robert Anton Wilson
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4653 on: January 12, 2017, 08:08:27 am »

It seems that the UK is not the only country suffering from hospital underfunding and understaffing.
In the Netherlands, a decade of scrapping old people's homes and making old people live independantly for longer, combined with budget cuts on hospitals is asking it's toll.

A flu epidemic has forced hospitals in the south of the Netherlands to stop taking in any new patients, and even cancel surgeries, because all beds are full with old people with the flu, who are too ill to send home to their independant homes. Many of the hospital staff have also called in sick with the flu, further complicating the issue.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4654 on: January 12, 2017, 08:28:09 am »

Too many old and obese, not enough children

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4655 on: January 12, 2017, 08:31:40 am »

Too many old and obese, not enough children immigrants
FTFY
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4656 on: January 12, 2017, 08:40:39 am »

Too many old and obese, not enough children immigrants
FTFY
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4657 on: January 12, 2017, 12:04:12 pm »

With Martin Schultz leaving as president of the European Parliament to go into German politics, the Parliament is getting ready to elect a new president. No single European party has a majority. Normally the two biggest parties (the center-right EPP and the center-left SPD) make a deal to share this kind of important posts, but it seems to have broken down this time and genuine elections are going to happen, with every group presenting a candidate. You can have a quick rundown of their position on a bunch of issues here.

Of note: they all agree that we need a new treaty, and that Brexit will happens. Interestingly, the Greens went with a Brit.

While I lean Green, there is no real chance of a Green getting the job. I hope the two bigs party stalemate and end up settling behind Guy Verhofstadt as a compromise candidate, the guy is experienced (he was actually Prime Minister of Belgium.) As far as I can tell, apart fromAntonio Tajani, the EPP candidate (who was Comissioner for a while), all the others have no political experience outside the EP. He's also staunchly pro-European, and I really liked his performance at the Commission PResident debate.


-----

In other news, the ban on deep sea fishing was voted by the EP and is now an official European directive.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4658 on: January 12, 2017, 12:12:49 pm »

Quote
In other news, the ban on deep sea fishing was voted by the EP and is now an official European directive.
That's good to hear, it's what I usually harp on about
Quote
Seas At Risk welcomes the adoption by the European Parliament of the deep sea regulation, which includes a ban on bottom trawling below 800 metres in EU waters and the obligation to close areas to bottom trawling below 400 metres where vulnerable marine ecosystems are present or likely to occur.
The deep sea is home to a large biodiversity including fragile habitats such as thousand year old deep-water corals and sponges. Bottom trawling is one of the most common deep sea bottom fishing methods, which consists of dragging heavy fishing nets along the seafloor. In doing so, not only targeted fish are caught, but also other deep sea animals that are later discarded. In addition, the heavy nets destroy sea floor habitats with consequent major loss of biodiversity and alteration of deep sea ecosystems.
In 2007, the European Commission reviewed the existing deepsea fishing regulation acknowledging that the EU failed to maintain most deep sea fisheries within safe biological limits or to protect vulnerable deep sea marine ecosystem from destructive fishing practices. However, since then, the legislative process suffered many delays.
I like that they prefaced their 10 year long failure to pass the ban with their failure to protect the ecyosystem. Here's hoping the EU manages to enforce the ban in the next 100 years


*EDIT
Poland accidentally names nonexistant country as supporting its bid for a seat at the UN security council
« Last Edit: January 12, 2017, 12:43:07 pm by Loud Whispers »
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Baffler

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Jopax

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4660 on: January 12, 2017, 03:13:50 pm »

Well, seems it didn't take long for the leap from fake news to fake countries to happen. Eagerly awaiting for Nibiru to make it's debut in 2018.
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scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4661 on: January 12, 2017, 06:19:27 pm »

Quote
In other news, the ban on deep sea fishing was voted by the EP and is now an official European directive.
That's good to hear, it's what I usually harp on about
Quote
Seas At Risk welcomes the adoption by the European Parliament of the deep sea regulation, which includes a ban on bottom trawling below 800 metres in EU waters and the obligation to close areas to bottom trawling below 400 metres where vulnerable marine ecosystems are present or likely to occur.
The deep sea is home to a large biodiversity including fragile habitats such as thousand year old deep-water corals and sponges. Bottom trawling is one of the most common deep sea bottom fishing methods, which consists of dragging heavy fishing nets along the seafloor. In doing so, not only targeted fish are caught, but also other deep sea animals that are later discarded. In addition, the heavy nets destroy sea floor habitats with consequent major loss of biodiversity and alteration of deep sea ecosystems.
In 2007, the European Commission reviewed the existing deepsea fishing regulation acknowledging that the EU failed to maintain most deep sea fisheries within safe biological limits or to protect vulnerable deep sea marine ecosystem from destructive fishing practices. However, since then, the legislative process suffered many delays.
I like that they prefaced their 10 year long failure to pass the ban with their failure to protect the ecyosystem. Here's hoping the EU manages to enforce the ban in the next 100 years

It's good it only protect European waters too, can't have things like common interest and decency and environmentalism threaten french fishing interests in Africa or wherever they've decided to lay waste to the eco system these days.
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Baffler

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4662 on: January 12, 2017, 06:24:33 pm »

Well, seems it didn't take long for the leap from fake news to fake countries to happen. Eagerly awaiting for Nibiru to make it's debut in 2018.

Just be careful to report any people or businesses claiming to represent or hail from the nation of Taured.
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4663 on: January 13, 2017, 03:01:15 am »

Quote
In other news, the ban on deep sea fishing was voted by the EP and is now an official European directive.
That's good to hear, it's what I usually harp on about
Quote
Seas At Risk welcomes the adoption by the European Parliament of the deep sea regulation, which includes a ban on bottom trawling below 800 metres in EU waters and the obligation to close areas to bottom trawling below 400 metres where vulnerable marine ecosystems are present or likely to occur.
The deep sea is home to a large biodiversity including fragile habitats such as thousand year old deep-water corals and sponges. Bottom trawling is one of the most common deep sea bottom fishing methods, which consists of dragging heavy fishing nets along the seafloor. In doing so, not only targeted fish are caught, but also other deep sea animals that are later discarded. In addition, the heavy nets destroy sea floor habitats with consequent major loss of biodiversity and alteration of deep sea ecosystems.
In 2007, the European Commission reviewed the existing deepsea fishing regulation acknowledging that the EU failed to maintain most deep sea fisheries within safe biological limits or to protect vulnerable deep sea marine ecosystem from destructive fishing practices. However, since then, the legislative process suffered many delays.
I like that they prefaced their 10 year long failure to pass the ban with their failure to protect the ecyosystem. Here's hoping the EU manages to enforce the ban in the next 100 years

It's good it only protect European waters too, can't have things like common interest and decency and environmentalism threaten french fishing interests in Africa or wherever they've decided to lay waste to the eco system these days.

I'm fairly certain that Europe doesn't have jurisdiction over Africa for something like 50 years now.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4664 on: January 13, 2017, 04:15:11 am »

No, but we have jurisdiction over what what European fishers do in African waters, particularly when they do it to sell cheap fish in the EU.

Not to mention that the EU do have de facto jurisdiction over African countries which are dependant on trade with EU even as EU companies are raping their environment and robbing them of their resources, or which do not have the economic or political influence to challenge the EU or EU-based businesses over transgressions.
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Love, scriver~
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