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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1098333 times)

Vilanat

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3375 on: July 24, 2016, 12:14:45 pm »

What does the German law says, will the Syrian refugee that killed a pregnant woman be charged with a double homicide?
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3376 on: July 24, 2016, 12:18:34 pm »

In Reutingen, Germany, a man pulled a machete after arguing with a woman and killed her and wounded two bystanders. German authorities report that the man has been arrested.
According to eye-witnesses the guy went 'completely berserk' and when the police arrived, charged their vehicle with his machete. Then, someone in a BMW ran him over with his car, after which he laid on the ground and did not move anymore.

Newspaper now reports that it was a 21 year old Syrian refugee, unconfirmed.

Policeman standing over the downed berserker
https://twitter.com/46616C7365/status/757237196151726080/photo/1

Police now confirms the perpetrator is a 21 year old Syrian asylum seeker who was already known to them.

Moved from being in the wrong thread
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

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Erkki

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3377 on: July 24, 2016, 12:27:03 pm »

Store, no. But that also makes it easier for them to fall off the truck, officer, I swear, and other things like that. And when you're planning to murder a bunch of random guys you probably aren't too concerned whether the gun you use for it is legal.

Depending a bit on the case one is unlikely to get a license again for a while after "losing" a firearm... Really, most of the ones used in terrorist attacks and mafia can be tracked to Warsaw Pact or organized crime out of Europe. Plus, some of the deactivations in Europe are really sloppily done thanks to lacking legislation and monitoring. Most of the illegal firearms that end up in police hands still are tiny pocket pistols, Makarovs and such. I think here, the single most common illegal firearm found is actually the PPSh... lol. Point being, in this case the firearm was a modern one, but majority of the illegals are ancient and very few to none could be legally acquired.

But yeah I agree, if you want a gun, you can get a gun. No amount of legislation will change the fact we still have a million or so, nobody knows how many exactly, black market Kalashnikovs and other former military firearms within Schengen area. I've accidentally(honestly) came across several myself too, its not difficult to get one if you have cash and the will. And if you're okay with the risks.
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MarcAFK

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3378 on: July 24, 2016, 05:44:29 pm »

Store, no. But that also makes it easier for them to fall off the truck, officer, I swear, and other things like that. And when you're planning to murder a bunch of random guys you probably aren't too concerned whether the gun you use for it is legal.

Depending a bit on the case one is unlikely to get a license again for a while after "losing" a firearm... Really, most of the ones used in terrorist attacks and mafia can be tracked to Warsaw Pact or organized crime out of Europe. Plus, some of the deactivations in Europe are really sloppily done thanks to lacking legislation and monitoring. Most of the illegal firearms that end up in police hands still are tiny pocket pistols, Makarovs and such. I think here, the single most common illegal firearm found is actually the PPSh... lol. Point being, in this case the firearm was a modern one, but majority of the illegals are ancient and very few to none could be legally acquired.

But yeah I agree, if you want a gun, you can get a gun. No amount of legislation will change the fact we still have a million or so, nobody knows how many exactly, black market Kalashnikovs and other former military firearms within Schengen area. I've accidentally(honestly) came across several myself too, its not difficult to get one if you have cash and the will. And if you're okay with the risks.

Well yeah, Ppsh is awesome, who wouldn't keep one illegally? Can't let that German dictator take away your stool.     
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Though I would prefer a Dskh which is much more uncomfortable to sit on.
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3379 on: July 24, 2016, 10:11:10 pm »

http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/24/world/ansbach-germany-blast/index.html

Good thing that he wasn't able to get inside the festival, and geeze, it's been a sucky past couple days for Germany.

edit: Slightly better BBC article http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-36880758
« Last Edit: July 24, 2016, 10:14:32 pm by smjjames »
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Vilanat

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3380 on: July 25, 2016, 12:31:11 am »

"We don't know if this man planned on suicide or if he had the intention of killing others".

Apparently Bavaria's interior minster thinks it's plausible for someone to explode himeself in a restraunt full of people without an intention of killing said people. if it wasn't so sad, it would have been hilarious.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3381 on: July 25, 2016, 02:18:27 am »

God fucking damnit, this has to stop
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

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Pwnzerfaust

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3382 on: July 25, 2016, 02:48:44 am »

If the guy had been deported immediately when his asylum was rejected, this would never have happened.

Why do we let these people run roughshod over our rules? Enter legally or not at all.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3383 on: July 25, 2016, 02:55:52 am »

If the guy had been deported immediately when his asylum was rejected, this would never have happened.
International law forbids that which is why German court ruled that despite being denied asylum, the guy was allowed to stay in Germany until Syria is 'safe' again.

It might be an idea to start razzias, round up all refugees, and put them in camps under lockdown.

Then again, it might have stopped this guy, but the majority of terrorist attacks was committed by 3d generation, EU-born muslims.


EDIT: Meanwhile, in Turkey, arrest warrants have been issued for the arrest of 42 journalists, amongst whom former member of parliament Nazli Illicac.
By now, nearly 70 thousand people have been fired from their jobs, and over 13 thousand people have been arrested, and can be detained without formal charges for 30 days according to the new presidential law.

Amnesty International claims to have evidence that prisoners have been tortured, and some have been anal raped.

Meanwhile, in the EU, Juncker has stated that "Turkey will not join the EU anytime soon, and when they reinstate death penalty, they never will."
« Last Edit: July 25, 2016, 03:32:55 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Ukrainian Ranger

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3384 on: July 25, 2016, 03:58:44 am »

I like this kind of punishment for for doing small scale Stalin purges.

We will not take you in EU! (As if Turkey ever had a chance)
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Vilanat

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3385 on: July 25, 2016, 04:09:50 am »

International law states you can (Should, in fact) send them back to the first safe country they crossed into. unless they somehow managed to parachute themselves into Germany, they crossed several safe countries along the way. since it is pretty senseless to send them to other European countries, the best choice would be Turkey which even now is still being considered a safe country.

A simple calculation shows that Germany is now having ~48,600 Syrian refugees who hold positive views about ISIS ( 1 , 2 ). i need not remind that ISIS is far from being the only evil Jihadist organization in existence, that people who are against ISIS might still support other, just as evil, Jihadists organizations and that Syrians are not the only refugees/immigrants population which might hold positive view of ISIS/Jihadists.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3386 on: July 25, 2016, 05:49:02 am »

Meanwhile some members of german parliament are pleading for a complete ban on violent videogames, like CS:GO. The Munich shooter apparently spent a lot of time playing that, and had even been institutionalized into a psychiatric hospital to treat game addiction. German police have arrested a 16 year old friend of the perpetrator. They suspect him of not only knowing of the plans for the shooting, but also they suspect he aided them by making the facebook call to get people to the Mcdonalds. He had met the perpetrator in the psychiatric clinic, where they both were admitted for game addiction.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Orange Wizard

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3387 on: July 25, 2016, 05:53:48 am »

Meanwhile some members of german parliament are pleading for a complete ban on violent videogames,
Oh for the love of
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3388 on: July 25, 2016, 05:58:14 am »

Meanwhile some members of german parliament are pleading for a complete ban on violent videogames,
Oh for the love of

Yeah they keep trying everytime. Probably it will fail again though. Although Germany is already pretty harsh on gaming. There's not many countries where you can get locked up in a psych ward for gaming addiction as easily as in Germany.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #3389 on: July 25, 2016, 06:08:35 am »

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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479
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