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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1098572 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1410 on: March 25, 2016, 05:06:19 pm »

It can make it sound like shitposting though.
If it's a 10k post and it has slang in it, it's very evidently not shitposting

Baffler

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1411 on: March 25, 2016, 05:08:54 pm »

I've already done my part towards actually having discourse but pretty consistently every time I've spent a load of time making a well-researched, well-written post I get one sentence replies saying nothing at all
That's not even talking about the passive aggressiveness certain members show each other, I mean there's one at the top of the page but the whole Bernie vs Hillary thing before?

I wouldn't say it was completely wasted effort. I can't speak for anyone else, but you've changed my mind on more than one issue, and I've recalled and used information/means of presenting it I've seen here. It just doesn't really feel like a contribution to say "I agree with this post" when I don't really have anything beyond that to add.



In other news, European Commission officials have called for the creation of a 'security union' to present a more united front against terrorists and criminals.
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Flying Dice

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1412 on: March 25, 2016, 05:27:35 pm »

For what it's worth, LW is about 50% of why my perspective on immigration has shifted as much as it has.

I also have a hard time seeing him as a conservative. Always feels more like a progressive who's as pissed at the morons allegedly on his side as everyone else, but maybe that's just me projecting.
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1413 on: March 25, 2016, 05:36:57 pm »

Yeah, I quite like some LW's post, even if I don't agree with him on a lot of things, and I find some of your posts unreadable. I have more issues with xxseuzxx's brand of saying racist things then pretending he was shitposting. And generally,people praising shitposting.
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Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1414 on: March 25, 2016, 05:56:38 pm »

Thanks Baff, that means something. It's the disagreements that really help you refine and test whether your arguments hold merit, and just as it there isn't much gained by simply saying "I agree with this post" there is even less gained in saying "I disagree with this post" or "tl;dr lol"

In other news, European Commission officials have called for the creation of a 'security union' to present a more united front against terrorists and criminals.

Quote
Italy's Prime Minister Matteo Renzi called Tuesday for a "European pact for freedom and security.”
“Today they hit Belgium, but they also hit the capital of the European Union," Renzi said in a speech, vowing that "it will take months, perhaps years, but we will beat them."
Does Renzi seriously believe this is a threat that can be beat? They flow like oil, spreading out everywhere, and just as prone to combustion. This security Union would have to rely on the French and British security bureaus, meaning they would no doubt demand authority over them. Those bureaus are too much power for Brussels to wield.

Quote
In theory, a security union would help prevent such lapses, but Juncker’s demand was immediately attacked by UK Independence Party MEP Mike Hookem, his party’s defense spokesman, who said: “Juncker must be literally mad if he thinks people will sign up to a security union with the EU after it has shown itself dangerously incompetent on this issue.”
Quite so, the question is still up whether the EU acted out of dogmatism or malice when it hushed the Med murders of the Christian refugees or the return of foreign fighters happening before our eyes. When the Kurds, Arabs and Israelis deterred refugees due to infiltration and suicide bombing, when the Serbs caught ISIS fighters with execution videos on their phones, when fake Turkish passports began appearing in the Balkans? How is it even after ISIS fighters boasted about how the Schengen area and the open door policy the EU pursued made their return home so easy in order to plan their attacks the EU took no responsibility, and instead used their attacks as excuses to centralize more power?

Quote
Alexander Ritzmann, a senior research fellow at the Brandenburg Institute for Society and Security who has worked in the area of counterterrorism for many years, questioned the capacity of the intelligence agencies to address the issues relating to Islamic extremism, religious radicalization and violent extremism.
He said he was “amazed” that 15 years after the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers in New York, the West still “did not seem to understand” that terrorism was merely a “tactic” to achieve a specific objective.
Aye, I find it funny things like these. Like people who think Anonymous is a group and not a state of being, or that terrorism is an army that can be defeated, not too different to declaring war on spies. Bit pointless.

Quote
Meanwhile, NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg has condemned “in the strongest terms” the terrorist attacks.
“Brussels is the home of NATO headquarters and the capital of Belgium and Europe. It is also a symbol of a Europe whole, free and at peace. We will defend our values against the callous acts of those who seek to strike against them. We are resolute in our determination to prevent and defeat terrorism. We will do this by standing together, as open societies and as democracies,” he said.
The capital of Europe? Free? At peace? Terrorism will be stopped with open societies? And why aren't we pursuing democracy if we pay it lip service? Many, many questions, and it seems the obvious answer is Jens is just talking about the Commission's agenda in creating a single state of Europe, capital Brussels, borders open and power centralized. Well, of course given that this is the guy who as Prime Minister of Norway was a staunch advocate of Norwegian EU membership. The fact that he is an inspired disciple of Tony Blair just takes the icing on the cake hahahaha

In the darkest night you see people fly their true colours in the shadows

For what it's worth, LW is about 50% of why my perspective on immigration has shifted as much as it has.
I also have a hard time seeing him as a conservative. Always feels more like a progressive who's as pissed at the morons allegedly on his side as everyone else, but maybe that's just me projecting.
I'd still consider myself progressive if the definition of progressive had not radically changed as of recent times. Maybe progresiv really is useful in defining the difference. I don't think I could be conservative (the party or philosophically) even if I wanted to and I had to stop supporting the likes of the Liberal Democrats or Labour because they had just become too insipid to the point where either purple or blue became by far the most attractive choice.

For what it's worth, your lack of paragraphs often infuriates me, and occasionally I'm left mystified when you quote someone talking about about a subject I'm intrigued on and your reply is something mysterious and arcane like 'Lobster haram! Ban all lobster!', but overall, I've learned a hell of a lot from reading your posts and I greatly appreciate the effort you put into making them. Hell, it was reading some of your posts that made me put in the effort to try to source my own arguments thoroughly and develop them a little beyond 'Because nyah!'.
Read the bits preceding lobster enrichment

The lobster bit was just a joke on Sweden, fishing and enrichment narratives mixed together

See I didn't want to look dumb replying to Toady's post but sometimes I have no clue what is shitposting and what isn't.
Saying lots of things that exist to perpetuate and mutate memes, not transfer information

Also I can't imagine you being progressive, in part because I can't imagine you writing anything that doesn't sound like you should have a title like 'The Crazed Hierophant' as opposed to an actual name.
EDIT: I left half a dozen spelling errors in this thing and they make me feel terrible. Also on reflection, progressive-LW warning us all of a coming Trumpocalypse doesn't seem so impossible.
Well I don't see why you would think that as there is literally nothing wrong with multiculturalism, we should really think of the great benefits to child sexuality development that sexual revolution and diversity will bring to the oppressive homogenous societies of Europe and do you honestly believe the UK can survive without accepting its social responsibilities in housing Eastern Europeans, whom it brutally colonized with Western capitalism against communists just trying to defend themselves from international banking cartels? Come off it, what we really need to do is disband our Regular Army, cease hiring Gurkhas, decommission all of our nuclear weapons and warships (which will be converted into hospital ships), such weapons have no place in a civilized society. We already have the largest foreign aid budget in the world but have we considered accepting more refugees too? How can we say no to someone who wants to live in our country simply because they were not born in the Commonwealth and can't access legal channels, extralegal migrants have needs too and the very definition of discriminating against someone simply because they were born somewhere else is xenophobia, prejudice against foreigners simple as. Oh, maybe we should keep the minesweepers and science vessels, they're still good. Though we should not conduct any oil or mineral exploration in the arctic and we should get China and Russia to agree to not do it too, and why are we even in the Falklands, it should belong to the indigenous natives whom we conquered.
P.s. how is Trump not Hitler?

Baffler

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1415 on: March 25, 2016, 06:49:10 pm »

Quote
Italy's Prime Minister Matteo Renzi called Tuesday for a "European pact for freedom and security.”
“Today they hit Belgium, but they also hit the capital of the European Union," Renzi said in a speech, vowing that "it will take months, perhaps years, but we will beat them."
Does Renzi seriously believe this is a threat that can be beat? They flow like oil, spreading out everywhere, and just as prone to combustion. This security Union would have to rely on the French and British security bureaus, meaning they would no doubt demand authority over them. Those bureaus are too much power for Brussels to wield.

Unifying the organizations would be pretty fucked, but better coordination between European security services probably would be helpful. Sure the French and British partners would be doing most of the heavy lifting but if they've got formalized cooperation with the (currently) less prepared organizations it would give them, at the absolute worst, a better line to get the Belgians or the Dutch or whoever pointed in the right direction. Something makes me think "more cooperation by existing agencies" is not what's meant by this, so it's kind of a moot point, but the idea isn't completely unsalvageable.

Quote
In theory, a security union would help prevent such lapses, but Juncker’s demand was immediately attacked by UK Independence Party MEP Mike Hookem, his party’s defense spokesman, who said: “Juncker must be literally mad if he thinks people will sign up to a security union with the EU after it has shown itself dangerously incompetent on this issue.”
Quite so, the question is still up whether the EU acted out of dogmatism or malice when it hushed the Med murders of the Christian refugees or the return of foreign fighters happening before our eyes. When the Kurds, Arabs and Israelis deterred refugees due to infiltration and suicide bombing, when the Serbs caught ISIS fighters with execution videos on their phones, when fake Turkish passports began appearing in the Balkans? How is it even after ISIS fighters boasted about how the Schengen area and the open door policy the EU pursued made their return home so easy in order to plan their attacks the EU took no responsibility, and instead used their attacks as excuses to centralize more power?

This is where the problem lies. This thing will probably go through to sink or swim in some with minimal attention.

Quote
Alexander Ritzmann, a senior research fellow at the Brandenburg Institute for Society and Security who has worked in the area of counterterrorism for many years, questioned the capacity of the intelligence agencies to address the issues relating to Islamic extremism, religious radicalization and violent extremism.
He said he was “amazed” that 15 years after the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers in New York, the West still “did not seem to understand” that terrorism was merely a “tactic” to achieve a specific objective.
Aye, I find it funny things like these. Like people who think Anonymous is a group and not a state of being, or that terrorism is an army that can be defeated, not too different to declaring war on spies. Bit pointless.

I'm very, very skeptical of this 'Security Union' thing. Much of the good that could come from it, we already do without it. And it's not as if if we just kill enough radicals, they'll all decide to pack up, go home, and stop being radical. It doesn't work that way. We need robust defences, certainly, but we also need to get a real grip on our foreign policy with regard to the Arab world, and I don't mean just ignoring it until we can't afford to. This Syrian shit where we've effectively, now that Russia have come in, been propping up both sides of a civil war, is schizophrenic.

I know Murrica is just as guilty of this kind of thinking, hell we invented it, but the intelligence community knows it isn't a useful attitude. Sure some of them couldn't be happier to have more power, but I can always get a laugh out of things like this. It reminds me of the hundreds of Abrams tanks the army doesn't want but Congress makes them buy so they can keep the factory that builds them open. Not helpful for the mission, but certainly helpful for the people running it.
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Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
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Shadowlord

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1416 on: March 25, 2016, 06:49:50 pm »

TBPH, I stopped reading LW's posts for the most part - but I've never reported them (our any of you folks). After all, I don't know for sure whether my perspective and beliefs are accurate, whether yours are, or whether the truth lies elsewhere (and if so, where).

I run into three problems with LW's posts: First I tl;dr on postnoughts, then I fail at understanding paragraphs composed of what looks like jibber-jabber, then if I do see something that doesn't match the world as it appears to me, it feels like it takes entirely too long to try to find out whether or not it's just a conspiracy theory, especially when it doesn't even affect me.

Anywho, typing stuff on phone wastes tons of time too. :V
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Magistrum

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1417 on: March 25, 2016, 07:02:27 pm »

I too, must express that Loud Whispers posts can get a bit cryptic sometimes... That's why I posted "TL;DR: Go home Loud Whispers, you are drunk.".

Loud Whispers, would you take the effort to explain some of the words you use? I can get that youropoor is some random meme or joke for Europe, but what is guac?
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Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1418 on: March 25, 2016, 07:03:05 pm »

Terrorism does not "need to be stopped" in Europe, because Terrorism is not a major problem in Europe.

No seriously, if it wasn't for the disproportionate media attention that the select few successful terrorist attacks get more than 99.99999% of Europeans would be in no way affected by terrorism. 

Just let the security agencies do their job and continue to eradicate IS in Syria, Iraq and Libya.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1419 on: March 25, 2016, 07:10:15 pm »

Reminds me of that one american soldier baffled by how many pairs of boots he kept getting given, 3 pairs of boots on a monthly basis even though he was still wearing his first pair and there was nothing wrong with them

Also that one joke about how the US soldier talking to the Russian soldiers begins talking about how much more funding the US Army gets and how they get 5k calories of food a day and the Russian soldier blurts out "that's impossible, no man can eat that much potato."

Going back, consider the consequences of the EU gaining authority over the British or French security bureaus (or heavens forbid, both). The Scandinavian ones are good but small, the Belgian ones small, legally limited and mired in the political finagling of their unusual governance, and the Germans and Dutch have been using private companies to trawl social media for dissidents already, I don't want to know what Brussels would be capable of if it managed to gain control over the mass surveillance capabilities of one of the five eyes without any constitutional limits or oversight at all. Even if they "only" gain control over France's sophisticated security bureaus, the potential to use France's heightened security state sanctioned powers being used against Europeans living in other countries who voted against these measures in their home country will be as all other resources, powers and sovereignties the EU has taken - "common."

Much better to keep cooperation between the effective bureaus who are uncompromised and the relevant local authorities who will execute arrests, if they can even find the blood buggers happily running around Merkel's Europe :/

Well I don't see why...
P.s. how is Trump not Hitler?
Not even gonna comment on this unholiness over than to say that it makes you literally Shitler.
This is not even my final form
Jeremy Corbyn was right
The UK must dissolve
Make the Republic equal again

I'm very, very skeptical of this 'Security Union' thing. Much of the good that could come from it, we already do without it. And it's not as if if we just kill enough radicals, they'll all decide to pack up, go home, and stop being radical. It doesn't work that way. We need robust defences, certainly, but we also need to get a real grip on our foreign policy with regard to the Arab world, and I don't mean just ignoring it until we can't afford to. This Syrian shit where we've effectively, now that Russia have come in, been propping up both sides of a civil war, is schizophrenic.
Also making a border with Syria was a very clever move and whoever stabilized Europe with this brilliant idea should get a medal, bravo nolan
That was sarcasm hehe, doesn't help if terrorists have literally been having pleasant strolls through the European countryside unopposed home. OR IF DANES AND SWEDES WOULD STOP BRINGING THEM BACK

Loud Whispers, would you take the effort to explain some of the words you use? I can get that youropoor is some random meme or joke for Europe, but what is guac?
Guacamole (Spanish: [wakaˈmole]; or[ɡwakaˈmole]; can informally be referred to as "guac" in North America) is an avocado-based dip or salad first created by the Aztecs in what is now Mexico. In addition to its use in modern Mexican cuisine, it has also become part of American cuisine as a dip, condiment and salad ingredient. Guacamole dip is traditionally made by mashing ripe avocados and sea salt with a molcajete (mortar and pestle). Some recipes call for tomato, onion, garlic, lemon or lime juice, chili or cayenne pepper, coriander or basil, jalapeño, and/or additional seasonings. Some non-traditional recipes call for sour cream as the main ingredient. Guacamole is also a word for avocado in some areas in Latin America.

Terrorism does not "need to be stopped" in Europe, because Terrorism is not a major problem in Europe.
No seriously, if it wasn't for the disproportionate media attention that the select few successful terrorist attacks get more than 99.99999% of Europeans would be in no way affected by terrorism. 
Just let the security agencies do their job and continue to eradicate IS in Syria, Iraq and Libya.
Hahahahahahahahahah
The primary damage is not to kill, but to inflict as much damage and disruption as possible and the media covering their eyes would just make things worse (as if they're not apologetic enough, the filthy gits). And we're not even talking about whether this is just a symptom of as Merkel puts it lovingly, losing the "social core" :)
That's why terrorists got clever in Europe, targeting travel infrastructure and entertainment centres. Sneaky breeki jihadis...!

But lol "terrorism does not need to be stopped", it'd be bad enough if they were just mass murderers but they have political ambitions to :P

SirQuiamus

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1420 on: March 25, 2016, 07:22:34 pm »

I'd still consider myself progressive if the definition of progressive had not radically changed as of recent times. Maybe progresiv really is useful in defining the difference. I don't think I could be conservative (the party or philosophically) even if I wanted to and I had to stop supporting the likes of the Liberal Democrats or Labour because they had just become too insipid to the point where either purple or blue became by far the most attractive choice.
Are you kidding? You've been raving like Fred Phelps about the effete weakness and moral degeneracy of European civilization for the last few pages, and you don't even think you could be a conservative? 

The big EU pillars raise their children to have no loyalty to anything (and if you're really poz'd begin teaching marxist narratives whilst they're young), their parents raise their children to have no loyalty to anything (if they raise them at all or are not just a broken, divorced family because even husband and wife have no loyalty) and so their children grow up without guidance and with serious identity issues (gotta get that white guilt Sweden for all the Finngolians you killed) in an environment full of people who have families, have their traditions, have strong work ethics, strong morals and ambitions unbridled by a fear of their own success. These children will see three paths to walk, suicide, joining the progresiv bandwagon or taking the strong horse offered by migrant conservatives. Just look at who the converts are in Germany, France of UK - they all have commonality in being mostly white, mostly young, mostly women, mostly repulsed by how their own culture offers them nothing but sexual and substance degeneracy alongside vapid materialism.
Quote
LOYALTY MARXIST LOYALTY BROKEN DIVORCED FAMILY HUSBAND AND WIFE LOYALTY IDENTITY ISSUES WHITE GUILT FAMILIES TRADITIONS WORK ETHICS MORALS AMBITIONS SUCCESS CONSERVATIVES REPULSED SEXUAL DEGENERACY MATERIALISM

You're Conservatively CorrectTM enough to deliver a keynote at CPAC.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1421 on: March 25, 2016, 07:37:54 pm »

Are you kidding? You've been raving like Fred Phelps about the effete weakness and moral degeneracy of European civilization for the last few pages, and you don't even think you could be a conservative?
Yes
I'm not talking about conservation of anything and my conservatives support this

Quote
LOYALTY MARXIST LOYALTY BROKEN DIVORCED FAMILY HUSBAND AND WIFE LOYALTY IDENTITY ISSUES WHITE GUILT FAMILIES TRADITIONS WORK ETHICS MORALS AMBITIONS SUCCESS CONSERVATIVES REPULSED SEXUAL DEGENERACY MATERIALISM
You're Conservatively CorrectTM enough to deliver a keynote at CPAC.
Ew stop culturally appropriating PC memes

The comparison with Fred Phelps rings quite hollow when any 'degeneracy' he calls out seems to be a lack of loyalty to one's constituents and countrymen, a lack of respect for the hardships and achievements of one's forebears, and a lack of vision or concern for one's country's future. I certainly haven't seen him raging about the evils of homosexuality or pre-marital sex, at least.
Stop being sensible and actually reading what I said, you should be painting strawdoods of me for ebin signalling

Rolepgeek

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1422 on: March 25, 2016, 08:32:04 pm »

Nah, but the sexual deviancy/degeneration bit showed up in the talks I had to exit from when we were discussing incest&co. laws previously.

You speak like a conservative preacher, even if you don't hold the views of one, Loud Whispers. A very meme-positive conservative preacher, but one nonetheless. Just need more Jeebus and/or Reagan references. :P
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Magistrum

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1423 on: March 25, 2016, 09:16:23 pm »

I know what is guacamole... I know about Latin America culture... I even speak Spanish...
* Magistrum goes away to a corner complain about never being understood
Communicating is hard...

I was asking what you meant to say by guac. Is that some kind of offense?
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smirk

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related news thread
« Reply #1424 on: March 25, 2016, 09:55:50 pm »

I know what is guacamole... I know about Latin America culture... I even speak Spanish...
* Magistrum goes away to a corner complain about never being understood
Communicating is hard...

I was asking what you meant to say by guac. Is that some kind of offense?

From a previous LW post...
Just guac my shit up fam it's guaced, it's gonna get more guaced and it's all because yuropoors are dogmatically entrenched from the bottom to the top to guac all day
>belgians
...you could replace every instance of 'guac' in that sentence with 'fuck' and I'm pretty sure the meaning would stay exactly the same. With the possible exception of "to guac all day", which might be closer to "to fuck around all day". It's best not to worry too hard about pinning down specific definitions for those kinds of words. There'll be a new and edgier one in a week or so, and the only important part about them is that they're all ambiguously offensive.
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