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Author Topic: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side  (Read 16557 times)

Skyrunner

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EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« on: December 29, 2015, 01:33:37 pm »

EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR
----

    Strike the earth! Everyone's heard that old phrase at least once. Countless farmers since the first farmer to ever farm has done so, and not once has the earth struck back.

But the evil archmage Archie, shortly before being dispatched by a crack team of three people wielding sharp sticks of various designs and a perpetually annoyed cleric, cast a pretty strong curse on the Earth itself.

It wasn't even an evil curse, really. It just gave it sentience ("The Curse of Sentience," which five out of five wizards rate as second-worst-named-spell-ever, closely followed by the "The Wriggle Spell," which actually causes a sensation of tickling shortly followed by severe death). And sentient creatures tend not to appreciate being scratched with metal blades, having roots grow in it, and constantly being dug through in search of minerals.  So the earth struck back! And before you know it, half the world is starving and/or participating in hunter-and-gatherer lifestyles. It was doubtlessly humanity's darkest hour.


This is where you come in! Armed with the latest* herbology knowledge, and incredible farming skils** to boot, you feel determined... determined to grow the mystical-but-also-quite-lost Herb of Lilianne, and put the Earth to rest once and for all!



But first, what is your name?
> My name is ...

---


(four players!)

Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)


* all knowledge gleaned from the dusty tome titled Ye Olde Booke ofe Excessive Es ande Herbse.

** You think there's a rusty metal hoe in the cupboard. You might even have used it a few times.

Spoiler: random note (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 04, 2016, 08:16:03 am by Skyrunner »
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Flying Dice

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2015, 02:48:12 pm »

Roland
Group B
DETERMINATION
« Last Edit: December 29, 2015, 02:55:13 pm by Flying Dice »
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Aurora on small monitors:
1. Game Parameters -> Reduced Height Windows.
2. Lock taskbar to the right side of your desktop.
3. Run Resize Enable

lawastooshort

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2015, 02:57:13 pm »

Nigel, A, Devotion.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2015, 02:59:07 pm by lawastooshort »
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darkpaladin109

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2015, 03:09:21 pm »

Mergol
Group C
Destiny
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Nirur Torir

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2015, 03:20:29 pm »

Phil
Group C
Devotion
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adwarf

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2015, 05:03:43 pm »

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Coolrune206

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2015, 10:37:42 pm »

Urist
Group C
Determination

((Do I get bonus points for understanding all of your Mabinogi references [And by the way, it's Ferghus not Fergus.]? And for adoring the concept of this game?))
« Last Edit: December 29, 2015, 11:02:42 pm by Coolrune206 »
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Fniff

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2015, 10:47:56 pm »

Chara
Group A
The idea that the cheese plant may be harvested by the mouse one day... Fills me with DETERMINATION

Skyrunner

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2015, 03:55:19 am »

(Flying Dice) Roland:
[4]
Today's a good day to STRIKE THE EARTH! Said earth is a little restless right now, but nothing too far from the norm. The earth is currently slightly suspicious of your rusty iron hoe.

Will you take the fight to the dirt?

(+25% to combat rolls next turn)

(lawastooshort) Nigel:
[3]

The earth rumbles suspiciously. It's neither friendly nor hostile right now.

Will you take the first step, or rather respect the grounds' feelings and maybe go scavenge for herbs?

(+0% to combat rolls.)

(darkpaladin) Mergol:
[1]

The earth shifts and churns. It doesn't seem like a good idea to farm today.

Do it anyways?

(-50% to combat rolls)

Nirur Phil:
[6]

Hmm... Quite suspicious. The ground is entirely quiet right now. It's not even budging!

Go for it anyways?

(+100% to combat rolls...?)


How combat works:

You are quite literally fighting against the dirt and soil in the ground! This is an adversarial roll. Each side tallies up their bonuses and penalties, then rolls a dice and compares the result. For example:

John Doe, Farmer Extraordinaire: [2](+50% Feels Good bonus)(-25% Rusty penalty)(+15% Skill) = 2.6

Loamy Dirt: [6](-50% Loamy)(-25% Was Cropped Before)(+50% Determination)(-10% Drains Well) = 3.0

The Loamy Dirt rears up and slaps John Doe's rusty iron hoe, dealing 1 durability damage to it. It has 1/8 durability left.

Spoiler: statuses (click to show/hide)
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"Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confoud, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what often appears to be a positively gleeful relish ... but they never lie" -- Look To Windward

O.Wilde

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2015, 03:56:24 am »

PTW
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What could pre-industrial societies do, run a bunch of cattle off a cliff? Boo fucking hoo I'll be crying for them while I just dump these litres of acidic chemicals into this river. Scrubs.

Empiricist

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2015, 05:29:56 am »

((This is amazing, PTW.))
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Quote from: Caellath (on Discord)
<Caellath>: Emp is the hero we don't need, deserve or want

Flying Dice

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2015, 07:08:32 am »

The sight of the soil, so nearly quiescent... it fills Roland with determination.

Dig... a furrow! With the hoe.
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Aurora on small monitors:
1. Game Parameters -> Reduced Height Windows.
2. Lock taskbar to the right side of your desktop.
3. Run Resize Enable

ATHATH

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2015, 12:01:25 pm »

Name: Alchemist Joe (just Joe for short)
Group C
Devotion

Kneel down, and gently and slowly start digging a furrow while saying soothing words.
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
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*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

Skyrunner

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Re: EXTREME FARMING SIMULATOR and herbs on the side
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2015, 12:08:11 pm »

Unfortunately I think I can only handle four people at once :( Maybe if other people mess up and die..?
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bay12 lower boards IRC:irc.darkmyst.org @ #bay12lb
"Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confoud, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what often appears to be a positively gleeful relish ... but they never lie" -- Look To Windward
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