Find water. Then place the tome a few feet away from the water's edge, and jump in.
[1] Dee trips over his flaming robes; as he falls, the Tome of Summoning escapes his loose grip and flies through the door. He doesn't see what happens to it—his head is on fire—but he hears a splash.
If he doesn't stop rolling ones, Dee will burn to death next turn.Maybe I'm going about this wrong. What if I do it passive-aggressively? That's something for later, though. Unless...
Insanity Beam the stone that's holding the statue down (it's a denizen of the dungeon, right?). Since it can't move, its only way to leave is to spontaneously self-destruct.
[2] no
Go down the passage behind the guard post.
[4] Sylvarris sprints down the passage. Before he makes it ten feet, he encounters goblins! They're travelling in single file—the passage is pretty narrow—so he can't tell how many there are, but he
can tell that they're angry!
Go the the southern room!
[4] Joe walks through the door. He don't walk with a stumble; he don't walk with grace. He walks through the door normally—he's just that dull.
Looking around, it seems to be a storage room; the bottom-left corner is full of crates, with a few more scattered around. The room is almost as dull as Joe is! There is a door to the
south.
LEFT!
[4] Kies uses his DRACONIC SPEED to move through an entire room in one tu—wait, no, anyone could do that.
Kies walks through the statue room, because this is the boring turn; since it's the boring turn, anyone who submits an interesting action suffers a -1 penalty. Kies, cleverly predicting this, did something boring.
Except that that's all false; Kies is just a boring person. Boo.
Haha! Suffocation! Hold my breath until I can breathe again! Do some mock swordplay to encourage bloodflow!
((Looting, which is a very barbaric thing, honestly, should get a +1, I think. Barbarism is a lifestyle, you know.))
I GET THE FucK oUt of the WAteR rigHT NoW!!!1!!!!!11! Hopefully...
Sing a Very Loud Song to Facilitate Breathing. (it is a happy song) (aim it particularly at Phil and Jeff, moving if required)
The guy who's drowning is in desperate need of a clear mind. Use [mind blast] to ensure he doesn't get any thoughts.
[1+1-2][1][5][6] Nigel's song—a song so loud, its sound waves push air around!—gives Jeff and Phil some assistance breathing: assistance that, surprisingly, they desperately needed. It doesn't help Jeff get out of the water, though.
Jeff and Phil's death timers do not tick down this turn.It also doesn't help Jeff escape Alexander's Mind Blast. A surprisingly strong blast wipes out Jeff; he's
[KO'D]. The blast's strength surprised even Alexander, though; the energy required renders him
[Exhausted].
Finally, Phil, attempting to improve his circulation, stabs himself in the foot. Uh, oops.
((If still okay to join))
CHAD THE ROOT OF EVIL
CHAD IS THE MAN WHO IS SO MUCH OF A DICK THAT HE GAINS POWER FROM DOING THE MOST HORRIBLE THING HE CAN THINK OF AND EVERYBAD THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED CHADS DOING!
Punch someone
Chad, Root of Evil, is incredibly evil. Who could really blame him, though: with traits like
[Supervillain] and
[Root of Evil], how else could he have turned out?
[6] Chad punches himself. He does this because he did something very bad, even for the Root of Evil: he targeted "someone". "Someone" should not be targeted.
Ever.
oh shit. uh... well, at least his corpse won't decompose because it's sealed now..
Wait for the poor sod to die and respawn at the statue. bring him his stuff, and then reanimate the corpse that used to be him.
Aralak stands around. If he had a watch, he would be checking it.
Come on, he thinks.
When is that guy going to die? Not today, and (probably) not for a few more turns!
[5] The alligator (henceforth named Allie) spots an opportunity: an unconscious man is bleeding out in the water! Allie chomps off his head. Delicious!
Jeff has died.
A mysterious power surrounds the statue. The statue now possesses
[Early-Life Magnetism]!
Coolrune206 / Jeff the Blessed: Dead /
[Super Luck]Paphi / Phil the Angry: Suffocating (3) /
[Orthnalof], Driftwood Shield
blazing glory / Joe the Foolish: Fine / Rusty sword
Jim the Imp: Fine /
[Neutral]lawastooshort / Blind Nigel: Fine /
[Retuned Banjo] Staff, Chestplate
LordBrassroast / Sylvarris the Elf: Lv. 1 Ranger /
[Bleeding Ears][Wincing] / Bow, arrows, rusty swords (2)
Dustan Hache / Aralak Darkstone: [Bad Leg] / Lv. 1 Necromancer /
[Heal Wound][Animate Bones]The Moonlit Shadow / Kies the Shady: Bruised /
[Legendary Reverse Energy Kopesh]ATHATH / Steve the Ghost: Possessing /
[Incorporeal Body] /
[Possess] Statue of Life: Possessed Object /
[Revive] /
[Sacred Air][Early-Life Magnetism]Whisperling / Alexander the Out-Of-Place: [Exhausted] /
[Insane] /
[Mind Blast] [Telekinesis] /
[Tower Shield?]palu / Bob the Illusionist: Lv. 1 Illusionist /
[Sword?], rusty sword, bow, arrows (3)
[Illusion]FallacyofUrist / Lord Dee: Lv. 1 Summoner /
On Fire (1)AbstractTraitorHero / Chad, Root of Evil: [Root of Evil][Supervillain] The Tome of Summoning — underwater, Flooded Room
In a moment's laziness, you decline to read over the turn and spot someone near you. "Whatever," you think: "I am a busy person, and I have more interesting things to do. I will target 'someone', and the GM will do the work for me."
In that moment of laziness, you literally became Satan, Hitler, and Stalin, all at once. Yes, you. By targeting "someone", you force me to do several dull, pointless tasks. First, I must figure out what you meant by "someone"; depending on the context, deciding who to exclude can be a pain. Second, I must take inventory of the nearby players. Yes, I must perform the step that you skipped; the net work-gain is positive, Sastler. Third, I must open the Wizards dice roller, fill in a text field, and click a button. This may seem like a minor step, but it is still a step that I must perform; it wastes my time, and thus I waste yours with this run-on sentence. And this shorter one, as well.
In short: don't target "someone".
In case you can't read mouseover text: after reviving, you can't leave the room on the turn you revive.