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Author Topic: v42 Funny Quotes  (Read 21538 times)

AceSV

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v42 Funny Quotes
« on: December 06, 2015, 04:34:46 pm »

I caught one of my scholars Pondering Reproductive Behavior!  On the status screen, "I've been mulling over reproductive behavior.  This cannot end well."  She is pessimistic after pondering reproductive behavior. 

This is perhaps a bit more tragic now that I see that her husband died in the weremoose epidemic. 
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could God in fact send a kea to steal Excalibur and thereby usurp the throne of the Britons? 
Furry Fortress 3 The third saga unfurls.  Now with Ninja Frogs and Dogfish Pirates.

jaked122

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2015, 07:27:40 pm »

She wishes that her goals were more in line with the kind of man that would have survived the weremoose epidemic. That's practically a positive attitude towards evolution.

Moonshadow101

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2015, 08:05:57 pm »

A random selection of books sitting in my current fort's library:

Can Sundials Save The World?
Pulleys For Everyone
True Hardness
Time Spent With Breathing
Glue
Glue: Further Musings
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AceSV

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2015, 09:01:17 pm »

Gods, yes, books are amazing:

Time Spent with Probing
Give Me the Troglodyte
Inquiries on Probing
The Fortress Might Help
Journey to Flasks (it concerns the construction and use of the flask) 
Nothingness and Other Travesties
The Horstang Mares: Only the Dirt Foretells
Do You Know the Sharkopaths?
Mysteries of Glue

Didn't expect this one to be funny, but it is:  Commentary on the Dark Fortress by Lan Strapsshields.  On the item is a well-designed image of The Fortress And Beyond (a completely different codex).  It concerns the murder of the horstang stallion Ashanda Pantedcave by the horstang mare Lan Strapsshields in Badface in year 90.  The writing bubbles over with cheerfulness. 

Also, several titles that sound like they would be NYTimes bestsellers:
Introduction to Equality
Social Welfare Explained
The Hidden Meaning of Justification
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could God in fact send a kea to steal Excalibur and thereby usurp the throne of the Britons? 
Furry Fortress 3 The third saga unfurls.  Now with Ninja Frogs and Dogfish Pirates.

Silfarion

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2015, 09:31:16 pm »

A random selection of books sitting in my current fort's library:

Can Sundials Save The World?
Pulleys For Everyone
True Hardness
Time Spent With Breathing
Glue
Glue: Further Musings
I, for one, am very excited for the new upcoming Glue book
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BEARDS! BEARDS FOR THE POOR!

Bouchart

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2015, 09:47:27 pm »

The World of Probing
The Kobold for Students
Foundations of the Funnel
Animal Courtship After The End
Common Sense Siphons

and a letter called Untitled, about no particular subject.
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Untelligent

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2015, 11:06:49 pm »

The Rising of the Sun in the Time of my Ancestors has been one of my favorites so far
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The World Without Knifebear — A much safer world indeed.
regardless, the slime shooter will be completed, come hell or high water, which are both entirely plausible setbacks at this point.

BaronMunchausen

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2015, 12:44:34 am »

I found all these in Legends mode for one world:
Give Me Animal Diseases
Give Me The Diseases of Animals
both written by elves, unsurprisingly.

The Art Of Probing
Dreams Of Probing
Probing Without Limits
Dwarven medical science strongly endorses probing.

Other assorted gems:
Never Underestimate Adhesives
Reasoning Might Help
Doubts About The Facts
Reproduction The Easy Way
The Pursuit Of The Tree
Mastering Breathing
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2015, 01:04:15 am »

Favorite so far: Errors in Combustion

sneakey pete

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2015, 01:27:45 am »

The Art Of Probing
Dreams Of Probing
Probing Without Limits
Dwarven medical science strongly endorses probing.

I lost my shit over these ones. Keep em coming, don't know if i'll have the time to be playing until Christmas but its fun hearing all of these.
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Silfarion

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2015, 01:50:34 am »

Never Underestimate Adhesives

Clearly a reference to Fallout 4
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AceSV

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #11 on: December 07, 2015, 02:44:08 am »

New world, new literary masterpieces:

Start Your Day with Valves
The Examination and the Coming Troubles
The Author, My Love
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could God in fact send a kea to steal Excalibur and thereby usurp the throne of the Britons? 
Furry Fortress 3 The third saga unfurls.  Now with Ninja Frogs and Dogfish Pirates.

FoiledFencer

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #12 on: December 07, 2015, 07:04:33 am »

The first work produced in my fortress is by a visiting scholar. It is apparently some kind of whiny blog-post about rejection and not being very good at your job.

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"Lithrushâst Kúdlizat: Fetidfur, the slick notch, a grizzly bear leather loincloth. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with zinc, decorated with grizzly bear leather and encircled with bands of grizzly bear leather. This object menaces with spikes of grizzly bear leather."

MobRules

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2015, 07:10:41 am »

The first work produced in my fortress is by a visiting scholar. It is apparently some kind of whiny blog-post about rejection and not being very good at your job.
yeah, a fisherdwarf in my fort wrote a vicious screed (can't remember the exact description, but the word "vicious" appeared twice in it, and the prose was "amateurish at best") about not being accepted as an apprentice by someone or another. It was kinda long, too.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2015, 07:12:42 am by MobRules »
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Ninja dragons! Protect the masterwork roasts!
Is this biome reanimating? I really don't want to know what happens when "absurd numbers of megabeasts" is combined with "reanimating biomes".

FoiledFencer

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Re: v42 Funny Quotes
« Reply #14 on: December 07, 2015, 07:22:53 am »

The first work produced in my fortress is by a visiting scholar. It is apparently some kind of whiny blog-post about rejection and not being very good at your job.
yeah, a fisherdwarf in my fort wrote a vicious screed (can't remember the exact description, but the word "vicious" appeared twice in it, and the prose was "amateurish at best") about not being accepted as an apprentice by someone or another. It was kinda long, too.

Man, catty academics. The realism is really taking off with this version. Another scholar made a short essay about the fortress which has been bound in iron and stored in the library. So that's something, I guess. Even if the title does sound like an exposé of some kind. "The Truth About the Mountainhome".
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"Lithrushâst Kúdlizat: Fetidfur, the slick notch, a grizzly bear leather loincloth. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with zinc, decorated with grizzly bear leather and encircled with bands of grizzly bear leather. This object menaces with spikes of grizzly bear leather."
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