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Author Topic: The Poster Re-Wording Thread  (Read 1861 times)

greatorder

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The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« on: December 04, 2015, 07:39:15 pm »

Since it was taking over the Paris thread, I'm throwing it up in here.

The poster we're doing right now is:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So come up with amusing things to shove in it! And feel free to PM me if you have a suggestion for the next one.

Standard rules apply, nothing downright prejudiced, nothing too sexual, no yelling at each other etc. etc.
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SirQuiamus

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2015, 07:58:25 pm »

If you ever encounter a giant floating traffic sign, you better run like you're being chased by a giant floating traffic sign.

EDIT: Warning! Excessive running may turn you into a swastika, which may result in acute Godwinitis. If this happens, then you are the Nazis, Jean, and we cannot help you because Pétain is a wanker and Vive La Resistance!
« Last Edit: December 04, 2015, 08:10:22 pm by SirQuiamus »
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Strife26

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2015, 08:22:35 pm »

ALERTER
Do not approach police officers. They're likely carrying rifles that they don't really know how to use.
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Even the avatars expire eventually.

wierd

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2015, 08:44:00 pm »

When you hear the alert tone the government uses to advise of imminent alien attack, it is very important to flee heavily populated areas as quickly as possible. The risk of being abducted and converted into hideous space mutant zombies is very high in densely populated areas.

Failing that, be sure to barricade yourself into your home using whatever is available, such as large pieces of furniture,  like a couch.  While it is highly likely that you will be converted into a mindless horror by the alien gas drones released by the mothership, the act of barricading yourself inside your apartment contains the risk you pose to those better able to flee the scene.

For those able to flee effectively: Be sure to assist other refugees as best you are able, as the more humans who survive the initial wave, the better humanity's chances of fighting off the cosmic invaders. Be sure to keep a low visible profile while escaping, to avoid attracting the attention of hunter-seeker hybrids, and to spread the word about the alien invasion to those that did not hear the evacuation siren.

For those doomed to die horrible deaths locked inside their houses, we remind you not to turn on your computers, telelvisions, or other personal electronic devices as these are all vehicles used to send instructions to zombified humans by the alien oppressors. In fact, stay out of sight and as low to the ground as possible to avoid exposure to the zombification gas, and disable all personal electronic devices you might be carrying. Our researchers tell us that muscle memory to answer phonecalls is very much present in zombified humans, and that the alien oppressors use this to thier advantage. To do your part in resistence up to the bitter end, disable all such devices while you are still consciously able to do so.

For all persons, regardless, we remind you that as little as 17 to 112 seconds is all that it takes for the mothership to program zombified humans, and that these zombies often attempt to attack police and rescue personel. Fully actuallized zombies have been known to posess powerful psionic attacks, so be careful!

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Tawa

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2015, 08:48:06 pm »


FAKEDIT: ...I swear to god I didn't see SirQuiamus's post when I began work on this.
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TheDarkStar

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2015, 09:43:53 pm »

Reposted:

Blue: How to survive a zombie apocalypse:

Step 1: Run away from dangerous, zombie-infested buildings.
Step 2: Drop zombies from high places.
Step 3: Escape underwater. Do not listen to the voices. They lie. Covering your ears is recommended.
Step 4: Remember: Do not interfere if a zombie is chasing someone. Instead, stand there and watch. If there is any ambiguity about who the zombie is trying to eat, it will be resolved quickly.


Yellow: How to find a lost smartphone:

Step 1: If you have to get past a locked door, push furniture as indicated by the red arrow.
Step 2: Arrange any devices in your house in a line, including (but not limited to) computers, speakers, and lamps.
Step 3: Now, crawl under your house before it crushes you.
Step 4: When you find a girder to hide behind, sniff the air the determine the location of your smartphone.
Step 5: Now, reach out and grab your phone. Set your phone to silent. If you do not do this, we cannot help you.


Red: How to deal with riot policemen:

Step 1: Call "17" on your phone and yell into it at at least 112 decibels.
Step 2: Wait for a giant red X with people stuck to it to hit them.
Step 3: Put your hands up and remain still to ensure your own safety.
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

scrdest

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2015, 03:57:56 am »

Posting a templated version.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Sheb

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2015, 04:12:30 am »

Permission to share your productions on social media?
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Helgoland

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2015, 08:29:38 am »

PTW.
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Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

scrdest

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2015, 12:06:54 pm »

Permission to share your productions on social media?
I reckon that people are already sharing that on social media, kinda. Crediting it as assembled from Bay12 forums may do some good, though, get some people interested in showing up 'round here.
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

IronTomato

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2015, 01:15:51 pm »

PTW
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wierd

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2015, 03:28:16 pm »

Spoiler: Alien Invasion PSA (click to show/hide)
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scrdest

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2015, 05:59:35 pm »

@weird, strange (weird, even!), I had the same idea, but differently flavored. I'll finish it up tomorrow.

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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

miauw62

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2015, 06:31:15 pm »

Needs Vigilo Confido markings in the bottom right.
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they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

scrdest

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Re: The Poster Re-Wording Thread
« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2015, 07:11:22 pm »

Needs Vigilo Confido markings in the bottom right.
Duh. I added one in the middle on top, too.
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.
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