4 probes sent to analverse for 4 hours. Have one drill into the intestinal lining while the other watches it (careful to avoid whatever attacked the last one), and keep doing so the entire time. Have another programmed to find an ameoba and ram it, letting the ameoba do whatever it wants to it afterwards, and another probe watch that one avoiding the ameoba's wrath should it turn it's attention on it.... stop being a chicken and just watch the feeds directly this time
Well, the drilling one appears to insight the wrath of something that looks kind of like the amoeba but is much larger. It seems to extrude straight out of the wall and immediately grabs the drilling probe with a single pseudopod, yanking it into itself and bombarding it with billiard ball sized lysosomes, dissolving the probe.
The amoeba attacks the probe in a similar fashion, absorbing it and dissolving it.
@Gus' datapad: nothing is wrong with it. Gus' mind of -2 is in effect. He is spelling things badly, and the pad is having fits, tossing up error lines everywhere. he is trying to fix the wrong thing, as a person with -2 mind would do.
@Spiders:design a game for the spiders on the comm device that they seem to enjoy so much. Have it involve eating, drinking, exploring an obstacle course, and even interacting with an unknown, potentially friendly, alien entity. include very basic space english language learning tools, and give rewards for completing tasks, especially those involved learningthelanguage and interacting with the weird aliens (that look suspiciously like humans).
@cavernverse look for a larger cavern with a smoother gravity gradiaent. Do this via the standard "send probes at it until something works." Also, send probes to set distances, increasing exponentially, until we are reasonably confident whehave discovered the size of that universe, or have found the outside of it.
message to creatureverse colony: "it's turtles all the way down, bitches."
Probes to new universes:
7, 0, 0
0, 7, 0
0, 0, 7
That second planet in orgyverse is extremely worrying. Any ideas folks?
Also, as suspected, cavernverse is inhospitable as it now is. Any ideas for modifications to it or our colony there for long term viability? My only current hope is to find a much larger cavern with a less drastic gravity gradient, that has usable soil, or at least can sustain soil (we can import large quantities of soil form this universe if necessary, possibly).
Finally, we have sent single probes which didn't return from the universe they were sent to. We have not reexamined those universes at all, though the probe could have simply ported into a bad location within the universe. If anyone wants to send secondary probes to those universes at different entry points, feel free. Personally, I have been acting under the assumption that the universes that don't return our pres are hostile, or at least, not worth our time, since we have just an infinite number of universes to check out as it is.
Ah. Well then.
[1]
He fixes it by snapping it over his knee.
Done. When you introduce it to them, they seem to stare at the cameras in a very...sarcastic fashion. As though to say "This is getting a little recursive, isn't it?". It's an odd thing, to be sassed by a spider. Regardless, they seem to understand the textual form of English to a degree; at least in terms of direct associations between objects and their words, so long as the object is concrete. Abstract words or words that don't have an anchor to a physical object seem to confuse them. They connect whatever the word is to the descriptive image. As though "Hello" were the name of a man waving and greeting someone, not the action.
You do probe searches but they do not discover a place with smoother gravity gradients, just places with less or more gravity at ground level. Perhaps one with lower gravity at ground level would be better because the gradient would be less noticeable?
I'm sure the colonists will appreciate that.
First one lands in what appears to be a fungal bed under a dark purple sky. Humanoid fungal men surround it and carefully inspect it with sensitive tendrils before the probe returns.
Other two are null.
Send a probe to the unsymmetrical-humen-verse. Look for males. Find out, if possible, what influence we've had on them so far. Are they living in villages, towns, or tribes of sorts?
Abduct three males. Give two to Syv.
With my remaining male (assuming I found them), run some very basic psychology and intelligence tests. Things you'd give an ape. Picture assosiaction, object-centered maths, et cetera.
Oh, harvest some viable eggs from a female; there's bound to be one in the batch of three corpses. Find a male "volunteer" (or use whatever's on hand) and attempt to fertilize the egg. I'm sure we have baby-growing stuff hanging around here. Otherwise, we might as well just implant the egg into a female surrogate "volunteer".And by volunteer I mean whomever happens to look like a good fit at the time.
Females are indeed female; My research has led me to believe that these demihumans have evolved much like us, but without the symmetry of most of our systems. Their tissue samples are very similar to our own, even to the point of my haebi-enhanced limbs being willing to accept the flesh.
I am running a search for males now, and will bring three back if found; I trust you will be able to make good use of two of them.
The influence you seem to have had is to cause every other member of the species in the area to run away. I mean, you, well not you personally but the probes, fucking gunned down or kidnapped dozens of them, you can't really blame them for not wanting to be there anymore. Closer inspection of the dead outside the small tent like enclosure that you port into shows that there are indeed males. They are nude as well, though they also have tools strapped to their body using leather cords. Hmm. Intelligent, but not overtly so. They seem to be living in very primitive homes, tents and mud huts. You can find no males and indeed no living members of the species near by. Just lots of jungle.
(Saint hacked into Gus' datapad last turn and, without Gus' knowing it, installed spell-checking/autocorrect software. As a result, Gus believes that something is wrong with his datapad. Rather than attempt to fix it himself, as he's tempted to do, he's decided to report the "error" to whatever tech support Heph happens to have.)
Brambleverse- Send over a phase two probe. After that, try ramming a probe into one of the flowers. See what happens.
Probes to new Universes:
7,7,49
70,70,490
-777,-777,-777
Phase two probe seems fine and when you ram the flower, nothing happens. The flower doesn't vanish though, so maybe you rammed the wrong one?
The probe comes back wrapped in a brown, dusty looking filament and several pieces of it are missing, including the cameras and on board computer.
Send the files to the Mission 27 people. Then, because Charle's Fate is too low to dare pray, immediately begin recording messages directed at the Mission 27 people with content along the lines of "What the fuck is wrong with you people? You ought to all stop, feel bad about yourselves and maybe contemplate suicide."
Send a Phase 2 Probe to the Spiderverse, search for "population centers" of sorts to film. The Probe should keep its distance though, lest it spark hostilities.
Send a modified Probe to the Claymore Foil Universe (123,456,789). The probe should be completely covered in modular plating that may be ejected. Have it return to a Null where an observing Probe awaits it and attempt to eject all its plates save for a single small plate left on its top.
Done.
By this do you mean send a probe in and have it fly towards one of the large cocoons floating in space?
By "Eject" do you mean fly off or simply detach?
((Ugh. There's a bunch of things I should be answering, but I feel exhausted, and I really don't want to make Saint say something stupid... sagain. Sorry. 
))
Orgyverse:
1.Collect as much data about the signal as we can. Do our scientists think we can replicate it?
2.Set the scoutship to orbit the metallic moon. Is the signal being broadcasted in all directions, or is it being directed specifically towards OVP-1 [the first planet]?
3.Send an additional two scoutships to the orgyverse, one equipped with significant drilling equipment, and one equipped with a squad of well-armed heavy robosods. Make them rendezvous with the first scoutship.
Sods Clinging to Probe:
4.Shock all but two of the sods which are clinging to the probe. Then, equip six normal robosods with sonar equipment, and disable their normal senses. Send the six into the room, to nonlethally peel the two mindfucked sods off the probe. Once they're off, send the probe to a null universe, and leave it there.
Bukkakeverse Our universe:
5.Ask the Doctor how long it would take to build a second EUE, which has a carrying capacity sufficient to transfer a QEC and small computer + data storage. Basically, just a comms probe.
6.Ask him if he thinks such a thing could be built and be functional, in the cavernverse.
Dester, please remember that these plans do not originate from me. While I did serve as a consultant, for the most part they are the brainchild of General Miyanoto De Bergerac.
1)While our EUE is capable of transferring a decently sized scout ship, it is not capable of transferring a ship as large as we require.
2)The AI will be using architecture copied from Steve, and very well may be Steve himself, if we can recover him. This was judged to be the safest option, as humans have so far doomed their entire species twice, and both times their only hope was provided by Steve. While the AIs may very well end up being ineffective or dangerous, that seems to be much less likely than a falliable human developing such flaws.
The haebi brain is not a danger, as it is significantly simpler than a true haebi brain, to the point of being less of an independent entity, and more of a translation module for the AI to control the flesh. The haebiflesh rebelling would be equivalent to your legs declaring a revolution and deciding to murder you.
3)They have not been designed yet, and EUEs have yet to be tested in alternate universes. Theoretically, it should all be possible, but no concrete tests have been completed. Yes, building a plan which significantly relies on an unproven technology is foolish, but the General is over my head.
4)I take it you have not studied ARM's history in depth? Supervision by those more competent is one of the few reliable indicators of a successful mission. This is shown even by your own mission, Dester, as you were the competent supervisor in that instance. For that reason, I do trust you, but it is not my place to dictate how you go about colonizing universes.
5)I support caution and care, but I am not naive enough to believe clapping my hands over my eyes and ears will protect me from danger. Simply isolating any exploratory efforts from the general populace, as we are isolated from the Sword, should be a sufficient defence. Perhaps centralized communication universes could retain all knowledge of actual coordinates, providing a second layer of defense as well. Furthermore, if an entity attempted to cross between universes using the newly obtained EUE technology, it would be best if the rest of humanity had a warning about its existence, rather than being caught by surprise.
((Assuming the text this is responding to was sent to Saint))
Currently, the metallic planet does not seem to pose an active threat. I'm working on analyzing the signal it is projecting, and checking to see if the signal is directed anywhere in specific.
After that, I intend to have the scout land on the planet and drill into it. If it is dangerous, we should confront it immediately.
Soil would be insufficient for growth of plants, because the cavern universe is lightless. Also, our records do not seem to specify what the composition of the atmosphere is, though I imagine it would not be very difficult to bioengineer something capable of surviving in it.
Vincent Klart did pitch an interesting idea to me. He suggested we use sharkmist nanobots to reform the minerals within that universe into useful materials. While the sharkmist we use for industrial purposes is incapable of that, the completely unrestrained nanobots might be capable of significant terraforming. Of course, that poses the risk that we could lose control of the nanobots and potentially create a full gray-goo situation in the universe.
My opinion is that universes which a probe does not return from, are more likely than normal to be hostile. Since a different universe is no less likely to be habitable, we might as well ignore those which a probe does not return from. However, I have no complaints if others decide to double check universes which probes previously did not return from.
Thank you. It is interesting that those systems lack symmetry, despite their outward appearance being unusually symmetrical. Especially strange is the fact that the systems are different, but placed in the correct locations and with the correct functions. It could be natural, I suppose.
You show excellent initiative with that idea. I am unsure of how valuable males will be, but if nothing else we may be able to breed them and use them as more effective canaries than sods.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have brought it up with Dester, as you may have seen already.
((The summary for Radiohead comes later.))
((The band radiohead is watching the game? Didn't expect that!))
1. The signal is an odd one. It's broadcasting very widely, blanketing the inhabited planet. Scientists believe they can can replicate it, but they also warn that it seems to have biological effects. It seems to be interfering with 4th level protein formation in certain cases. They say there should be no immediate danger but they don't know what the long term effects would be.
2.Directly at the planet. And as you orbit the metallic moon from a distance, the probe notices what looks like automated defensive systems. Not unlike our own autolasers.
3. Done.
4. You do this. It seems to work and as soon as the probe is gone, the sods return to normal.
5. He says it would take a while to set up the infrastructure, but that once it is ready small EUE's shouldn't take too long to manufacture individually.
6. He doesn't know. Theoretically it should work but it's never been tested.
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Topic: Misson 26: You Monster (Read 96013 times)