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[Potato9999]

As the title suggests, I basically spend all my time in DF playing Adventure Mode, slaying goblins and megabeasts and whatnot. However, I want to try and start a fortress, but I have no clue on how to do it.

-How do I do farming (and food production in general) exactly?

-Is it a good idea to put my fortress on or near a volcano? Free magma is probably awesome, but I don't know much about any other costs.

-Should I go underground as soon as possible? Or should that be the very first thing I do upon starting a new fortress?

-How angry will a dwarf get if he does not have access to alcohol? Is a river an insufficient source of hydration?

-UNRELATED QUESTION: Is it possible to create a "Colloseum" in which enemy captives can battle against your war animals? (If the answer is no, this is going straight to the suggestions section)

(There will be more questions to come)

[Torrenal]

-How do I do farming (and food production in general) exactly?

Um, simple question, with big complicated answers.  The watered down version:
You designate a farm plot, then once the plot is built, you configure what to grow during each season.  Above ground/underground crops are different.  Dwarves handle the rest.  Bags/barrels help with seed and food management/storage so are both vital to the food industry.

-Is it a good idea to put my fortress on or near a volcano? Free magma is probably awesome, but I don't know much about any other costs.

You'll almost always have magma under your your fort, if you dig deep enough.  I've never had a good volcano fort, but then I've never had much luck finding volcanoes with the proper surrounds and I don't design my own worlds with much success.  I see volcanos more as a setting choice than a critical feature (but they do help with early forging, assuming you survive the fire imps).

-Should I go underground as soon as possible? Or should that be the very first thing I do upon starting a new fortress?

Get yourself a secure location Fast.  Doesn't have to be much to start, just a hole in the ground with some food/drink, but the idea of a fort is that the entire fort is a secure location.  Depending on where you are, getting a secure location may mean the difference between slim chance at survival or certain doom, or it may simply mean you have a fallback plan if something unpleasant wanders onto the map.  People will even debate the fastest way to get your gear and dwarves secured under rock after embarking.

-How angry will a dwarf get if he does not have access to alcohol? Is a river an insufficient source of hydration?

Dwarves slow down without booze.    It's like oil to dwarves.  Dwaves do require hydration, and you can almost force a tantrum spiral by failing to get them any beverage or water.  Beware biomes that freeze in winter (frozen rivers don't make for good water sources), and watch your stocks of beverage (Status screen).

-UNRELATED QUESTION: Is it possible to create a "Colloseum" in which enemy captives can battle against your war animals? (If the answer is no, this is going straight to the suggestions section)

Sounds about like how I train my marksmen.  Not exactly as Colosseum, since I keep the captives where they can't reach my marksdwaves, but it does mean I don't have to worry about my marksdwarves trying to hammer their opponnets to death and loosing limbs for their trouble.  Mind, critters can and do climb, so your mileage may vary depending on your setup.

Mind also that some foes fight each other, other foes are friendly to each other, and not everything that wanders into a cage trap wants to fight to the death.

[contheman]

I would suggest that you read this (http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Quickstart_guide) and all other wiki posts for specific questions. They helped me become the Fortress Maestro that I am today. For fort beginner, I would highly suggest the lazy newb pack or dfhack and dwarf therapist.

Mind also that some foes fight each other, other foes are friendly to each other, and not everything that wanders into a cage trap wants to fight to the death.

What a shame.

[Daris]

Volcanoes are fantastic.  There is no down side if you handle vent security correctly so that magma creatures don't escape.  Just construct a controllable means to move magma from the magma tube to where you need it to go, and then floor over the vent.  Volcanoes are fortress training wheels.

[Uggh]

Please note that while you can build a collosseum to train your military or for your own entertainment, non-military dwarves will be disgusted by the sight of fights or monsters. So, you can save the effort of building a proper grandstand.

And yes, volcanoes are great if the surroundings also fit your plans, but not essential.

[Potato9999]

I've read on the wiki that pasturing cats inside my food stockpile is a good way to keep vermin inside.

How useful is this in practice?

[Daris]

Extremely useful.  Pasture 1 or 2 cats over every food, seed, and bone stockpile.

[Urlance Woolsbane]

Extremely useful.  Pasture 1 or 2 cats over every food, seed, and bone stockpile.

And be sure to make sure they're of the opposite gender. They get lonely, otherwise.

[Potato9999]

Extremely useful.  Pasture 1 or 2 cats over every food, seed, and bone stockpile.

And be sure to make sure they're of the opposite gender. They get lonely, otherwise.

Wouldn't that lead to a "catsplosion?"

EDIT: Whoops, thought you meant 1 or 2 cats over every tile with food, seed, and bone

[DgN13]

Wouldn't that lead to a "catsplosion?"

As of 40.24 that's pretty uncommon so long as you keep your dwarves pretty consistently busy.

[Daris]

Catsplosions are super-easy to thwart with the geld function.  Fear them not and love the cat.

[Potato9999]

Are guard dogs (war dogs, specifically) guaranteed to spot any thieves that get too close to them? Is a dog fast enough to take down a kobold?

[Urlance Woolsbane]

Extremely useful.  Pasture 1 or 2 cats over every food, seed, and bone stockpile.

And be sure to make sure they're of the opposite gender. They get lonely, otherwise.

Wouldn't that lead to a "catsplosion?"

Nah, that only happens if you geld the males.

[Daris]

Are guard dogs (war dogs, specifically) guaranteed to spot any thieves that get too close to them?

Yes, but "too close" is really, really close.

Is a dog fast enough to take down a kobold?

I've seen it go both ways?  If the dog really gets it into its head to kill that kobold, then yes, the dog will catch the kobold (whether it kills the kobold depends on whether the dog's bite attack kicks in or whether the dog just tries to scratch the kobold to death).  But I've often seen dogs simply roll their eyes at kobolds.  Just because your dog spots a kobold doesn't mean it will do anything about it.  The kobold will still hightail it, though, not to be seen again until next season.

[Potato9999]

Why do none of my dwarves want to construct a fishery or butcher's shop? I have six idlers and not a single one of them is bothering to work on building the two workshops, they would rather "go on break" or "be idlers" before they build them.