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[mainiac]

That generally isn't what happens after dictatorships.  Tyranny leaves a ton of skeletons in the closet that take forever to clean out because they're all politically sensitive.  Just look at how this country still isn't honest about the basic facts of a civil war that was fought 150 years ago.  Now imagine all the controversial acts that a tyrant would do and how people would still be sorting out the wreckage 100 years later.  France still has sympathizers for the Petain regime.  Mexico still has advocates of Maximilian's empire.  There are still people in Scotland who dont regard Thatcher as the anti-Christ.

[Loud Whispers]

I would make Prince Charles the leader of the USA and bring the unruly colonies back into the good tea drinking fold. As Charles would not legally be the monarch but merely the heir, he would be restrained by no constitutional limits and would be able to start his tyranny with the regeneration of old buildings, elimination of bovine TB and ending the plight of the albatross

[WealthyRadish]

Being supreme dictator of the US sounds a bit babby. Get some decent conscription laws on the go, a year of tying up loose ends abroad, and I bet we could annex most of Central and South America in a few weeks. Wouldn't even need to be dictator, could do it before Congress can call it a war. I'd definitely go for Canada and Australia/New Zealand first, though. Splitting Europe with Russia sounds fine to me, and China can do their thing so long as we snipe Japan and the Philippines off them early.

Now, starting as King of Jordan, that sounds like a fun campaign.

[mainiac]

Does the US have a massive reduction to coring time?  Cuz annexing that much territory is going to give you crazy over-extension penalties.

[Egan_BW]

we're always welcomed as saviors so yeah

[WealthyRadish]

I'd probably feed South America to Ecuador, they have some pretty great ideas. Australia/Oceania would be overseas colonial territory, wouldn't contribute to OE. Canada definitely needs to be annexed though, I can't stand that Alaska border.

[Mr. Strange]

Nightmare mode: Dictator of Finland.
Relevant ever: Nope.

[Shadowlord]

UrbanGiraffe:
You've forgotten to plan for the inevitable insurgencies, urban warfare, and terrorism. :V

3. Legalize, regulate, and tax prostitution. (I wouldn't use it myself but I don't see any reason why it should be illegal, it just drives it underground)
4. Legalize, regulate, and tax marijuana. We already have alcohol and cigarette taxes, of course.

No. Just legalize and regulate. In an optimal world sales tax would be eliminated and he money made up for through increases in the income and capital gains taxes.

Perhaps. It'd be better for anyone who isn't well-off. However... When companies manufacture things outside the US, and ship them in to sell, if they've been clever they can avoid income taxes (via corporate inversions, etc). For them if there aren't any tarrifs then sales tax is the only way the government can tax those products at all. If we were to strike the sales tax then there'd be more sales here, but the government would get nothing out of any company that was set up to escape US taxation.

If anyone is thinking "what we need is some kind of offshoring tax," that's pretty much a tarrif, except tarrifs are applied on a per-product (e.g. sugar) basis, have existed for a long, long time, and are generally accepted to distort the economy. A common example: Sugar tarrifs to protect the US sugar industry from cheaper foreign sugar are why the US has soft drinks with corn syrup instead of sugar, because corn syrup is cheaper than either US sugar or foreign sugar after tarrif. (I've simplified a bit, but you can read more about tarrifs on wikipedia)

I'd expect applying a tarrif on all imports (or exports) to have significant negative effects on our economy, and probably on the global economy, since companies might nope out of selling to us entirely, other countries might enact retaliatory tarrifs, etc.

[TheBiggerFish]

Simple:Just tax the company's US assets.

[Strife26]

Wait long enough and let the inexorable march of human progress improve things.

Retire to a farm.

[Egan_BW]

Don't micromanage! That's the ninjas job.

[Frumple]

Look, isp, all I want to do is burn down the swamp and sink it into a bigger swamp. Other people will be appointed to handle the micromanagement, while I oversee ending florida as a physically coherent entity. I win, the world wins, anyone who cared about florida can get the psychiatric help they have long needed as part of the relocation process. Everyone wins! The dictatorship part is just because it'd take the resources of a major power to pull the project off. The interim would indeed be stressful, but think of how much better off the world would be without florida. That's worth the trouble.

[Bohandas]

I really do not understand why any of you guys would find enjoyment in micromanaging an entire country, let alone the world. Shit's stressful.

Managing the entire world would be a lot easier in some regards. You don't have to worry about your policies harming the economy by driving businesses away if they have nowhere to go away to. And that opens up a lot of additional options in other areas because it frees you to impose truly exorbinant corporate taxes.

[Bohandas]

Some kind of spelling reform would also be handy. Noah Webster's changes to the language in the 1800's were a hood start, but they don't go far enough; dropping the superflous "u" from color was a good start, but the should have changed the second "o" to an "e" while he was at it. The new spellings would be purely phonetic and to ensure this would chosen by a panel of poorly educated rednecks who know what sounds the letters make but are both unversed in many of the current spellings and more importantly completely ignorant of (and possibly hostile to) any foreign language, especially Latin, Greek, German, and French. Preferably should not be able to define or pronounce the word "etymology"

[mainiac]

Some kind of spelling reform would also be handy. Noah Webster's changes to the language in the 1800's were a hood start, but they don't go far enough; dropping the superflous "u" from color was a good start, but the should have changed the second "o" to an "e" while he was at it. The new spellings would be purely phonetic and to ensure this would chosen by a panel of poorly educated rednecks who know what sounds the letters make but are both unversed in many of the current spellings and more importantly completely ignorant of (and possibly hostile to) any foreign language, especially Latin, Greek, German, and French. Preferably should not be able to define or pronounce the word "etymology"

Might as well get a better alphabet while you are at it.  Korean is a good start but I'm sure further improvement is possible.