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One global event and one local event(for each player) per turn. 100%!

5 (27.8%)

50% chance of any given random event happening.

5 (27.8%)

1 in 3 chance of any given random event happening.

3 (16.7%)

1 in 4 chance of...

2 (11.1%)

1 in 6 chance of...

1 (5.6%)

NULL OPTION

2 (11.1%)

Total Members Voted: 18

[Greatness942]

Hi, there. Is there a free spot open, since there's only 5 players? If yes, then I'll go ahead and post my CR (Chief Researcher) and his Foundation, if that's okay. 

[Detoxicated]

I'd like to be on waitlist as well... maybe you could pick one of our comps if you'd like that more.

[Paphi]

Spoiler: SADCom (click to show/hide)

Apply for a small loan of a million dollars $10,000. Pay rent. Have researcher... hell, research the thing more. Look into hiring more grunts.

Agents: Hunt leads

[FallacyofUrist]

((I'd like to note to the waitlisters two things:
One: Harry Baldman came first, and if you spoiled yourselves by reading the spoiler'd turns, I might have to use discretion in choosing who to send in.
Two: Real life smacked me today. Updates might be a bit slower from now on.))

[Greatness942]

I'm perfectly fine with that, I understand that real life can take a nasty toll on people. I'll join up on the Waitlist, if that's okay. Also, I actually stopped following the game until now, so I know nothing, so, yeah...

[Detoxicated]

I have been reading the turns to be honest, so better choose greatness, but if you need a helper or a player of a different kind choose me.

[FallacyofUrist]

((Missing Toaster, I believe.))

[Toaster]

Spoiler: Bulwark (click to show/hide)

Keep working with Steve with 1 Agent.  Get info on terrorists.  Explain when he is, but that he can't go back just yet.  Can we get a DNA sample?  3 grunts also see if they can get a DNA sample from the known real Steve.  Or dental records, anything to corroborate his story.  Again.

2 grunts go ditch that body in a field somewhere not nearby.  Gross.

1 Researcher, 1 Agent and 5 Grunts work with the family. Okay, see how far this effect spreads.  Is it just primary caretakers, or does it affect everyone who comes in contact?  That kid's about to come into our custody, so we want to be able to check the spread of the effect.
1 Agent and 5 Grunts make a secured room in our base for the above kid.  It'll need to be a safe place to stay with nice comforts, but able to be shut off from sight and sound.  Needs monitor equipment though (with remote override.)
1 Agent and 5 Grunts set up that comm cable.

[FallacyofUrist]

Turn Twelve: Yell At the Lazy GM For Extra Points!

((Zormod))

Spoiler: Kranlov Science Program (click to show/hide)

Orders are given.
(2) Your Grunts don't deserve to be paid for lounging around doing nothing.

(1) You phone two Agents. You get a reply from one.

"Ah... no, sir." (4) "Merely colored fire-extinguisher pellets that I made using local forest materials. Somehow."

(Burn Luck(4)) The fire simmers down. +1 to next burn luck roll.

Status:
1350$

Personalle:
Nikolai Kranlov(healthy)
10 Grunts(healthy)
1 Agent(healthy, stationed in nearby towns)
1 Researcher(healthy)

Buildings:
Enflamed Crummy Bunker(burning weakly(+1 to next burn luck roll), uninhabitable)

Items:
Maps of the Surrounding Area(+1 to navigate in the surrounding area)
Warm Coats(slightly burnt)
An Industrial Fan
5 Crummy Flamethrowers(will backlash on a 1)
Several Packs of Medical Facemasks(limited smoke protection)

SCPs:
SCP-1

Information:
Knowledge of the nearby area(from maps)
SCP-1
SCP-2
SCP-3

((Dustan Hache))

Spoiler: The Agency of Relative Regularity (click to show/hide)

"She's dead? Then how was she there, let alone having duplicates of herself? There's got to be something more to it... how and when did this all start?"
The man cries a little, hyperventilating- then slows... "okay, okay. The day after Mattie died- I was going to kill myself, commit suicide, you know what I mean... but once I went out... all the dogs I saw as I walked- they looked just like Mattie. It wasn't until later that I realized that they actually were copies of Mattie."

Interesting.

You urge the man to consider your offer, then you move to speak with your Researcher.

"Resarcher.. this is extremely bad news. We need to get in contact either with the delivery and get it turned around, or contact the whitehouse and warn them of what is coming. If they assemble it and someone gets hurt, we're all going to prison for freakin life.. I'm assigning two agents to you, in case drastic measures are necessary. Do NOT let this spread to the public, at all."

He nods. "Not to mention the other ways this could go wrong..."
You and two Agents get to work with him.

(6) A few hours later, and after quite a bit of hacking, you've diverted all the mail currently going towards the White House to your bunker complex. Wait a minute. "..." (mail wave plus crate arrives at the end of next turn) ((Let's hope the White House people don't notice...))

You sigh and get on to your other orders.

"This is quite nice! Now all we need is two containment cells and a new office down here. I want you to start on the containment cells first. Also, do we have any sleeping bags? I might need them..."

(Luck(5)) A sleeping bag is promptly deposited in your hands. Apparently that's what the Grunts(and everybody else) have been using to sleep.

(6) There are now two rather expensive containment cells(not general purpose containment rooms, containment cells) built in your second bunker floor. There goes 2000$.

"It's a bit small, but most of the actual contractor work will be done either off site, or in a larger shed that we will build later. Excellent work. Continue on with the contractor scheme, and make me proud of you."

(6) According to your Grunts, you're starting contractor work(disposing of chemicals, whatnot) next week(turn). They've thankfully acquired some more hazmat gear for 10 Grunts and 2 Agents. For the price of a 1000$.


Status:
7000$
(10000$ of debt(grows by 10% at the end of each year, first year end at turn 48))
(Will start government contracting work next turn)

Personalle:
Dustan Hache(healthy)
4 Agents(healthy)
1 Researchers(healthy)
30 Grunts(healthy)
Abducted Man(from the SCP-2 video)

Buildings:
Souped-Up Bunker(+1 to fooling people who are trying to prove that your agency is not a government contractor, if the bunker is relevant)
-Floor One
-Floor Two
--2 Expensive Containment Cells
Small One-Story Office

Items:
Hazmat Gear(fits 4 Agents and 15 Grunts)

SCPs:
SCP-2?

Information:
SCP-1
SCP-2
(blueprints for general containment room(cost: 2500$))

((SaberToothTiger))

Spoiler: R.An.Co.R (click to show/hide)

More work to do!

(1) You faint from work exhaustion before even picking up your phone.

Welp, there goes a day.

(4+2=6) (3) When you wake up, you notice a rather large metal pole. Attached to the top of the pole is SCP-3, constantly bouncing around and revving its wheels. That could have been done better. Or worse. (Acquired SCP-3)

(4) Your Agents swarm you and hand you a report detailing the trail they've been on. (Gain a +2 lead)

(6) You're not entirely sure the concept is safe... but then again, the bumper cars are bulletproof, shock resistant, and full of safety measures... how bad could it get? (Gain bumper cars attraction, featuring SCP-3)

(1) Your Amusement Park Supervisors are busy supervising your Grunts. So nope.

(Park Luck(6)) And the money comes pouring in, especially considering the new attractions! (gain 5000$, less 1500 from bumper cars attraction)


Status:
7000$
(35000$ in debt to the Mafia, must be paid off by turn 48.)
(4000$ in debt to... you're not exactly sure.)
(must write a bi-yearly report about the state of the operation, send it to Egyptian government)

Personalle:
Rinush Vercuni(healthy, dressed in a bargain tuxedo, joyful, may have gone insane)
39 Amusement Park Grunts(actually Grunts)(healthy)
14 Amusement Park Personalle(actually Agents)(healthy)
3 Amusement Park Supervisors(actually Researchers)(healthy)

Buildings:
SCP(Surprise, Celebrate, Powerup) Amusement Park
-Ultimate Funhouse
  -Crummy Bunker(access by using secret passage from Ultimate Funhouse)
   +First Floor
    -(perfect containment chamber for SCP-1, does not contain SCP-1)
    -(an old-fashioned jail cell, containing Elfa S. Loewes(complaining of hunger))
    -(staircase downwards into unbuilt second floor, halfway built second floor)
    -(hostile entity containment room)
-SCP-1 Fountain
-SCP-Diner
-SCP-6 Containment Zoo
-SCP-3 Bumper Cars Attraction
-Various Other Amusement Park Stuffs and Billboards

Items:
A human book, made of bone and flesh.
A biography of Elfa S. Loewes.

SCPs:
SCP-1
SCP-2?
SCP-3
SCP-5
Many specimens of SCP-6

Information:
SCP-1
SCP-2(note your knowledge of an elderly woman named Elfa S. Loewes who likely causes SCP-2 to happen?)
SCP-3
SCP-4
SCP-5
SCP-6
Design for hostile entity containment room(cost 4000$, widely usable)
(A +2 lead)

((Paphi))

Spoiler: SADCom (click to show/hide)

(6) You now are in possession of 20000$. And 25000$ worth of debt. Wait, make that 19250$.

(5) A gigantic chart thingy is thrust into your face. Apparently, SCP-1 could be some sort of species living within the deep of the earth, rather than just a single specimen. Plus the Researcher's figured out how to make the steam power plant using SCP-1 more efficient. (-1000$ worth of cost)

Grunts are apparently a 100$ each. Good for you.

(2) Your Agents are considering asking for salaries. Thankfully, you put an end to that with a speech of anti-salaryism. But they've not got anything done.

Status:
20500$(correct me if I'm wrong)
25000$ worth of debt to bank.
Diplomatic Alcohol Agreement(every four turns, you must throw a party with lots of red cloth and alcohol with the natives' chief. In return, you have peace with the natives, plus trade agreements and meetings at times of your choice. Of course, if you fail to throw one of these parties, war ensues. Next instance of party time: Turn Fourteen.)

Personalle:
William Randolph Gills(healthy)
Representative With The Natives(healthy)
2 Agents(healthy, heavily armed)
1 Researcher(healthy)

Buildings:
Crummy Bunker
Apartment(in Texas)(renting, costs 750 per month, next payment required at turn 16.)

Items:
None

SCPs:
SCP-1

Information:
Natives Culture Info
SCP-1
How To Develop Abandoned Aquarium into a Steam Power Plant Using SCP-1.(cost: 4000$ for you)

((Toaster))

Spoiler: Bulwark (click to show/hide)

More work is done.
(1) Steve snaps. He promptly breaks down in tears when he hears he can't go back yet.
(1) The 3 Grunts you assigned to get a real DNA sample from Steve Jobs... try to kill the Steve you have in your bunker. (5) Thankfully you manage to stop them before they do any harm.
(1) Dead body- in your face. "GET IT OFF ME!"

(2) As it turns out... the 5 Grunts you sent in for this purpose abandoned their jobs with you to help care for the SCP. So much for "just primary caregivers".

(5) Accordingly, you get your minions to set up a somewhat comfortable isolation chamber, visually and sonically proofed. Cheaply and efficiently. Plus remote controls. (but there goes the rest of your cash, regardless.)

(6) There is now a rather large cable going through the portal to the other side of it. A cable which apparently was big enough to put you in debt. (-500$)

Status:
-500$(debt)

Personalle:
Dr. Lucius Heisen(healthy, smells like corpse)
1 Researcher(healthy)
4 Agents(healthy)
15 Grunts(healthy)
Steve Jobs(healthy)
Electro-Shock Therapist(actually, a horribly smelly decaying corpse, currently on top of Dr. Heisen)

Buildings:
Crummy Bunker
-Floor One
--SCP-5 Containment Cell

Items:
Four small metal cylinders, sent through SCP-3. They contains several triangular sheets of paper, with strange glyphs written on them.
A micro snake camera.

SCPs:
SCP-2

Information:
SCP-1
SCP-2
SCP-3
(Translation information for SCP-3 glyphs)(gigantic comms wire through portal to other side)
SCP-4
SCP-5

((If Harry Baldman doesn't want the slot, Greatness can take it.))

[Zormod]

Spoiler: Kranlov Science Program (click to show/hide)

Grunts: Get some fans, and something to power them.

[Dustan Hache]

Meanwhile at The United States Postal Service

Spoiler: The A.R.R.. (click to show/hide)

(that... was surprisingly less expensive than expected. I thought it would use the blueprints for the general containment area, since that is the closest thing we have to cells at the moment. Also, dat sleeping bag luck roll.)
"well, this is all extremely convenient. I'll just find a nice patch of di- actually, no.
I want Fifteen grunts to start on some sort of on-site underground apartment. I don't find it fair to put you through sleeping out in the open or on the floor of a bunker. THEN I will find a nice patch of dirt to go sleep on, when I am done assigning everyone else their jobs."

"for the Contractor work, lets have 2 of our agents and 10 grunts handle it for now. I  Hope you all took your OSHA courses, people."

"Remaining agents. I have a important task for you. I need you to go adopt a dog from the pound.... What do you mean this is the most absurd task you ever heard!? this is a matter of life and death,and not just for the dog! now go get one, and try to make sure it is young and cute."
"Researcher, I need you to try and play psychiatrist for our poor unwilling resident. He is definitely in need of it, poor man. I want a report before you take any measures besides talking to him."

"the rest of you Grunts, I hope you served in the post office before. We made a small mistake and redirected all the mail for the white house here. We need to get it back on track, AFTER we find and secure the crate containing the anomalous playground in the new containment cells. 

Now, not going to be rude, but I need some rest. I don't drink coffee and I've lost track of how many days I have stayed up trying to mana-" He promptly collapses from exhaustion on the spot, possibly on the sleeping bag in his hands.

[FallacyofUrist]

turn finished.

[O.Wilde]

This is mostly a PTW, but also this is the most hilarious RTD I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Bravo.

[Dustan Hache]

Just as a idea for a poll, which foundation do you find funniest?

[SaberToothTiger]

Spoiler: RANCOR (click to show/hide)

Could you update my status, please? I acquired SCP-3 and it's not there. Also, what's the up side of sending many agents to missions?

Ooh-kay. Pay back the strange loan. Half my agents continue on the lead and a quarter of them looks for more potential attractions. The remaining quarters contacts the various dictatorships in Africa about the possibility to remove dissidents for money. Researchers will research advertisement to increase profits in the amusement park. Grunts shall operate the park to make sure of safety and to increase the profits. I shall send a discreet message to the CIA that I am willing to supply information for money and protection from the Egyptian government. Do not disclose my locations to them, though. Afterwards, I nap.