((Interesting Word there, rat.))
Uh.
"Maybe that wasn't a good idea? I don't think we'll be doing that again here... it seems... rude? Sorry, city folk? If I could find the airport I'd be gone faster, really."
Stow sword in a manner obvious that it's gone. Head out the hopefully now existing exit.
[Liquid Swords: 2]
You've put the sword away, but the statues look rather livid about the whole matter as they continue to surround you, inasmuch as a statue without a face can look livid at all. Looks like they've had just about enough of the airport talk as well. No, there's absolutely no way you can be permitted to remain here. A few of them move to apprehend you. This is when you notice another of the rats standing atop your head, and hear it squeak louder than anything you've heard before.
APOCALYPSE
[Word: 1]
The statues look up simultaneously as there is a rumble, and then a shift, and then a sudden cascading tremor that the very cellar itself moves to try and avert, but which only accelerates the destruction to follow - the ceiling cracks and opens as the ceilings suddenly tumble and fall, and the floor gives way beneath, opening up the depths of Elizabeth below you.
You fall and fall, the deafening roar of hundreds of tons of rubble trailing right behind you.
[To The Center Of The Earth: 5]
Eventually you impact the ground - softly, warmly. You bounce off the floor after having fallen no less than nine stories at the very least, and are launched to the side as the not-quite flesh tosses you aside, rolling to a stop where a wall nearly folds over you, but which you escape just in time before you are seized by it.
You find yourself in circumstances you wish weren't so familiar - here the walls and ceilings are still grayish, but with a glistening sheen and constant undulation that tells you unmistakably that they are to some extent still alive somehow, covered in small, nigh-invisible strands that pulse with warm yellow light that illuminates the leguminous chamber you've landed in. It smells strange in here, a mixture of hot stone and sweat, something metallic in the air as well as smoke and salt, and a lot more beyond that.
Eight bubbling golden spheres float along the far semicircular wall of the chamber, each fully the size of three men, letting off small bubbles now and again as it proceeds on some mysterious task. The bubbles populate the top of the chamber, mingling and floating about and occasionally fusing to form larger ones, rolling along the undulating ceiling at a relaxed pace. Every now and then they are joined by a... well, what you'd describe as a hairy bubble, one that's about your size, coming in from a bipartite passage at the center of the back wall - it touches a few bubbles each time before collapsing into a pile of liquid and seeping through a slightly larger passage next to the one it came in through - this one a little more porous and slightly larger. All of it chugs away at its own pace, paying you absolutely no mind, though you think one of the hairy bubbles pauses a moment and regards you suspiciously before proceeding on its business (mind you, you're not sure how you know that it did, but it was definitely a feeling you got from the way it waved its hairs at you).
At least your rats look awfully excited about this development, you guess. They appear to have their noses squarely pointed in the air, waving their heads to and fro and sniffing around and arguing between themselves on your shoulder about the significance of each part of the bouquet of scents they're picking up.
"Oh, er, yes. Excellent idea. Let's go right up."
Up we go, and probably out.
Ember takes you by the hand and pulls you upstairs, making just about the most manic forced giggle you've ever heard in her rush. The Madame looks on as you run upstairs - young love, you hear her mutter. Ought to charge a little extra if anything.
[The Nunnery Caper: 5]
You get low behind the railing along the upstairs balcony as Ember slams the door of a bedroom you pass by, stopping her forced giggle as you proceed further on into what must be the Madame's office, escaping notice as the two of you slip through the door where Cindy awaits.
[A Millennium's Savings: 3]
For her part she appears to have been very busy cracking an ancient-looking dusty safe with great aplomb, the door hanging open as she empties the stash of money inside into a pillowcase she looks to have appropriated on the way. She looks up - hey, she says, pretty good timing there. And you've brought Ember too, nice.
Ember gets right to the point: the Madame's been unpetrified. Cindy looks at you with her brow furrowed - why'd you do a thing like that, then? That kind of complicates the process of you getting out of here in a plausibly deniable fashion, she hopes you realize - y'see, you tend to do a lot better on making an escape against people who move at geological speeds, if that wasn't clear to you already.
She's likely going to check here in a couple of minutes at most, Ember says worriedly.
Right, Cindy says, that calls for an amendment to the plan. You're all going out the window then, she points to a small window on the far side of the dingy office. Walking up to it, she finds the window to be locked with a latch that takes a little effort to undue with all the rust on it, but it comes open after a second or two and Cindy leans out - yep, all clear down there.
You take a look as well - the office side of the nunnery appears to peer down into a sheer three-story drop all the way to the street, the catwalk that went along its side seemingly lost to architectural misadventure.
You turn to Cindy and mention that maybe this isn't the best plan. Nonsense, says Cindy as she slaps a similarly unconvinced Ember on the back, there's a web down there to catch anyone who falls so they don't break anything in the fall or wander off or what have you. It's all perfectly safe, y'see, if a bit sticky.
Daniels looks thoughtfully down at his manikin friend. "You're a good person, Linda," he says, doing the closest equivalent to ruffling someone's hair that he can.
Time for effort! Go find Peaks again.
Linda beams, and you notice that she does have a sort of curled hairstyle fashioned out of clay on her head - you ruffle that approvingly, which seems to make her so genuinely happy you almost don't manage to resist smiling yourself. Letting her sit on your shoulder for the time being waving her peg legs back and forth as you walk, you eventually find Peaks in suspicious proximity to your delightful minions, who are standing slightly down the hall from Mr. Fischgartner who in turn appears to have met Dan and drunk a mug of some kind of thick fluid that he's offered.
It looks like Mr. Fischgartner is about to explode now, or something similar - he looks like a metal cable about to snap and take someone's head off, looking like he's violently vibrating for a moment before you realize that's just what his breathing seems to be right now. Dan is politely explaining his adventures thus far to the guy, not particularly minding his obviously chemically altered state.
He asked for some Pick-Me-Up Juice, Pines explains to Peaks who has stopped right by them, realizing that walking closer would likely be unwise. To the minions' credit, the alchemist does look substantially amused as well as bewildered by this turn of events, and proceeds to ask about what exactly Pick-Me-Up Juice is. Pines posits that it's probably some kind of mating thing for jugglers, pheromones and shit. Day adds that nobody's drunk as much as Fischgartner over there, but from their testing a thimbleful or so it's a lot like amphetamines but, like, hella strong. Truthfully though, Fires candidly adds, fuck if they know what's really in it - anyway, they're not the alchemists here, though if there's something in it for them they'd definitely be willing to get a generous sampling for analysis and-
Peaks turns to you instead, looking mildly inconvenienced. Looks like your charming minions have tied up her test subject in the process of their reign of terror, she says, at least for the moment. She was kinda hoping to grab some more flesh off him for experiments, considering yours just went and inconsiderately turned into him all of a sudden. Don't suppose you'd care to make another donation?
Hm, this place might work, but I need to be at least a little rowdy tonight. Also I need to find some coins. That lady seems like the type to accept random bits of jewelry as payment, but I can't be sure.
"I'm just going to check the inn a couple blocks away, compare prices and whatnot. We'll probably be back."
I leave the bed and breakfast and head back to the stoat party. If the bars and taverns are still crowded, I find some people having a good time on the street. If there's drinking going on, I make sure to introduce myself as the monster hunter who killed the ghoul. That's sure to get me a few free drinks.
The woman seems to have no opinion one way or the other about your return, being about equally satisfied about the prospects of either getting some money or being permanently rid of you. Her cats, however, seem ineffably pleased for the moment.
[A Night Out On The Town: 5+1]
You find a party easily enough in a place called the Firs Aplenty - it's a bit difficult to get in at first, mind you, considering the place is quite packed, but flashing your badge and informing them you're the one responsible for the heroics during the day proves to be a remarkably effective social lubricant as the masses of jubilant stoats and humans alike part to give way and get you, the doctor and even Oggie a place to sit at the bar.
Naturally, everybody buys you drinks. It's actually a little hard to get them to stop as everyone crowds around you and clamors for a story, some kind of demonstration of your monster hunter powers (Oggie gives one of her Y/N looks) or even just general recognition - the one thing that strikes you about the public is how readily everyone introduces themselves. There's Tedward the butcher, Jimothy the carpenter, Timson from the docks, Youbin the lawyer-in-training, Cay the scholar-in-training who'd love to tell you all about her thesis on stoat linguistics before Yarbool the classically trained bard elbows her out of the way to give you a song they wrote immediately when they heard the news, so strong was the inspiration!
The Firs Aplenty nucleates all around you as attention falls on you, the stoats ready for just about any kind of fun you have in mind as the drinks keep coming, the tavern keeper looking ecstatic at the absolute blowout of basically all of his alcohol stores that this night appears to promise in the near future.
Eileen Minett, Monster Hunter
- Monster hunter's silver badge
- Monster hunting license
- Distilled alcohol (in flask, partially depleted)
- Spirits of salt (in clay jar, partially depleted)
- Soaps of elk, bear, bat and snake
- 3 flasks of lamp oil
- Oil lamp (unlit)
- Linen stoat shirt (worn, plasma-scorched)
- Stoat trousers (worn)
- Comfy slippers (worn)
- Tooth-handled hunting knife
- Black leather boots
- An assemblage of amber and amethysts
- Silver thread-necklace
- Onyx spiral earrings
- 2 oaken rings
- Rusty, bloodstained knife
- A Word: HUNGER
- A Word: SYNTHESIS
- A Weapon: Explosive Cysts
- A Weapon: Nightmare Blade
- Grenade Jumping: A Solid Technique
- The Good Doctor: Last of a Long Line
- Sword of the Sand People: Cleaning Supplies
- Sword of the Sand People: The Services of a Minder
- Higher Tonight: There And Back Again
- The Old Mistress: Monster Monster Hunter
- Our Old Bridge Is Falling Down: Hero of the City
- She Who Fights Monsters: The Ghoul Vanquished
Jack Daniels, Karate Man
- Linda the peg-legged manikin (lively, joyful)
- Red and gold vest and breeches combo (worn)
- Leather boots (worn)
- Rubber mattress (filled with water)
- 14031 gp (in sack)
- Poor Unfortunate Soul: Forever Captive
- The Queen's Guard: Actual Asset
- Powers of the Beyond: Gardener of Thoughts
- Garden of Thoughts: the Stoat-Magistrate
- Dusty Wooden Speaking-Trumpet
- Crossbow Bolt (in throat)
- A Word: REND
- A Word: SILENCE
- A Word: EXECRABLE
- A Weapon: Murder-Thought
- Uncoupled: Strength
- Wooden Door
- Induced Lucidity: The Silent Garden
- Elongated Affairs: Enemy of the New State
- 2 rats, crushed
- 1 rat, strangled
- 1 rat, live
- Doomstones: So High Up But Such A Bitter View
- The Majordomo: A Great Divide Between Us Now
- The Voracious Dark: Decreasing Demand
- The Voracious Dark: More Specific Requests
- The Vault of Heavens: Special Treatment
- Scars of Time: Unfortunate Business
- Process of Elimination: Pounds of Flesh
- The Night Sky: How Very, Very Quaint
- Fires, Pines & Day, Minions At Law: Dipper and Dan Double Duty
- They Call Me Doctor: Opportunistic Orderly
- Body Count: 3
Thomas Minstep, Insurance Agent
- A Word: ABSENCE
- A Word: GOODBYE
- A Word: WORM
- A Weapon: The Sword They Fear
- Insurance contracts, signed in triplicate: 12
- Nobody Cares
- Helen Clampitt
- Lily
- Undine and Prosper Eke
- Silver
- Tabernacle, treefisher scout
- Treefisher elder
- 4 treefishers
- Make A Man Out Of You: Battle-Tested
- The Grip of Tharn: Insurance Against The Storm
- Ranging fork
- 2 feet of sinew-thread
- Tooth-needle
- A Bowl, Black and Knobby
- Tight Leather Pants (worn)
- Incredibly Tight Blue Dress (worn, mutilated, mildly provocative)
- The Queen's Guard: A Reward Well Earned
- The New Queen: Lasting Gratitude
- The Box: Absolutely Delightful
- The Voracious Dark: The Place of Lost Souls
- The Voracious Dark: Testing Run
- Proof of Concept: An Interesting Student
- Clans of the Northern Wilderness: A Distraction
- The Living City: A Threat To Elizabeth
- His Educated Rodents: Rat-Bearer
- Body Count: 12
Oscar Wilde, Chemistry Teacher
- A Word: REVELATION
- A Word: THANKS
- The Wicked King's Missive On Economic Reform (in massive silver scroll case)
- Traces of Mischief: Glowing Facial Rift
- The Serpent's Egg: Dissemination
- Body Count: 4
- Cornerstone Helm (worn, out of light, collecting)
- Bottle of aspirin
- Time-ender's measure (wrapped, processing? stopping?)
- 10 m of rope
- Half a candle
- 1 rat, skinless and smoked
- 4 gp
- Lock of Hair (unidentified)
- Iron nail, unused
- An Inauspicious Key
- Moth-Eaten Hat (worn)
- Old Brown Waistcoat (worn)
- A Wealth of Burlap Ribbons
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: The Less Dangerous Friend
- The King's Court: The Greatest Gift of All
- The King's Court: The North Wind's Gift
- The King's Court: Makala's Old Glory
- The King's Court: The South Wind's Gift
- The King's Court: The West Wind's Gift
- The King's Court: A Gift For The Wicked King
- Wizzards Bargins: Copper Springs from Old Bobbleparts
- Wizzards Bargins: A Roll of Your Finest Sticky Tape
- Wizzards Bargins: Styli of Ancient Plumbago
- In High Spirits: But Not Very Useful In The Lab
- Traces of Mischief: Missing Finger
- Wall-Breaker: A Generous Tab
- No Rest For The Wicked: A Daring Escape Plan
Rindle Fischgartner, Evolutionary Biologist
- The Mind, It Goes A-Wandering: 1
- High quality gilded paisley bathrobe and matching slippers (worn)
- The New Flesh: The Best Kind of Accident
- Lift Me To The Sky: One Microsecond At A Time
- Empty wooden mug