"Allright then. Now listen well, boy, because I'm not gonna repeat this. Daddy is gonna beat you if you forget anything. In the beginning..."
Being comfortably drunk start telling the tale. Very abridged version of Brief History of Time, starting from Big Bang and ending with what I know/think I know about the situation here. Because everything is relevant. If I leave out dinosaur extinction then how I can explain my existance? It's very relevant for my existance.
[A Comprehensive Report: 1]
Where to start? In the beginning, say you, there was an event they call the big bang, and boy was the name apt. All the gods got together and then they-
Where'd the gods come from, asks the guard. You blow a raspberry at him for so rudely interrupting. The gods, you sneer! They came from lots of places. Some popped out of frost giants. Some
were frost giants. Or are frost giants. It's not really clear how a god and a frost giant differ, physiologically. And then there's a lad or two who went and got themselves licked out of blocks of ice - by a cow, actually. But the point is, they got together and then they-
Skip ahead, the guard says. To the relevant bits and whatnot. Fuck you, you reply, who's telling the story here?
[Disciplinary Measures: 4 vs. 4]
You lean forward to smack the fucker upside the head for his insolence and he aims a foot square at your nuts - being incredibly drunk, you kind of just fall on him before he can execute a proper kick, and after a short tussle you both sort of whirl toward different corners of the room. He lands on a vase, breaking it. You upset a small pile of pilfered garbage. He takes a moment to get himself into proper order. You don't really bother, just giving him a fist of honor as you sit up and stumble to your feet.
Okay, he says. Let you and him start over. You quit being cheeky, y'hear, and he'll not have the moral obligation to punt you in your cheeky nuts, eh? He's got places to be. Real soon, you know.
Gah, I think I need to loosen the laws of physics a little more. "CHAOS!" Then I whip out the sword arm and try to use it to cimb my way up.
You don't suppose it could hurt to get some more sorcery in here. Looks like the environment ought to be amenable to it, anyway, having little defined shape at the moment.
CHAOS
[Word: 2]
SEA
You don't feel this is quite productive as the response comes from the bright void. The sea below emits a powerful musical tone, another spray of annihilating light going past you.
CHAOS
An echo, you believe. A restating of the founding facts of this little mouth of uncreation. It is shockingly coherent for something so haphazardly thrown together. You should probably leave now.
[An Inconsistent Reach: 1]
Whipping out your blade arm, you try and hook it onto a nearby piece of rubble, but one of the light bubbles interferes, nicked by pure accident. Regardless, the arm stops in place, immovable by your hand for a long second as it begins to recall a history of sorts. Two centuries of its original purpose come flooding out as a wave of blood, ichor and fear. It feels right at home in this strange atmosphere, splitting into rich red and black ribbons, gore serpents forming with the final expressions of unwary plunderers and witless pilgrims on their faces, their last screams repeating over and over again like vicious bloody birdsong.
Thirteen and a half lives claimed. The first one, executed with perfection, humanity excised with a single stroke. It laughs, freed of an eternity of being forgotten. The tenth, once garbed in steel. The first sign of dullness. He died for hours, unable to move. Its suffering is well-aged indeed, and well-recorded by stone and iron alike. The others, their memories less clear, form a choir of similar screams, a backing for the others.
And then there is the last one, a half-serpent. Stunted, what little features of it can be discerned are undoubtedly yours, its alien blood giving rise to the most hideous screaming of all. It circles you aggressively, much closer than the others and with no doubt about its intent. You sense a burning desire for completion emanating from it.
"Ah good, some clarification hopefully."
Wait for these superiors to explain the siege situation. If needed, repeat my request. Don't get shot or anything, obviously.
[Opening of Negotiations: 1]
It takes a while for the superiors to get their shouts in order, and for someone to fashion a speaking trumpet out of a particularly oddly-shaped plundered helmet on the spur of the moment, and for a few stoatmen to make a stoatman pyramid for one of the commanders to stand on so that their voice may carry better, and then about a minute more while everyone quiets down and a basis of communication is established.
Human, shouts the tallest stoat commander present from atop the pyramid, having established her supremacy over the others through cunning argument, physical presence and slight violence. Your queen bears the weight of the crimes of the old state, ones that can only be repaid by her gruesome execution. Similarly, the people of this castle are responsible for harboring the last of the royal bloodline, and have thus incurred the everlasting wrath of the new state. Surrender and die with efficiency.
If you do not, you will be starved to helplessness within the month, at which point your walls will be breached, your men and women will be captured, fed and nourished to fullness and good health, then tortured to death over a period of months in order to excise their crimes from this world. Their corpses will be fashioned into preserved works of sculpture to be set up in Anglefork in order to commemorate the victory of the new state for the next fifty years. Any of their descendants and relatives will suffer the same fate at a time of their local governor's choosing. Their names and legacies will be stricken from record afterward, and their existence will be invalidated forevermore, as will yours.
If you do surrender, however, your deaths will be quick and painless and your bodies will not be put on display, and no examples shall be made of any of your relatives or potential loved ones (aside from the ones that really ask for it).
Furthermore, any further minder interference will carry dire repercussions for the remnants of their order both in the new state and abroad. Surrender now, lest you fall under the shadow of the One.
That is all.
"Ah, so they've moved? Do you know where they've gone?"
A lead amidst the tragedy?
He does not. It would be desirable if someone were to find out for him. If you do happen to discover anything on the topic, report back to his office immediately for a reward. Incentivizing such initiative is a vital part of guard captaincy. The girl perks up a little at this. What if she were to bring this information and a full ring of castle keys to his office, she asks. Compound incentives, the captain replies, awarded according to a strict tier system.
Now, if that will be all, he still has seven minutes and twelve seconds of walking to attend to before he can return to work.
Uhm. Well. Uhhh... fine, sure.
Om nom nom
[Treats of Mystery: 3]
It tastes salty-sweet, with a touch of moldiness. The chef watches with incredible curiosity, urging you on to eat quickly. Best to force as much of it down before your stomach realizes something's up in their experience.
Quite a few servants gather round as you eat, seemingly also very interested in your dietary habits. Some pat the chef on the back, whispering to them surreptitiously as you get to the bottom of the bowl and feel absolutely no richer or poorer for it (or, rather, you feel simultaneously as full as your queasiness allows you to be, lingering on the very edge of nascent nausea).
You thank the chef for their offering mostly out of politeness, eliciting a hoot of approval from the servants a few seconds afterwards. The chef raises their arms in what is obviously a victorious pose after a few seconds. The kitchen comes alive with rising cheers, and is followed by the chef and quite a few servants running off in a group. You're not really sure what that's about, to be honest.
Leif Erikson, Miner
- A Word: INEVITABLE
- Wounds: 3
- The Queen's Guard: A Roaring Good Time
- Reappropriated, Clean Skirt
- 1 gp
- Anglefork Castle: A Free Man
- The Box: ?
- Tower of the Mind: Convenient Relocation
- Induced Inebriation: Comfortably Drunk
- Induced Lucidity: A Concert For The Gods
- The Prison Stone
- Elongated Affairs: No Time For Your Shit
- Compatibility: Minding
- Tricks of the Mind: Cormick's Condescending Riddle
- Tricks of the Mind: Perceptual Rebuke
- Tricks of the Mind: Erikson's Inexplicable Grapefruit
- Tricks of the Mind: Speak With The Mob
- Party in the Courtyard: Celebration in Earnest
- Never In: Swallowed By The Pit
- Gods of the Underground: Did You Just What
- Labyrinths of Anglefork: Tunnel-Literate
- The Voracious Dark: Two Deals Made
- The Voracious Dark: The Promised Sixth
- Army of the New State: 455 Suspicious Stoats
Eileen Minett, Vinyl Collector
- Wounds: 1
- Traces of Mischief: A Bubbling Scar
- Reclaimed Hooded Robe (worn, quite comfortable)
- An Arm And A Blade (blunted, lacking in spirit)
- A Word: HUNGER
- A Word: CHAOS
- A Weapon: Explosive Cysts
- Rat Pantheon: Disliked
- Traces of Mischief: Mouthful of Blackness
- Traces of Mischief: Loosened Smile
- Origins: Witness to Dissolution
- Tower of the Mind: There's Something To Remember
- The New Queen: And Something To Forget
- The Queen's Guard: Bringer of Doom
- Touch of Flame: the Secrets of Flammability
- Inscribed Brick ('Water')
- The Voracious Dark: Two Connections Given
- Body Count: 1
- Never In: the Obvious Candidates
- Labyrinths of Anglefork: Above An Ancient Sea
- The Impromptu Prophecy: the Sensible Solution
- Sweet Little Children: Kindness
- A History of Violence: Call of the Beyond
Jack Daniels, Karate Man
- Naked
- Dusty Wooden Speaking-Trumpet
- A Word: REND
- A Word: SILENCE
- A Weapon: Murder-Thought
- Traces of Mischief: A Bisected Left Kidney
- Traces of Mischief: Ruined Left Hand
- Uncoupled: Strength
- Wooden Door (held)
- The Majordomo: ?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: the Path Revealed
- Tower of the Mind: Endless Well of Mystery
- Induced Lucidity: A Garden Well-Tended
- Elongated Affairs: Open And Closed
- Doomstones: ?
- A Place In History: Emergent Abomination
- Anglefork Castle: the Great Serpent
- The Obsolete Class: Suggested Victims
- 2 rats, crushed
- 1 rat, strangled
- 1 rat, live
- Touch of Flame: the Second Degree
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Sunday ± 2 Days
- The Impromptu Prophecy: There's A Mountain Higher Than We Knew
- The Voracious Dark: Three Connections Given
- The Good Doctor: A Recommendation
- Body Count: 2
- Wounds: 1
Thomas Minstep, Insurance Agent
- A Word: ABSENCE
- Traces of Mischief: Nausea's Edge
- A Bowl, Black and Knobby
- Anglefork Castle: From Another Time, Another Land
- Gross Incandescence: Partly Illuminated
- Tight Leather Pants (worn, wet)
- Incredibly Tight Blue Dress (worn, mutilated, mildly provocative)
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Saturday, July 24th, 409 S.D.
- The Majordomo: Busy Morning
- The Good Doctor: House Call
- The Queen's Guard: Okayed by the Queen
- The New Queen: Starting The Day Right
- Tower of the Mind: A Friendly Suggestion
- The Obsolete Class: Let Them Be
- Cruelty-Free Foods: A Robust Offering
- Body Count: 2
- Army of the New State: 455 Stout Strangers
Oscar Wilde, Chemistry Teacher
- Wounds: 1
- 6 gp
- Poor Misshapen Dice
- Lock of Hair (unidentified)
- Iron nail, unused
- An Inauspicious Key
- Burlap Foot Wrappings (worn)
- Burlap Hand Wrappings (worn)
- Moth-Eaten Hat (worn)
- Respectable Brown Skirt (worn)
- Old Brown Waistcoat (worn)
- Bright Yellow Tunic (worn)
- Blue Shards of a Probable Bottle
- Blue Glass Shiv
- A Wealth of Burlap Ribbons
- An Obsolete Class: Trustworthy Individual
- The Flip Side: An Unclear Trail
- The Doom Guard: Incentivizing Outcomes
- A Frightening Door: An Understanding
- The Voracious Dark: Backed Away