"Hell yeah, I'm fine. Now then, how to get that sun window without breaking it.
...
Oh, there's that priest! Maybe he can help."
Wake the priest up without killing or hurting him. If I manage this, ask him how he got those stained glass windows in here. And how one could possible remove them without shattering them.
[To Recall The Spirit: 3]
You shake the priest intently, eager to get his input on your grand ambitions of theft. He is entirely limp in your hands, looking like he's suffered quite a bit in his time. Mostly he seems quite burnt. And also somewhat unresponsive, even after he opens his eyes and looks off into the space right behind you. You ask him if he perhaps feels like helping you out with stealing that other window over there. Wouldn't want something to
happen to it like with the other one, now would he?
It is to no avail, however. The priest makes no acknowledgement of your request, merely looking bewildered as he ineffectually struggles in your arms, weak as a kitten even without comparison to your own uncoupled abilities.
Well, I've done plenty of worse things today than touch a dead body. I reach in and grab anything that does not feel like part of a corpse. Something swordy would probably be ideal.
[Ominous Contents: 2]
You reach into the sarcophagus with both hands, searching it by sense of touch. There ought to be something of value in there somewhere.
A corpse is found readily enough, transformed by the ages. Its arms and legs jut upwards with unexpected rigor, pressing upon the lid passively, the entire stiff body locked into a position suggestive of a desperate attempt at escape, its limbs holding fast and oddly fibrous beneath a layer of what you think is ceremonial armor, now cracked and largely fallen apart. Through the cracks along the corpse's entire surface you feel small bulbs jutting out, fruiting bodies in full bloom erupting from the joints where the armor is thinnest and the mouth and eyes hidden beneath a broken clay death mask. The chest of its ancient suit in turn appears to have been broken by sheer persistence and weathering, a large fungal forest running from chin to pelvis having broken out through the layers of bronze, enveloping what you think may have once been a zweihander resting across its front.
The corpse lays there on a fuzzy bed of overgrown mold that coats the entire inner surface of the sarcophagus, feeling a lot like dust before you run your fingers over conspicuous little orbs of spores that deflate at the slightest touch. You are most unsurprised when you find the sarcophagus to be compromised at one end, a crack in the bottom right next to the corpse marked by a conspicuous eruption of what feel like a myriad species of subterranean fungi, most of which you think you've found already in other spots along the sarcophagus. Some are dry, some are damp, and some feel unsettlingly hard and sharp.
You elect to pull back, the corpse's possessions seemingly as much a part of the corpse now as its arms and legs. The sweet, mildly earthy scent of the sarcophagus lingers over your hands and forearms.
"Hey wench, what knock limit? I didn't sign up for this kind trap play. I'm not staying here for a month! And I kinda don't like this darkness here. I have bad experiences with those, even if this one actually has eyes."
INEVITABLE escape, or at least change in situation. Got stoats to visit.
When your eyes have failed you, you'll use your head and hands. And when that fails, you'll damn well keep trying until your teeth fall out. Nothing will keep you from your goal. Whatever that is. You possibly forget.
INEVITABLE
[Word: 3]
The top is not the way out. You see yourself try for hours - every combination leads to the same result, nothing. What little manipulation is possible serves only to distract and to mislead.
You turn to the bottom. Much more promising down there. Eight different panels along the walls, each leading to a different crawlspace which in turn leads into unknown darkness. A single larger panel, hidden relatively poorly along the bottom wall, reminiscent of a regular door in size. A puzzling configuration of tiles on the wooden flooring at the bottom - you see yourself trying at it for interminable lengths of time and failing throughout. Or are you failing? You think something happens, but nothing you can feel.
"And what'd the Benzerwaldians do to them? Why would they make a entire state based on a poorly-chosen descriptor of stature?"
More silly questions
[A Very Silly Question: 4]
Stoutness breeds true, he says. Truer than humanity. And stout folk are quite mad generally, you know. Was really a matter of time before they erupted from their stout-towns, all thirsting for the blood of righteous folk. The king tried his best, bless his departed soul, but by that point it was not enough, and the cities began to fall.
"The Sun set on the state of Benzerwald as stout men chased the royal house to the ends of the earth, eager to end them as an idea, to erase the thought of their former lords from the parlance of the time," he grimly recounts. His daughter wrote that, you know. She was one of the court chroniclers back when there
was a court. He was so very proud of her.
This is getting beyond belief. At least I didn't drop all the sacks there, did I? I think?
Wedge a shard of glass upright where possible, cut a sack open on it.
[Clever Manipulations: 4]
The best thing about a stone floor, you decide, is the ample space for sticking things into the cracks. There are plenty of those, especially between blocks, and one of them proves large enough for one of your smaller glass shards. That done, you drag over one of the remaining sacks of gold and carefully slice it along the protruding bit of glass.
In an unexpected twist, this does actually appear to work, resulting in a thorough gutting of the sack and a generous spilling of gold. You probably could have opened the sack first, of course, and emptied it of gold beforehand so as to minimize risk of the shard breaking under the weight. But you suppose this works too.
Leif Erikson, Miner
- A Word: INEVITABLE
- Wounds: 1
- Reappropriated, Clean Skirt
- 1 gp
- Anglefork Castle: A Free Man
- The Box: ?
- Tower of the Mind: a Lack of Patience
- Imaginary Inebriation: South of Sobriety
- Induced Lucidity: the Burning Church
- The Prison Stone
- Elongated Affairs: A Noble Task
- Elongated Affairs: The Numbers of the Stoat
- Compatibility: Minding
- Tricks of the Mind: Cormick's Condescending Riddle
- Tricks of the Mind: Perceptual Rebuke
- Tricks of the Mind: Erikson's Inexplicable Grapefruit
- Party in the Courtyard: Celebration in Earnest
- Never In: Swallowed By The Pit
- Gods of the Underground: Did You Just What
- Labyrinths of Anglefork: Endless Paths
- The Voracious Dark: Two Deals Made
- The Voracious Dark: The Promised Sixth
Eileen Minett, Vinyl Collector
- Wounds: 2
- Naked
- A Word: HUNGER
- A Word: CHAOS
- A Weapon: Explosive Cysts
- Rat Pantheon: Disliked
- Traces of Mischief: Mouthful of Blackness
- Origins: Witness to Dissolution
- Tower of the Mind: There's Something To Remember
- The New Queen: And Something To Forget
- The Queen's Guard: Bringer of Doom
- Gross Incandescence: Crumbling Shell
- Touch of Flame: the Secrets of Flammability
- Inscribed Brick ('Water')
- The Voracious Dark: Two Connections Given
- Body Count: 1
- Never In: the Obvious Candidates
- Labyrinths of Anglefork: Tomb of the Valiant Knights
- The Impromptu Prophecy: the Sensible Solution
Jack Daniels, Karate Man
- Voluntarily Naked
- Traces of Mischief: A Bisected Left Kidney
- Uncoupled: Strength
- Wooden Door (held)
- The Majordomo: A Most Displeasing Brigand
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: the Sword of Destiny
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: Something Priceless?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: An Unspeakable Garment
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: A Profane Megalith
- Tower of the Mind: Endless Well of Mystery
- Induced Lucidity: A Garden Well-Tended
- Doomstones: ?
- A Place In History: Emergent Abomination
- Anglefork Castle: the Great Serpent
- 2 rats, crushed
- 1 rat, strangled
- 1 rat, live
- Touch of Flame: the Second Degree
- Gross Incandescence: Unilluminated
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Sunday ± 2 Days
- The Impromptu Prophecy: There's A Mountain Higher Than We Knew
- The Voracious Dark: Two Connections Given
- The Good Doctor: A Recommendation
- Body Count: 2
Thomas Minstep, Insurance Agent
- A Word: ABSENCE
- Anglefork Castle: From Another Time, Another Land
- Gross Incandescence: Partly Illuminated
- Tight Leather Pants (worn, wet)
- Incredibly Tight Blue Dress (worn, mutilated, mildly provocative)
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Friday, July 23rd, 409 S.D.
- The Majordomo: A Blithering Lunatic
- The Queen's Guard: Okayed by the Queen
- The New Queen: Within the Margin of Sanity
- Tower of the Mind: the Quest for Signage
- Body Count: 1
- Army of the New State: 455 Stout Strangers
Oscar Wilde, Chemistry Teacher
- Naked
- Wounds: 2
- Blue Shards of a Probable Bottle
Imagine how put out I was when I realized I failed to post the turn I wrote up last night and all the writing I did was lost (hint: put out enough for the string of profanities to attract outside attention).
Hopefully this very close imitation will suffice.