"Well, compensation is really a combination of salary and benefits, is it not? Increase the benefits and it's as if you're increasing the salary without actually doing so! Plus, the decrease of net risk to you makes it essentially free to you! Why, let me tell you the story of another client of ours..."
Continue the pitch!
[On The Nature of Employment Benefits: 1]
It's just smoke and mirrors, isn't it? She can give the royal guards whatever they please, and it doesn't matter one bit. There's just no real backing for any of it, the queen explains. There's gold that nobody wants and that nobody can spend. There are the rats, which are of no use if they survive. And there are favors, of which there are none of any real value.
Listen, there is an
army out there, waiting for the day when the people in here have been starved out to sufficient weakness to permit their mass slaughter, and here you are talking about
employment benefits for the royal guard of all things. It's balderdash! Insanity!
"Okay then, I'll give a connection. If I have one to give. In return ... May I request the complete knowledge of the metaphysics of this universe, including how to operate them. Magic, basically. The words and all that?
My question - again, if I have a connection to give - is the closest location of a purple object - preferably an impressive one."
Your fulfillment: the metaphysics of the universe are a matter of perspective (see relativity of reality, nature of perception, elusiveness of true knowledge). Narrowing the question, your sphere of interest appears to be magic. Explanation: your high compatibility with the well allows the context-sensitive manipulation of the world through linguistic units applied from special revelations (see words, magic, context-dependent words of magic). Words are deployed through your interpreter (see interpreter, vessel composition, universality of language) and cause localized distortions in reality that tend to be unpredictable in success rate and results, but allow for results normally impossible within the metaphysical framework of the universe you inhabit. In essence they are the utilization of the interpreter to persuade the universe to behave otherwise (see universality of language, efforts of will, lies-to-children). Words depend on ancillary elements such as gestures, thoughts and actions to elaborate their effects, and are thus highly multifunctional. You are capable of deploying a single spoken Word at a time (see interpreter, limitations of universality of language, compact solutions). The deployment of several spoken Words at a time increases or dampens their effects (see interference, unity of context, apocalyptic events). The attainment of a Word typically requires an important resolution of ambiguity (see ambiguity, vessel functions, rewards beyond imagining).
Your answer: the majordomo has a parade robe to present himself to minders. It is purple and gold. He will not part with it, but he is old and weak. He dwells in the keep.
Your price: a connection now belongs to the well.
Welp, Time to go give the good news to the Queen. Descend!
[Triumphant Descent: 6]
[Stone's Aid: 3]
You step atop the stone and tell it to carry you to the keep! It seems to be terribly honored to carry you once again. A very good display of magical fireworks, master. It only wishes it could muster up half of your style and unmitigated charm. It is its greatest privilege to be able to convey you to report your success. These people will soon know better than to have ever doubted your greatness!
[A Vindictive Rebuttal: 5 vs. 5]
A bolt flies uncomfortably past your head as you descend a few floors, the stone's graceful, deliberate floating as well as telltale glow making you a very easy target for the still 500-odd stoatmen hanging out by the outer earthworks, having been put on heights of alert seldom seen before by modern eyes by your display of power. It is soon followed by another, then another, and you find yourself in an uncomfortable rain of projectiles coming from positions you can't quite see on account of the illumination of your footing deepening the distant shadows in which they no doubt reside.
The stone asks if you'd like to be conveyed to the keep's roof a little faster, or if you'd instead like to bask in their impotent hatred of your radiant, perfect shape.
"Ah, yes. The minders. I don't know how else to say this, so I'll be straightforward. They have died, but they left us ways to access their power. I believe we can use this to defeat the stoats. The thing is, this is arcane magic with strange rules and I can't tap into it without others. Would you be willing to help? It shouldn't take long."
Claire takes a long drink from her mug as you mention the deaths of the minders, looking melancholy as you explain what you need. This is hope you offer, she says as she takes your hand. A terrible thing to offer lightly. She hopes you understand this, because she will trust you.
Tell her what you need. And tell her why.
This guy isn't really helping. Leif steps away from the well (mostly to avoid barrage of fragments) and thinks better ways to find minders. Hmm, how about asking? Literally ask everybody at one by shouting very loud: "Where are the minders!? Don't tell me in tower because there was none!"
[Raving into the Dark: 3]
Nobody seems to feel like answering your query. The keep's door guards roll their eyes, wondering if perhaps another stay in jail may be in order for you. Other than that, no signs of life present themselves.
[An Unlikely Demonstration: 6-1 vs. 1]
In fact, they are altogether delighted when you are interrupted by a fragment of a possibly blue bottle embedding itself into one of your carotid arteries after proceeding along an unlikely trajectory probably aimed more by ear, a half-blocked arterial spray painting it a very definite red. As a little of your generously spilling blood flies down into the well (that blood pressure really is something, you find), you hear a hearty whoop-whoop of triumph.
[A Healthy Crossfire: 4-1 vs. 4]
This is accompanied by a sudden rain of crossbow bolts from the heavens. None of them hit you, but you think more than mere peasants have taken offense at your question, to be frank.
Eric Codeburn, COMPUTISTICS SPECIALIST
- Wounds: 1
- Body Count: 8
- Floral Nightgown (worn, burnt)
- A Word: SUN
- A Word: MOON
- Anglefork Castle: Minister of Moronic Affairs
- The Impromptu Prophecy: Child of the Sun and Moon
- Adherents of the Great House: Enemy of Memory
- Well and Truly Narked Upon: 1
- Friends in Low Places: a Successful Transaction
- Subordinate Shining Stone (2 tons, emotional)
- Army of the New State: 561 Stoatmen
- Army of the New State: Not Enough Exclamation Marks In The World
- The Good Doctor: the Solitary Candidate
- A Splendid View: the Tower of the Mind
Leif Erikson, Miner
- Wounds: 1
- Reappropriated, Clean Skirt
- 1 gp
- Anglefork Castle: A Free Man
- The Box: an Amicable Parting
- Tower of the Mind: Number Two
- Induced Lucidity: An Example Realm
- The Prison Stone
- Elongated Affairs: A Noble Task
- Elongated Affairs: The Numbers of the Stoat
- Dubious Acquaintances: the Broken Bottle
Eileen Minett, Vinyl Collector
- A Word: HUNGER
- A Weapon: Explosive Cysts
- Queenly Garments: the Humble Dress (damaged)
- Sticks: 0.95 (total)
- Rat Pantheon: Disliked
- Traces of Mischief: Mouthful of Blackness
- The New Queen: ?
- Origins: Witness to Dissolution
- Tower of the Mind: There's Something To Remember
- Gross Incandescence: Highly Illuminated
- Inscribed Brick ('Water')
- The Voracious Dark: Two Connections Given
- Body Count: 1
- Army of the New State: Not Enough Exclamation Marks In The World
- Never In: A Worthwhile Endeavor
Jack Daniels, Karate Man
- Wounds: 1
- Voluntarily Naked
- Uncoupled: Strength
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: the Sword of Destiny
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: Something Priceless?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: Something Purple?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: A Profane Megalith
- Tower of the Mind: Incidental Abomination
- Doomstones: ?
- A Place In History: Emergent Abomination
- Anglefork Castle: the Great Serpent
- 2 rats, crushed
- 1 rat, strangled
- 1 rat, live
- Gross Incandescence: Unilluminated
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Sunday ± 2 Days
- The Impromptu Prophecy: ?
- The Voracious Dark: Two Connections Given
- Body Count: 1
Thomas Minstep, Insurance Agent
- Anglefork Castle: Deluded Resident
- Traces of Mischief: Sandy Groin
- Gross Incandescence: Partly Illuminated
- Tight Leather Pants
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Friday, July 23rd, 409 S.D.
- The Majordomo: Happy to Help
- The Queen's Guard: Permission to Leave Immediately
- The New Queen: Collapsing Pretenses
Another day's turn missed, but this time due to actual business. I shall try and do better nevertheless.