Don the robe. Make sack a regular sack of gold. Go hide somewhere.
You slip out of your gold-backed tunic, noting that in your body's absence it appears to have four large holes in it of roughly the diameter of your limbs. It is these very holes that seem to make actual storage of gold in it mostly impossible (well, unless you're simultaneously wearing it, in which case it might lose a coin or two every now and then, but not a whole lot in any case.
You feel naked without the warm embrace of your gold, which is appropriate since you totally are. So you slip into the new robe you stole with some quickness, and note that it's much softer than the combination of gold and burlap you were wearing before, and less grubby than your average sack of potatoes.
Of course, now you do happen to have a large pile of gold on the chapel floor, which seems quite conspicuous. And the priestess checking the place right next door for anyone caring to disrupt her heresy also seems to be a perfectly plausible thing. Lacking any cover, you go for the obvious plan and hide in plain sight, burying yourself in the gold on the ground. It works pretty well once you curl up, you think! You can't really see anything underneath all the warm coins, of course, but the principle is sound. And you can surprise any would-be looters, too.
"Huh. Prevail against what? And ya gonna make a sword or something? Not to brag but I'm a fairly good warrior, so if you wanted to make me a weapon so I'm less likely to die here I wouldn't be complaining."
More questions!
"The forces of darkness!" the boy explains. You ask him which ones he would mean, and he relays to you with much exclamation that there happens to be a mess of those in the area. Weird-looking lads with long torsos and short limbs, stoatmen. They want to kill everyone in the castle, you see. Including the fair princess. Well, she's queen now, actually, but essentially a princess for the purposes of this narrative.
Enlightening, you must say. What about the weapon? You're a punching, kicking sort of person, but you'd suppose stabbing is a more practical solution for the mass murder he likely means. Collapsing that many tracheae would be tough on the ol' knuckles.
He and you are clearly on the same page, you think he says, and you've got a certain orlay to your step. But that brings him to the issue at hand, which is that he has no weapons for you. He made one, but it was not anywhere near hero material. Didn't shine, didn't glimmer, didn't slice through stone, didn't have an insatiable hunger for blood.
Only reasonable thing to do was to melt it down, clearly. There shall be no average blades in the hands of our heroes, this the boy can guarantee.
Mr Codeburn's obviously a dangerous criminal who leaves people stranded in pits and violently steals clothes. Or maybe he's just confused and misguided. Either way point to where he went.
Just after the priestess leaves, Benny waves to Eileen. "Hiya. Benny Calverly. Sorry about the nakedness."
You and Ms. Minett helpfully point the priestess straight toward the chapel. She looks and her eyes narrow. "I should have known," she mutters, gripping the sharp spike in her hand a little tighter as she heads straight for it, pushing the doors open and casting an eye inside for a moment before stepping in cautiously. You suppose that's sorted, then.
You then proceed to have an absolutely delightful chat with Ms. Minett about what exactly is going on around here. Finally, someone vaguely helpful.
"The honorable turnkey has informed you correctly. You see, when I woke up today I wasn't in my own bed. Instead I found myself in a tub filled with rats. Rather unpleasant way to wake up, I assure you. And I wasn't the only one, there was four other people in similar situation. These rat filled tubes were underground room under the country yard. Now, in the room were three other men who I assume were responsible of bringing us here. I assume this because one them welcomed us and said something about salvation. At this point I'm afraid he might have died, so his introductions and explanations were cut short. As for why remaining two weren't helpful is because they were missing their heads. Presumably removed by the remaining man as his hands were in quite bad shape. You see, "salvation" and "imprisonment" are not synonyms, therefore I'm led to presume my imprisonment is a mistake by overzealous guards, who took offense in my desire to quickly find a bath."
Wow, what a mouthful. Loki is better be proud.
Elaborated.
The guard looks on as you explain, raising an eyebrow at the mention of dead bodies in the old courtyard well. But he says nothing until you are done.
"Noted," he says, then takes a minute to consider you. "The circumstances are not genuinely extenuating, and do not excuse assault on the citizenry. The information provided is of interest, however, and qualifies the imprisoned for a reduction of jail time by half."
And how much does that leave you with, you wonder?
"Until nightfall," the guard replies. "The normal time would be until morning, but we can safely make an exception in an extraordinary case. The imprisoned will also be bestowed with a bucket of water. The bucket will need to be returned. The water will not."
I also point to where Mr. Codeburn went. He seems like trouble.
I then turn to Mr. Calverly. "Hey, I'm Eileen. It's no big deal, it took me a lot of effort to find this dress. Have you figured anything out about this place?"
You and Mr. Calverly show the priestess the way, and she seems a mixture of thankful and starkly murderous. She runs off after Mr. Codeburn to hopefully resolve their moral differences in a friendly and/or lawful fashion, leaving you in front of an empty... well, you'd say it's kind of a negative ruin, since the nearby chapel appears to have been partially undone to build this ugly thing.
You make good use of your time by having a chat with Mr. Calverly. He seems a bit less informed than you on things, and that's quite a lack of information indeed.
Eric Codeburn, COMPUTISTICS SPECIALIST
- Wounds: 1
- 12 gp (non-sequential)
- Perforated Burlap Sack
- Inscribed Brick ('Water')
- Anglefork Castle: Demon Prince
- The Impromptu Prophecy: A Job Well Done
- Sun-Priest's Robe (worn)
- Adherents of the Great House: Enemy of the Faith
- Well and Truly Narked Upon
Benny Calverly, Barber
- Naked
- Finally Out Of The Damn Hole
- Finely Crafted Knotted Sack-Club
- Rat Pantheon: Enemy of the Gestalt
Leif Erikson, Miner
- Traces of Gore: Bits On One's Bits
- Reappropriated Skirt
- 1 gp
- License to Bathe
- Anglefork Castle: Lunatic
- The Prison Stone
- Elongated Affairs: A Noble Task
- Elongated Affairs: The Numbers of the Stoat
- Wounds: 1
Eileen Minett, Vinyl Collector
- Queenly Garments: the Humble Dress
- Sticks: 0.95 (total)
- Rat Pantheon: Disliked
- Traces of Mischief: Mouthful of Blackness
- Anglefork Castle: the New Queen's Confidant
- Doomstones: An Interest
Jack Daniels, Karate Man
- Gravel-Ridden
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: the Sword of Destiny
- The Apron of Mediocrity