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Author Topic: Our Salvation: It Is Written  (Read 264553 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #30 on: November 20, 2015, 04:20:27 pm »

Believing the word to be a magical spell, Robert attempts to draw power from some sort of inner mana-reserve, or whatever the hell he has, and speak the word. Failing that, he attempts write the word with whatever makeshift writing tools he can find.
Speak the word aloud. If that does nothing, write it down.

WATER, you say. It stings a little as you say it. Perhaps it does not like you using it so lightly.

You walk over to the pot full of sticks and break off the end of one easily. Feels sandy and crumbly, and a blacker stick you haven't seen in your life. Purposefully you step to the nearby wall and begin vandalizing it with your word, but the small writing piece crumbles in your hands, leaving black stains all over your fingers. Now they smell like medicine and ash, which you must grudgingly admit is preferable to the scent of agitated rat.

Escape! Well, hopefully.

"We've got to get out of this room." I shove the gross man away from the center of the room and start stacking bricks below the grate to climb up on.

WATER, you hear. You're not sure what that might be referring to. Hopefully not the rain. The drainage here seems nonexistent.

You try and push Mr. Erikson out of the way, finding him deeply objectionable, but he refuses to budge, merely giving you a stern look. You push for a few moments more, but it is of no use. As such, you elect to make him the base of your tower. Solidity of this sort should not be wasted. Grabbing an armful of bricks - they're much heavier than they look, and they certainly did not have the look of feathers to begin with - you start stacking them at his feet as he rants at the ceiling grate, fashioning the rough equivalent of a staircase that would hopefully lead up to his shoulders, from which reaching the grate ought to be simple. He even kindly kneels down to relieve the unhelpful man of his robe and rub his hand on his naked flesh, which you fail to question in the face of the wonderful opening for your ascent that it provides.

"Yes, we are very much done! Thanks for asking! Wanna help us up? And get a bath ready. This place is filthy!"

Shouting up with sarcastic tone in my voice. Evaluate sanity of relieving the guy in my hand of his clothes and wearing it myself. Either way, drop him and clean my hand properly on his clothes. Terrorists do not need gentle treatment.

Your last request is cut off by sudden WATER, but the silhouette up top appears to get the gist anyway.

"You are done! Grand! Open the grate then and I'll throw you down the chain!" shouts the silhouette. Finally someone agreeable. You drop the man you're holding on his face again so as to not mess his clothes up further, and evaluate briefly whether his robe would be sufficient to cover your naked body, and quickly reason that it would indeed. Ripping off the robe with your bare hands you tie it around your hips as a thick skirt, the spattering of blood and bone you left on the inside providing your soft bits with much-needed warmth even if a few bony splinters poke you here and there. Nothing you're not used to, at any rate.

Once the skirt is quite done and you find yourself looking positively stunning once more, you notice that the terrorist's now-naked body has remained largely clean, so you wipe your gory hand on his back in a bold stroke, getting the gristle off reasonably well.

Grab a brick as well, toss it in the sack. Examine possibilities of grabbing another, smaller sack of gold for use as a flail. Then Indicate willingness to exit to grate man.

Attempting to hold the sack with one hand is a risky proposition. Putting it down in the hopes of lifting it again is a riskier one. So you go with the former and fetch one of the bricks, wondering what's got Mr. Johnson so excited. Standing there for perhaps a moment too long looking at it, you notice there's something written on it.

"Water". How odd. WATER, your better instincts and also the whole room somehow attempt to correct you, but no, you're pretty sure it's "water". Might be worth something, you never know. You chuck it in your bag and seize it once again in two hands. Your spine begins to plot elaborate revenge for your crimes against it as you go back for another sack to hit people with, and you find a minutely smaller-looking one that you think will do. Letting the other bag rest on your back you go for the one on the ground, and somehow manage to lift it and hoist it over your other shoulder.

It occurs to you that this shouldn't be possible, and physics promptly agrees as your knees buckle and you fall, the combined weight of two full potato sacks of coin mashing you into the ground and liberating a small amount of indeterminate stuffing from you. It is quite exquisitely painful.

After donning one of the sacks to preserve his modesty, Benny helps the woman stack bricks to escape.

You take the upturned, ripped sack full of coin and take a few moments to scoop out its contents, not being a fan of getting gold on your giblets. This is too slow for your liking. You would like them to flow more like WATER, and so you must increase the flow. With your teeth and fingernails you tear the hole bigger and bigger until it goes from end to end, and you remove fully half the bag, letting the coinage spill on the ground, the rattle and clink of gold against gold making a very joyful noise.

That done, you survey the two halves of the bag, noting that one appears to have only one hole while the other one has two, but one seems to be both tied into a nasty-looking knot as well as probably a bit too small for your generous hips. Dejected, you examine the 17463 gp you so carelessly spilled on the ground, and contemplate if rolling in it would help make the situation better.

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Dermonster

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #31 on: November 20, 2015, 04:45:06 pm »

Empty one sack, tear holes in sack, wear sack. Only grab one sack, but empty it enough that I can climb out. climb out?

I don't know what's happening.
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

AkumaKasai

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #32 on: November 20, 2015, 04:54:18 pm »

Attempt to find a stick that isn't charred.
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #33 on: November 20, 2015, 06:05:42 pm »

Are those coins really gold? Once the chain is lowered, climb up and wonder if this new guy's clothes would fit me better. Maybe lift him against a wall?
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I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
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NAV

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #34 on: November 20, 2015, 06:09:19 pm »

"What a mess"

Benny sits in a corner and attempt to avoid the incompetence bug by not doing anything that requires any skill. Except breathing.
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

penguinofhonor

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #35 on: November 21, 2015, 07:37:52 am »

I grab a black stick and open the grate to climb out.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #36 on: November 21, 2015, 11:06:32 am »

Empty one sack, tear holes in sack, wear sack. Only grab one sack, but empty it enough that I can climb out. climb out?

I don't know what's happening.

You harness the spirit of the rat and begin to tunnel into one of the sacks currently resting atop you heavily - the burlap is tough indeed, but no match for persistent application of teeth and determined clawing. Displacing coin as you move in, you clamber into the sack of coin, letting the gold inside envelop you comfortably. The tactile sensation of riches feels priceless.

But you do not tarry one moment longer than needed. Continuing your semi-escape, you create three more holes, and through the resulting four you pop your limbs out of the sack, then undo the top of it with your fingers, letting your head emerge as well.

Having made this sack your own, you get up with a lovely jangle, standing atop a pile of coin you had to scoop out in order to fit yourself inside. A man in the shape of a limbed loot bag - a mimic of a mimic, in a sense.

Attempt to find a stick that isn't charred.

You search through the sticks in the pots, testing their structural integrity, but find that they all appear to be made of the same crumbly, medicinal-smelling stuff, and each time you break one for testing purposes you accidentally manage to get some on your fingers and, what's worse, even inhale a bit of the dust by the end. It feels much stronger on your mucous membranes, you have to admit. You would describe the odor and texture of it as "unpleasantly choking".

Are those coins really gold? Once the chain is lowered, climb up and wonder if this new guy's clothes would fit me better. Maybe lift him against a wall?

You go and grab a coin from the ground and bite down on it. This leaves an imprint of your teeth on the thing, so you'd say it's probably gold. Has the right look to it as well. Doesn't look particularly used, though. Pondering this, you stick the coin down your skirt and go back to the grate, waiting for the chain to come down.

And it does! It comes down slightly short of the ceiling grate, presumably anchored to some structure up top that you cannot see. And the grate itself appears like it would be a tight fit for a house cat to simply squeeze through - you will presumably need another method.

"What a mess"

Benny sits in a corner and attempt to avoid the incompetence bug by not doing anything that requires any skill. Except breathing.

The sight of Mr. Codeburn effectively commandeering a sack of coins for use as a combined clothing and loot storage solution fills you with a creeping sense of inadequacy.

However, you do not fail at breathing yet. So perhaps there is hope.

I grab a black stick and open the grate to climb out.

You grab yet another of the black sticks and poke at the ceiling grate. A single poke does not do the trick, nor does another. You poke more decisively and the stick breaks in half, being about as brittle as a sugar cube and just about as thick. The grate appears to not be the sort that is easily lifted either, being three times the diameter of your average manhole cover.

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LordPorkins

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #37 on: November 21, 2015, 11:09:57 am »

I promptly Chug another Bottle while in the great Waiting line of the Forums 8)
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #38 on: November 21, 2015, 12:20:24 pm »

Open the grate then. Other people here may prove essential for the task, so using them as a tool may not be too conservative.
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I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
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Dermonster

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #39 on: November 21, 2015, 12:56:11 pm »

Stick weird water brick in sack. Leave, damnit.
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

AkumaKasai

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #40 on: November 21, 2015, 01:00:20 pm »

Find an empty sack, put a few handfuls of gold in it, then tie off the end. It should look like a crude flail now, with the gold retained in the end of it.
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NAV

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #41 on: November 21, 2015, 02:54:32 pm »

Get up and try again to fasion some sort of garment out of a sack. Stay as far away from the big violent shouty guy as possible.
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

penguinofhonor

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #42 on: November 21, 2015, 08:08:10 pm »

Hmm... it's like sugar? I take a bite of the broken stick.

((Also are our rolls hidden or are we just taking actions that don't warrant a roll?))
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Toaster

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #43 on: November 22, 2015, 12:37:41 pm »

((I believe Mr. Baldman likes hidden rolls.))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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crazyabe

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Re: Our Salvation: You All Meet Naked In A Basement
« Reply #44 on: November 22, 2015, 12:54:40 pm »

PTW
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