A crapped out internet, my drunk ass falling asleep waiting for it to come back, and having to work in the morning all conspired to change "in a couple hours" to like 14 hours. Here it is.
15th Slate Its only after completing my well that I realized that i was a complete idiot
Three empty spaces in the hospital storeroom just perfect for wells.
Now we have 4 inside the fort. Well, actually 5 since theres one above the hospital in the meeting hall. Maybe if I have time i'll purify the stagnant water we're using to clean wounds with a screw pump, if that still works.
16th Felsite Mosus Dastotning, Marksdwarf got #rekt by a giant jaguar when I wasn't looking
Military dispatched it easy enough, and since we lost Mosus I drafted the most promising dwarf from the migration wave earlier this month, Stukos Kogankulal. For some reason he's gone around telling everybody to call him a macedwarf, even though he uses a crossbow.
Oh yeah; prison's done.
2nd Hematite Goblins! Not many it looks like.
Well we have steel armor and weapons, we might just be able to take them!
I close gate 2, station the marksdwarves on the wall and the melee dwarves by gate 1
On second thought, why risk it? I mean we have walls for a reason. Everyone get inside!
Just as the gates closed, a kobold was spotted.
He certainly has seen better days.
I added a burrow for the farms so we can make food while under siege, not that we need it.
Goblins are running around getting turned into pincushions and caught in cage traps
One squad just noped off the south edge of the map.
Another is playing slap 'n' tickle off the NW side
And one is dicking about by gate one, presumably braving the hail of bolts to free their caged friends
Found the other squad; they're polishing their palms up in the NW corner
It seems the Slap 'n' Ticklers have decided to go for a swim because, y'know, its not like their compatriots are bleeding out literally 20 urists away
Nor is one of their dead friend's hands lodged in one of our arrowslits, or anything macabre like that
What the actual fuck is even happening.
I got sick of hearing the failed jobs, so I took off the burrow alert. Its not like the Shaft Catchers, Palm Polishers, and Slap 'n' Ticklers are an actual threat, even if I lowered the drawbridges.
The mayor has mandated a totem
A singular one. I dunno what it is but when its done im sticking it
up his overly charismatic arse in his office. Maybe he can lean his surfboard against it or some shit.
Never mind; I can't build one and I wont be assed to do the tremendous amount of fuckery required to stockpile his glorified doorstop in his office.
My FPS has taken a nosedive since the siege started. I really wish the gobbos would stop seasoning each others' dishes and leave the damn map; i'm not confident enough to take on 2 full squads and another half of one.
The dwarves are getting attached to iron shields and bismuth crossbows left and center, but not right. Also The mayor mandated two more totems.
Why?
contained in this spoiler are the events leading up to my game crashing, consider it painfully non-canon, luckily its only about a week or so lost.4th Malachite Either the palm polishers or slap 'n' ticklers just charged headlong into a cloud of devilish dust and now they're the husky guzzlers
Fuck.
Oh wait nevermind, they fucked right off the east of the map. cool. Oh, so did the other squads, now theres only like 5 goblins left
Time to lower the gates
somebody's gon' get squished
Well the lucky picks have made short work of that.
what a bloodbath
We now have six new prisoners.
We're still technically in a siege because one Snang Atudesmo wants to be an elf, and has been chilling in a tree in the NW corner the whole time.
Also there's a devilishly
handsome husky boar and sow to the north. Maybe they'll make little husky babies that definitely aren't fat and i can make food out of them.
On second thought, it'd probably taste like ash and your momma's meatloaf. I'll have to keep an eye and make sure they dont get too near.
Snang has come down from the trees since the dwarves decided to harvest the copious amounts of goblin fluids or whatever in that region of the map
And to think right as I realized this i was trying to find the fucker to send the military after it.
Now Snang is dead, and the husk'd boar conveniently decided to leave the map just a few tiles away from an engraver running straight into it.
Dwarffortress.exe has stopped workingFuck.
6th Malachite Onget Sokanoddom, Trader has been taken by a fey mood, hopefully its something useful; He's taken a mason's workshop, and it looks like he has everything he needs.
A construction death today; I've been building an arena for Toby the Troll and his goblin friends. The pit is 2 levels deep, and in my infinite wisdom i forgot to smooth the first layer before diggin out the second. I put some wooden scaffolding around the walls, and while deconstructing a corner, this dumbass decided to stand on another part slated for removal, that was only attached to the part he was removing. Somehow his neck took the full force of the impact and split into gore. He bled out almost instantly.
At least he's near the graveyard.
I need a break.
15th Malachite And we're back
what's his face finished making an artifact bed, huzzah
The goblins are chasing dingos around. The mayor has mandated ANOTHER totem. I get it if your fetish is bones but this seems entirely unnecessary.
Haha, more goblins have either fucked off or stepped in one of the cage traps strewn about outside, there's about six left now. Its time to strike
Well that went well. Nobody died that wasn't supposed to at least. The siege is broken and the FPS is back.
Now the mayor has mandated three more totems, what is this I dont even- you know what, nevermind. At least it's easy.
10th Galena Haha oh wow. The mayor's now banned totem exports. What is up with this guy
Hang on, next to his love of totems, do I see he likes ELVES? For their grace? Whats graceful about eating sapient creatures then raising Cain over fucking trees?! Not only is he a skull fetishist, but he's a dirty elf fondler too. Aww hell.
Work on the arena is going well, though I'm still unsure of my exact plan on pitting Toby the Troll and Co. down there. I'll figure something out.
I stockpiled Toby down in the arena, only to notice the mechanic who's doing it is missing a foot, hobbling along on a crutch. I ordered some extra crutches in case someone else is missing a foot or three.
15th Limestone The liaison is here, and the world is the same as ever apparently. Didnt really need anything from the merchants specifically, but they needed:
Luckily for them we have a surplus of crundle bone scepters.
Uh, one of the merchants just got sick or something, puked (i think) then dropped all his product, and let the horse wander about outside. Now my dwarves are taking whatever was all in the horse's packs and none of the merchants give a damn. I dunno.
I could have gotten a better screenshot. You should have seen it; motherfucking bucket brigade, except with random shit not buckets of water.
Maybe he saw the skeletal remains of that severed hand still lodged in the arrowslit above the gate. Whatever the case, our damn broker was on break for a while and now he's decided to take a nap. Get off your ass, Dodok.
Now he's on another break. Goddammit, it's literally one of the easiest jobs in the frigging fort.
Oh yeah and some migrants arrived. A fairly skilled blacksmith/miller and a skilled farmer were the most interesting.
The broker is finally at the depot and now we can trade. I don't know what electrum is but it sounds cool and I'm buying some. Bought some steel product and a silver sword (because why not), booze, and some buckets, since my feed has been blowing up about the lack of buckets to make lye.
14th Sandstone So this farmer Erish Lorbamdalzat is the unhappiest/most stressed dwarf in the fort. He's been that way for months.
I was hoping he'd attend the most recent party and improve his mood a little but instead he talked to the mayor for a bit, then went to plant some seeds, then to his room, then to the meeting hall, did a 180, went back to his bedroom, and then off to one of the jail cells. I hope he's alright; he's just sitting in the prison by himself.
Hopefully he's just into autoerotic bondage, and is taking some much needed alone time to relieve his stress.
Oh, now he's off to get drunk. Good on him.
Some asshat decided to leave some uneaten food on the floor, and now the meeting hall is filled with miasma. Nobody had the balls to touch the fuzzy lung so instead they all basked in the purpley stench. The captain of the guard had a similar issue in his office. Zuntir Itdunudil, planter was taken by a fey mood shortly after.
My FPS sucks again. I don't know why. Maybe the 115 dwarves in my fort have something to do with it.
Zuntir made this
10th Timber The arena is almost finished, the scaffolding and access ramp needs to be removed. Toby and a couple Cave crocs are stockpiled and ready to be pitted into the hatches directly adjacent. It wouldn't tell me which of the two cave crocs was which in the pitting menu, so I just made a second stockpile and pitted both. When you add new fighters, just search who you're putting in the arena in the stockpile settings, enable it in the arena, and disable it in the animal stockpile near the surface. make sure you keep empty cages disabled in the arena so someone will come haul them away.
Underneath are the holding cells with bridge gates. The plan is the two fighters will find their way back up to the same level as the hatches and duke it out there. I didn't think it through all the way, since I have no idea how to get the winner back downstairs. I'd rather not use the marksdwarves, since Toby is hopefully going to win, and I'd rather not kill him.
The north levers control the stair gates; these are only 1x1 square, so if the levers are to the right, the bridges are closed. The southern levers are connected to the east/west cells, and both control two drawbridges, which are 1x2 but when raised look the same as the stairway bridges regardless of whether the latter is opened or closed. Levers are noted in-game.
If someone wants to make some kind of bait to get the fighters (specifically Toby) back into the holding cells so a new enemy could be brought in safely that would be great. Just don't use the giant cave spiders because they're for the silk farm I never set up.
All in all I could have planned it better. Unfortunately as soon as I started my turn my life went full fuck-your-free-time for several weeks, so not only was I distracted, but I also just kind of eyeballed the whole project instead of making a blueprint.
1st Moonstone Winter's here, and with it an end to the ban on totem exports. Bet you the mayor commissions even more totems and tries to monopolize the decorated skull market.
Nah never mind, 10 days later he just banned exports again; must be trying to drive up prices.
It says its raining and snowing simultaneously, but I see neither rain nor snow.
I stuck a bunch of the dogs in a cage in the meeting hall to help with FPS (yeah, yeah; 15-19 fps could be worse but it still bugs me. I left like 10 war dogs running around. I think it might also have something to do with the THOUSAND upon THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of honey bees we have. I don't know shit about beekeeping though.
also
Good thing I sealed off the caverns
...And thats my turn, finally
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