Spring returns. Will this time of renewal save the kingdom, or will painfruit bring about the end?
Zech studies the magical properties of dwarven flora.
{1} - He manages to import some, without Darius' help, at a hefty price. They refuse to sell him plump helmets, but give him some sort of purple fern. He has serious trouble growing it, but manages to keep it alive with dedicated effort.
The fern secreets a magical acid by its roots, which seems to be capable of eating through nearly anything. Unfortunately, it loses its potency within seconds of leaving the plant, reverting to a truly horrendously-smelling clear fluid. The smell latches on to anything, and is very difficult to get rid of, even with magic.
The king doesn't really want to be near his mage anymore.
Sir Buscuits solves the alcohol problem by simply switching its name with water.
{1} - The messengers he informs of his new solution look at him as though he's gone completely daft, but spread the word throughout the kingdom that water and alcohol now have their names swapped. Nobody is happy with the confusion or implication that they're idiots.
Sage Holtze orders his magic corps around more.
{1}-1 - The pyromancers are once again sent off to burn fields. This time, they wander directly into an ambush by Swordsguard forces. Each one, roughly half of his mage corps, is either slain or captured & tortured. They reveal that they work directly for a man named Sage Holtze Pzchun, and mind mages successfully extract his identifying features. They are Quite Unhappy with this apparent act of war.
{4}-1 - The necromancers are told to make their rotting dead things more attractive to potential investors ..... One is purchased.
{2}-1 - The transmuters are told to turn water into painfruit wine. They succeed in forming a new substance, much like highly concentrated painfruit juice. It is extremely combustible. None of the transmuters survive.
{4}-1 - The agricultural mages organize themselves and get acquainted with what each can do.
John Locke offers to help the king write a book.
{5} - The king remains depressed, and is too upset with Locke to discuss a book. He writes a comedy, which cheers the king up a bit, and makes him more receptive to future .. Er, that is, less unwilling to be near his jester.
Priestess Asha meets with the king to inspire him with religion.
{3} - The king is slightly cheered.
Sir Mangrove cheers up the king by telling him stories about terrible things that happen to sad people.
{4} - The king is not very encouraged, but he enjoys the stories.
Darius saves the day by trading dorf booze for influence.
{4} - The king was feeling much better thanks to his other advisers, and, under the effects of the hilariously toxic dwarven ale, he's back to full happiness. He is extremely grateful to Darius.
<CLASSYFIED> hunts down the adventurers for assassination and taking the vial for himself. He orders a non-existant spy network to watch painfruit-man.
{2} - The assassin tells the maid to watch the '"age's" activities. He then follows the lead on the adventurers, they've have already left. He pursues them through three other sovereign states. He thinks he's gaining ground on them, but they're a slippery bunch.
King Roland is feeling much better, but hasn't been sober in months.
The treasury is barely adequate for feeding the troops.
Taxes remain moderate.
The bandits near the capital have named themselves The Dragon's Wrath. Their numbers are swelling.
There are small revolts popping up throughout the kingdom.
W̝̻h̵̬̩̭͓i̵̞̼͕̰̬̥s̶̱͍͍̱͉͓p̮̗̟̟ͅe̖̦͓̦̻ͅr͍̠̮̞̙s͡ ̘͎͘ơ̜f̻̠̲ ̠̘͎͈͎̮̳͠t̟̥̟̖̤͠ͅͅh̹̟̯e̷̝̲̦ ̵̯C̬͈u̖̗͚̺l͖̙̲͔t̕ ̳̼͟o̯͍̩̘̞f̡͙̜̦̘̳̥̮ ̜̤̠̞̀S̜̞̩h̼͇͍͢a̛̬͍̱͇̫̱̠d̯o̗͖w̥͞s͓̩͎͓͎͓͡ͅ ̸̗̦̱̬̠͉ͅc͈̦̣̩a̖̮n̲̦ ̢͚̫͇̣͇̙b̧͉̠̱̰͕e̟͎͇̙͚͡ ̗͓̟̯̹̀h̗e̢̹͍̻͎̩a̰r̟̼̥̮̤͙̯͟d͈̜̜͚̝ ̝̱̞̤͕̜i̼̼͝ͅn̝̜̱͠ ̧m͍̪͚̺̥͚̖̕ą̜̤̗͍͚j̗o̩̞̦̰̹̪r͇̪̥̟ ̖c̘̗̬͈̘̙͠ͅit̤i̵e͇̪s̢͍͇͖̯̠ ҉̘͇͉̻̳̣l̮̪͕̥͢a̱̝̥̮̮͟tẹ͇̗̝̭ ̘̙͇͕ͅá͖̭ͅt͖̰͍͇ ͏̠̩͇͔̠̣͍n̠į̠̠̗̥g̗͕͍͖̰̞h̵̹̭̰͙t.
Ṫ̵͚̦̲̬̎ͥ͂͊ͫh̛̪̭̱̤̾ͫ̊͌͠e̷̢͍̜͕͕̹̺͍̥͍ͧͤͪ̏́͢ ̷̒̓͋̄͋̇̌͞͏̻͙l͚̩͍̗̺̞̹̿̅̈̀ǫ̺͖͈̮̲̌͆͂̏͜ͅç͔͎̩͉̘͖͈̱ͮͪ̑ͥͪͅả̻͇̯̮̫̲̯̘̤̉̓̄̀͠ļ͙ͧͣ̊ ͔̩̟ͮ̆̊ͤ͒̉̚e̳͕̦͚̮̙͍̰͖̊͗͑̊̔͗ͦ̋c̬̩̓͋̐̚͞ō̼̞̬̱̦ͬͫ̍ͨ͆n̸̰͓̜̈̀͛́͜ỏ̝̭͐͗ͨmͬͣ̋̓͋ͧ͠͏͖̬̟̭͙̟͖͙̣ẏ̶̮ͭ͋̄͊̋̑ͫ ̡̩̜̟͔̦̩̐͗́̓̔͑̋́́͞i̵͖͇̠̱̒̊͂̈ͣ̎ͬͯ͝ͅs̈̋͏̞͈̜̼̦̦̯͖̀͞ͅn̲̻̹̬͇̹̦̈́ͮͫ͆'̺̰̩͈͇̘̊͑̈ͤt̢̲̤̼͚̊̐̇̇̑̚ ̗͉̣̩̄͛ͦͨ͆ͭ̽̈́͞͠d̺̳̰̣̩̪̯̰̪̄ͣ̒̈́͋̒͒́̚͘͡oͨ̅̉͋̚͜͠͏͎̼̼̲̩̬ͅȋ̝͚̰͜ṅ͔̳͓͊ͪ̒͒̓g̦̩̟̮͖͈̳̎̈́͋̃͆́́͘͡ ̹̤̯̙̼̩̊̈́s̶̷͉͍̞̤͖ͭ̈́͑͌ͯ͟o̴͔͔͉̳̠͍̣̲ͪ͛̋ͯͪ ̺̮̮͎͎̦ͭͤ̽̂̿w͈̰͎̜͉̰͙̙͑̋ͦ͑͂͐ͫ̚e̞ͫ̈́̎ͩ̀͛̒̑ͤ̕l̗͈̻̯̳ͪͩ̇ͮl̲̙͙ͤ͒̌͑̌̊ͤ͠.̺̯͇̥̱̻̋͋̕̕͘
̸̥̠͎͕̦̲̬̻̂̍ͥ̊́ͪ̆T̶͚͔̪̓͒͑̓ͥ̚͜ḩ̈́͜҉̰͎̹e̛̘̫̥͚̩ͤ̊ͦ͞ ̝̗̹̱ͨ̒͊̃̀͝k͖̦̭̬̘̇ͨ̕͜i̩͍̣̩ͫ̾ͥ̐͆͠n̙̬͎̓̽̉̈́̍͗͗ģ̟̥̝̪̝̆̆ͯ̐̇̄ͩd̸̥͉̲̯̘̓̑̕͝o̤̥̥̗̭̐ͯ͊ͦ͋͆̉͗͟ṁ̱̗̙͔̻̤̖͊ͫͫͧ̉̈́ ̑̾̃͛ͤ͗̇̄͏̴̗̜̼͉e̢̡̝̊ͧ̓̌͒̌c̻̬̫ͭ̇ͩ̀o̤̤͖͖̓́ͥ̓ͦͩ̇n̶̪̺͓͎̘͋̄̓̌͊̃ͧͬ̾̀ͅo̷͕͍͕̱̺͖ͫ̈́̔̏̏̊ͭ̽͟mͫ̓̅҉̧̲͎̘̗̗̬͞y̵̡͕͉ͮ̊̀̇̿ͮ̉͒ ̳̳̰͍̙̠̰͑͑ͦ̋̎̔̕͢i̗̘̜̭̖͇͂̃̅̌͛ͭͮ̽s̞̠̟̣͖͕̫̱̼̽ͧͥͪ̅̽͜ņ̝̜̝̜͓̪̭̗̖̆͒̅̑̓͐'̶̛̦͙̪̗͔̰̹̏͛̈́t̵͖̠͇̫̤̘͙͊̒ͨ̓͢ ̨ͮ̂͜͏̳̻̼͍͚͓d̰̦ͣ͌͆̍ͦ̒́ȍ̢̭̱̳̫̤͓ͯi̢͔̠͇̥͚̹̍ͣ̾͘͝n̼̹̠̱̣͓͍̣̽̓̽ͩ́̕g̩̠̣̍̌͡ ̛̦͕ͪ̉̔͒̆̀̑s̨͖̳̟̺̣̅͆̇́o̢̢͈̯̝̭͊ͩ̎̄̑ͩ ̡͚͖̖̲̘ͣ̐ͅw̧̞͉̄͗̎͌͋̋͑ȅ̸̮͎̐̿ͭ̅̑͟lͧ͒̊̀͏̴̢̰̠͚l̵̡̜̯ͤ͋̍̀̔ͅ.̴̭̣̭̻͋̌
T̐hͦ̓̌͆͆e̅͂̚͡ ̌̈̔lͩͥ̋o͊̋͂̋cͭͭͨä̃͊̈̄̊ͯ͘ļ ̂ͣ͢l͊ͣ̔e̋̕vͦ̄̋̾ͬi̵̎eͦ̀̔ͥ̓̒s̴ ͧ̈ͪ̄̀a̴r̄ͨ̀̂̾̂͗͝e̸̎̃ͪͪͪͮ ͒͗͛ͤ̈̅m̎ͨͫ̎͠oͤ̿͘d̊ͯ̏͢e̓̐̍r͊̃͌͑atͧ̎̏eͪͥ͠ ̷ͬ̇ͮ̈͂́a̶͛̓ͯ̎̾͑ͦnͯͩͬ͒ͦ̇d͒̚͟ ̷o̒̿ͣ̑̃ͫ̓͡f͡ ̵̉p̵̓ō͞oͨ͑̎̃r ͦq̽̇̋̑uͧ̽͆͑á̍ͤl̆̌̓ͯͬiͨ̓͑̽̉̚̕tͧ͘y̷ͩ̋.̒ͤ͌
The kingdom levies are moderate and of poor quality.
The rather drunk king mandates something. Nobody can make out what.
John Locke (nosaneinme), the palace fool.
Sir "Biscuits" McGee (NJW2000), knight of the crown and head of military finance.
Sir Mangrove (Harry Baldman), the Secretary of Love, Worldliness and Quests.
Sage Holtze Pzchun (Nunzillor), Import/Export Economic Adviser.
Asha Imeremifava (penguinofhonor), Priestess and Religious Adviser, feels like something bad will happen soon.
Darius Welthon (Coolrune206), Economic Adviser.
Classified (ATHATH), assassin.
Zechtenmarkus (crazyabe), Royal Mage and Adviser of magical Affairs.
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Author
Topic: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD (Read 30605 times)