Chapter title: Killing fun with fire.
It is now winter.
Darius recruits more peasants, armed with equipment 'taxed' from local merchants.
{2} - Darius recruits a few men, and tries to strong-arm a blacksmith into giving swords to the crown. Said blacksmith breaks out a sob story about barely being able to feed his children as-is. Darius orders his men to force the issue, but they refuse and chase him out of town.
<Classified> gets an assortment of things and asks the necromancer about magic.
{1} - The necromancer doesn't know how to cast a True Revive, and refuses to teach him magic while on the king poisoner's payroll.
The 'cool things' he brought back are useless novelty knick-knacks (mostly broken during his travels), and a few exotic weapons nobody knows how to use. He can't find his stock of poisons anywhere.
Zechtenmarkus casts spells of incendiary emasculation at bandits.
{5} - Although the mages are working under the orders of their employer and refuse to help, some local forces are free to protect him. The harassment of the bandits goes well. Most of them either die by fire castration spells or surrender outright. The remaining 20% have sworn a blood oath of revenge.
Word of your methods of bandit disposal have spread amongst the troops.
Sage Holtze gives orders to his mages.
{2}-1 - A rabble of untrained and incompetent magic users interested in agricultural magic are given temporary control of every winery and brewery in the kingdom and told to create wine from painfruit. The surprisingly combustive juice ends up burning down every alcoholery in the kingdom.
{4}-1 - The necromancer leads a small group interested in learning death magic. They prove to be as-yet incapable with the basics, but she animates a few dozen human skeletons. Holtze tries (and fails) to contract them around the kingdom, much to the disgust of the landed nobility.
{6}-1 - The pyromancer leads some highly illegal raids against neighboring lands and succeeds in destroying every field near and outside of Justdale's border, somehow not drawing the ire of ruling rival nobles.
...In winter, when nothing is growing. Yay you.
{6}-1 - The magic users interested in transmuting manage to organize themselves admirably, and even begin pooling their knowledge of the subject. It's not much, and they have nothing to show regarding dirt-to-steel-weapons magic.
Locke writes a friendship shipfic between himself and the king.
{1} - The story has very unfortunate phrases throughout which could easily be taken as perverse euphemisms. The king is not at all amused, and makes it strongly known that he does not feel for his jester in that way.
Sir Biscuits takes some palace guards and recruits bandits from the kingdom outskirts.
{4} - There aren't any decent horses at the palace, but there are plenty of would-be infantry. Bandit recruitment is quite successful. The kingdom outskirts are now a bit safer, and overall discipline in the ranks actually increases.
Sir Mangrove tries to contact the druid.
{5} - After several unsuccessful contact attempts, he finds someone that witnessed the battle. As it turns out, the adventurers managed to slay the druid and find the vial. According to pub-based sources, the scoundrels had plans to retire in Scavenger's Den, a coastal city in the small republic of Jackal's Reach.
Priestess Imeremifava calls for action to reclaim the 'holy' vial of wealth creation, and orders local forces to guard the necromancer.
{2} - People begin to pay lip service to the idea of recovering the vial. The necromancer is guarded.
King Roland is deeply upset by the loss of the alcohol.
Tax season! The treasury is decently stocked.
Taxes remain moderate.
The kingdom economy is greatly weakened by the loss of domestic alcohol production.
The military grows.
A small group of girly bandits is operating near the capital.
The local economy is abysmal.
The kingdom economy is abysmal.
The local levies are moderate and of poor quality.
The kingdom levies are moderate and of poor quality.
The king is falling into depression. He just wants to be alone right now.
John Locke (nosaneinme), the palace fool, is shamed.
Sir "Biscuits" McGee (NJW2000), knight of the crown and head of military finance, is watching the new troops spar.
Sir Mangrove (Harry Baldman), the Secretary of Love, Worldliness and Quests, has no booze.
Sage Holtze Pzchun (Nunzillor), Import/Export Economic Adviser, is the hero of prohibitionists.
Asha Imeremifava (penguinofhonor), Priestess and Religious Adviser, is frustrated by apathy.
Darius Welthon (Coolrune206), Economic Adviser, has an acceptably-sized stock of booze.
Classified (ATHATH), assassin, has no booze
Zechtenmarkus (crazyabe), Royal Mage and Adviser of magical Affairs, is quite feared.
Author
Topic: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD (Read 30811 times)