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Author Topic: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD  (Read 30733 times)

Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #30 on: October 19, 2015, 08:28:42 pm »

"Ohhhh, ye want to plant an orchard do ye? Oh, that's lovely. I know what we should plant! Money trees! Because maybe then we'll be able to afford planting a goddamn orchard! Honestly King, we can't have you making the palace pretty til we're all taking baths in molten gold and showering in elf blood. What we ought to do is raise taxes. Taxes are always good. The higher they are, the happier the important people are; that's us, by the way. Now raise some damn taxes!"

Convince the King that planting the orchard is a bad idea, and instead that he should raise taxes 'For the good of the Kingdom'.
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Nosaneinme

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #31 on: October 19, 2015, 08:41:59 pm »

"Ohhhh, ye want to plant an orchard do ye? Oh, that's lovely. I know what we should plant! Money trees! Because maybe then we'll be able to afford planting a goddamn orchard! Honestly King, we can't have you making the palace pretty til we're all taking baths in molten gold and showering in elf blood. What we ought to do is raise taxes. Taxes are always good. The higher they are, the happier the important people are; that's us, by the way. Now raise some damn taxes!"

Convince the King that planting the orchard is a bad idea, and instead that he should raise taxes 'For the good of the Kingdom'.


"No, Good encomeny come from Strong Middle Class which why Capitalism is best system and mercantilism sucks.

Those Mechant better than the Nobles and Plutocratic government is more careing
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #32 on: October 19, 2015, 08:44:04 pm »

"You have got to be kidding me... a strong middle class? That's their problem, if they can't afford to live. What's important is that the money ends up in the right hands, our hands, so we may delegate to do with it as we may. A raise for advisers would be a good investment, might I add..."
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Nunzillor

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #33 on: October 19, 2015, 08:49:28 pm »

"You have got to be kidding me... a strong middle class? That's their problem, if they can't afford to live. What's important is that the money ends up in the right hands, our hands, so we may delegate to do with it as we may. A raise for advisers would be a good investment, might I add..."
"I couldn't agree more.  Increasing wages for advisors would strengthen the state by strengthening its most important members.  Higher advisor wages and higher imports of mannafruit are clearly the keys to Justdale's economic success.  Here, enjoy," Holtze said, offering another painfruit.
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #34 on: October 19, 2015, 08:51:43 pm »

"Do my old ears detect a huge increase in the wisdom of the words being uttered in this room? Well said, whoever you are. I have not been formally introduced to you all, so I shall just call you "Logical", and the other middle-class loving man "Crazy"."
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Nosaneinme

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #35 on: October 19, 2015, 08:53:45 pm »

"You have got to be kidding me... a strong middle class? That's their problem, if they can't afford to live. What's important is that the money ends up in the right hands, our hands, so we may delegate to do with it as we may. A raise for advisers would be a good investment, might I add..."

"Why should the  Government intervention, It up the to the Free Market to fix those problem. the Market is liveing orignism that need only itself to be remain 


(OCC: Your character is talking to a classical liberal about these, Do you what they think right Look at john locke the real one, thomas jefferson, adam smith and such the like)
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #36 on: October 19, 2015, 09:00:12 pm »

((I'm completely aware of the background of your character, and I'm disappointed that you used a Renaissance character in a Medieval game, but meh.))
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Nunzillor

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #37 on: October 19, 2015, 09:03:32 pm »

"Don't mind him, that's Jester John.  Doesn't he just say the darnedest things?  We don't pay him enough, really.  And I'm Sage Pzchun, Import/Export advisor for our wise and worldly king," Holtze said, pointing at the moron with the crown.  "I'm glad to hear that you have the right attitude, sir dwarf.  The nation needs us advisors more than ever."
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #38 on: October 19, 2015, 09:06:42 pm »

"Oh, the Jester! Yes, he is rather humorous! But we're not paying him any more. I could point at a donkey and tell you it's a horse just as much as he can."
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Nunzillor

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #39 on: October 19, 2015, 09:16:42 pm »

"Yes, but can you spout ridiculous nonsense about 'tabula rasa' and 'natural rights' like it actually means something?  The man is not only gifted in spouting convoluted nonsensical concepts, he seems to actually believe them!  And that makes it all the more amusing, I must say."
« Last Edit: October 19, 2015, 09:18:13 pm by Nunzillor »
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Nosaneinme

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #40 on: October 19, 2015, 09:24:53 pm »

"Yes, but can you spout ridiculous nonsense about 'tabula rasa' and 'natural rights' like it actually means something?  The man is not only gifted in spouting convoluted nonsensical concepts, he seems to actually believe them!  And that makes it all the more amusing, I must say."

The King will have a word soon with all us, The king allow me to grace his court and so it would be that king decide 
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Nirur Torir

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #41 on: October 20, 2015, 04:01:19 pm »

It is now summer. Peasants everywhere are thrilled to work in fields with growing crops.

John Locke talks about people's liberties and parliamentary MPs.
{2} - John gives a series of very dry lectures about how important it is that rulers recognize the innate rights of their subjects, and how they deserve self-governance.
The king grows worried at the thought of peasants trying to usurp his kingdom. He declares that he needs a loyal branch of the military to police against such nonsense.

Sage Holtze increases painfruit imports and provides support for farmers.
{3} - The good Szechenian sage spends a good deal of time trying to find the treasury. The only maid eventually points out that it's currently being used to store empty barrels. Further conversations reveal that a team of wizards, which the kingdom lacks access to, could probably improve crop yields.

Asha Imeremifava makes a religious report.
{5} - The vast majority of the kingdom's populace worship gods in the Pantheon of Good. Conveniently, the religion is very supportive of monarchies. There is a good chance that these gods exist, but they usually take a very subtle approach, to avoid an all-out war with other gods.
The Cult of Shadows is practically unheard of in these lands.

Sir Biscuits 'motivates' peasantry and makes a report on military threats.
{2} - The ambitious knight is quite caught up in traveling around and motivating peasants. He makes little progress on analyzing military threats. He does get in some sword practice, against the odd group of rebellious serfs that dislike investments into their futures.

Sir Mangrove makes a report on local artifacts.
{5} - While helping the maid move some heavy furniture around, Sir Mangrove makes a lucky find: A tome detailing powerful enchanted items throughout the kingdom. He notes the easiest and most likely three:
A never-rusting sword, said to grant untold skill with the blade. It was buried alongside its former master.
A chalice of eternal youth, said to be cursed. It was last seen in a town in the south, now reduced to ruins after failing to repel a dragontaur 'raid.'
A crystal vial. It somehow creates wealth. It was last in the possession of a mad druid hermit in The Fearless Forest.

Zech makes a report on local magical problems.
{4} - Zech uses a few divination spells, and travels around. He finds no immediate magical problems. He also finds no organized wizards. There are a few scattered hedge wizards, and the cities likely have a small-time alchemist or two, but nothing beyond that.

Darius Welthon talks to the king about raising taxes instead of planting an orchard.
{3} - The king really wants his orchard, but agrees to delay building one. He does agree to increase the taxes slightly.

Taxes increased.
The kingdom economy improves.
The military is stable.
{?} Nobody hears anything about threats to the king.

The local economy is struggling.
The kingdom economy is struggling.

The local levies are few and have much to fear from a stray dog.
The kingdom levies are limited and of poor quality.

The king wants the army to be strong enough to subdue a dragon.


John Locke (nosaneinme), the palace fool, is currently demoralized.

Sir "Biscuits" McGee (NJW2000), knight of the crown and head of military finance, is currently accosting peasants.

Sir Mangrove (Harry Baldman), the Secretary of Love, Worldliness and Quests, is currently reading a book.

Sage Holtze Pzchun (Nunzillor), Import/Export Economic Adviser, is currently trying to sell a moldy painfruit.

Asha Imeremifava (penguinofhonor), Priestess and Religious Adviser, is currently reading up on the gods of light.

Darius Welthon (Coolrune206), Economic Adviser, is solidifying his stance on basic economic theory.

Classified (ATHATH), assassin, is currently <redacted>

Zechtenmarkus (crazyabe), Royal Mage and Adviser of magical Affairs, is saving people from a charlatan 'alchemist.'
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #42 on: October 20, 2015, 04:04:59 pm »

"A military? Hmm. Not sure whether to complain about how expensive they are, or be gleeful about how much gold we will bring in from pillaging. Either way, I will get to recruiting little peasants to a militia."

Con nearby Peasants into joining the militia for a ridiculously low amount of money.

((Since the army's quality is low, I'll probably never have to pay half. They'll be dead! ^.^))
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NJW2000

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #43 on: October 20, 2015, 04:07:07 pm »

"There we go! About time that lot toughened up, anyhow! Their swordplay was terrible, and they couldn't even seem to remeber which pocket they'd put their battle armour in, no wonder I dismembered them so easily! Now to deal with this damn dog everyone's getting so worried about!"

Go find the and kill the stupid stray dog, and give the levy-takers some arms from the castle. Then go back, and ask the King what needs doing.
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Nosaneinme

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #44 on: October 20, 2015, 04:30:29 pm »

Keep Trying to reason with the king, Maybe(Good dice roll) He could see my worldview
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