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[Nyxalinth]

His entire group drowned when he tried to have the dorfs dig in an area across the river.  Long story short, he quickly abandoned.

Bae: Maybe I should have built a bridge first.

Me: That might have gone better.  Welcome to Dwarf Fortress, my love.

Bae: Well, seems I lost my cherry in a spectacular manner

He's a good sport about it, though, and is going to try again.   Hooray! *throws confetti*

[PatrikLundell]

Congratulations!
Conquest by converting one victim at a time
I assume you've considered the possible side effects: "Not now! I'm trying to see what happens if..."

[Kreydurst]

Give him a volcano wedding ring to play with.

[TheBrisbyMouse]

Take him to the circus.

[Skullsploder]

Take him to the circus.

[omega_dwarf]

When I introduced me gf to df (or tried to):

"That looks terrible."

*never speaks of it again*

[Bumber]

Take him to the circus.

I love how innocuous this phrase sounds to the uninitiated. Guaranteed Fun for ladies, gentlemen, and children of all ages.

[Max™]

Girlfriend likes to hear about the awfulness going on in game, the vomit all over Treatylong amused her, the Face of Armok got an "awesome" as well.

She likes to weave and was very amused when I saw her looking at one of her wall-hangings and narrated "she was pleased near her own fine wall-hanging" and we've started referring to them as "happy-thoughts", especially when the cat looks at them.

[Nyxalinth]

Girlfriend likes to hear about the awfulness going on in game, the vomit all over Treatylong amused her, the Face of Armok got an "awesome" as well.

She likes to weave and was very amused when I saw her looking at one of her wall-hangings and narrated "she was pleased near her own fine wall-hanging" and we've started referring to them as "happy-thoughts", especially when the cat looks at them.

We like doing that too.

"Urist McJerry cancels X: Interrupted by Y." or "Urist McNyx is feeling happy today.  She listened to Devo recently.  She admired some fine old photos of the band recently.  She talked with the boyfriend recently."

[Max™]

I call her Bunny (god we sound like an old country club couple, "Oh look Biff, here comes Max and Bunny." *hoity toity laughter*) so it would be "Urist McBunny cancels wash hair: interrupted by palmetto bug."

[Dunamisdeos]

I introduced my now-wife to the game while we were still dating, and her response to the game was to start naming dwarves. She treated the entire fort like a grand soap opera. She became emotionally invested in the lives of each and every one of her favorite dwarves.

On date nights, the first question was "How are the dwarves doing". Her favorite dwarf was Mr. Beard, the captain of the guard.

[callisto8413]

I introduced my now-wife to the game while we were still dating, and her response to the game was to start naming dwarves. She treated the entire fort like a grand soap opera. She became emotionally invested in the lives of each and every one of her favorite dwarves.

On date nights, the first question was "How are the dwarves doing". Her favorite dwarf was Mr. Beard, the captain of the guard.

I assume Mr. Beard meant with an accident.  Buwahahahaha!

[Dunamisdeos]

I introduced my now-wife to the game while we were still dating, and her response to the game was to start naming dwarves. She treated the entire fort like a grand soap opera. She became emotionally invested in the lives of each and every one of her favorite dwarves.

On date nights, the first question was "How are the dwarves doing". Her favorite dwarf was Mr. Beard, the captain of the guard.

I assume Mr. Beard met with an accident.  Buwahahahaha!

Mr. Beard actually turned into a supreme un-killable badass with hundreds of kills under his belt. Now every Captain of the Guard must be named Mr. Beard. Much like the captain of the flying dutchman, there must always be a Mr. Beard.

Also, she would have cut off my dick if I let something happen to that first Mr. Beard. Or William, his First Lieutenant. He was a family dwarf, and also makes occasional reappearances. William always wields a spear, and usually can be found as a migrant trained by Mr. Beard. She's created an effective recurring dwarven mythology, told and retold throughout the ages.

[cochramd]

Mr. Beard actually turned into a supreme un-killable badass with hundreds of kills under his belt.

You mean as a result of several failed "unfortunate accidents" or-

Also, she would have cut off my dick if I let something happen to that first Mr. Beard.

Oh.

[Rüdiger]

Also, she would have cut off my dick if I let something happen to that first Mr. Beard.

Is that an euphemism for 'turning someone into an elf'?