Round 31: AscensionLocation: Denmark, WisconsinWeather Conditions: Snowing (12.5 inches)Time: Early Morning "Pain, pain, pain!" Hawk, bleeding out all over the place, makes a desperate attempt to grab up some precious vegetables before he is shot again. (4 vs.
He rolls over to lay on his stomach as he sprint-crawls towards a pile of beets, but the Assault Squad has continued to train their guns on him the whole time. (2 vs. 10) They shoot wildly into the dark area below the counter, and all Hawk has to do is stay prone to avoid the stream of bullets that land at least a foot away from him, mostly hitting the wall; one of the bullets ricochets off of the wall (7) and flies into the space between the militia, failing to hit either of them. (7) Hawk makes it to one of his precious bags of veggies and almost swallows about two-thirds of the entire bag, greatly reducing the damage done to him. [Extreme Bleeding -> Light Bleeding]
Elephant Parade searches for treatment as his horse is led away. After consulting with a volunteer medic, he is put in a queue behind people with more severe injuries such as organ failure and missing limbs. Elephant utilizes this time to continue working on his next hit single, (6+2) and adds some lyrics while removing some of the higher notes that he doesn't have to attempt something out of his normal range. He is still lacking in instrumentation.
Nunzillor places two hands on the counter and pushes her neck off of it, leaving a trail of blood and other miscellaneous liquids and semi-solids streaming down the side of it. Any attempt for her to cover and pressurize the wound risks her tearing the few fibers that are keeping her head attached as a result of the grievous damage, a quick turn of the head would mean instant death. Nunzillor, realizing her fate, raises her Katana up and charges Ukrainian Ranger with a mighty warrior's cry, no longer concerned for her own safety as long as she gets one final hit on the Kung-Fu saleswoman.
(7 vs. 5+2) Ukrainian, focused on the Assault Team, fails to see Nunzillor coming until the final moments and instinctively reacts, drawing her head back and dodging the blade by about a half-inch, the steel flashing before her eyes. (2+2 vs. 9) Ukrainian comes in for a strike but Nun smacks her in the face with the dull part of the sword, knocking her away. Refusing to let Ranger get the final blow, Nunzillor put the Katana up to her neck,
"Shi ima, eikō eien ni." With one swing, Nunzillor finishes what Ukrainian started. Her body topples onto the ground as her head rolls away from it.
Ukrainian Ranger forced Nunzillor to commit Seppuku!
+Article: Joseph Mössmer: +2 Neoclassical Painting & InstructionAbstract decides to put his efforts into volunteering for the Denmark Relief Effort, but before he leaves the city he heads to one of the few remaining payphones to give Autumn a call if she'd like to come along, putting in some of his precious remaining money into the machine. (10) Abstract calls Autumn and gives a tearful soliloquy on how he's faced great hardships in his life and all he wants to do is help people, and how he'll prove it to her if she gives him another chance by coming down to Denmark. She not only gives him a second chance, his vulnerable yet eloquent speech really swayed her. Parking outside Autumn's apartment, the barista exits and gets in the passenger's seat, saying she wants to help and gives Abstract a kiss. [Autumn is smitten!] As the two of them catch up on the drive to Denmark, they find a great deal of traffic blocking their progress. "Ugh...great...wait, what the hell-?" It appears that a large factor to this slowdown is a plane driving down the highway, causing a lot of blockage. Abstract freezes up when he sees the woman driving the plane; it's a Wiki-Warrior. Autumn is confused, "Do you know her?"
Salsacookies slowly stands up, his legs still trembling. The low blow landed on him has awakened some sort of bestial power deep within his soul,
"Fine, if you want to leave, I'LL SHOW YOU THE WAY!" (5-2 vs. 1) Salsacookies bull-rushes Chuck, who is stunned by the sheer speed and furiousosity that Salsa is coming onto him with, which makes it easy for the bodybuilder to wrap his hands around Chuck; while Tiny Chuck's name is supposed to be ironic, Salsacookies turns it from a joke into a fitting title. (9+2) Salsacookies hoists the militant above him and throws him over the edge, his body tumbling through the air until it hits the asphalt which lays about forty feet below. Salsacookies makes his way down the hill after hearing the satisfying splatter of Chuck and retrieves his Barbell Hammer. At the bottom, he comes across a peculiar sight, a snowmobile, an unconscious man with a Grenade Launcher and pieces of metal embedded in what might have been a person at some point.
High tyrol begins to get fed up with the traffic which she felt war worse here than even back in New York City. She presses onward but finds there someone stopping her way; a single car is still in the middle of an intersection, refusing to yield even to her mighty biplane. The car is an outdated model and the driver is wearing a WWI uniform, so High concludes she's dealing with either a crazy person or a fellow contestant, each of which would be incredibly dangerous.
Ukrainian Ranger turns to face Nunzillor after being sword slapped, but the rebel leader has already cut herself down. Thus, Ranger turns to the Assault Militia who are attempting to murder her lone ally. (3+2 vs.
Ranger runs up behind one of the militia with a flying knee attack, but he leaps out of the way and Ranger ends up sailing through the air and landing on top of the counter. (1 vs. 5) The other militia moves back and takes cover in one of the aisles, shooting at Ukrainian as he retreats but failing to do anything besides waste more ammunition.
Greatness waits for anyone to enter the grocery store, but there's a noticeable lack of action on the outside while gun shots and yells continue to come from within. He climbs back down from the roof and goes through the front door, ducking down and trying to stealth around the fighting while everyone else is still distracted. (4) Initially, Greatness is not seen as he turns into the aisles and stays away from the main combat. He sneaks down the Pet Food/Cleaning Supplies aisle, Katana drawn, when the militia fleeing from Ukrainian runs down the aisle and runs into him, face-to-face. Both fighters stare at each other for about a tenth of a second before trying to gain the initiative, (6 vs. 5). The Assault soldier's rifle is pointed at Greatness's torso just a second too late as Greatness has already lunged at him with his blade. (1+3 vs. 10) The militia backflips away from the attack and a dumbstruck Greatness ends up stabbing into a big of dog food, spilling kibble all over the floor. (1 vs. 6) The militia lands on his feet, and fires at Greatness, missing him but destroying even more pet chow, and running out of ammunition in the process as his empty gun makes that signature 'out of ammunition' clink.
Elephant Parade enters the city and marches back to the royal pyramid, his wings now having dried off and are fully out on display. Each person he passes immediately stops what they are doing to fall on their knees for him and bow their head. He comes to the altar plaza at the top of the pyramid, where all the nobles and soldiers inside greet him similarly, except for the Emperor who does not fall on one knee or get up from his throne, but similarly bows. "Hail, I have come bearing good news, I have destroyed one of their floating houses, even if the leader wasn't on it, the ensuing confusion ought to buy us some time while they try to find some nonexistent traitor, how are your soldiers going with the weapon training?" The Emperor picks up his head, "This is excellent news, Disciple of Quetzalcoatl. The ensuing panic may make them consider fleeing back to the realm they sprung from." (2+1[Servant Assistance]) The reports of the weapon training is disappointing, "These new weapons are fascinating and your servant is quite skilled with them, yet we find them impractical; if they are exposed to even a little water or dirt, they become inoperable, and our soldiers can fire five arrows or throw three javelins in the time it takes to fire a single shot and reload. As for your servant himself, since he is our closest communication to you while you are away, we have promoted him to the Rank of High Priest in our society."
The Emperor motions to his own servants who place some substance in the nearby torches that turn them from a mundane red to a brilliant glowing green. The Emperor ominously stands, "Our time of vengeance is at hand. I am prepared to serve you directly, and by association, I will do as you say with all of my power, and let you guide me in commanding my empire, Holy One. But to lead my people, you must have a name that speaks to the soul of our people. What do you choose?"
[+Vassal: Aztec Empire]
[Choose a God Name - Will be translated into Aztec.]
From the horizon comes forth an older man, with a parted grey hairstyle and a professional trimmed mustache, his WWI Uniform (a common fashion among contestants) adorned with all sorts of medals and stripes, indicating his high prestige and experience. He is accompanied by a serious looking black soldier many years his junior, scanning his surroundings from the sights of a Springfield Rifle. The two of them travel in a vehicle, one that lacks windows or doors or seats, in fact, it appears to have nothing on it besides a giant saddle, a steering wheel and a few wheels below; perhaps it's some sort of minimalist experimental device? Or maybe a fantastical beast that no mortal has yet seen? As it comes closer it can clearly be identified as...oh.
The venerable Major General Person rides into battle on a giant potato!
Name: Execute/Dumbo.exe
Gender: Male
Nationality: Iranian/Russian
Karaindash: +2 Administration, +2 Diplomacy
Rufa Mae Quinto: +2 Acting, +2 Singing
The Other Face of Janus: +Ability: Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation
Arman Sedghi: +2 Engineering
Sviatopolk I of Kiev: +2 Military Strategy, +2 Assassination, +Loyal Boyar Subject
Status: Fine
Kills: 0
Assets: Loyal Boyar Subject (Dagger), Shortsword
Abilities:
Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation - Can open up portals in paintings to travel in and out of them. A strange and enigmatic power, use it carefully.
Wings of Quetzalcoatl - Can fly.
Vessel: The Aztec Empire (Aztec Emperor)
Army:
87 Generals
320,000 Aztec Soldiers
Standard War Party Equipment - Bows, Obsidian Spears, Cloth Armor, Hardwood Helmets
Looted European Equipment: Muskets, Crossbows, Rapiers, Steel Armor, Steel Helmets
Name: Twinwolf
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/Yugoslavian
Johnny Strange: +2 Juggling, +2 Marksmanship, +Abilities: Black Hole Swallow Technique + Fire-breath Manipulator
Sluggish schizophrenia: +2 Psychological Torture
Dimitrije Ljotić: +2 Fascist Nationalism, +2 Law, +Judge's Suit
Black Thunder: +Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area)
Kartouwe: +Kartouwe Cannon
Status: Normal
Assets: Judge's Suit, Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area), Kartouwe Cannon
Abilities:
Black Hole Swallow Technique - Swallows any dangerous weapon or object that can fit inside his stomach with no negative effects.
Fire-breath Manipulator - Inhales a nearby source of fire and then can breathe it out of his mouth.
Name: Hawk132
Gender: Male
Nationality: Chilean
Lucho Gatica: +2
Bolero Dancing, +2 Acting
Vegetable juice: +Ability: Juice Up!
Jim Webb: +2 Naval Ability, +2 Politics, +Politican's Suit, +Ability: I want my 10 Minutes!
Bongolo: +2 Medic, +2 Romance
North American cuisine: +2 Cooking American Cuisine, +Grill
Status: Right Ear Torn [-2 Hearing, Bleeding], Chest Shot Twice [Light Bleeding]
Assets: Politician's Suit, Grill, Riot Gun [4/6], Police Pistol [5/9], 1 & 1/3 Plastic Bags of Vegetables
Abilities:
Juice Up - Can instantly turn any vegetable he comes in contact to into juice. Also, metabolizes vegetable juice very quickly to the point it can actually heal him. E.g., 10 Juiced carrots = 1 Medkit.
I want my 10 Minutes! (Passive) - Constantly demands to have a full, uninterrupted ten minutes so that he can say what he wants. Super effective against Anderson Cooper.
Name: AbstractTraitorHero
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/American
Aston Martin DP212: +Aston Martin DP212 Sports Car
Joel Halliwell: +2 Horseback Riding, +2 Inspiration, +English WWI Uniform
Dzhamal Otarsultanov: +2 Wrestling
Ira Shafer: +2 Law, +2 Politics
Jon Denning: +2 Driving
Status: Normal
Assets: Aston Martin DP212 Sports Car, English WWI Uniform, Green Bay Amateur Wrestling Champion Belt
Love Interest - Autumn [Smitten]
Name: Ukrainian Ranger
Gender: Female
Nationality: American
Gerri Elliot: +2 Business, +Business Suit
Alwyn Bramley-Moore: +2 Politics, +2 Writing, +2 WWI Combat
Henri Bouillard: +2 Theology
J.C. Penny: +2 Business (+4 Total), +1 J.C. Penny Store in the Green Bay Area
Chad Power: +2 Martial Arts
Joseph Solvinto: +2 Boxing (+3 Punching Total)
+Article:
Joseph Mössmer: +2 Neoclassical Painting & Instruction
Status: Left Forearm Fractured [-2 to Two-handed Actions], Bruised Nose
Kills: 2
Assets: Business Suit, 1 J.C. Penny Store in the Green Bay Area
Name: Elephant Parade
Gender: Male
Nationality: Azerbaijani
Azerbaijani Art: +2 Art
Sean Buckley: +2 Entrepreneurship, +Thoroughbred Racehorse, +Business Suit
Thomas Wentworth: +2 Muskets, +1 Swords, +Musket, +British Empire Officer's Saber
LaVern Gibson Championship Cross Country Course: +2 Agility & Speed in Natural Environments
Jake Deitchler: +2 Wrestling
Dmitri Tymoczko: +2 Music Composition, +2 Music Theory
Status: Left Foot Shot (-2 to Agility, Moderate Bleeding)
Assets: Thoroughbred Racehorse (Lower Torso Shot, Bleeding), Musket [0/1], British Empire Officer's Saber
Name: Salsacookies
Gender: Male
Nationality: Italian/Greek
Marco Bortolami: +2 Tackling
Songo River Queen II: +Songo River Queen II Riverboat
David J. Rudolph: +2 Scholarly Writing (+3 Scholarly Writing on Judaism)
Revolving Door: +Ability: Revolving Door Revolution
Perikles Kakousis: +2 Strength, +Barbell, +Olympian Weightlifter's Garb
Status: Fine
Assets: Songo River Queen II Riverboat, Barbell Hammer (Requires exceptional Strength to wield), Olympian Weightlifter's Garb
Abilities:
Revolving Door Revolution - Once per turn, can turn a normal door into a revolving door.
Name: "Dad" Person
Gender: Male
Nationality: American
Borscht Film Festival: +2 Directing, +2 Film Knowledge
William H. Hay: +2 Large Scale Infantry Tactics, +2 Trench Warfare, +2 WWI-Era Firearms, +1 Swords, +2 Horseback Riding, +M1911 Pistol, +WWI Officer's Sword, +WWI General's Uniform, +Ally: Buffalo Soldier, +Nickname: "Dad"
Blackfoot Idaho: +Gargantuan Mobile Potato
Sérvulo Gutiérrez: +2 Painting
Laki Pingvini: +2 New Wave/Synthpop/Pop Rock Music
Status: Fine
Assets: M1911 Pistol [7/7], WWI Officer's Sword, WWI General's Uniform, Gargantuan Mobile Potato (Giant Saddle, Steering Wheel, 6 Wheels, Motor)
Allies: Buffalo Soldier (M1903 Springfield Rifle [5/5], Trench Knife, WWI Infantry Uniform, WWI Helmet
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Topic: Wikipedia-Wars: Round 73 - A Coruna Showdown (Read 162177 times)